SERIES 6 - SCTV CHANNEL

John Candy | Joe Flaherty | Eugene Levy | Andrea Martin | Martin Short | with Mary Charlotte Wilcox | John Hemphill

Series 6

Director: John Blanchard; additional segments, second unit John Bell, Don McCutcheon, Paul Flaherty
Writers: Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, John McAndrew, Bob Dolman, Mike Short, David Flaherty, John Hemphill with Doug Steckler (12-18), Judith Kahan (2-6), Valri Bromfield (1-4, 6)
Producers: Patrick Whitley, Andrew Alexander

1 (118) Maudlin O' the Night
2 (119) Gimme Jackie / Australia
3 (120) It's a Wonderful Film
4 (121) The Date Debate / Scary Previews
5 (122) You're On / Das Boobs
6 (123) Stars In One: Bob Hope / Happy Hour
7 (124) Stalag SCTV
8 (125) Diary of a Female Person / Happy Hour
9 (126) Just For Fun / Black Like Vic

10 (127) Youth, Do They Give a Damn or What? / Happy Hour
11 (128) Allenscam / Mel's Rock Pile
12 (129) Oliver Grimley
13 (130) 2009 Jupiter and Beyond
14 (131) Half Wits / Save the World Parade
15 (132) Jackie Rogers Jr for President / Happy Hour
16 (133) Celebrity Fairie Tayles / Canadian Gaffes
17 (134) You're On / Happy Hour
18 (135) Pledge Week

SCTV now begins its programming day. Yes, it's SCTV, beaming its two cents worth across the nation. Starring Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, Andrea Martin and Martin Short. Television as you've never seen it before. This is SCTV!
Narrator - staff announcer

SCTV Channel on CinemaxCancelled by NBC, SCTV was picked up by Cinemax in the States and Superchannel in Canada as a 45-minute show, produced every two weeks. In keeping with the pay-tv spirit of its new host networks, SCTV became the pay TV 'SCTV Channel', dropped the musical guests and adopted a heavier focus on movie parodies. (The show also gets a new theme, by Russ Little.)

With the departure of John Candy, only four cast members remained. Despite an apparent unwillingness to take on any new full cast members, they do get some help: John Hemphill, who appeared frequently in bit parts throughout Series 5, appears regularly as Happy Marsden and Wesley Wilks, and contributes some memorable bits, including Shangri-La Dance Studios and Salt Buddy, while Mary Charlotte Wilcox continues to appear as a semi-regular. Finally, John Candy, Catherine O'Hara and Dave Thomas all make guest appearances.

While somewhat less consistent than previous series, there are still plenty of great moments, including credible outings by Vic Arpeggio, Jackie Rogers Jr. and Brock Linehan, some superb movie parodies, and the excellent serial sendup Six Gun Justice, hosted by lush Happy Marsden.

A sign perhaps that the show was starting to run out of steam, the episodes towards the end of the series are increasingly padded with promos featuring clips from upcoming or past material (as opposed to promos that are sketches in themselves), and a set of SCTV Channel promos, also featuring clips of past material, with characters reciting the new station motto: Be there! The promos feature a mystery: Dialing for Dollars hosted by Earl Camembert and The Sammy Maudlin Show: Just for Kids are featured in two promos, but the clips are too short and disjointed to make any sense as sketches themselves. However, if there were longer versions, they must have been dropped, as they are featured nowhere else.

The final episodes were filmed in April 1984. In June, Martin Short announced he was jumping to Saturday Night Live, though Executive Producer Andrew Alexander waited until Tuesday July 3 to make it official: SCTV had wrapped for good. At the same time, he announced that 156 half-hour shows (later expanded to 185) had been sold into syndication in markets across the States.

Best of the Best: Stars In One: Bob Hope, Black Like Vic, 2009 Jupiter and Beyond

6 - 1 Maudlin O' the Night with John Candy
Airdate: 22 November 1983

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John Candy makes his final appearance on the show with another Steve Roman piece and the Happy Wanderers New Wave special. Candy and Levy would return to the Shmenges a year later in The Last Polka. The Sammy Maudlin Show returns with aggressive promotion, an updated look, and a new hip 80s attitude, while Troy Soren, last seen running for the board of education in the municipal election, teams up with Joel Weiss to tackle the big issues of the day.

Additional Viewing: Maudlin 'O the Night takes its inspiration from Alan Thicke's short lived talk show Thicke of the Night, produced by legendary TV executive Fred Silverman, which tried to take on Carson in 1983. Prickley Business is a parody of Risky Business. Moms Dearest parodies Mommie Dearest, a tell-all 1978 book by Christine Crawford about her mother Joan Crawford, and made into a movie starring Faye Dunaway in 1981; Jackie "Moms" Mabley was a stand-up comedienne and vaudeville actress. The Calvin Kline Jeans commercial (the first of two in Series 6) parodies a famous Calvin Klein campaign featuring Brooke Shields.

Syndication Note: Curiously, the Candy sketches (New Wave Shmenge, JFK My Way) were cut from syndication. Message from Guy and one of the Maudlin promos were also cut.

Also appearing: Mary Charlotte Wilcox, Ron James, Debra McGrath

1 Message from Guy: SCTV Channel

Guy introduces SCTV Channel, a new pay tv network.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

2 Promo: Maudlin O' the Night: Watch Out Johnny 181

Johnny Carson better watch out, because there's a new late night talk show coming.

Announcer - staff announcer

3 Promo: Soren-Weiss Report 160

Soren and Weiss, bored at the news stand.

Troy Soren - Short; Joel Weiss - Levy; announcer - announcer 2

4 Commercial: Prickley Business 184

A young man at home alone, gets an older woman, a professional, to satisfy his needs. They double-date with his pal and Edna Boil.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Edna Boil - Martin; Tom Cruise - Short; Donald - Ron James; announcer - staff announcer

3a Promo: Soren-Weiss Report 160

Soren and Weiss, bored watching TV in a store.

Troy Soren - Short; Joel Weiss - Levy; announcer - announcer 2

5 Promo: JFK My Way with Steve Roman

Steve takes a crack at the Kennedy accent. The Bay of Pigs, fights with Jackie, all the while doing their very best to keep those accents together.

Steve Roman - Candy; Liz Torrence as Jackie - Martin; G-Men - Roger Dunn, extras

6 Soren-Weiss Report 160

Soren and Weiss start by discussing Central America. Joel gives it a 2 out of 10, Troy a 3. They move on to the Soviets - Troy gives them a 3, Joel a 2. The Royal Family get a positive review - Joel gives them a 9, Troy a 10. In the Capsule Comments segment, Troy gives quick analysis on Northern Ireland, Africa, nuclear disarmament, El Salvador, and acid rain.

Troy Soren - Short; Joel Weiss - Levy; announcer - announcer 2

2a Promo: Maudlin o' the Night: Who's After Your Job

Sammy's coming for Johnny's job.

Announcer - staff announcer

7 The Happy Wanderers: New Wave Shmenge Part 1

Yosh and Stan salute new wave music. They start with 'Billy Jean'. They plug their new album, 'New Wave Shmenge'. They have a video of their new single.

Video: Power to the Punk People Polka

A conceptual video.

Stan Shmenge - Candy; Yosh Shmenge - Levy; New Wave Chick - extra; New Wave Kids - extras; punk people - extras

Stan and Yosh talk to some people in the audience.

Stan Shmenge - Candy; Yosh Shmenge - Levy; Audience - extras; Happy Wanderers band - extras

BUMPER "The ultimate choice - this is SCTV." Announcer - staff announcer

8 Commercial: Calvin Kline Jeans: Jeanine 160

Just because she had a fish bone caught in her throat, doesn't mean she's not going to eat fish any more. That's just the kind of girl she is.

Jeanine - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

7a The Happy Wanderers: New Wave Shmenge Part 2

The Wanderers perform 'Wishing (If I Had a Photograph)' by A Flock of Seagulls. They flog the new wave album again. Credit crawl over the new video.

Stan Shmenge - Candy; Yosh Shmenge - Levy; Audience - extras; Happy Wanderers band - extras

2b Promo: Maudlin o' the Night: Somebody is Sneaking up Behind You 181

Maudlin's gonna knock Johnny off the air for good.

Announcer - staff announcer

9 Melonville Calendar: School Fire 180

It's Greenery Week in Melonville. Yolanda is joined by Idella and Captain O'Malley to discuss the recent school fire, and look at some drawings by some schoolchildren.

Yolanda DeVillbis - Martin; Captain O'Malley - Flaherty; Idella Voudry - Wilcox

10 Maudlin o' the Night Part 1 181

Maudlin's show's got a hot new set and he comes out flying with a song and dance and a fresh new look.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer

11 Commercial: Moms Dearest 166

The shocking true story of Moms Mabley, written by her daughter, soon to be a motion picture.

Moms Mabley - extra; Christina Mabley - extra; announcer - staff announcer

10a Maudlin o' the Night Part 2 181

Maudlin takes a hit of oxygen and talks about what the new show is all about, how he got a new producer Freddy Silverman, ditched William B and replaced them with Maudlin's Zanies: Soozloff, master of improvisation, Meltzer, McConnachie, and Cole, the voice cracking intellectual. Soozloff improvises with some objects. Sammy's first guest is Jennifer Beals, who has a clip from her new film Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Clip: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Jennifer Beals - Martin; Jennifer Beals' acting double - Lynne Griffin; man - extra

Sammy's next guest is Kissinger, who's drunk and in a foul mood. He decks Soozloff and knocks over the new set. Sammy blames Silverman for the fiasco and apologizes to Johnny Carson.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Jennifer Beals - Martin; Henry Kissinger - Levy; Howie Soozloff - Short; Cole - Ron James; McConnachie - Debra McGrath; Meltzer - extra; Producer Freddy Silverman - extra; crew - extras

11 Promo: An Officer and a Gentile

Clip from An Officer and a Gentile. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 2 Gimme Jackie / Australia with Dave Thomas
Airdate: 6 December 1983

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In the first of three episodes to feature guest Dave Thomas, he appears in no less than five sketches as Mel McElroy, star of Australian stage and screen. Hollywood Dirt Tonight marks the return of National Midnight Star publisher Rawl Withers.

