SERIES 3 - SCTV

Robin Duke | Joe Flaherty | Eugene Levy | Andrea Martin | Rick Moranis | Tony Rosato | Dave Thomas

Series 3

Director: John Blanchard
Head Writers: Joe Flaherty, Dave Thomas
Writers: Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Mike Short
Producer: Patrick Whitley

SCTV Best of the Early Years DVD
* on the Best of the
Early Years DVD

1 (53) Lee A Iacocca's Rock Concert
2 (54) Thursday Night Live *
3 (55) Death of a Salesman
4 (56) My Factory, My Self *
5 (57) Death Motel *
6 (58) The Lone Ranger Show
7 (59) Play It Again, Bob *
8 (60) Gaslight *
9 (61) Man's Ability to Imitate
10 (62) Mel's Rock Pile
11 (63) The Sammy Maudlin Show *
12 (64) Hugh Betcha's Night Gallery
13 (65) Star Wars

14 (66) Hollywood Salutes Its Extras *
15 (67) The Irwin Allen Show *
16 (68) Big Brother *
17 (69) Two Way TV / Pit Bulls *
18 (70) Alpha Channel
19 (71) Midnight Express Special *
20 (72) Cookery Crock / Cartoon Coroner
21 (73) The Mating Game
22 (74) Gene Shalit's America
23 (75) Mel's Rock Pile: Richard Harris
24 (76) Dick Cavett *
25 (77) The Cisco Kid
26 (78) Best Of

From the people who brought you the most popular TV show in syndication, it's SCTV! Yes, SCTV, brainchild of a group of dissident TV viewers, regular joes like you and me, but sharing an extraordinary dream, to do their own show, to spread laughter and good cheer to TV viewers everywhere, and to gain a little fame and recognition for themselves. But wouldn't you know it, there were foreigners who had never heard of SCTV. The message was clear - somehow they had to reach the rest of the world. But how? They launched their own satellite! The SCTV Satellite System, beaming their laughter and good cheer to peoples all over the world. In Europe! In Asia! And even the tiny Republic of Togo! Yes, SCTV is in the air!
Narrator - Thomas

Sitting in the cafeteria, the SCTV cast come up with a way to reach more people. And so, for series 3, so that people all over the world could throw their televisions out the window, SCTV launched the SCTV Satellite System.

sctvcast_season3

After Series 2 finished, Global dropped the show, and it took more than a year for the producers to get it back in production -- the new deal involved moving production to the Edmonton studio of the station financing the show. In the meantime, John Candy left to do Big City Comedy, Catherine O'Hara took time off, and Eugene Levy and Andrea Martin only did the show part-time. Robin Duke and Tony Rosato from The Second City Toronto stage show, and Rick Moranis were brought in to fill out the cast. To top it off, Joe Flaherty suddenly left towards the end of the shooting, returning after shooting finished to record a set of improvised solo bits to make up for it. Despite this seemingly confused situation, the quality of the shows is first rate.

Robin excels at slightly seedy characters such as Molly Earle and Spike the lesbian, while Tony, who appeared in bit parts in several Series 2 episodes, caps a fine series with a memorable performance as Lou Costello in Midnight Express Special. But it is Rick Moranis, with a seemingly endless supply of great bits, who would have the strongest impact on the show, not least because of the McKenzie Brothers. Finally, John Blanchard, the staff director at the Edmonton facility, rises to the occasion; the production values increased again, giving the show a professional look, and the parodies extra realism. John ended up staying with SCTV for the rest of its run.

Series 3 features a several series-long gags, including 5 different Taxi Drivers, four different talk shows produced by Carson producer Freddie de Cordova, and the ever-shrinking time slot for Bill Needle's Mail Bag.

Best of the Best: My Factory, My Self; Play It Again, Bob; Big Brother; Midnight Express Special

3-1 Lee Iacocca's Rock Concert
Airdate: 19 September 1980

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Anchored by Lee A Iacocca's late-night rock show. The show that introduced the McKenzie brothers. Started almost accidentally to mock Canadian content rules, the brothers would catch on with the masses. Dave Thomas' book refers to The Great White North as Kanadian Korner in this series and the first cycle of Series 4, a convention maintained here. He also numbers the shows, and as there are gaps in the numbering, presumably some Kanadian Korners never aired. According to Dave, he and Rick would just sit down and tape a whole bunch at a time, and use the best ones.

Additional Viewing: Imogene Coca played opposite Sid Caesar on Your Show of Shows in the early 50s. Lee A. Iacocca was the CEO of Chrysler the first time they went out of business and the government bailed them out. Rhoda was a mid-70s Mary Tyler Moore Show spinoff sitcom starring Valerie Harper. Annie Hall, the 1977 smash hit Woody Allen film.

Syndication Note: The News Teaser was dropped

OPENING

1 Message from Prickley: Rock Concert

Prickley welcomes us to another fine year at SCTV, introduces herself ("I replaced that schmo Moe Green"), and invites us to stay tuned.

Edith Prickley - Martin

2 Promo: Rhoda

Rhoda's running a clinic, and she's lost weight.

Rhoda - Martin; Clinic workers - Duke, Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer

3 Promo: My Fair Lady

The Professor finds Perini a tough nut to crack. They sing the "Rain In Spain" bit.

Perini Scleroso as Eliza Doolittle - Martin; Professor Henry Higgins - Flaherty; Colonel Pickering - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer

4 Teaser: SCTV News

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty


5 Kanadian Korner 1: Introductory Show

They had to change the name to Great White North for legal reasons. They have new boots.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

6 SCTV News: Earl's fumblemouth

Togo blames quake on CIA. Earl has trouble delivering his items.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

7 Promo: My Life-One More Time 100

Woody finds someone he can relate to.

Woody Allen - Moranis; Female Woody Allen - Martin; Woody's friend - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer


8 Lee A. Iacocca's Rock Concert

Lee asks for 1.5 billion dollars in government assistance, encourages watchers to harass their congressmen, complains about government regulations. He then introduces Ringo's new band Rings ("Cause I know That You'll Always be True"). Lee offers a five dollar rebate and his personal guarantee to every viewer, and intros Gino Vinelli ("Stop"). Lee introduces his daughter Imogena and intros Slim and Barbara ("You Don't Bring me Flowers"). Lee once more urges viewers to write the government, and intros George Carlin. Finally, Lee introduces Tony Orlando and sings a duet with him ("Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round a Dodge Omni"). Lee makes a final pitch.

Lee Iacocca - Thomas; Ringo Starr - Moranis; Gino Vanelli - Levy; Imogena Iacocca - Duke; Barbara Streisand - Martin; Slim Whitman - Flaherty; Tony Orlando - Rosato; George Carlin - Moranis; Announcer - staff announcer; Gino's band - extras

3-2 Thursday Night Live
Airdate: 26 September 1980

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DVD Early YearsThursday Night Live nails both Saturday Night Live and Fridays, the SNL rip off. Features the first appearance by both Walter Cronkite and David Brinkley, in their very first two-hander. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf was also spoofed in Mind Games from series 2.

Additional Viewing: Saturday Night Live and ABC's SNL competition Fridays; K-Tel fast talking Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf is based on the 1966 film Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, starring Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor (also featured in Mind Games); Dat's Da Name of Dat Tune is a spoof of 70s cop show Baretta, starring Robert Blake; the tune in question is the theme from Baretta, while S.W.A.T. was another cop show on at the time (thanks Markshark).

Syndication Note: Fast Talking Playhouse was moved to 3-4 (56); Crazy Crafts (first show) from 3-3 (55) was added

DVD Note: The end credits music has been changed to the Ira Newborn Cycle 2 theme, obscuring Cronkite's rambling monologue.

OPENING

1 Message from Guy: Thursday Night

Guy carps about the plant in his office, and introduces SCTV's new hip relevant comedy show.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Announcer - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer

Announcement: Little House Across the Mersey

Announcer - Moranis

2 Thursday Night Live

Live from Edmonton, it's SCTV's hip relevant new comedy show, hosted by Earl Camembert. Lots of whooping and hollering, drug references, and bad language.

Guest Host: Earl Camembert - Levy; Jill Ellen Charney - Martin; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Announcer - Moranis; Marty Kleinberg - Rosato; Lisa Richards - Duke; John Laxo - Thomas; Sam Giannomelli - Moranis; Innumerable other cast members - Dick Blasucci, Gail Kerbel (Anna Stern), Paul Flaherty, extras; crew, whooping audience - Soccer player (Wally), Paul Flaherty, Bev Schectman, same extras


3 Kanadian Korner 2: Doug's got his earmuffs on 115

Doug misses the start of the show because his earmuffs are on. [Great White North]

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

4 Promo: Dat's da Name of Dat Tune

Funky contestants name funky tunes.