Additional Viewing: Gimme Jackie is a spoof of Gimme Shelter, the 1970 documentary of the Rolling Stones' 1969 tour. This episode also features a trio of Aussie films, Mad Max, The Road Warrior, and Breaker Morant; also An Officer and a Gentleman.

Also featuring: John Hemphill, Ron James, Kathy Laskey, Don Lamont

1 Promo: An Officer and a Gentile 183

A heartrending story about a love that crosses religious boundaries, and a young recruit. Sid Dithers is the brutal drill sergeant, Kelly Macintosh is the woman who loves him.

Sid Dithers - Levy; Cubby C Scott - Short; Kelly Macintosh - Martin; announcer - staff announcer; recruits - extras

2 Commercial: Rooaway 167

A deadly aerosol from down under. Just what you need for those pesky roos beating up on your kids.

Mel McElroy - Thomas; Crew - extra

3 Promo: We Got a Maid 165

Perini will be starring in a new comedy this season.

Perini Scleroso - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

4 Hollywood Dirt Tonight Part 1 184

Rawl and Remy have all the dirt. Vic Hedges has an interview with Buddy Hackett's former chauffeur and lover. Rawl and Remy give the headlines. An interview with Doctor Feenie, surgeon to the stars.

Rawl Withers - Levy; Remy Martin - Martin; Vic Hedges - Flaherty; Doug Grosvenor - Short; Doctor Ted Feenie - Hemphill

5 Commercial: Self Made Mel 167

The Australian star of stage and screen shares his tips on success.

Mel McElroy - Thomas

4a Hollywood Dirt Tonight Part 2 184

Rawl and Remy have never seen before screen tests for The Verdict, featuring Jack Klugman, Stuart Granger and David Steinberg. A National Midnight Star Production.

Rawl Withers - Levy; Remy Martin - Martin; Jack Klugman - Flaherty; David Steinberg - Short; Stuart Granger - extra

BUMPER "Hello, I'm Mel McElroy, and this is SCTV." Mel McElroy - Thomas

3a Promo: We Got a Maid 165

Some more details about Perini's new comedy.

Perini Scleroso - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

6 Commercial: Think Aussie 167

If you've got a problem, think Aussie. Sheep, Men At Work - the Aussies have got it all.

Mel McElroy - Thomas

7 Promo: SCTV News 181

A hard hitting fast paced promo for SCTV News, highlighting the differences between Earl and Floyd.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

3b Promo: We Got a Maid 165

Perini is the live-in maid for two swinging bachelors. "Television's perkiest domestic."

Perini Scleroso - Martin; Bachelors - Ron James, Don Lamont; girlfriends - Kathy Laskey, extra; announcer - staff announcer

8 Promo: Mel McElroy Film Festival 167

Mel plugs a festival of his films, all featuring his uncanny Australian savvy, courage, and a bit of luck.

Clip: Mad Mel

Mel is after the Night Rider and gets some roadkill on the way.

Mel McElroy - Thomas; Other cop - Hemphill

Clip: The Roo Warrior

Mel recommends using Rooaway.

Mel McElroy - Thomas; Post-holocaust freaks - extras

Clip: Breaker McElroy

Mel reckons they had bad luck.

Mel McElroy - Thomas; two other officers - extras

So don't be a wanker, see the festival.

Mel McElroy - Thomas

9 Promo: All Weather Talk Show 170

Everyone's favorite topic, but you don't have to sit through news and sports to see it.

Host: Julio Velez - Levy; Guest Weathercaster - Short; Guest Weathercaster - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer

10 Gimme Jackie 167

Jackie reviews footage of the events leading up to and following his free concert at Primrose Farm.

F Lee Bailey and Jackie's manager, Mel McElroy, arrange the concert. Mel has hired Shriners to do security. Jackie arrives at Primrose Ranch and declares that the concert is about "music, good weed, and some heavy duty balling." The Shriners are causing trouble, so they cut the opening act, Senor Wences, short. Jackie starts his set with "The Love Boat Theme." The crowd starts fighting with the Shriners, so Jackie stops the show and a riot breaks out. The crowd rushes the stage.
Indicted for inciting the riot, F Lee Bailey persuades Jackie to appear on Lie Detector to prove his innocence.

Lie Detector

Jackie's got lyrics to the lie detector theme. F Lee grills Jackie about his motives for staging the concert.

F Lee Bailey - Levy; Jackie Rogers Jr - Short; announcer - staff announcer

Jackie decides life is made to live just once, not to re-live through video.

Jackie Rogers Jr - Short; Mark - Ron James; Mel McElroy - Thomas; F Lee Bailey - Levy; Don - Don Dickinson; Shriners - extras; Zale Primrose - Short; MC - Flaherty; Ted Healy (reporting) - Ron James; Senor Wences - Flaherty; crew, band, rock fans - extras

11 Promo: Christmas Movie

Clip from It's a Wonderful Film. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 3 It's A Wonderful Film with Catherine O'Hara
Airdate: 20 December 1983

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The third Christmas show tries something different with one of SCTV's most ambitious sketches, the show-length movie It's a Wonderful Film. Two Driftwood Inn commercials bookend the film.

Additional Viewing: It's a Wonderful Film takes inspiration from Going My Way, A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 34th Street, and teenage sex comedies, wrapped in It's A Wonderful Life.

Also featuring: Charles Palmer

1 Commercial: Christmas at The New Driftwood Inn 168

Chester and Gert have gone on holiday and Eddie has given the place a makeover, and invites young swingers for intimate dining in Dante's Inferno, formerly the Beachcomber Room. Chef Ike Wong's special dish is prime roast beef and sushi. The New Improved Driftwood Christmas Eve will feature the battle of the punk bands in the Lobotomy Room (formerly the Crow's Nest Lounge).

Announcer - Levy

2 Pre-Emption Notice

Mel's Rock Pile won't be seen tonight...

Announcer - staff announcer

3 SCTV Special Presentation: It's A Wonderful Film 168/169

Marty Simmons interrupts the shooting of Frank Bailey's latest Christmas picture, fires Bailey, puts his own director (Toby) on the job to turn it into a teen sex comedy. Driving back home, Marty listens to the radio (Jackie Rogers Jr and the Queenhaters), swerves to avoid Bailey in the road, hits his head, and enters the surreal town of Krebbsville.

Going My Way: Entering a church to get some help, he finds Bing Crosby directing some choirboys. No one can see him. Father Fitzgibbons enters with the sad news that Krebbs has pulled the plug on the orphanage. Bailey (who can see him) shows up and gives Marty a tour of the town.

Miracle on 34th Street: At Krebb's Department Store, Santa Claus is fired for not pushing the right products.

A Christmas Carol: Into the town cinema, Marty watches himself enter A Christmas Carol on the screen to witness several of Krebbs' former acquaintances vying to make money from his death in Dickensian England, and then goes into the street for Krebb's funeral procession. Inevitably he finds that Krebbs is himself.

He wakes up and mends his ways. An extraordinarily happy ending ensues.

Frank Bailey - Charles Palmer; Marty Simmons - Levy; Jeannie - O'Hara; Clark Gable, Edward G Robinson (voice only) - Flaherty; Judy Holliday (voice only) - O'Hara; Announcer - Levy

Film Set: Husband in movie - Short; Amy (Wife in movie) - Martin; other movie cast - extras; Grandma - extra; Uncle Bob - extra; Repo men - extras; daughters/towel girls - extras, Jessica Steen; Toby Durant - Short; Comedy writers - Paul Flaherty, extras; waiter - McAndrew; crew - extras; Jackie Rogers Jr, Queenhaters (on radio) - Short; crew - extra (also appeared as Luigi Dispilatro); Governor of New York - extra (also appeared as Larry Preston); Pope - extra; Mitch Miller - Flaherty

Going My Way: Father Bing Crosby - Flaherty; kids - extras; Father Fitzgibbon - John McAndrew; Mother Crosby - Flaherty

Miracle on 34th Street: Mr Sawyer - Short; Distraught Mother - Martin; Santa Claus - extra; kids, elves, shoppers - extras

A Christmas Carol: Coroner - Short; Publisher - Flaherty, Secretary - O'Hara, Woman - Martin; funeral procession of characters from the rest of the film - extras

4 Commercial: New Years at The Driftwood Inn 169

Chester an Gert are back, but the Driftwood was destroyed in a Christmas riot in the Lobotomy Room. Eddy and Ike Wong are in the hospital. The Driftwood will, however, return.

Announcer - Levy

5 Promo: Rich and Jealous

Clip from Rich and Jealous. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 4 The Date Debate/Scary Previews with Valri Bromfield, Dave Thomas and Catherine O'Hara
Airdate: 3 January 1984

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Count Floyd and Woody Tobias Jr co-host a new movie review show, Scary Previews, which features Woody's second solo venture (after Death Motel from Series 3). Features the second of three guest appearances by Dave Thomas, here appearing in a promo doing his Michael Caine impression, and in two bits with Valri Bromfield, who he would later collaborate with on The New Show. Bromfield also appears in Rich and Jealous, impersonating Ruth Gordon opposite Martin's Streisand; Bromfield would reprise her Gordon impression on The New Show.

Additional Viewing: Rich and Jealous sends up the 1981 film Rich and Famous; the music used in the Date Debate is the theme of the 1966 film Un Homme et une Femme; Scary Previews parodies the format of Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel's Sneak Previews. The Calvin Kline Jeans commercial (the second of two in Series 6) parodies a famous Calvin Klein campaign featuring Brooke Shields.

1 Promo: Rich and Jealous 174

The love-hate feel-good movie of the year. The story of two childhood friends; one is now rich, the other jealous. Barbara Streisand's directorial debut.

Barbara Streisand - Martin; Ruth Gordon - Valri Bromfield; Man, customers - extras; announcer - staff announcer

2 The Date Debate Part 1 185

We're introduced to Clotta and Hugh, who will debate their unsuccessful date.

Host: Wolf Winkerlon - Short; Co-host: Dr Cheryl Kinsey - Martin; Clotta White - O'Hara; Hugh Marshall - Flaherty

3 Promo: Scary Previews

Clip from Scary Previews. Announcer - staff announcer

4 Commercial: Calvin Kline Jeans: Roberta 171

Roberta has a thought-provoking anecdote about New York City.