Host: Robert Blake (Baretta) - Rosato; Chick - Martin; Dude - extra; announcer - staff announcer

5 Promo: Bittman Does Dallas 123

Bobby sings ("Abeline"), gives a stirring speech ("Remember the Alamo!"), and dances with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. "How are ya, y'all!"

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders - extras; Announcer - Moranis

6 K-Tel's Fast-Talking Playhouse: Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Harvey K-Tel presents a 2 minute version of the classic play. They finish early.

Harvey K-Tel as George - Thomas; Barbara Streisand as Martha - Martin; Broderick Crawford as Nick - Flaherty; Sandy Duncan as Honey - Duke

7 Promo: Guy Friday

Guy works for one of the most powerful women in business today. He's the man behind the woman. Notes: Guy is flying Great White North Airlines.

Guy Friday - Moranis; Boss - Martin; Guy's friend - Thomas; Guy's coworker - Duke; office workers, airline worker - extras; announcer - staff announcer


8 Commercial: Half Legs 101

For the woman in you.

Joyce Dewitt ('Joyce Dehalfwit') - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer

9 Point/Counterpoint: Alcoholism

Cronkite and Brinkley discuss alcoholism. Walter runs a film of a Saturn 4 taking off.

Walter Cronkite - Thomas; David Brinkley - Moranis; Announcer - Moranis

Credits - [the same smooth jazz instrumental used for Lunchtime Street Beef in series 4]

3-3 Death of a Salesman
Airdate: 3 October 1980

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The premiere of SCTV Live Theatre features a star-studded cast in Death of a Salesman.

Syndication Note: Elvis 'n Costello was moved to 3-5 (57); Crazy Crafts was moved to 3-2 (54); Young and the Wrestling from 3-4 (56) and Howards Bristol Cream from 3-14 (66) were added

OPENING

1 Words to Live By: Rabbi Karlov

The Rabbi provides advice on dealing with gentile insults, and brings Angus out to demonstrate.

Rabbi Karlov - Moranis; Angus Crock - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer

2 Teaser: SCTV News

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy

3 Promo: Elvis 'n Costello

Songs and sketches with Elvis and Costello.

Lou Costello - Rosato; Elvis Presley - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer


4 Kanadian Korner 3: The French Problem

Separatism and back bacon.

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas

5 Commercial: Melba's Disco Jeans 109

Just zip them up and watch them dance for you. (Music is "Do What You Want To Do" by T-Connection.)

Melba the Disco Queen - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer; Cunningham - Rosato; Boss - Flaherty; Receptionist - Duke; Dancers - Rosato, Flaherty, Moranis, Thomas

6 SCTV News: Earl's film doesn't come up

Togo applies to come to Nebraska; Earl takes up the rest of the newscast smiling at the camera, waiting for the film of his bus race item.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy


7 Crazy Crafts: First Show

After 15 years off the air, Molly reviews some crafts from the past.

Molly Earle - Duke; Announcer - staff announcer

8 Message from Guy: Live Theatre

Guy blows away the cheap plant in his office, and introduces SCTV Live Theatre.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Announcer: Ricky Caballero, his son - Moranis


9 SCTV Live Theatre: Death of a Salesman

Death of a Salesman, live from the Melonville Theatre. Margaret Hamilton gets knocked out by an object resembling a late 20th century stage lamp, while John Belushi clears the house when a seed pops out of his joint and starts a fire. Guy swears off live performances.

Margaret Hamilton as Linda Loman - Martin; Ricardo Montalban as Willy Loman - Levy; George Carlin as Biff - Moranis; DeForest Kelly as Happy - Thomas; John Belushi as Ben - Rosato; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; audience - Dick Blasucci, extras; announcer - staff announcer

Credits - [unidentified blues instrumental] over which Guy announces live theatre will no longer be seen on SCTV

3-4 My Factory, My Self
Airdate: 10 October 1980

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DVD Early YearsMy Factory, My Self is an inspired sendup several big Oscar winning movies of the time, and the can-do attitude of their leading ladies. Also features the first Money Talks, hosted by the awkward Brian Johns, and Walter Cronkite takes over from Moe Green on Dialing For Dollars. End credits music for this episode is 'Drugs' by Talking Heads.

Additional Viewing: My Factory, My Self, starring 'Sally Jane Clayburgh-Streep', is a parody of An Unmarried Woman (Jill Clayburgh), Coming Home (Jane Fonda), Norma Rae (Sally Field), Kramer vs Kramer (Meryl Streep), with the nuclear reactor from The China Syndrome thrown in for good measure. The Young and the Restless, a long-running soap.

Syndication Note: The Young and the Wrestling was moved to 3-3 (55); Kanadian Korner 4 was dropped; Fast talking Playhouse from 3-2 (54) was added

OPENING

1 Promo: The Young and the Wrestling

Snapper challenges Jill's boyfriend.

Jill - Martin; Snapper - Moranis; Wrestler - Rosato; Announcer - staff announcer

2 Money Talks with Brian Johns: William Douglas

Brian interviews Mr Douglas at his fabulous Bel Air home. (Theme music is 'Money' by The Flying Lizards.)

Brian Johns - Levy; William E. Douglas - Moranis; Millious the butler - Thomas


3 Kanadian Korner 4: Calculators

Bob calls the show Kanadian Korner again, and explains they can't use that name unless they spell it with Ks. Doug gets the camera to zoom in. They are opposed to kids using calculators in school, 'cause they didn't get to.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

4 Promo: Make Me Barf

Contestants try to identify various objects without throwing up.

Host - Rosato; Mrs Armstrong - Duke; Announcer - staff announcer

5 Dialing for Dollars: My Factory, My Self Part 1

Walter Cronkite, replacing Moe Green as the host of Dialing for Dollars, introduces the feature and talks about his controversial exit from CBS. Walter makes a call to Ted Kennedy.

6 My Factory, My Self Part 1

Dolly is harassed by her supervisor (Mr Adamitus) at the nuclear powered textile factory. When she gets home, her husband Michael tells her he's leaving her. At the Veteran's hospital, where she volunteers, Biff encourages her to form a union.

Sally Jane Clayburgh-Streep as Dolly - Martin; Mr Adamitus - Rosato; Michael - Flaherty; Billy - Graham Stinson; Biff - Thomas; Factory workers - extras

Walter Cronkite - Thomas; Ted Kennedy - Flaherty


5a Dialing for Dollars: My Factory, My Self Part 2

Walter makes another call to a guy who's not to thrilled to hear from him.

6a My Factory, My Self Part 2

Dolly returns to the factory to form a union. While her mother Harriet gives an inspiring talk, an explosion rocks the factory, killing Adamitus. The workers unanimously elect Dolly to replace him.

Sally Jane Clayburgh-Streep as Dolly - Martin; Mr Adamitus - Rosato; Michael - Flaherty; Billy - extra; Hard of Hearing Harriet - Duke; Bob the worker - Moranis; Factory workers - Gail Kerbel, extras;

Walter makes some prank calls.

Walter Cronkite - Thomas; Grumpy guy - Moranis; Lady - Duke; Jose - Rosato

Credits - 'Drugs' by Talking Heads

3-5 Death Motel
Airdate: 17 October 1980

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DVD Early YearsMonster Chiller Horror Theatre features a rare solo venture for Woody Tobias Jr, and, unusually, an after-feature interview with Count Floyd.

Additional Viewing: In his introduction to Death Motel, Count Floyd describes how, when the film was in theatres, a bell would sound before the really scary parts - like an early warning system; in 1973, Eugene Levy and Andrea Martin starred in Ivan Reitman's Cannibal Girls, which used that exact gimmick. More at Canucksploitation. King of Kensington, starring Al Waxman, was a long-running sitcom on the CBC.

Syndication Note: Edna's Back was moved to 3-6 (58); Elvis 'n' Costello from 3-3 (55) was added

DVD Note: Edna Hymbecker no longer sings Killing Me Softly

OPENING

1 Sunrise Semester: Communicating In Italian with Marcello Sebastiano

Marcello instructs on basic hand gestures, looking at women and the evil eye.

Marcello Sebastiano - Rosato; Woman - Duke

2 Teaser: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Death Motel

Floyd plugs Death Motel.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

3 Commercial: Bubie's Chicken Medication

Chicken soup for all ailments, from Al's bubie.

Al Waxman - Moranis; Ma - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer


4 Kanadian Korner 5: Snow Chains

Doug has worked out the full two-part theme; he doesn't quite get around to the topic of snow chains.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

5 Commercial: Edna's Back from Ronco Records

Features "Killing Me Softly", "What Have They Done to my Face, Ma", "Make It an Open Casket, Cause I Might be Coming Back", "The Night They Drove Old Edna Down".

Edna Hymbecker - Duke; Announcer: Harvey K-Tel - Thomas

6 Promo: Danny Eubanks: Seminarian/Rookie Cop

Danny Eubanks is a seminarian who was training to become a priest, until his father got bumped off...

Danny Eubanks - Thomas; Seminarians - extras; Crook - Flaherty; Dispatcher - extra; Announcer - staff announcer

7 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Death Motel

Floyd introduces the film and plugs his 3D glasses (15.95, certified cheques only).

8 Death Motel Part 1

Young newlyweds arrive at the motel, where Bruno is the bell boy. As they get ready for bed they are being watched... Notes: the classic 3D sound effect!

Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Husband - Thomas; Wife - Martin; Motel Manager - Rosato

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer


7a Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Death Motel Part 2

Straight back to the movie.

8a Death Motel Part 2

Bruno arrives to turn down the bed and terrorizes the wife in the process. The husband goes for the manager, leaving Bruno with her.

Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Husband - Thomas; Wife - Martin

Count Floyd's guest is Woody Tobias Jr. They discuss Woody's father and his early career.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy

Credits - Death Motel theme

3-6 The Lone Ranger Show
Airdate: 24 October 1980

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Earl gets investigated on his own newsmagazine, while the Lone Ranger anchors the late night talk show.

Additional Viewing: The Phil Donahue Show ran for 26 years from 1970 to 1996. 60 Minutes and 20/20, the long-running investigative journalism TV shows on CBS and ABC respectively, are still going strong. The Lone Ranger Show, The Irwin Allen Show, Sea Talk and the Freddie de Cordova Show are all linked by the presence of producer Freddie de Cordova, the producer of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. The coffee pitch man is an impression of Robert Young, who was in a slew of decaf commercials at the time.

Syndication note: Message from Guy was moved to 3-20 (72); Edna Hymbecker record commercial from 3-5 (57) was added.

OPENING

1 Sunrise Semester: Conversational New Yorkese with Norman Gorman

Small dogs, Walter and Dorothy, and regular coffee.

Norman Gorman - Flaherty; Soccer player - Wally

2 Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: New Location

The Emporium has relocated. Tex and Edna bring back budgies from Brazil.

Tex Boil - Thomas; Edna Boil - Martin


3 Kanadian Korner 6: Back bacon and Snow Chains

Bob cooks some back bacon, while Doug's got snow chains on his feet. Doug gets the camera to zoom in.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

4 Promo: Donahue: The Pope

The pope answers to a higher order.

Phil Donahue (Donohue) - Thomas; Pope - Rosato; Woman asking about gogo dancers - Martin; Guy Friday - Moranis; Studio audience - extras

5 60/20

Earl hosts this hard-hitting investigative reporting program, and looks into the influence of television and the media. Earl talks to Dr. Angly from the state penitentiary, who figures it's the coffee Earl's drinking. He comes back two weeks later, and sure enough, Earl's got a better handle on things. Earl next interviews, detective Tulios, who blows him off. Jack Wallace turns the tables on Earl and takes over his show.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Dr. Robert Angly (Coffee Commercial pitch man) - Thomas; Detective Tulios - Rosato; cops - extras; Jack Wallace - Moranis; Announcer - staff announcer

6 Message from Guy: Satellite Orbit Decaying

Guy asks for money to help get the satellite back into its proper orbit.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Announcer - Thomas


7 PSA: Be a Foster Boss

Give a charlady a chance.

Perini Scleroso - Martin; Sally Struthers - Duke; Announcer - staff announcer

8 The Lone Ranger Show

The Ranger does his monologue; they do the 'Visitor from the East' bit; Kip Addotta comes out with sub-standard material, gets hog-tied and branded; Wishbone comes out and, just as he's about to reveal who's responsible for rustling cattle, takes an arrow. The Ranger rushes off to investigate. (Lone Ranger theme over credits)

Tanto - Flaherty; Lone Ranger - Moranis; Doc Watson - Rosato; Kip Addotta - Moranis; Wishbone - Thomas; Freddie de Cordova (Man in suit) - Flaherty; cattlemen - extras; announcer - Moranis

3-7 Play It Again, Bob
Airdate: 31 October 1980

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DVD Early YearsPlay It Again, Bob brings Woody Allen and Bob Hope together, with a little help from Bing Crosby. Clever, amusing, dead-on impressions, great premise, and plenty of one-liners.

Additional Viewing: Woody Allen's Play It Again, Sam

Syndication Note: SCTV News Teaser was dropped

DVD Note: The end credits music has been changed to the Ira Newborn Cycle 2 theme; the original had a recording of "Thanks for the Memories."

OPENING

1 Message from Prickley: Play It Again, Bob

Prickley promotes Play it Again, Bob, later tonight.

Edith Prickley - Martin

2 Promo: The Trial of Oscar Wilde

Wilde defends himself in court with sparkling wit.

Oscar Wilde - Flaherty; Prosecutor - Thomas; Judge - Moranis; Wilde's friend - Rosato; Audience - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

3 Teaser: SCTV News

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty


4 Kanadian Korner 10: Making Doug Go

Doug is asleep so Bob tries to make him go.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

5 Commercial: Roto Rooster

The amazing new way to unplug your drains. 'The drain brain'.

Roto Rooster - Rosato; Wife - Duke; Husband - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

6 SCTV News: Travel Tips with Earl

Earl has clips from his vacation in St Lucia, where he was pestered by the locals.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Amanda - extra; Beach bums, waiters, nightclub act - extras

7 SCTV Movie: Play It Again, Bob Part 1

Woody sees a Hope film and is inspired to give him a call. Hope happens to be in town doing a show with the Village People so they get together. Hope suggests some rewrites of Woody's script.

Woody Allen - Moranis; Bob Hope - Thomas; Anita Ekberg (voice only) - Martin; makeup - Bev Schectman; crew, moviegoers - extras; announcer - staff announcer


7a SCTV Movie: Play It Again, Bob Part 2

Woody realizes Hope has him writing a road picture and feels he's losing control. Bing Crosby appears to give Woody some encouragement and tips on handling Hope. Woody calls Hope to do 9 or 10 holes before breakfast, on him. But the golf game doesn't go so good. In the end, Woody goes with the flow.

"Stick with me and the only thing that will make you sick is standing on solid ground".

Credits - 'Thanks for the Memories' by Benny Goodman and his Orchestra with Ella Fitzgerald (edited and sped up slightly - thanks J Gray)

Woody Allen - Moranis; Bob Hope - Thomas; Bing Crosby - Flaherty; golfers - extras

3-8 Gaslight
Airdate: 7 November 1980

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DVD Early YearsAdditional Viewing: Cecil and Cynthia previously appeared in the Series 2-14 Alfred Hitchcock thriller 'Murder is Bad for Your Health'. This time they are in a parody of the 1944 film Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. The Dick Cavett Show, a long-running talk show in the 70s. Chick Monk is based on Chip Monck, lighting and sound man for many of the great bands of the 60's and 70's and MC at Woodstock.

Syndication Note: Kanadian Korner 8 was dropped; American Express from 3-22 (74) and Gordon Lightfoot from 3-18 (70) were added

OPENING

1 Sunrise Semester: Conversational Scottish with Angus Crock

Phrases of the day: 'Bob's your uncle', 'Can I Owe it to you, all I got's a fiver', 'Away w'ye', 'Wee beasties' and 'That's my marmalade'.

Angus Crock - Thomas

2 Promo: Chick Monk: Roadie Marriage Counselor

Chick helps a couple get it together, saves them from a falling speaker stack, and blows his amp.

Chick Monk - Rosato; Husband - Flaherty; Wife - Duke; Announcer - staff announcer


3 Kanadian Korner 8: Back Packing with Beer on Ski Trips

Doug has a tip on getting your beer through snow with skis.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

4 Dick Cavett: Dick Cavett 88

Dick's guest is Dick Cavett.

Dick Cavett - Moranis; Dick Cavett - Moranis; Announcer - staff announcer

5 Gaslight Part 1

Cecil and the low-class maid are after Cynthia's jewels, and have a plan to drive her insane, but decide to speed up the process a bit.

Buster Ricasoli as Cecil - Flaherty; Pumpsie Greene as Tessie the Maid - Duke; Lucy Poupougian as Cynthia - Martin


5a Gaslight Part 2

Cecil and the maid have trouble knocking Cynthia off.