Roberta - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

5 Commercial: The Mousetrap with Michael Caine 174

Michael Caine has a dilemma: people think Sleuth and Deathtrap are too much alike.

Michael Caine - Thomas

2a The Date Debate Part 2 185

Hugh goes to the isolation chamber while Clotta makes her case. Apparently Hugh didn't speak to her for the entire evening. Clotta makes her way to the isolation chamber; Hugh makes his case by not saying a word. Dr Kinsey shares her analysis of the situation. The audience votes in favor of Clotta. Clotta chooses to spin the Wheel of Romance. Clotta and Wolf make their way to the wheel, in another studio. She spins her way into a date with Otis.

Host: Wolf Winkerlon - Short; Co-host: Dr Cheryl Kinsey - Martin; Clotta White - O'Hara; Hugh Marshall - Flaherty; Otis Fluker - Marcus O'Hara; eligible bachelors - Hemphill, extras; studio audience - extras

6 Promo: The Lottery 162

Perini wins 1 million from The Lottery. "Who knows - maybe you'll be next."

Perini Scleroso - Martin; Man from The Lottery - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

7 Commercial: Skidder Ridder 160

For when you have a problem with mosquitoes. Skidder Ridder - "Protection. All night."

Pryce Ashley - Thomas; Dixie Ashley - Valri Bromfield

8 Promo: Mel's Rock Pile 184

Clips from the 60's show. Announcer - staff announcer

9 Scary Previews 161

Count Floyd and Woody Tobias Jr have a new show where they review scary films. First up is a remake of Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde starring Scott Baio.

Clip: Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde

Scott transforms from Jeckyl into Hyde sans make-up.

Scott Baio - Short

They both vote no on that one. Second is a sequel to Cujo, Cujo II.

Clip: Cujo II

A man is pursued by a raving housewife.

Man - Thomas; Woman - Valri Bromfield

They both recommend Cujo II. Bruno's pick for Stiff of the Week is The Night of Living Dangerously. Floyd's pick is Woody's own Mysterious Disappearance of Dr Tongue, in 3D.

Clip: The Mysterious Disappearance of Dr Tongue

Bruno searches for Dr Tongue.

Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy

Floyd asks why Woody did the film. Woody claims he was trying to be existential.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy

10 Promo: Stars In One

Clips from the Hope interview. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 5 You're On / Das Boobs
Airdate: 17 January 1984

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Das Boobs

Das Boobs puts Porky's on the deck of Das Boot. Also features a trio of commercials with Irving Cohen, and the call-in show You're On, hosted by councilman for Melonville East, Max Lansky.

Additional Viewing: Wolfgang Petersen's gripping 1981 feature Das Boot and the inexplicably popular 1982 teen sex farce Porky's.

Syndication Note: You're On was excluded from syndication.

Also featuring: John Hemphill, Ron James, Kathy Laskey

1 Commercial: Dust Free Furniture Polish 161

Irving Cohen writes Dust-Free's new jingle. "Dust Free - A proven performer."

Irving Cohen - Short; announcer - staff announcer

2 Promo: Das Boobs

Clip from Das boobs. Announcer - staff announcer

3 Promo: Stars in One: Senor Wences' Hand Puppet 165

Part 4 of Brock's look at the turbulent career of Senor Wences' Hand Puppet. Answers to such questions as "what scares a hand puppet". The break-up with Senor Wences. They revisit some classic routines.

Brock Linehan - Short; Senor Wences' Hand Puppet - Flaherty

4 You're On: Jamaican Vacation Part 1

Melonville councilman and businessman Max Lansky hosts this call-in show. His first night back after 3 months in Jamaica, he talks a bit about his holiday before going to the phone. The first caller asks about his holiday and Jamaica, and then about flooding on his land. The second caller makes fun of Max's hair piece. Max takes the high road.

Max Lansky - Levy; first caller - Flaherty; second caller - extra; announcer - staff announcer

5 SCTV Foreign Film Festival: Das Boobs Part 1 163

Screenplay By Bob Clark, Wolfgang Peterson and Harold Von Ramis. Directed by Harold Von Ramis.

The Captain welcomes the crew on board. They are on a secret mission. It is Pee-Wee's birthday. There are two women on board, part of an experiment in co-ed U-boats. The Captain's thoughts are preoccupied with getting Pee-Wee laid.

Captain Highliner - Flaherty; Walter Slezak - Hemphill; Fritz Feld - Levy; Peewee Reese - Short; Eric Hoffer - Ron James; Helmut Schmidt - John McAndrew; Marlena Zadora - Martin; Gerta - special business extra; announcer - staff announcer

6 Commercial: Bojax Cleanser 161

Irving Cohen helps Marinne get her sink clean. Bojax - "no matter how old your sink is, it performs."

Irving Cohen - Short; Marinne - Kathy Laskey; announcer - staff announcer

5a SCTV Foreign Film Festival: Das Boobs Part 2 163

The Captain discusses the mission with the male crew - a virtual suicide mission. It seems more imperative than ever to get Pee-Wee laid. The Captain promises to see how well the women are at taking orders. The Captain talks to Marlena, while the men give Pee-Wee tips. Marlena pays Pee-Wee a visit, while the others watch Gerta take a shower through a hole in the wall, when disaster strikes.

Captain Highliner - Flaherty; Walter Slezak - Hemphill; Fritz Feld - Levy; Peewee Reese - Short; Eric Hoffer - Ron James; Helmut Schmidt - John McAndrew; Marlena Zadora - Martin; Gerta - special business extra; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER "Still beaming its two-cents worth, this is SCTV." Announcer - staff announcer

7 Commercial: Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Boil World 160

The warehouse has expanded to include Boil World - Mother Nature's greatest mistakes.

Edna Boil - Martin; Boil Boy (Kid from Deliverance) - Short

4a You're On: Jamaican Vacation Part 2

Back to You're On, and Max is still discussing crank calls. He gets another prank call about his piece. Other callers go over Jamaica again. Max loses it.

Max Lansky - Levy; first caller - Martin; husband - extra; callers - Paul Flaherty, extras; announcer - staff announcer

8 Commercial: Tardy Cannon 161

Tardy Cannon - "because the earlier you get there, the earlier you can leave."

Irving Cohen - Short; Edie - extra; announcer - staff announcer

4b You're On: Jamaican Vacation Part 3

Max is still raving about the prank caller.

Max Lansky - Levy; caller - extra

6 - 6 Stars In One: Bob Hope/Happy Hour with Dave Thomas and Catherine O'Hara
Airdate: 31 January 1984

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The first appearance of children's show Happy Hour, hosted by lush Happy Marsden and featuring the adventure serial Six Gun Justice, a highlight of the Cinemax series. Also features the semi-final round of Half Wits, and Brock Linehan interviews Bob Hope on Stars In One, Dave Thomas' third and final final guest appearance of the season (and final appearance on SCTV).

Also featuring: John Hemphill, John McAndrew

1 Half Wits: Semi Finals 171

The exciting semi-final round. Alex starts by talking to the contestants. Arthur has been doing the usual. Wesley is in pain. Blanche is married. Lawrence has graduated from High School.

Alex explains the rules. Arthur and Wesley go first using the category 'Favorite Pets', but don't even guess. Blanch and Lawrence try their hand at the 'Frank Lloyd Wright' category but get it wrong. Arthur and Wesley fail to complete the round. They take a break to show the prize - a stereo record cleaner from RUSH the Brush People. Alex decides to flip a coin to see which team will go into the Lightning Round. Lawrence and Arthur both call heads. They are out of time. No score.

Alex Trebel - Levy; Wesley Wilks - Hemphill; Blanche Ray Kellogg - Martin; Arthur Andrew-Leggett - Flaherty; Lawrence Orbach - Short; Johnny Ola (announcer) - staff announcer

BUMPER "This is SCTV." Announcer - staff announcer

2 Commercial: The New Pet 165

A scary new movie about two women who have a new pet with lots of teeth. A policeman drops by to tell them dogs have gone missing in the neighborhood and a man's leg was mauled.

Mother - Martin; Essie - O'Hara; Policeman - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

3 PSA: Commercials are Coming to Pay TV 182

The merits of commercials coming to pay TV.

William Morris (Sweating Weasel) - Thomas; crew - extra

4 Happy Hour Part 1 165

Happy starts the show with the birthday wishes. Mike is watching the fights.

Six Gun Justice Episode 6 "Going to Town" Part 1

Recap: The Wolf Gang, led by Slade Cantrell, is after Maggie Butterfield's Ranch because the Railroad is coming through. As the episode starts, Don and Cheaplaffs are being gunned down by Slade and Blackie. Fortunately, the only casualty is Cheaplaffs' hat. Don tells Cheaplaffs to head into town to get supplies, while Don will go to the Butterfield Ranch and warn them not to sell. Don suspects there might be radium on the property.

Don Mills - Levy; Cheaplaffs Johnson - Short; Slade Cantrell - Flaherty; Blackie - extra

Mike's trick of the day is to immobilize Happy's thumbs by putting beer bottles on them.

Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; Sammy the Goose - extra; announcer - staff announcer

5 Promo: Stars In One 181

Hope comments on James Coco.

Brock Linehan - Short; Bob Hope - Thomas

4a Happy Hour Part 2 165

Happy discusses Cheaplaffs Johnson's career. His real name was Emil O'Bradovich, but fellow performers named him Cheaplaffs during vaudeville days for his scene stealing antics. Happy has a picture of Cheaplaffs as he was found dead, from the book 'Hollywood Gomorrah'. Mike freshens Happy up and they show Part 2.

Six Gun Justice Episode 6 "Going to Town" Part 2

Cheaplaffs gets the supplies. Don convinces Maggie not to sell. Slade and Blackie arrive however, but then Cheaplaffs arrives and gets the drop on them. But Cheaplaffs forgot to get bullets. The Fight. The Wolf Gang wins and ties them up under a chandelier.

Don Mills - Levy; Cheaplaffs Johnson - Short; Slade Cantrell - Flaherty; Blackie - extra; Maggie Butterfield - Martin; shop owner - John McAndrew

Last call, so Happy says farewell.

Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; Sammy the Goose - extra

6 Promo: Humanity The Final Days/Bobby Bittman: My Wacky World 176

A monumental two-hour documentary and Bobby Bittman's Wacky World, back to back. Clips of Bobby Bittman, Jackie Rogers Jr, Lorna Minelli and Sammy Maudlin from previous sketches.

Announcer - staff announcer

7 Stars in One: Bob Hope Part 1 182

Brock quizzes Hope about his youth, what kind of comedies he would like to do today, who he'd like to do them with, Vietnam, how he stays in shape, kiss and tell books.

Brock Linehan - Short; Bob Hope - Thomas

BUMPER "Stay tuned for more, on Stars In One." Announcer - staff announcer

8 Promo: Johnny Adee: The Untold Story 178

The story of the greatest ring announcer in boxing history.

Johnny Adee - John McAndrew; Johnny's Father - Flaherty; fighters, coaches etc - extras; announcer - staff announcer

7a Stars in One: Bob Hope Part 2 182

Hope discusses his latest project, a remake of The Greatest Story Ever Told, which he will direct.

Brock Linehan - Short; Bob Hope - Thomas

8 Promo: Stalag SCTV

Clip from Stalag SCTV. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 7 Stalag SCTV with Fred Willard
Airdate: 14 February 1984

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Scripts are being stolen from SCTV, and new guy Fred Winston is the likeliest suspect. Highlights include Al Peck's Dinosaur Days and Lewis Does Dylan.

Also featuring: John Hemphill

1 Promo: Happy Hour 169

Mike shows a neat bar trick, and Happy invites us to join him this week for Six Gun Justice.

Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; Sammy the Goose - extra; announcer - staff announcer

2 Spy Wrap Part 1: Guy's Office 172

The end of the day and Guy lies back to think of what to do. He considers going to a Wet T-Shirt contest, hanging out at the 7-Eleven.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; chicks, cop, punks - extras

3 The Great Escape 172

The taping of Brock's new pilot is stopped by Prickley because the script's been stolen by another network.

Brock Linehan - Short; Edith Prickley - Martin; contestants - extras; assistants - extras; crew - extras

2a Spy Wrap Part 2: Guy's Office 172

Guy finally decides to see Yentl but no one will go with him. Prickley goes to Guy's office to tell Guy they've been ripped off. Prickley figures there's a spy at the station. Guy conceives of a plan to turn the station into an armed camp.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Edith Prickley - Martin; staff - extras; Bill Cullen - John McAndrew

4 Commercial: Lewis Sings Dylan 172

Jerry Lewis sings "It Ain't Me Babe", "Subterranean Homesick Blues", "Blowing In the Wind", "Like a Rolling Stone" and others.

Jerry Lewis - Short; Jerry's Ma - Short; announcer - staff announcer

2b Spy Wrap Part 3: SCTV Dormitory, Low Life Wing 172

Vic Hedges gets cabin fever. Fred Winston, a young bootlick from the copy room, agrees to go see Yentl with Guy.

Vic Hedges - Flaherty; Brock Linehan - Short; Yolanda Devillbis - Martin; Fred Winston - Fred Willard; Ed Grimley - Short; Earl Camembert - Levy; Perini Scleroso - Martin; Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Gus Gustofferson - Levy; Guy Caballero - Flaherty

BUMPER "This is the SCTV Channel." Announcer - staff announcer

5 Commercial: Al Peck's Dinosaur Days 181

Al Peck's moving (obsolete) hardware (as opposed to software). Osborne computers, 8 tracks, pin-ball, pong. "Dinosaur deals at prehistoric prices." And no song and dance.

Al Peck - Levy

2c Spy Wrap Part 4: Guy's office, copy room 172

The spy grabs the scripts for a new pilot and xeroxes them.

Spy - ?

2d Spy Wrap Part 5: SCTV Cafeteria 172

It's been a week since Guy and Fred saw Yentl, an Guy and Fred are getting along real well; Fred takes advantage by conceiving a new variety show featuring himself.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Edith Prickley - Martin; Fred Winston - Fred Willard; Perini Scleroso - Martin; Earl Camembert - Levy; Ed Grimley - Short; Happy Marsden - Hemphill; guards, diners - extras

6 Promo: The Fred Winston Show 173

Variety like you've never seen before. In depth interviews, musical guests, and fun with the studio audience.

Fred Winston - Fred Willard; Joan Baez - Martin; Lonnie Cruz - Levy; Flying Nun - Martin; Andre Gromiko, Sir Paul Scoon, audience member - extras

2e Spy Wrap Part 6: SCTV Dormitory, Low Life Wing 173

A new bed and other amenities have arrived for Fred in the dormitory. The others suspect him of being the spy, so they beat him up. Gus breaks it up. Later in the night, Happy Marsden is caught red-handed phoning in some scripts.

Vic Hedges - Flaherty; Brock Linehan - Short; Yolanda Devillbis - Martin; Fred Winston - Fred Willard; Ed Grimley - Short; Earl Camembert - Levy; Perini Scleroso - Martin; Gus Gustofferson - Levy; Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Fred Winston - Fred Willard; miscellaneous staff - extras

2f Spy Wrap Part 7: SCTV Cafeteria 173

Happy Marsden reveals the terrible secret that allowed him to be blackmailed. Guy finds a lesson in this experience, but interrupts his speech when Fred enters. Fred starts a speech of his own, but flubs his line and calls for his line. However, all the scripts are missing. Turns out this show has also been stolen by Showtime.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Fred Winston - Fred Willard; Ed Grimley - Short; Earl Camembert - Levy; Edith Prickley - Martin; Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; diners, crew - extras; alternate Guy Caballero - David Flaherty; alternate Fred Winston - John LeFebvre

7 Promo: Stars In One

Clip from the Libby Wolfson show. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 8 Diary of a Female Person / Happy Hour
Airdate: 28 February 1984

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Happy Hour shows another episode of Six Gun Justice, and Brock Linehan features Libby Wolfson's struggles to produce her new film.

Additional Viewing: Stop Julio Iglesias is a spoof of a famous anti-litter PSA from the 70s.

Syndication Note: Message from Guy was cut from syndication.

Also featuring: John Hemphill

1 Message from Guy: Commemorative Plates

Guy pleads for cash, showing footage of a recent trip to Cinemax.

Clip: Guy's visit to Time Life

Guy's trip to New York to unsuccessfully plead for money from Cinemax.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Receptionists, cameraman - extras; President of Cinemax - extra

As a result of the unsuccessful trip, Guy is offering commemorative plates.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty

2 Promo: Just For Fun

Clip from Just For Fun. Announcer - staff announcer

3 Stars In One: Libby Wolfson 177

Brock goes behind the scenes of the production of Libby Wolfson's movie and interviews its writer-director, Libby. We then see the 13th screening of the film.

Clip: L'Insignificance: Diary of a Female Person

Libby Wolfson's Bergmanesque take on the problems confronting woman in the modern world.

Libby Wolfson - Martin; Woman in focus group - Wilcox; Other female persons - extras; Shoe salesman - extra

Libby stops the screening. Brock sums up - the film has still not been released, and Libby, having gained 100 pounds, is at a spa still obsessively re-editing.

Libby Wolfson - Martin; Brock Linehan - Short; Eileen - extra; psychiatrist - extra; crew - extras; nurse - extra

4 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Modern Problems 167

The Count has a co-host, the Pittsburgh Midget, who's brought Modern Problems (Mars Needs Women was held up at customs). 3D glasses are only 5.95.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Steve, The Pittsburgh Midget - Paul Flaherty

5 Promo: Soren-Weiss Report

Clip from the Soren-Weiss Report. Announcer - staff announcer

6 Happy Hour Part 1 170

Birthday wishes. Mike's watching the 20 Minute Workout. Mike's put up some drawings the kids sent in.

Six Gun Justice Episode 7 "A Date With Tojo" Part 1

The wheel spokes miraculously fall between Don, Maggie and Cheaplaffs, loosening the ropes. Slade and Cantrell find a secret map in the Butterfield deed, and hurry back to the Butterfield Ranch.

Don Mills - Levy; Cheaplaffs Johnson - Short; Slade Cantrell - Flaherty; Blackie - extra; Maggie Butterfield - Martin

Trick of the day: Happy can't break an egg in one hand. It's physics, claims Mike.

Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; Sammy the Goose - extra; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER "This is SCTV, your comedy channel." Announcer - staff announcer

7 PSA: Stop Julio Iglesias 175

An Indian in Vegas mourns the passing of the great crooners who have been supplanted by Julio Iglesias. "It's Not Too Late"

Indian - Short; Announcer - Flaherty; Gamblers, misc - extras

6a Happy Hour Part 2 170

Happy reads a letter from a kid who's favorite character is Don Mills. Happy talks about Don Mills' life. His real name was Geraldo Marquez. Things went bad for him. Happy shows a picture of Geraldo, from Hollywood Gomorrah, dead in his Murphy bed, which slammed shut on him one night.

Six Gun Justice Episode 7 "A Date With Tojo" Part 2

Don, Cheaplaffs and Maggie are eating grub and discussing the mine. Blackie and Slade arrive, and are jumped when they enter. The Fight. The Wolf Gang wins. Cheaplaffs stumbles across the entrance to the mine "real convenient-like". Slade and Blackie tie up Cheaplaffs, Don and Maggie in the mine. Don gives a stirring speech. Slade and Blackie grab the radium and blow up the explosives Don, Cheaplaffs and Maggie are sitting on.

Don Mills - Levy; Cheaplaffs Johnson - Short; Slade Cantrell - Flaherty; Blackie - extra; Maggie Butterfield - Martin;

It's last call once again, so Happy signs off.

Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; Sammy the Goose - extra

8 Promo: Black Like Vic

Clip from Black Like Vic. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 9 Black Like Vic
Airdate: 13 March 1984

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Vic Arpeggio returns in the hard-hitting expose of caucasian-type hate, Black Like Vic, the 1962 broadcast complete with original commercials. One of the best of the series. Also features the return of afternoon talk show Just For Fun.

Also featuring: John Hemphill

1 PSA: The Nursery School Association of America 178

Rusty spends a day in a nursery school to find out what it's all about.