Buster Ricasoli as Cecil - Flaherty; Pumpsie Greene as Tessie the Maid - Duke; Lucy Poupougian as Cynthia - Martin; Inspector - Rosato; cop - extra; Good-looking Young Chap - Thomas

6 Sermonette: Father Raoul Wilson 144

Raoul discusses the uplifting potential of some magazines.

Raoul Wilson - Levy; announcer - staff announcer

3-9 Man's Ability to Imitate
Airdate: 14 November 1980

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Features the first Comment segment from David Brinkley, as well as the first Cooking With Marcello. Sea Talk is another in a series of Freddie de Cordova-produced talk shows, and Kip Addotta once again meets an ignominious end.

Additional Viewing: Sea Hunt, starring Lloyd Bridges, the syndicated TV show that ran from 1958-1961.

Syndication Note: the News Teaser was dropped

OPENING

1 Sunrise Semester: Man's Ability to Imitate with Mr Wilcox 86

Ed Sullivan (shrug the shoulders) and Jimmy Stewart (forget what you are about to say), together.

Mr Wilcox - Moranis

2 PSA: Concerned Children for Truth In Advertising

A kid notes the discrepancy between commercials and real life.

Kid - extra; Father - Rosato; Mother - Duke; announcer - staff announcer

2a Rebuttal: National Organization to Reinstate Cigarette Advertising

People really do smoke and drink while hot air ballooning.

advertising mouthpiece - Thomas; smokers enjoying active lifestyles - extras; announcer - staff announcer

3 Teaser: SCTV News

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty


4 Kanadian Korner 17: Snowshoes for Spatulas

What to do when you are out in the open and you forgot your spatula, for flipping the back bacon.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

5 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: The Odd Couple 147

Floyd plugs this week's film, The Odd Couple, where there's a neat guy and a messy guy...who drinks blood!

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Stage Hands - extras, Wally (Soccer Player)

6 Promo: Sea Talk 102

Streisand's nose harpoons a passing Bermuda Chubb, Kip Addotta's air supply runs out, and Lloyd stabs himself.

Lloyd Bridges - Thomas; Barbara Streisand - Martin; Kip Addotta - Moranis; Freddie de Cordova (Man in suit) - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer; voiceover - Moranis

7 SCTV News: Earl Plugs Products

Fire at ice pick factory. Soviets deny invading Yemen. Earl's items are blatant plugs for products (Tootsie Roll, Hertz). Floyd ends up doing him one better.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

8 Comment with David Brinkley: Viletones

Brinkley (looking a little rough) reviews a Viletones concert.

David Brinkley - Moranis; Announcer - staff announcer


9 Promo: The Invisible Man 96

Gerry Brown stars as the (partially) invisible man in this Francis Ford Coppola production.

Gerry Brown - Thomas; Linda Ronstadt - Duke; Professor - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer

10 Cooking With Marcello: Lobster Cacciatore

Marcello plugs his book about pizza folding. He tries to cooks up some lobster cacciatore. The lobsters escape.

Marcello Sebastiano - Rosato

3-10 Mel's Rock Pile
Airdate: 21 November 1980

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SCTV's dance program, hosted by Mel Slirrup, takes its final form as Mel's Rock Pile. Also features the very first Merv Griffin Show.

Additional Viewing: Participaction was Canadian government program to encourage Canadians to exercise more. Learn more at the Participaction Archives.

Syndication Note: Participaction was moved to 3-11 (63); TotaControl from 3-11 (63) was added

OPENING

1 Promo: Shakespeare in the Park

Norman has problems with the set, and a punk in the audience.

Hamlet: Norman Gorman - Flaherty; Soccer player - Wally; punk, audience - extras; announcer - staff announcer

2 Cheryl Kinsey, Traveling Sexologist

Cheryl, on a surprise house call, helps out some newlyweds with technique.

Cheryl Kinsey - Martin; Husband - Thomas; Wife - Duke; announcer - staff announcer


3 Kanadian Korner 19: Boom Shadows, Stuff that Bug Us

They show the boom microphones and boom shadows. They give up on their other topic.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

4 Promo: The Merv Griffin Show: Arafat, Liberace, Ferigno

Coat linings, terrorism, Merv does a number with Liberace, Loni's breasts, Hulk's make-up.

Merv Griffin - Moranis; Yasser Arafat - Flaherty; Liberace - Thomas; Loni Anderson - extra; Lou Ferigno - Rosato; Lou's makeup assistant - Duke

5 Message from Guy: Viewer Mail

Guy reads some letters, flogs some souvenir coins.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Announcer - Thomas

6 PSA: Participaction 89

Come on Canada, it's time to get active.

Peeping tom - Rosato; Woman - Martin; Drunks - Thomas, Moranis; Woman with purse snatched - Duke; punk, cop, bystanders - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

7 Promo: Flashing Eyes

Chuck grills a marathon runner and takes another shot at Gerry Brown; Mandoza comes back as a marathon swimmer. Notes: Theme music by ELP; this show is a sequel to Fourth Degree.

Chuck Clark - Flaherty; Miss Mandoza - Martin; Gerry Brown - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer


8 Mel's Rock Pile: Speed of Light 137

Mel looks at the top ten, gets down ("It's All Over" - Ohio Players), and talks to some of the kids (the Bloughs, all unrelated), while Speed of Light backs out of their gig. Notes: Mel has perfected his classic dance stance; the classic theme and set.

Mel Slirrup - Levy; Joe Blough from Greenback High - Rosato; Frank Blough from Greenback - Moranis; Jim Blough from Greenback High - Flaherty; Lou Blough - Dick Blasucci; Shy Girl - Duke; Singer from Speed of Light - Thomas; dancers - extras; announcer - staff announcer

3-11 The Sammy Maudlin Show
Airdate: 28 November 1980

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DVD Early YearsBob Hope spoils Bobby Bittman's routine when he walks on to The Sammy Maudlin Show to promote his latest special.

Additional Viewing: Taxi Driver, Martin Scorsese's 1976 classic; Bob Hope on the Road to China, Hope's 1979 TV special.

Syndication Note: Taxi Driver was moved to 3-17 (69); TotaControl was moved to 3-10 (62); Participaction from 3-10 (62) was added

OPENING

1 Sunrise Semester: Glamour with Veronica Swansong

Veronica has an ambitious young director to keep her feeling glamorous.

Veronica Swansong - Duke; Director - Moranis; Crew - extras; Nurse - extra; announcer - staff announcer

2 Message From Prickley: The Sammy Maudlin Show

Prickley promotes Sammy Maudlin.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer


3 Kanadian Korner 11: Miracle of Back Bacon

Doug takes over, gets the crew to join in on the theme, and tells the story of the miracle of back bacon.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

4 Promo: Stretch Your Arm 110

Contestants have their arm stretched for big money.

Host - Thomas; Contestant - Flaherty; Charlene - Duke

5 Ronny Barrett's Sports

Ronny has the latest gossip about sports figures.

Ronny Barrett (Rona Barrett) - Rosato; announcer - staff announcer

6 Promo: Taxi Driver with Gregory Peck

Gregory Peck is looking at you this season on SCTV.

Gregory Peck - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

7 Commercial: TotaControl

Control all your household appliances with one handy device. Notes: early inspiration for Gerry Todd, perhaps.

Husband - Moranis; Wife - Duke; kids - extras; announcer - staff announcer; firemen, pizza guy - extras

8 Message From Guy: Announcer screws up

The announcer flubs the announcement.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Giddy Announcer - Thomas


9 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bob Hope in China

(Already in progress.) Bobby's routine, which was bombing anyway, is interrupted when Bob Hope makes a surprise walk on to plug his new special, "I Owe Peking 2000 Dollars". He brought some outtakes.

Outtakes: The Making of I Owe Peking 2000 Dollars

Hope and his writers pitch some jokes to the Chinese.

Bob Hope - Thomas; Hope's writers - Moranis, extras; Chinese - extras;

Hope takes off, Bittman gets up to continue his routine, and Danny Thomas walks on.

Credits - Bittman calls to complain to Caballero

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Danny Thomas - Rosato; Announcer - staff announcer; Shy girls - extras

3-12 Night Gallery
Airdate: 5 December 1980

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In the definitive Crazy Crafts, Molly's guest shows how to make a bingo drop can. Hugh Betcha, last seen hosting Insights in Series 2, returns with Night Gallery.

Additional Viewing: Night Gallery, the horror anthology TV series hosted by Rod Serling; The Tomorrow Show, the eclectic late night interview show hosted by Tom Snyder, which followed Carson in the 70s.

Syndication Note: SCTV News Teaser was dropped; the running order was shuffled around as well (Tom Snyder and Kanadian Korner switched).

OPENING

1 Crazy Crafts: Bingo Drop Cans

Molly welcomes May Sparks, bingo player extraordinaire, who demonstrates the Bingo Drop Can.

Molly Earle - Duke; May Sparks - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

2 Teaser: SCTV News

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty


3 Kanadian Korner 13: Name that Smoke

Doug's invented a game.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

4 Promo: Tom Snyder MD

Tom talks his way through crises.

Tom Snyder - Thomas; Injured man - Rosato; Wife - Martin; Snyder's assistant - Moranis; bystanders - extras; announcer - staff announcer

5 SCTV News: Earl on roller skates

Earl tries to make the newscast more hip. Lead item: Togo taunts Soviet Union. Earl accuses Floyd of not being young and hip.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

6 Grizzly Abrams

Grizzly gets into trouble and his turtle goes for help.

Grizzly Abrams - Thomas; Doctor - Flaherty; Pepe - Moranis; Keith - Rosato; Announcer - staff announcer


7 Hugh Betcha's Night Gallery

Bob buys a record that takes him into the nightmare world of Night Gallery.

Host: Hugh Betcha - Flaherty; Bob Shmenge - Rosato; Brenda the date - Duke; Husband - Thomas

8 Signoff: The National Anthem

Mel sings the American anthem, sort of:

Oh say can you seebadeebadeebadeebadee
By the dawn's early
Pardon me boys, is that the Chattanooga choo choo
I've got my share and the travel to spare
Oh once I built a railroad, made it run
Kept it running on time, running on time
Once I built a railroad, now it's done
Brother can you spare a, brother can you spare a
Rockets red glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still
Tall and tan and young and lovely,
The girl from Ipanema goes walking,
And when she passes our flag was still there
Oh say does that star spangled babadabadanner ye-et wa-a-a-ve
For the land of the freepers creepers, where'd you get those peepers
Jeepers creepers, where'd you get that
Home of the most beautiful girl in the world.
Picks my tie up, she eats my candy, she drinks my brandy
In the home of the BRAVE!

This is followed by the Canadian anthem, as selected by Bob and Doug, a medley including Oh Canada, the GWN theme, Anne Murray, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Lorne Greene, Stompin' Tom, Maple Leaf Forever (listen here). Credit crawl.

Mel Torme - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer

3-13 Star Wars
Airdate: 12 December 1980

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Features a classic SCTV News and the first appearance of Bill Needle in the first Mailbag. Curiously, Dave Thomas' book numbers the Mailbag shows starting at 3; presumably, some Mailbags never aired.

Additional Viewing: Star Wars. Obviously.

Syndication Note: SCTV News Teaser was dropped

OPENING

1 Sunrise Semester: Do It Yourself Advertising with Phil

Phil the Garment King (also of Phil's Nails), offers tips on doing your own commercials (just be yourself, prices that are easy to say, get a gimmick, keep your hands in your pockets).

Phil the Garment King - Levy

2 Promo: Chick Monk Roadie for the Defence

Chick checks levels, tapes down some cables, and averts disaster in the form of a falling speaker stack.

Chick Monk - Rosato; Prosecutor - Flaherty; Defendant - Duke; Judge - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer

3 Teaser: SCTV News

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy


4 Kanadian Korner 24: Star Wars

Doug does his phaser and Darth Vader.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

5 SCTV News: 4th Anniversary

Togo enters Guinness Book of Records for most quakes in a year. Earl's going to give an editorial on friendship, but first a message from their new sponsor.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

6 Commercial: Mr Earl Doll

Floyd shows just how much fun you can have with Mr Earl Doll. From Robertson toys.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Soccer player - Wally; Announcer - staff announcer

5a SCTV News: 4th Anniversary Part 2

Earl decides not to give his editorial.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

7 Commercial: Joni Mitchell's For Dogs Only 176

With vocal tricks only a dog can appreciate, including "A Poodle In Paradise," "The Last time I Saw Rover." 2 Record set 47.50, tape 88.95.

Joni Mitchell - Martin; Guy with his dog - Rosato; Announcer - staff announcer

8 Bill Needle's Mailbag 3

Bill doesn't have any good mail. Bill editorializes about celebrities, but can't use any names for legal reasons, so he refers to them using the names of fruit. Singers thinking they are actors ('Coconut') particularly bug him. (Note: Bill alludes to five other shows that were yanked.)

Bill Needle - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer


9 Message from Guy: SCTV Premiere of Star Wars

Guy's pleased to introduce the latest Star Wars film, an SCTV exclusive. But first a message from their new sponsor.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Announcer - Thomas; Second announcer, Guy's son Ricky Caballero - Moranis

10 Commercial: Videotech Complete Home Entertainment System

Videotech provides everything you need to enjoy and copy movies at home. They even deliver. "You'll never have to leave home again."

Wife - Martin; Husband - Moranis; Kid - extra; Delivery man (Sweating Weasel, William Morris) - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer

9a Message from Guy: SCTV Premiere of Star Wars Part 2

Star Wars XXXIV Return to Planet of Empires is interrupted as it becomes obvious it is an illegal copy. Guy runs for it.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty

11 Dialing for Dollars: The Fly Returns to Beneath the Planet of the Apes

$1050 in the jackpot and Walter makes some calls. He calls a guy who looks it up in the TV Guide. Walter hangs up on him. The guy phones back.

Walter Cronkite - Thomas; Lawyer - Moranis

3-14 Hollywood Salutes the Extras
Airdate: 19 December 1980

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DVD Early YearsFeaturing Sneak Previews and the Kirk Douglas hosted Hollywood Salute to Extras.

Additional Viewing: Taxi Driver, Martin Scorsese's 1976 classic; Popeye, Robert Altman's 1980 semi-classic; Star Wars, again; and Sneak Previews, the movie review show featuring Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. Thomas and Flaherty later reprised their Siskel-Ebert impressions on Martin Short's special I, Martin Short, Goes Hollywood.

Syndication Note: Howards Bristol Cream was moved to 3-3 (55); Jackie Stewart's Wide World of High Voices from 3-23 (75) was added

DVD Note: The John Williams music used in the Star Wars clip in Sneak Previews has been replaced with the Polka music that was used to replace Williams' music in The Happy Wanderers Salute to John Williams (Series 5) on DVD Volume 4; Hawaii 5-O theme music in Hawaii 5-Ho has been replaced; closing credits music changed to the Ira Newborn Cycle 2 theme.

OPENING

1 Message from Prickley: Hollywood Extras

Prickley plugs the Extras special, and brings in a couple of extras.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Extras - Thomas, Moranis

2 Commercial: Ella Fitzgerald for Mamorex Cassette Tape

Tapes so good, even Ella Fitzgerald can't tell the difference.

Ella Fitzgerald - Rosato; David Seville - Moranis; engineer - extra; Announcer - staff announcer

3 Bill Needle's Mailbag 5

Bill's show has been cut from 2 minutes to 1. He's got a letter where he's been referred to as a fruit. But he's going to continue his fight for free speech.

Bill Needle - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer

4 Promo: Taxi Driver with Dick Cavett

Dick Cavett is looking at you this season on SCTV.

Dick Cavett - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer


5 Kanadian Korner 14: Exercise

The crew does the opening theme. Bob admits he doesn't know much about exercise. Doug suggests using a wolf pelt.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas; crew - crew

6 Commercial: Howards Bristol Cream

'What's wrong with asking a real man over, especially when it's for a Howards Bristol Cream.'

Forward Woman - Duke; Date - Levy; announcer - staff announcer

7 Sneak Previews

Gene and Robert review the latest Star Wars, Empires are a Girl's Best Friend.

Clip: Empires Are a Girl's Best Friend

Both agree it's the worst Star Wars yet. Dog of the Week is Robert Altman's Henry, based on the comic strip.

Clip: Henry

Henry - Moranis

Gene concurs on the dog of the week.

Gene Siskel - Flaherty; Roger Ebert - Thomas

8 Promo: Hawaii Five-Ho

Don divides his time between being a cop and the Lounge.

Don Ho - Rosato; Dano - Moranis; Chin - extra; Crowd - extras; announcer - staff announcer


9 Hollywood Salutes Its Extras Part 1

Another in the series on Bad Acting in Hollywood. Kirk Douglas hosts this look at extras, getting time and a half, their brushes with greatness.