Rusty Van Reddick - Short; teacher - extra; Rusty's mother - Martin (clip from Stars In One profile in Series 5); kids - extras; announcer - staff announcer

2 Just For Fun: Trudeau, Buckley, Gandhi Part 1 175

Stan gets a jump start from a blonde. Today's topic is nuclear proliferation.

Stan Kanter - Levy; Marsha - extra; Blonde - extra; Husband - George Buza; audience - extras

3 Promo: Black Like Vic

Clip from Black Like Vic. Announcer - staff announcer

2a Just For Fun: Trudeau, Buckley, Gandhi Part 2 175

Stan brings out all of his guests at once and gets them talking nuclear proliferation. Stan throws a curve - the missiles are in the air, what beautiful woman would they want to spend their last ten minutes with? He gets Indira and Pierre to do an improv. Pierre checks out the blonde.

Stan Kanter - Levy; Pierre Trudeau - Short; William F Buckley - Flaherty; Indira Gandhi - Martin; Blonde - extra; Husband - George Buza; audience - extras

SCTV Special Presentation Intro 176

"And now, an SCTV special presentation. Tonight, another episode of Vic Arpeggio Private Investigator, as originally seen in 1962, complete with commercials." announcer - staff announcer

4 Vic Arpeggio Private Investigator: Black Like Vic Part 1 176

Bubba Scruggs hires Vic for protection - Bubba's father was killed two weeks ago and he's worried he'll be next. However, Vic has to do the job disguised as a black butler. Vic travels down to Georgia by bus.

Vic Hedges as Vic Arpeggio - Flaherty; Montgomery Clift as Bubba Scruggs - Short; Viola - extra; Northerners at the bus stop - extras; bus travelers - extras; announcer - staff announcer

5 Commercial: Dumont Color Television 176

Milton Berle demonstrates the Dumont Color Television's features. "Quality at its best"

Milton Berle - Levy; second banana - extra; announcer - staff announcer

4a Vic Arpeggio Private Investigator: Black Like Vic Part 2 176

Vic wakes up at Bubba's. The Sheriff drops by. Bubba gets blown up. The Sheriff gives Vic 12 hours to get out of town.

Vic Hedges as Vic Arpeggio - Flaherty; Montgomery Clift as Bubba Scruggs - Short; Hank the Sheriff - Levy; Ivy Scruggs - Martin

6 Commercial: Old Gold Cigarettes 176

Roger's doctor recommends Old Gold.

Roger Bannister - Short; Doctor - Levy; announcer - staff announcer

4b Vic Arpeggio Private Investigator: Black Like Vic Part 3 177

Vic confronts Ivy with the murder, but then she gets shot. Vic is then confronted with the real Bubba. Vic decides to write a book about his experience.

Vic Hedges as Vic Arpeggio - Flaherty; Montgomery Clift as Bubba Scruggs - Short; Sheriff - Levy; Ivy Scruggs - Martin; deputies - extras; Viola - extra

7 Promo: Happy Hour

Clip from Happy Hour. Announcer - staff announcer

 

6 - 10 Youth, Do they Give a Damn or What? / Happy Hour
Airdate: 27 March 1984

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Soren and Weiss try to figure out what's up with the youth of today, while Don and Cheaplaffs have further adventures on Happy Hour. Also features a trio of commercials (directed by Paul Flaherty) with Sophia Loren, who keeps branching out into new businesses.

Additional Viewing: The Ramblers are a spoof of Canadian 60s folk quartet The Travellers.

Also featuring: John Hemphill

1 Sermonette: Edith Prickley on Depression 161

Edith has some words about depression, including an anecdote about Pierre Trudeau. She shows an old home movie.

Clip: Home Movie of Edith Depressed

Edith Prickley - Martin

Edith then sings "Accentuate the Positive" with the Prickettes.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Prickettes - extras

BUMPER "Accentuating the positive, this is SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

2 Promo: Murray's File/Dialing for Dollars 161

Clips of Murray's File: Canadian Television and Dialing for Dollars with Earl Camembert hosting. While Murray's File did appear in show 11, the Dialing for Dollars sketch is not featured in any episodes.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer

3 Commercial: Sophia Bath Oil 170

The finest oil from Italy, good and thick. The man in your life will love you for it. "It's good oil." (Essentially an update of the Oil of Oil commercial.)

Sophia Loren - Martin; The man in her life - extra; doorman, photographer - extras

4 Commercial: The Ramblers Greatest Hits 163

Those voices of turbulent protest who guided us through the sixties are back ("Rover", "I'm Going Down With the Ship", "Ricky Tippy Tin", "Jimmy Jo", "Bottle of Wine", "Cliff the Magic Squirrel").

The Ramblers - Short, Levy, Flaherty, Martin; announcer - Levy

5 Soren-Weiss Report: Youth, Do They Give a Damn or What? 164

An SCTV News Special Report. Troy and Joel try to find out where kids are at today, compared to when they were teenagers. They rap with some of the students at Melonville Collegiate. They talk to the guidance counsellor, who is a self confessed song and dance man, the principal, and Floyd Robertson, who advises the youth of today to not get stuck in a rut like he did (marrying too young). On a scale of 1 to 10, Joel gives the youth of today a 7, while Troy gives them a 3.

Troy Soren - Short; Joel Weiss - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Larry Preston the Guidance Counselor - extra; Luigi Dispilatro the Principal - extra; announcer - staff announcer; Kids - extras

BUMPER "Still beaming its two-cents worth, this is SCTV." Announcer - staff announcer

3a Commercial: Sophia Meatball Hut 170

When meatballs are your passion, 24 hours a day.

Sophia Loren - Martin; The man in her life - extra; doorman, photographer, customers - extras

6 Happy Hour Part 1 174

It's jobs day. Mike's watching the roller-derby.

Six Gun Justice Episode 8 "Last Chance for the Allies" Part 1

The shock of the explosion loosened the ropes. Maggie heads back to the ranch. Don and Cheaplaffs saddle up. Slade and Blackie jump Maggie when she arrives. Don and Cheaplaffs are camping in bear country. Don sings a song:

What's a cowboy to do
When he's feeling sad and blue.
He sings a happy song
For all who ride along
The dusty trail,
The dusty trail.

They are attacked by Indians, who were put up to it by Slade. They head back to the ranch.

Don Mills - Levy; Cheaplaffs Johnson - Short; Slade Cantrell - Flaherty; Blackie - extra; Maggie Butterfield - Martin; Indians - extras

Happy's Happy Topic is film editing. Happy demonstrates how to use a splicing machine.

Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; Sammy the Goose - extra; announcer - staff announcer

3b Commercial: Sophia Muffler Hut 170

When mufflers are your passion. Sophia has branched out too far.

Sophia Loren - Martin; The man in her life - extra

6a Happy Hour Part 2 174

Happy discusses Maggie Butterfield and how Don likes her. Apparently, everyone liked the actress who played her, Vera Collins. Happy's got her book "Way Too Much Too Soon", and shows pictures of the football team and her most recent picture.

Six Gun Justice Episode 8 "Last Chance for the Allies" Part 2

At the Butterfield ranch, Slade, talking on the phone with Tojo, is interrupted by Don and Cheaplaffs. The Fight. The Wolf Gang wins again. Slade and Blackie tie up our heroes, and pour honey around. Slade and Blackie leave. The honey attracts a bear.

Don Mills - Levy; Cheaplaffs Johnson - Short; Slade Cantrell - Flaherty; Blackie - extra; Maggie Butterfield - Martin; bear - extra

Last call has come around again.

Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; Sammy the Goose - extra

7 Promo: New York Actors production of Harvey

Clip from Harvey. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 11 Allenscam with Catherine O'Hara
Airdate: 10 April 1984

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Features several wraparound elements, including an unfolding scandal involving Brad Allen, artist Willem DeCooney never quite being interviewed on three shows, and new character Rita Schubb in three separate short bits. Also includes Harvey, as done by the New York Actor's Studio, Mel's Rock Pile returns to the psychedelic sixties, while Murray Shulman savages Canadian television.

Syndication Note: Murray's File and Mel's Rock Pile were excluded from syndication.

Additional Viewing: The 1950 classic Harvey starring Jimmy Stewart, and pretty much any movie directed by Martin Scorsese. Mel's Rock Pile features the psychedelic middle section of Time Has Come Today by the Chambers Brothers.

Also featuring: John Hemphill, Jayne Eastwood

1 Commercial: Long Distance 182

Phone old friends you haven't seen in years. "We're your phone company"

Tony McKay - Flaherty; Tony's wife - Jayne Eastwood; Lenny - Levy; Lenny's wife, dinner guests - extras; announcer - staff announcer

2 Books In Brief: Ken Follett175

Rita almost reviews Ken Follett's latest book.

Rita Schubb - Martin; announcer - extra

3 Newsbreak: Allenscam 175

Earl has a story on suspected corruption related to the building of the Melonville Art Dome. Brad Allen has been indicted. Brad is unflappable.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Bradley P Allen - Short; Mrs Allen - extra; press - extras

4 Promo: Harvey 164

A bold new experiment - the New York Actors' Television Theatre production, directed by Martin Scorsese. Elwood is talking to Harvey when Carmine, his older brother catches him. Elwood tries to discuss Harvey with his mother, who doesn't understand. Carmine has Elwood taken in to get a lobotomy.

Al Puciero as Elwood - Short; Tony Labergiole as Carmine - Flaherty; Philomena Chichi as Mother - Martin; Vince Gabagoo as an orderly - extra; Orderly - extra; Teach Latrello as Harvey - extra; announcer - staff announcer

2a Books In Brief: Willem DeCooney 175

Rita almost talks with Willem DeCooney.

Rita Schubb - Martin; Willem DeCooney - John Hemphill; announcer - extra

5 Murray's File: Canadian Television In the American Market

Murray tries to find out what's wrong with Canadian television. He rakes the cast of Headline Challenge over the coals. He tries to find out what Phillip Marks does. None of them can remember anything Sondra Wicks has done.

Clip: Headline Challenge (R5)

Clip of Headline Challenge from Series 5.

Murray puts a hypothetical question to them. Note: Austin McGrath has passed on.