Host: Kirk Douglas - Flaherty; Jerry Melvin - Moranis; Dolores Wurtz - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer

10 Quint-Promo: White Man, Black Girl

White Man, Black Girl; Black Woman, White Boy; Black Man, White Man, Black Boy, White Girl; Black Woman, White Butler, Chinese Kid; and Black Woman, White Man, White Boy, Black Girl Love Boat Special, all coming Thursdays at nine.

Announcer - staff announcer

9a Hollywood Salutes Its Extras Part 2

Sid Dithers, an investor, talks about his experiences with extras. A special business extra discusses Ben Hur.

Host: Kirk Douglas - Flaherty; Sid Dithers - Levy; Miles Dustin'hoffer - Rosato; Announcer - staff announcer

3-15 The Irwin Allen Show
Airdate: 26 December 1980

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DVD Early YearsRaoul Wilson continues his sleazy ways with a new show Men on Women. But, because of pressure from his wife, Guy is forced to cancel the show. Moe Green, former station manager, is still being held by radical Lutonians. The late night talk show slot is anchored by disaster movie producer Irwin Allen, but still produced by Freddie de Cordova.

Additional Viewing: Irwin 'Master of Disaster' Allen produced a string of disaster movies with all-star casts in the 70's, including The Poseidon Adventure (Shelley Winters and Red Buttons), The Towering Inferno (Robert Wagner), and The Swarm (bees). Heston was in competing disaster movies, including Earthquake! and Airport 75. Taxi Driver, Martin Scorsese's 1976 classic.

Syndication Note: Kanadian Korner was moved to 97; Marlon Perkins Wildlife Restaurant from 3-25 (77) was added

OPENING

1 Men on Women: Women's Bikinis

Raoul gets going by playing the sexy theme music again. He reads some letters and talks about bikinis with his guests.

Host: Raoul Wilson - Levy; Al - Moranis; Biff - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer

2 Message from Guy: Men on Women

Guy stands up for controversial programming like Men on Women; Guy then gets a call from his wife.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Googie Caballero - ?


3 Kanadian Korner 15: Rolling your own with ski mitts 97

A crew-member wanders across the set, wearing a Canadians toque. Topic: your snowmobile has broken down, you're loaded, and now you roll your own, while wearing ski mitts. Doug demonstrates.

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; crew - extra

4 Cooking with Marcello: Breakaway Bottles

Marcello is joined by his guest, a stuntwoman, and they cook some breakaway bottles.

Marcello Sebastiano - Rosato; Patti Lee Taylor, stuntwoman - Duke

5 Promo: Taxi Driver with Woody Allen

Woody Allen is looking at you this season on SCTV.

Woody Allen - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer

6 Bill Needle's Mailbag 6

Bill's show is cut to 30 seconds, but Bill's still fighting.

Bill Needle - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer


7 Message From Guy: Irwin Allen Show

Guy introduces the Irwin Allen Show, and is interrupted by a phone call from the Lutonian Liberation Front, who kidnapped Moe Green. Guy still won't pay their excessive (now heavily discounted) ransom.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Lutonian - ?

8 The Irwin Allen Show

Irwin's guests Shelley Winters is swept away by a flash flood, Red Buttons is attacked by giant bees, Charlton Heston is crushed under debris.

Irwin Allen - Moranis; Shelley Winters - Duke; Robert Wagner - extra; Charlton Heston - Flaherty; Red Buttons - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer; Freddie de Cordova (Man in suit) - extra

3-16 Big Brother
Airdate: 2 January 1981

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DVD Early YearsIt's new years' eve 1980 and Guy Caballero imagines the future in 1984, resulting in the multi-sketch Telescreen broadcast.

Additional Viewing: Taxi Driver, Martin Scorsese's 1976 classic; The PTL Club, Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker's television ministry.

Syndication Note: Taxi Driver (Bob Hope) was moved to syndicated show 117; Tomorrow, Today, Tonight from 3-19 (71) was added

OPENING

1 Got a Minute with Dr Sid Dithers

Dr Sid eventually gets around to discussing stress.

Sid Dithers - Levy; announcer - staff announcer; crew - extra

2 Kanadian Korner 28: Mystery Guest

Doug has earmuffs over his eyes. They play name that beer.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

3 Promo: Taxi Driver with Bob Hope 117

Bob Hope is looking at you this season on SCTV.

Bob Hope - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer


4 Message From Guy: The New Year

Guy reflects on the new year, and what it might be like in 1984, and then passes out.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

5 Message From Prickley: The New Year

Prickley is in Guy's chair, reflecting on the new year, 1984.

Edith Prickley - Martin

6 SCTV New Year's Eve Party 1983

Bobby interviews some station personalities as the countdown to 1984 begins.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Edith Prickley - Martin; Rabbi Karlov - Moranis; Bill Needle - Thomas; Marcello Sebastiano - Rosato; Molly Earle - Duke; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; other station personnel - extras

7 Stand By/Telescreen Bumper/Time and Weather

Stand By. "This is Telescreen. Do not adjust. It is a crime to adjust Telescreen."

Announcer - staff announcer; bumper announcer - Telescreen announcer; Time announcer - Telescreen announcer 2

8 Komrade Kangaroo

Komrade Kangaroo makes a megaphone and uses it to eavesdrop on mommy and daddy. He then notifies Mr Screen. Next week: Bunny Rabbit will be vaporized and stuffed to make decorations for hate week.

Komrade Kangaroo (Captain Combat) - Thomas; Telescreen - announcer

9 Promo: Hanging 22:00/Telescreen Bumper

announcer - Telescreen announcer; bumper announcer - Telescreen announcer 2

10 Comrade Allen

Comrade Allen concentrates on touching toes.

Comrade Allen - Rosato

11 Promo: Doublethink Game Show

Contestants vie for razor blades and shoe laces trying to guess whether the chocolate ration went up or down.

Host - Levy; 35871WentworthD - Duke, 93580JacksonL - Thomas; guards - extras; announcer - staff announcer

TELESCREEN BUMPER (Orson Welles over SCTV logo) "Big Brother Is Watching You Watching Telescreen" announcer - Telescreen announcer 2


TELESCREEN BUMPER "Big Brother Is Watching You" announcer - Telescreen announcer 2

12 The Praise Big Brother Show

HestonC does a walk on to the Praise Big Brother Show. Before they start talking, the lights go down, and HestonC announces that resistence fighters are attacking the Ministry of Love.

Tammy Bakker - Duke; Jim Bakker - Moranis; Charlton Heston (67002HestonC) - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

5a Message From Prickley: The New Year

Prickley wakes up from her daydream.

Edith Prickley - Martin

4a Message From Guy: The New Year

Guy wakes up and wraps up.

Notes: credits are Telescreen-style

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; announcer - Telescreen announcer 2

3-17 Two Way TV / Pit Bulls
Airdate: 9 January 1981

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DVD Early YearsEarl investigates pit bull fighting and David Brinkley comments on his haircut on SCTV News, followed by Dave Thomas' outrageous Cruising-style turkey stuffing.

Additional Viewing: William Friedkin's controversial 1980 film Cruising starring Al Pacino.

Syndication Note: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre was moved to 3-21 (73); Taxi Driver (Gregory Peck) from 3-11 (63) was added

DVD Note: The Cruisin' Gourmet has been replaced with Tex and Edna Boil from 3-6 (The Lone Ranger Show).

OPENING

1 Sunrise Semester: Astrology with Angus Crock

Angus tells horoscopes, regarding money matters.

Angus Crock - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer

2 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Georgy Girl

Count Floyd plugs Georgy Girl, and a set falls over.

Count Floyd - Flaherty


3 Kanadian Korner 23: The Best Groups and Doug's Imitations

Disco sucks. Doug imitates two dogs fighting, a boat, sea gulls.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

4 SCTV News: Pit Bulls

Orson Welles trapped in a restaurant booth; Earl has a special report on Pit Bull fighting.

Special Report: Pit Bull Fighting

Earl, disguised, covers a pit bull fight. The hicks discover he is a reporter. They lose the signal and cut to Comment.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Hicks - Moranis, Thomas, Rosato, extras

Comment with David Brinkley: Bad Haircut

Brinkley wonders what the hell is wrong with his barber.

David Brinkley - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer

Floyd still can't get through to Earl.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

5 Promo: The Cruisin' Gourmet

The Gourmet tenderizes, checks that the bird is dead, and then stuffs the turkey. (Music is The Disco Strangler by The Eagles.)

Al Pacino - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer


6 Two Way TV

Mr Kessler demonstrates two-way TV. Obtain medical and banking services through your TV. Or choose the programs you watch - Wall Street Week, Happy Hooker Goes to Hollywood, Farm Report, or Leave It to Beaver. The people choose Leave It to Beaver.

Tom Kessler - Moranis; Doctor - Thomas; Mrs Forbes at the bank - Duke; Ward Cleaver - Flaherty; June Cleaver - Duke; Frank Achilles on the Farm Report - Rosato; Happy Hooker - extra; assistant - extra; Announcer - staff announcer

7 Bill Needle's Mailbag 7

The show has been cut to 15 seconds.

Bill Needle - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer

8 Promo: Crazy Crafts: Ben Laberriere

Molly interviews artist Ben Laberriere, who wears a bear suit to get materials from the local dump.

Molly Earle - Duke; Ben Laberriere - Rosato; announcer - staff announcer

9 Sermonette: Rabbi Karlov

The Rabbi (of Temple B'Nai Hill) discusses the Middle East and cooperation.

Rabbi Karlov - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer

3-18 Alpha Channel
Airdate: 16 January 1981

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Alpha Channel is yet another future television concept, similar to Two-Way TV and TotaControl.

Syndication Note: Gordon Lightfoot was moved to 3-8 (60); Logos Galore from 3-24 (76) was added

OPENING

1 Commercial: Gordon Lightfoot Sings Every Song Ever Written

'Supercalifragalisticexpialidotious', 'Happy Birthday', 'Good King Wenceslas', '76 Trombones', and more. From K-Tel; record 4.99, tape or cassette 6.99.

Gordon Lightfoot - Moranis; Announcer: Harvey K-Tel - Thomas

2 Cooking with Marcello: Vatican

Live, via the SCTV satellite, Marcello visits the Vatican and waits to tour the kitchens. He pinches the wrong girl, and buys a souvenir picture of the pope. The pope gets kidnapped.

Marcello Sebastiano - Rosato; Girl - extra; Nun souvenir sales - Duke; Al Pacino Father - Thomas; Terrorist - Moranis; miscellaneous terrorists, pope, priests - extras; announcer - staff announcer


3 Kanadian Korner 18: Sports

Hockey was better when there was only 6 teams - now it's too hard to carry around your cards. And why is Monday Night Football on Thursdays.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

4 Crazy Crafts: Bob

Molly has a bit of a hangover. She introduces Bob, who she met last night, and tries to figure out what she made the night before.

Molly Earle - Duke; Bob - Dick Blasucci; announcer - staff announcer

5 Message from Guy: Alpha Channel

Guy introduces Alpha Channel, and explains why he uses a wheelchair ('for respect').

Guy Caballero - Flaherty

6 Promo: Alpha Channel

The exclusive Alpha channel goes behind the scenes to show Neil Simon working on a script, Jane Fonda's latest movie, Woody Allen's movie, Alan Alda talking to his agent.

Neil Simon - Thomas; Marsha Mason - Martin; Jane Fonda - Duke; Woody Allen - Moranis; Man and woman with descrambler - Rosato, Duke; Alan Alda - Flaherty; Agent Saul Fines - Moranis; Announcer - staff announcer; film crews - extras

7 Bill Needle's Mailbag 8

The show is cut to seven and a half seconds.

Bill Needle - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer


8 Dialing for Dollars: Partridge Family Goes to Mars

Jackpot is 10 dollars. Walter gets a threatening phone call.

Walter Cronkite - Thomas; Threatening caller - Moranis

3-19 Midnight Express Special
Airdate: 23 January 1981

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DVD Early YearsVia the SCTV satellite, Bud Abbott and Lou Costello host the Midnight Special live from the prisons of Turkey, while Bill Needle has his show cut to three seconds.

Additional Viewing: Alan Parker's 1978 Oscar-winning film Midnight Express and The Midnight Special, the late night rock show that SCTV would eventually replace.

Syndication Note: Tomorrow, Tonight, Today was moved to 3-16 (68)

DVD Note: Randy Newman's "Pants" has been replaced by generic music, and Randy's segment has been cut down to where he is basically muffled from the top.

OPENING

1 Sunrise Semester: Basic Photography with Edith Prickley

Prickley creates the mood for a perfect passport photo shoot - wine, music, fan.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Cousin Shirley - Duke; Announcer - staff announcer

2 Commercial: Ella Fitzgerald for Mamorex Video Tape

So real, even Ella can't tell the difference.

Rickie Lee Jones - Duke; Tom Waits - Moranis; Ella Fitzgerald - Rosato; Engineer - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Midnight Express Special announcer - staff announcer


3 Kanadian Korner 26: Bowling Loaded

The downsides of bowling loaded. Doug persuades Bob to sit on his knee and talk in a funny voice.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

4 Tri-Promo: Tomorrow, Tonight, Today 104

Three great news magazines, back to back.

Announcer - Staff announcer

5 Bill Needle's Mailbag 9

Bill's show has been cut to three seconds.

Bill Needle - Thomas; crew - Wally, extra; announcer - staff announcer

6 Message from Guy: Midnight Express Special

Guy introduces the Midnight Express Special and asks for money.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty

7 Midnight Express Special Part 1

Live, from Turkey.

Abbott and Costello at the Airport

A stranger hands Lou a box of hashish.

Lou Costello - Rosato; Bud Abbott - Levy; Stranger - Moranis; Guards - Dick Blasucci, Jan Randall, extras; passengers - extras

Intro

Abbot and Costello introduce The Band, much to Costello's confusion, and John Denver. Denver gets busted while singing 'Rocky Mountain High'.

Wolf man Jack, in a room with Yusef, warns against bringing your dope to Turkey, and introduces Anne Murray ("Snowbird"), who is promptly busted.

Lou Costello - Rosato; Bud Abbott - Levy; Wolf Man Jack - Moranis; John Denver - Moranis; Yusef - Thomas; Anne Murray - Duke; prisoners, guards - extras

BUMPER Promo: Midnight Express Special announcer - staff announcer


7a Midnight Express Special Part 2

Costello gives Abbott a bar of hashish, which he thought was chocolate. They introduce Randy Newman ("Pants"), and the police stop him from taking off his pants. Wolf Man Jack makes the buy from Yusef.

Abbott and Costello at the Airport 2

Abbott and Costello are in the airport trying to leave. A lady gives Lou a box of hashish. Yusef interrogates Abbott.

Lou Costello - Rosato; Bud Abbott - Levy; Stranger - Duke; Yusef - Thomas; Guards - Dick Blasucci, Jan Randall, extras; passengers - extras

Bud Abbott - Levy; Lou Costello - Rosato; Wolf Man Jack - Moranis; Randy Newman - Thomas; Yusef - Thomas

3-20 Cookery Crock / Cartoon Coroner
Airdate: 30 January 1981

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Anchored by two strong sketches - Cookery Crock, with guest Gregory Peck, and Quincy, Cartoon Coroner, which features the first appearance of Joe Flaherty's Jack Klugman. Meanwhile, Bill Needle's fight for free speech finally comes to an end on the final Mailbag.

Additional Viewing: Freddie de Cordova was producer of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.

Syndication Note: Nasex was moved to 3-23 (75); Kanadian Korner was dropped; Eskimo Arts from 3-21 (73) and Message from Guy (Satellite Orbit) from 3-6 (58) were added

OPENING

1 Sunrise Semester: Disasters in the Home with Edith Prickley

Edith demonstrates how to handle fires in the home with her neighbor.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Wendy - Duke; firemen - extras; announcer - staff announcer

2 Commercial: Nasex Nasal Deodorant

Get rid of offensive nasal breath.

Myrna - Duke; Ralph - Moranis; Ralph's helpful friend - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer; party goers, Nasex users - extras

3 Bill Needle's Mailbag 10

Bill is muffled from the top. But his point, I think, is made.

Bill Needle - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer; crew, Soccer player - Wally, extras


4 Kanadian Korner 20: Stuff that Bugs Us

People who honk when you stop to look at an accident; express lines in Canadian Tire.

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas

5 Promo: Freddie De Cordova Show

Everybody's favorite talk show producer interviews his guests from off stage.

Freddie de Cordova - Flaherty; Bobby - Rosato; Bubbles - Duke; announcer - staff announcer

6 Cookery Crock

Angus' guest Dr Mengle injects a casserole and is chased off by dogs; Angus kneads some dough for scones with a cute girl from the audience; moving right along, he adds some scotch to the recipe and does a number with his blues band. The scones catch on fire.