Murray Shulman - Levy; Dougall Currie - Levy; Sondra Wicks - Martin; Phillip Marks - Flaherty; Lionel Napier-Humphries - Short; Dougall Currie's double - extra; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER "This is SCTV." Announcer - staff announcer

6 Scrapco Presents Artisans and Their Art: Willem DeCooney 175

Brad's guest is artist Willem DeCooney. But first, Brad addresses the scandal involving him currently in the news. He shows a tape of the FBI's evidence against him, which he believes proves his innocence.

FBI Film: Brad Allen Sting

Brad Allen and Lyle are filmed accepting bribes.

Bradley P Allen - Short; Lyle Gaffer - extra; FBI Agents - extras

They're out of time.

Bradley P Allen - Short; Willem DeCooney - John Hemphill; announcer - staff announcer

7 Mel's Rock Pile: Psychedelic Sixties Part 1

Today's show, a look back to 1969, and to get started, a song from that era (Time Has Come Today by the Chambers Brothers). The yuppies attending the rock pile can't get into the song, so Mel shows a clip from 1969.

Clip: Mel's Rock Pile 1969

The hippies can't get into the music Mel's playing (Time Has Come Today by the Chambers Brothers). He talks to Moon Dog.

Mel Slirrup - Levy; Moon Dog Ferguson - Flaherty; Blake Campbell - Bruce Pirrie; hippies - Martin, extras

Mel talks to Moon Dog, now Ted Ferguson (he denies it), regional manager for Smith and Wesson. Mel almost talks to Willem DeCooney, but has to go to a break.

Mel Slirrup - Levy; Ted Ferguson - Flaherty; Willem DeCooney - Hemphill; Blake Campbell - Bruce Pirrie; dancers - Martin, extras

8 Newsbreak: Rita Schubb 175

Rita almost provides a news update.

Rita Schubb - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

7a Mel's Rock Pile: Psychedelic Sixties Part 2

Mel shows another clip from 1969.

Clip: Mel's Rock Pile 1969

Mel drinks some spiked water and talks to a guy from Pittsburgh (Blake Campbell). The Tangerine Conspiracy play a song. Drum solo. Mel starts to freak out.

Mel Slirrup - Levy; Moon Dog Ferguson - Flaherty; hippies - Martin, extras; Blake Campbell - Bruce Pirrie; Tangerine Conspiracy: Lead Vocal - O'Hara; Drummer - Short; band - Roger Dunn, extras

Mel's embarrassed. He chats with Blake Campbell, the local pharmacist. Mel then chats with their special guests, the original Tangerine Conspiracy, now called Happiness Unlimited; they've been playing the Driftwood Inn in town. They play a song. Mel has flashbacks.

Mel Slirrup - Levy; Ted Ferguson - Flaherty; Blake Campbell - Bruce Pirrie; dancers - Martin, extras; Tangerine Conspiracy: Vocal: Melissa Humphries - O'Hara; Drummer: Chuck Humphries - Short; band - extras

6 - 12 Oliver Grimley
Airdate: 24 April 1984

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Cheryl Kinsey does a live show, while Oliver Grimley, directed by Paul Flaherty, wouldn't look out of place on Masterpiece Theatre. Can anyone explain the Sammy Maudlin promo? Where is the actual show?

Syndication Note: Melonville Calendar was excluded from syndication.

Additional Viewing: David Lean's 1948 movie of Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist.

Also featuring: John Hemphill, Joe Grifasi, John McAndrew, Patrick Sinclair

1 Promo: Loving, Learning and Letting Go with Dr Cheryl Kinsey 166

Cheryl's new live special at the ballroom of the Statler Hilton. Featuring a therapeutic lecture, pop songs with suggestive lyrics ("Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"), helping people overcome shyness with hypnotic suggestion, and Johnny Carson routines.

Cheryl Kinsey - Martin; Otis Fluker - Marcus O'Hara; audience - Gene Mack, extras; band - extras

2 SCTV Family Classic: Oliver Grimley Part 1 162

Oliver is thrown out of the Parish orphanage and into the hands of the Artful Dodger, who takes him to Fagin.

Ed Grimley as Oliver - Short; Sid Dithers as Fagin - Levy; Tommy Lasorda as The Artful Dodger - Joe Grifasi; Apple salesman - extra; Orphan master - Patrick Sinclair; orphans - extras; Londoners - extras; pickpockets - extras; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER "Where comedy is classic. This is SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

3 Commercial: Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Bankruptcy Sale 174

Weep no more for Edna, Edna's free at last. Like Joan of Arc, she's hearing voices, and the voices are saying everything must go.

Edna Boil - Martin; voices - staff announcer

4 Promo: 2009 Jupiter and Beyond

Clip from 2009. Announcer - staff announcer

2a SCTV Family Classic: Oliver Grimley Part 2 162

Fagin takes Oliver into the streets to train him in the art of being a cutpurse. Oliver takes a turn, but things go wrong when he tries to pick the pocket of the orphan master. In the dock, they are saved at the last moment by Oliver's father, just arrived from San Francisco.

Ed Grimley as Oliver - Short; Sid Dithers as Fagin - Levy; Tommy Lasorda as The Artful Dodger - Joe Grifasi; Orphan master - Patrick Sinclair; Londoners - extras; pickpockets - extras; Mr Grimley - Flaherty; Judge - John McAndrew; announcer - staff announcer

5 Commercial: Salt Buddy 164

"When you need a friend to cover for you."

Husband - Flaherty; Wife - Martin; Salt Buddy - Hemphill; announcer - staff announcer

6 Promo: SCTV Channel - Daytime, News and Variety 167

"We've got it all." Clips from Half Wits, The Date Debate, Soren-Weiss Report, Nightline Melonville, One On the Town, People's Global Golden Choice Awards.

Guy Caballero 'Be there' - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

7 Melonville Calendar: Sandler and Young

Joined already in progress. Yolanda's guest is Idella Voudry, Community Artist Series Program Director, who managed to get Sandler and Young for this year's series. Sandler and Young come out. Yolanda's bewildered - she doesn't know who they are. Sandler and Young do an a cappella version of "Real Live Girl" in their own inimitable style.

Yolanda Devillbis - Martin; Idella Voudry - Wilcox; Tony Sandler - Short; Ralph Young - Levy; announcer - staff announcer

8 Promo: The Sammy Maudlin Show: Just For Kids 168

Clips from Sammy's next show, with guests Mrs Falbo, Happy Marsden, and that guy from the CBC. (A very odd promo; either the actual sketch was dropped from later shows, or this promo is the sketch but was badly edited, because it doesn't make any sense as a sketch itself.)

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Happy Marsden - Hemphill; Mrs Falbo - Martin; Lionel Napier-Humphries - Short; Toy guy - John McAndrew; announcer - staff announcer

Credits

6 - 13 2009, Jupiter and Beyond
Airdate: 8 May 1984

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A semi-classic, and a highlight of the Cinemax series. Worth it for Levy's devastating Ernest Borgnine alone. The Making of 2009 is icing on the cake, with some very funny scenes of 2009 director Woody Tobias.

Additional Viewing: 2009 is an entertaining amalgam of 2001 (obviously) and the campy 1958 film Queen of Outer Space, with some Marx Brothers gags thrown in. In fact, it's much more Queen than 2001 - the plot, costumes, sets and props (excluding the monolith), even the disintegrator are lifted right from the film. Most of the scenes as well, including the interrogation, the chase in the palace, the make-out and spider scenes in the cave... and the 50's babes.

Syndication Note: Which Way You Running Johnny? was excluded from syndication.

Also featuring: John Hemphill, Mary Charlotte Wilcox

1 Message from Guy: 2009 179

Guy's real excited about the world premiere of 2009, the authorized version.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty

2 Promo: SCTV Channel - Movies 177

"We've got it all." Clips from Slinky the Toy from Hell, Scenes from an Idiot's Marriage, Prickley Heat, Das Boobs. Ed Grimley 'Be there, y'know' - Short; announcer - staff announcer

3 2009 Jupiter and Beyond: The Authorized Version 179/180

Psychedelic opening, from the end of 2001. Irving Cohen is in the surreal room, eating, sleeping, aging.

Opening Credits

Edie wakes Irving from his dream to watch the blast off on the radio-eye.

Art, Paul and Ernest blast off, get caught in a force field and crash land on Neptune. They are captured by Amazons and taken to Queen Izera, who sentences them to death. As they are taken to the disintegrator, they are freed by rebels. They make out with the rebels. Major is attacked by a spider. The Monolith lands in their midst, and pursues them back to the Queen's palace, where the final confrontation takes place.

Closing Credits (Music: Eumir Deodato's version of Richard Strauss' "Also Sprach Zarathustra", sped up almost 1.5 times)

Irving Cohen - Short; Edie - extra; Art Garfunkel as Rooster - Flaherty; Paul Simon - Short; Ernest Borgnine as Major - Levy; Idella Voudry as Queen Izera - Wilcox; Monolith - extra; Women - extra; Chick in the credits - Martin

BUMPER "Stay tuned as SCTV goes behind the scenes for the making of 2009." Announcer - staff announcer

4 Promo: Which Way You Running, Johnny?

A man runs away from home to find himself on his own terms, on the streets, in a world where he doesn't seem to fit in.

Father - extra; Mother - extra; Johnny - Hemphill; Hooker - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

5 The Making of 2009: Jupiter and Beyond 180

A behind the scenes look at the making of a blockbuster. We get to see director Woody Tobias Jr directing crucial scenes, his power struggle with Idella Voudry for control of the film, and the Wrap Party.

Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Irving Cohen - Short; Idella Voudry - Wilcox; Linda Gains - extra; Announcer - staff announcer; crew - extras

6 Promo: Happy Hour

Clip from Six Gun Justice. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 14 Half Wits/Save the World Parade
Airdate: 22 May 1984

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Troy Soren and Joel Weiss cover Melonville's annual environment-oriented parade, while Half Wits reaches the exciting championship round.

Syndication Note: Save the World Parade and Monster Chiller Horror Theatre were cut in syndication.

Also featuring: John Hemphill

1 Melonville Save the World Parade Part 1

Joel and Troy are getting ready for the 4th annual Save the World Parade. Joel talks to some of the people in the crowd.

Troy Soren - Short; Joel Weiss - Levy; Melonvillonians - extras; announcer - staff announcer

2 Half Wits: Championship Part 1 182

Alex chats with the contestants - Wesley Wilks and Arthur Andrew-Leggett, still facing off against Blanche Ray Kellogg and Lawrence Orbach. The prize is 1500 bucks.

Alex Trebel - Levy; Wesley Wilks - Hemphill; Blanche Ray Kellogg - Martin; Arthur Andrew-Leggett - Flaherty; Lawrence Orbach - Short; Johnny Ola (announcer) - staff announcer

3 Commercial: Shangri La Dance Studio 179

Dance lessons, clean instructors, home dance instruction, located in rooms 8, 9 and 11 at the Driftwood Inn.

Pimp - Hemphill; Dance instructors, students - extras

2a Half Wits: Championship Part 2 182

Alex explains the new rules, established to ensure a winner - the contestants make up their own categories. Wesley's category is Things That Smell, while Arthur's is Different Balls. Needless to say, Blanche and Lawrence can't get any answers, so Alex awards Blanche and Lawrence 50 points because Arthur and Wesley's categories were so bad.

Lawrence's category is American History, which stumps Wesley. As Blanche wasn't even able to think of a category, they are penalized 50 points, and the buzzer sounds. No score.

Alex Trebel - Levy; Wesley Wilks - Hemphill; Blanche Ray Kellogg - Martin; Arthur Andrew-Leggett - Flaherty; Lawrence Orbach - Short; men in white coats - extras

BUMPER "The Pittsburgh midget joins Count Floyd, later tonight on SCTV." Announcer - staff announcer

1a Melonville Save the World Parade Part 2

The parade is under way. The Nuclear Dumpsite float. Troy and Joel are disappointed by the floats so far. Boring. They have a snack. The Red Scare float. They discuss Russian artists.

Troy Soren - Short; Joel Weiss - Levy; Melonvillonians - extras; announcer - staff announcer

4 Promo: Myra: Story of a Small Town Gypsy 162

A documentary about a woman in a small southern town who claims to be Queen of the Gypsies.

Myra Tyler - Martin; Mr Tyler - extra; Nurse - extra; announcer - staff announcer

1b Melonville Save the World Parade Part 3

They have audio difficulties. Troy descends to street level, but has problems getting down the rope ladder to the booth.

Troy Soren - Short; Joel Weiss - Levy; handsome sound man, crew - extra; Melonvillonians - extras; announcer - staff announcer

5 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Halloween Always Falls on Friday the 13th Part 1

The Pittsburgh midget has rented a VHS tape for the show. They start the tape. It's a first person perspective of a maniac terrorizing a local tv station. At first, Floyd's excited about finally showing a scary film. However, he starts to get fed up with the POV thing and starts fast forwarding through the film.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Steve, The Pittsburgh Midget - Paul Flaherty

6 Promo: Canadian Gaffes and Practical Amusements

Clips from Gaffes and Practical Amusements. Lionel Napier-Humphries "Be there, eh" - Short; announcer - staff announcer

5a Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Halloween Always Falls on Friday the 13th Part 2

They've fast forwarded to the end of the film.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Steve, The Pittsburgh Midget - Paul Flaherty

1c Melonville Save the World Parade Part 4

Troy and Joel talk to this year's parade chairman, Luigi Dispilatro. The parade ends. They rate the parade: Joel gives it a 2, Troy gives it -400.

Troy Soren - Short; Joel Weiss - Levy; Melonvillonians - extras; Luigi Dispilatro - extra; announcer - staff announcer

6 Promo: Happy Hour

Clips from Six Gun Justice. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 15 Jackie Rogers Jr for President/Happy Hour
Airdate: 5 June 1984

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The wraparound features Jackie Rogers Jr's run for president, while Six Gun Justice's penultimate episode airs on Happy Hour. Jayne Eastwood returns as moderator for Philosophers at work.

Syndication Note: Philosophers at Work was cut in syndication.

Also featuring: John Hemphill, Jayne Eastwood, Mary Charlotte Wilcox

1 Promo: Philosophers at Work

The philosophers discuss why bad things happen to good people, who is the luckiest white man, and James Bond.

Host: Greta Kubler Cooke - Jayne Eastwood; Clive Bushy - Levy; Bernard Adler - Flaherty; Acidophilus Abalafia - Short; announcer - staff announcer

2 Commercial: Jackie Rogers Jr for President 171

Jackie Rogers Jr throws his hat into the political arena, announcing his intention to run for president of the United States, including Puerto Rico, which works out because his lady has a home there. "He Loves You."

Jackie Rogers Jr - Short; announcer - staff announcer

3 Melonville Calendar: PMSAW Week 173

Yolanda runs down the list of events for Pre-Menstrual Syndrome Awareness week. To start off PMSAW Week, Idella and Duard dramatize a few situations.

Sketch: PMS Situations

Mrs Jones is irritable, and visits her doctor.

Duard Weese as Mr Jones and the Doctor - Flaherty; Idella Voudry as Mrs Jones - Wilcox

Duard can't stop laughing.

Yolanda Devillbis - Martin; Duard Weese - Flaherty; Idella Voudry - Wilcox

4 Promo: Grimley Celebrity Fairie Tayles

Clips from Ed's Fairy Tale. Ed Grimley "Be there" - Short; announcer - staff announcer

2b Commercial: Jackie Rogers Jr for President 171

Jackie discusses the issues, including the cold war, acid rain, deficit spending, and race relations. "At Least Sleep On It."

Jackie Rogers Jr - Short; announcer - staff announcer

5 Happy Hour Part 1 178

Mike's watching horse races. The birthday crawl and then straight into Six Gun Justice. Happy explains that episode 9 was never sent to them, so they're showing episode 10.

Six Gun Justice Episode 10 "East Meets West" Part 1

Don, Cheaplaffs and Maggie survive being shocked in the bathtub. Don and Cheaplaffs pursue the Wolf Gang back to their camp, where they are meeting with Tojo. Don and Cheaplaffs overhear their plans. The Wolf Gang and Tojo head back to their new seat of power, the Butterfield Ranch. Don, Cheaplaffs and Maggie get on the train.

Don Mills - Levy; Cheaplaffs Johnson - Short; Slade Cantrell - Flaherty; Blackie - extra; Maggie Butterfield - Martin; General Tojo - extra

Today's Happy Topic: physics. Mike's bet Happy he can't stand next to a wall and lift up the outer foot without falling over.

Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; Sammy the Goose - extra; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER "This is SCTV, bringing you programming whose time has come." announcer - staff announcer

2c Commercial: Jackie Rogers Jr for President 171

Jackie talks to some working Americans. "You should remember him on November 6th, you should."

Jackie Rogers Jr - Short; Worker - Flaherty; workers - extras; announcer - staff announcer

5a Happy Hour Part 2 178

Today's favorite character - Slade Cantrell. His real name was Myron Posy-Panko, an Englishman. There's nothing about him in Hollywood Gomorrah, so they look at the Cheaplaffs Johnson picture again.

Six Gun Justice Episode 10 "East Meets West" Part 2

At the White House, Don, Cheaplaffs and Maggie inform the President, who has a plan. Slade, Blackie and Tojo are preparing the Butterfield Ranch when our heroes arrive. The Fight. The Wolf Gang wins again. They tie up the heroes and head out, leaving Don, Maggie and Cheaplaffs to be bombed by their own bombers.

Don Mills - Levy; Cheaplaffs Johnson - Short; Slade Cantrell - Flaherty; Blackie - extra; Maggie Butterfield - Martin; General Tojo - extra; President - Flaherty

Mike is suspicious of Happy's cheque.

Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; Sammy the Goose - extra

6 Commercial: Manny's No-Frill Pentagon Surplus Store 181

Great deals on Pentagon spare parts, but not at Pentagon prices.

Announcer - staff announcer

7 Commercial: Military Industrial International / Sparey Corporation 181

Money well spent is the best defense.

Pitch man - extra; announcer - staff announcer

8 SCTV News Update: Jackie Withdraws 171

Jackie Rogers has withdrawn from the presidential race. Earl briefly reviews Jackie's campaign and then talks with Jackie live via satellite from Caesar's Palace. Jackie claims he decided to withdraw after receiving a call from Wayne Newton offering him an eight-week run in Vegas. Jackie has a song for his supporters, and falls in the pool.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Jackie Rogers Jr - Short; Ladies - extras; band - extras; announcer - staff announcer

9 PSA: A Melonville Moment 163

Melonville celebrities pay a musical tribute to the birds of Melonville ("The Birds have Something to Eat In Melonville"). Brought to you by the Melonville Chamber of Commerce.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Troy Soren - Short; Joel Weiss - Levy; Happy Marsden (on the set of Happy Hour with Sammy the Goose and Mike) - Hemphill; Idella Voudry - Wilcox; Yolanda Devillbis - Martin; Duard Weese (driving a drunk home) - Flaherty; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; announcer - staff announcer; drunk - extra

6 - 16 Celebrity Fairie Tayles/Canadian Gaffes and Practical Amusements
Airdate: 19 June 1984

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Celebrity Fairie Tayles features the unlikely pairing of Alan Alda and Ed Grimley, while Canadian Gaffes features the gang from Headline Challenge in another brutal parody of the CBC that often approaches the moribund tediousness of the real thing. Features a series of three 'Medical Minutes,' which echo 'Got a Minute' from Series 3.

Notes: The closing credits feature a still shot from a sketch not actually in the show, with John Hemphill against a backdrop that says "Gil Leonard's All Talk Live!"

Also featuring: John Hemphill, Nancy Dolman

1 Message from Guy: British Programming 166

Guy's been getting letters from viewers who want British programs. Guy's got a clip from a program that's left over after PBS grabs the good stuff.

Clip: You Be the Host

Jonathan discusses dreams with Betty, a waitress at a tea shop.

Host: Jonathan Davie - Flaherty; Betty - Martin; studio audience - extras; announcer - staff announcer

In short, Guy's not getting any British programs.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

2 A Medical Minute: Losing Weight 164

Dr Thurman has advice about losing weight.

Dr Ryne Thurman - Hemphill; announcer - staff announcer

3 Ed Grimley's Celebrity Fairie Tayles: Alan Alda 166

Ed tells the Story of the Fella Who Was the Size of Someone's Thumb.

Tale: The Fella Who Was the Size of Someone's Thumb

Ed is tormented by his brothers. The only one who is kind to him is Florissa, who Ed loves, but won't marry him, because of the height thing. Ed's Fairy Godfather shows up to grant Ed a wish, so Ed wishes to be a regular sized person. However, he forgets to ask for regular-sized clothing, and is thrown in prison for public nudity.

Ed Grimley as the Little Fella - Short; Raymond - Levy; Brother - Hemphill; Florissa - Nancy Dolman; Alan Alda as the Fairy Godfather - Flaherty; Ken - extra; Burt and Leon - extras; townspeople - extras

Ed discusses the moral and introduces his guest, who wrote the fairy tale, Alan Alda. Alan discusses the tale and prison reform.

Ed Grimley - Short; Alan Alda - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

2a A Medical Minute: Exercise 164

Dr Thurman has advice about exercise.

Dr Ryne Thurman - Hemphill; announcer - staff announcer

4 Canadian Gaffes and Practical Amusements Part 1 160

The first edition. Dougall explains practical amusements and gaffes. His first guest is Sondra Wicks. They look at the first practical amusement, played on the devilishly handsome Phillip Marks.

Practical Amusement: Doorbell

Dougall rings Phillip's doorbell and hides. Over and over again.

Dougall Currie - Levy; Phillip Marks - Flaherty

They bring out Phillip Marks and discuss the practical amusement.

Dougall Currie - Levy; Sondra Wicks - Martin; Phillip Marks - Flaherty; audience - extras; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER

5 Promo: Happy Hour

Clips from Six Gun Justice. Announcer - staff announcer

4a Canadian Gaffes and Practical Amusements Part 2 160

They watch the next practical amusement.

Practical Amusement: Talking Trash Can

Lionel hides in a trash can and speaks to passers-by.

Lionel Napier-Humphries - Short; CBC crew - extras; passers-by - extras

Lionel comes out to discuss the practical amusement. They move on to the gaffe portion of the program. Phillip has a surprise clip featuring Dougall.

Gaffe: Dougall Currie

Dougall passes wind.

Dougall Currie - Levy

Dougall is appalled that they showed this clip.

Dougall Currie - Levy; Sondra Wicks - Martin; Phillip Marks - Flaherty; Lionel Napier-Humphries - Short; audience - extras; announcer - staff announcer

2b A Medical Minute: Stress 164

Dr Thurman has advice about stress.

Dr Ryne Thurman - Hemphill; announcer - staff announcer

6 Melonville Calendar: Rotary Week 178

Yolanda runs down the week's events. Her guest is vice-chairman of the Rotary Club. He's brought along the new sign welcoming visitors to Melonville, complete with the original wrong spelling.

Yolanda Devillbis - Martin; Wib Switzer - Hemphill

7 Promo: You're On

Clip from You're On. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 17 You're On / Happy Hour
Airdate: 3 July 1984

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Happy Hour presents the exciting conclusion to Six Gun Justice, and host Happy Marsden makes a surprising confession. The show also features and another episode of the oddly-paced You're On, while over at SCTV News, Earl retires and Floyd shows up in his Count Floyd costume. Heavily padded with promos.

Syndication Note: You're On was once again cut from syndication.

Also featuring: John Hemphill

1 Promo: SCTV Channel - Edith Prickley 182

Clips from A Melonville Moment, Janitors strike, Live at the Melonville Baths, at Studio 54 with Pierre Trudeau, Tracking the Unknown, and the lugeing clip ('the only threat to the Germans at the Olympics') from the Great White North Palace wraparound. 'Edith Prickley can do it all, on SCTV.'

Pierre Trudeau "Edith!" - Short; Edith Prickley - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

2 You're On Part 1

Max discusses his recent proposal for an exclusive shopping mall.

Max Lansky - Levy; announcer - staff announcer

3 Happy Hour Part 1 183

The birthday crawl. Mike's watching National Geographic.

Six Gun Justice Episode 11 "Toe to Toe With Tojo" Part 1

The bomb is a dud. Don chats with Maggie about their future. Meanwhile, Blackie calls Slade on the fact that he doesn't use adverbs. Slade wings Blackie. Blackie and Slade have to return to the ranch to recover some ceremonial objects they forgot for Tojo. Don and Cheaplaffs jump the Wolf Gang when they arrive. The Fight. The good guys win! Don rides off to confront Tojo.

Don Mills - Levy; Cheaplaffs Johnson - Short; Slade Cantrell - Flaherty; Blackie - extra; Maggie Butterfield - Martin; General Tojo - extra

Mike doesn't have a magic trick.

Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; Sammy the Goose - extra; announcer - staff announcer

4 Promo: SCTV Channel - A Salute to the Oscars 164,179

Clips from An Officer and a Gentile, Chariots of Eggs and Indira live at the Ackron Arena (here called 'Terms of Indira'). Announcer - staff announcer

3a Happy Hour Part 2 183

Today's character is Happy's favorite, Blackie, who's real name is Merle Marsden Sr. Happy gets a bit emotional.

Six Gun Justice Episode 11 "Toe to Toe With Tojo" Part 2

Don confronts Tojo and gives a stirring speech about being an American. Tojo and Don fight. They are interrupted by a phone call. Don decks Tojo. The President gives a radio address with Cheaplaffs, Don and Maggie. Don sings "Dusty Trail".

Don Mills - Levy; Cheaplaffs Johnson - Short; Slade Cantrell - Flaherty; Blackie - extra; Maggie Butterfield - Martin; President - Flaherty; Tojo - extra; backup singers - extras

Next week, a new serial "Rocket Man Versus the Martians". Happy signs off as Merle Marsden Jr.

Happy Marsden - John Hemphill; Mike the Bartender - Mike Short; Sammy the Goose - extra

BUMPER "Stay tuned for a tribute to Earl Camembert on his final newscast, later tonight on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

2a You're On Part 2

Max gets a call about snow plowing. He then gets a call from a poor person about the shopping mall. Max discusses his recent trip to the Bahamas.

Max Lansky - Levy; caller 1 - extra; caller 2 - extra

5 Promo: SCTV Channel - Music 177,185

"We've got it all." Clips of Slim Whitman and Barbara Streisand, Perry Como, Jerry Lewis from previous shows. Guy Caballero 'Be there' - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

2b You're On Part 3

Max gets a call about the USFL. He then gets a call from a guy supporting the mall - this guy has to go all the way to Meckling to get a wig like Max's.

Max Lansky - Levy; caller 1 - extra; caller 2 - extra; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER "Comedy at its best - this is the SCTV Channel." announcer - staff announcer

6 SCTV News: Earl Retires 184

Floyd is late getting back from a taping of Monster Chiller Horror Theatre. Earl announces his retirement - he's going to lend his name to a line of clothing. Floyd arrives, causing a bit of a ruckus - he's loaded.

Floyd and Earl read the news. Floyd explains his tardiness - Jim the sound man is leaving MCHT. Floyd gives a stirring farewell speech - to Jim the sound man, and heads off to the party at the Driftwood.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson / Count Floyd - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

7 Promo: Pledge Week

Clips of Pledge Week. Announcer - staff announcer

6 - 18 Pledge Week/The Steve Bashekis Story with Catherine O'Hara
Airdate: 17 July 1984

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Lola Heatherton returns, joining a small host of other SCTV celebrities to help out SCTV's second pledge drive.

Additional Viewing: The Steve Bashekis Story features scenes from Of Human Bondage with voices over-dubbed, similar to the final episode of Series 3, The Cisco Kid.

Syndication Note: This entire episode (except for the SCTV Classics promo) was excluded from syndication.

Also featuring: Catherine O'Hara

1 Promo: SCTV Channel - Classics 166

"We've got it all." Clips from Oliver Grimley, Harvey and Black Like Vic. Announcer - staff announcer

2 Pledge Week Part 1

Guy and Edith introduce Pledge Week, and the film they'll be showing. SCTV is flat broke.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Edith Prickley - Martin

3 Movie: The Steve Bashekis Story Part 1

Steve tells his friend he wants to run for Senator. They take a cab.

Les Lonigan as Steve Bashekis - Flaherty; Friend - Martin; Cab driver - Short

2a Pledge Week Part 2

Bobby and Jackie do some schtick for the cause. They introduce Lola Heatherton. She discusses her recent stint at the Betty Ford institute. Lola sings a number about this man's world, and she sings it for herself, mostly. A bit of anger surfaces.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Jackie Rogers Jr - Short; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara

3a Movie: The Steve Bashekis Story Part 2

Steve discusses music and politics with the Professor over dinner. They have some problems with the waitress.

Les Lonigan as Steve Bashekis - Flaherty; Waitress - Martin; The Professor - Levy

2b Pledge Week Part 3

Libby and Troy are disturbed by the lack of calls. They discuss the lack of alternatives to SCTV.

Libby Wolfson - Martin; Troy Soren - Short

3b Movie: The Steve Bashekis Story Part 3

Steve is at a cafe with his friend. He checks out the waitress, Betty.

Les Lonigan as Steve Bashekis - Flaherty; Bette David as Betty - Short; friend - Levy

4 Pledge Week Promo: Music, Sitcoms, and Late Night

"We've got it all." Clips from The Ramblers, We Got A Maid, Maudlin O the Night. Sammy Maudlin 'Be there' - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

2c Pledge Week Part 4

The Count and Woody critique the film. Woody acts as devil's advocate. They're offering an album by Ed Grimley for pledges over 60 dollars. Ed shows his concept album "Did She Call?". He sings a bit of the title track.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Ed Grimley - Short

3c Movie: The Steve Bashekis Story Part 4

Steve, the waitress and Dicky go to dinner to try to get her to bank roll them. But she's broke. Steve goes and discusses his campaign with the Professor.

Les Lonigan as Steve Bashekis - Flaherty; Bette David as Betty - Short; Dicky Dee - Levy; The Professor - Levy; daughter - Martin

2d Pledge Week Part 5

Pledge Week has been a bust. 111 bucks. Guy gives a stirring speech about the lesson he's learned from this. They get a call - but it's from his mistress. Guy takes off. Edith gives a final stirring speech.

And so SCTV ends, fittingly with Guy and Edith begging for cash. Guy and Edith would return in The Best of SCTV.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Edith Prickley - Martin