Angus Crock - Thomas; Gregory Peck as Dr Mengle from The Boys From Brazil - Flaherty; Laurie Anderson - extra; Gordon 'Sonny Boy' MacPherson - Rosato; 'Lightning' Sam MacGregor - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer


7 Quincy: Cartoon Coroner

Sylvester is brought in flat, the report says natural causes, but Quincy doesn't buy it. He interviews Tweety and Spike and pieces the death back together.

Jack Klugman as Quincy - Flaherty; Sam - Rosato; Orderly - Moranis; Boss - Thomas; Spike - Thomas; Devil - Thomas

3-21 The Mating Game
Airdate: 6 February 1981

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Walter Cronkite drops by SCTV News, and three SCTV regulars guest on The Mating Game, hosted by Edith Prickley.

Additional Viewing: Taxi Driver, Martin Scorsese's 1976 classic

Syndication Note: Eskimo Arts was moved to 3-20 (72); Taxi Driver (Sid Dithers) was moved to syndicated show 118; Monster Chiller Horror Theatre (Georgy Girl) from 3-17 (69) was added

OPENING

1 Promo: Starting Out with Bill Needle

Bill Needle uses his vast experience to teach young stars what they'll need to know to succeed.

Bill Needle - Thomas; Young starlet - Duke; Young Star - Rosato; announcer - staff announcer

2 Commercial: Eskimo Arts 115

The greatest Eskimo art sale of all time. "I can't eat these pictures."

Eskimo Art - Moranis

3 Message from Prickley: The Mating Game

Prickley plugs The Mating Game.

Edith Prickley - Martin

4 Teaser: SCTV News

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty


5 Kanadian Korner 22: Parking at Donut Places

Doug's new beer bottle. Why parking lots are so small at donut places. They got a ticket.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

6 Promo: Taxi Driver with Sid Dithers 118

Sid Dithers is looking at you this season on SCTV.

Sid Dithers - Levy; announcer - staff announcer

7 SCTV News: Walter Cronkite

Floyd has some really big items (new age-reversing drug, new planet), Earl some tiny ones (parking violation). Cronkite drops by the newsroom; Earl fawns while Walter congratulates Floyd. Walter sits in to do Earl's items, but is distressed to find none of them are any good. So he makes up one of his own.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Walter Cronkite - Thomas


8 The Mating Game

Edith introduces the bachelors and the contestant, Loella. The bachelors say hello. Loella asks questions and chooses her bachelor. (Music - "Tandy" by Frank Chacksfield)

Host: Edith Prickley - Martin; Angus Crock - Thomas; Marcello Sebastiano - Rosato; Rabbi Karlov - Moranis; Loella Lebango - Duke; announcer - staff announcer

3-22 Gene Shalit's America
Airdate: 13 February 1981

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Bob and Doug have been kicked out of the studio and begin a curious multi-episode odyssey doing their show outside and on the run from cops.

Syndication Note: American Express was moved to 3-8 (60)

Second City Note: Robin Duke's character Mona originated on the stage show.

OPENING


1 Sunrise Semester: Societal Behavior with Norman Gorman

Norman shows how to behave in a long line.

Norman Gorman - Flaherty; Soccer player - Wally; announcer - staff announcer

2 Commercial: Henry Moore for American Express 108

Recognized by more arts councils, grant agencies, nude models than any other card.

Henry Moore - Moranis

3 SCTV Special News Report: Chez Mona

Cassie provides solid advice for today's active businesswoman while shopping at Chez Mona.

Cassie Mackerel - Martin; Mona - Duke; Announcer - staff announcer

4 Teaser: SCTV News

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

BUMPER announcer - staff announcer


5 Kanadian Korner 29: Kicked out of studio

Bob and Doug are doing the show on a pile of dirt on the street because they were kicked out because Bob knocked over an expensive camera.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

6 SCTV News: W.A.S.A.S.L.

Floyd has a story on Bill Needle being assaulted, while Earl has an interview with Spike, a tough representative of a women's group called WASASL.

Interview: Spike of W.A.S.A.S.L.

Spike challenges Earl to an arm wrestle.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Deborah 'Spike' Milligan - Duke; Jack the waiter - Rosato; bar patrons - extras

Back at the studio, Earl gets beaten by Floyd and a little kid.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Bill Needle (photo of him roughed up) - Thomas; Kid - extra

7 Comment with David Brinkley: Quality Smoke

Brinkley bemoans the loss of quality smoke.

David Brinkley - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Gene Shalit's America announcer - staff announcer


8 Gene Shalit's America 86

Gene Shalit explores over-indulgence at Le Grand Cochon with Shelley Winters, Orson Welles and William Conrad.

Gene Shalit - Levy; Orson Welles - Thomas; Shelley Winters - Duke; William Conrad - Rosato; Franco Corelli the Maitre D - Moranis; Antonio the waiter - extra; waiters - extras

9 Dialing for Dollars: Space Week

Walter plugs space week, a week of space movies. Prickley and Karlov drop by to invite Walter for a late night snack. Karlov phones a Chinese place to make reservations, and comes up with a winner. Roll credits.

Walter Cronkite - Thomas; Edith Prickley - Martin; Rabbi Karlov - Moranis

3-23 Mel's Rock Pile - MacArthur Park
Airdate: 20 February 1981

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Anchored by the second Mel's Rock Pile with special musical guest Richard Harris.

Additional Viewing: Richard Harris topped the charts in 1968 with MacArthur Park, while Donna Summer topped the charts with a disco version of the song in 1978.

Syndication Note: Jackie Stewart's Wide World of High Voices was moved to 3-14 (66); Nasex from 3-20 (72) was added

OPENING

1 Sunrise Semester: Greek Travel with Alki Stereopolis

Alki teaches us one key phrase: Hey baby, what's happening?

Alki Stereopolis - Flaherty

2 Message from Prickley: Mel's Rock Pile

Edith is giving a depressed Walter a back rub. She pauses to announce, back by popular demand, Mel's Rock Pile, later on the show.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Walter Cronkite - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer

3 Promo: Jackie Stewart's Wide World of High Voices

Jackie's guests will be the Bee Gees, HRH Queen Elizabeth, and Neil Young, who shows up for the promo in person.

Jackie Stewart - Thomas; Neil Young - Moranis


4 Exercise Is Easy with Lucky Ibsen

Lucky stresses the importance of proportion with a series of head-expanding exercises, and plugs her book "Big is Beautiful".

Lucky Ibsen - Duke; Announcer 1 - woman announcer; Announcer 2 - staff announcer

5 Kanadian Korner 30: Stolen Car

Bob and Doug are still outside, and they stole a car, which they use to sleep in.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

6 Mel's Rock Pile: Richard Harris Part 1

The Rock Pile Dance Finals, coincidentally featuring Mel's brother Jerome. Mel gives Jerome the prize, but is quickly forced to backtrack. Mel's musical guest is Richard Harris, who does a lengthy version of MacArthur Park. While waiting for a second verse, Mel talks to some of the kids (Sheldon Resnik from Central Tech), and breaks for a commercial.

Mel Slirrup - Levy; Jerome Slirrup - Moranis; Sandra - Duke; Richard Harris - Thomas; Johnny Terrio - Ken Dresen; Patty Watt - Candace; Sheldon Resnik - Rosato; Dancers - extras; Backup singer - extra; Announcer - staff announcer


6a Mel's Rock Pile: Richard Harris Part 2

Richard finally gets to the stirring finale of MacArthur Park.

Mel Slirrup - Levy; Jerome Slirrup - Moranis; Sandra - Duke; Richard Harris - Thomas; Johnny Terrio - Ken Dresen; Patty Watt - Candace; Sheldon Resnik - Rosato; Dancers - extras; Backup singer - extra; Announcer - staff announcer

3-24 Dick Cavett
Airdate: 27 February 1981

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DVD Early YearsBobby Bittman guests on the Dick Cavett Show, which is being shown on Monster Chiller Horror Theatre. Dick Cavett and Bobby Bittman make an intriguing combination - normally Bittman would be doing this sort of thing on Maudlin.

Additional Viewing: This episode features a couple of quick promos with references to 1978 film The Deer Hunter, and 70s TV shows The Love Boat, Barney Miller and CHiPs.

Syndication Note: Logos Galore was moved to 3-18 (70)

DVD Note: Love Boat Deer Hunter promo is cut.

OPENING

1 Cooking With Marcello: Chicken Cacciatore

Marcello wakes up and cooks chicken cacciatore. The chicken foils his plans.

Marcello Sebastiano - Rosato; Soccer player - Wally


2 Promo: The Love Boat: Deer Hunter Special

All new cast; the ship goes off course and runs into the guys from The Deer Hunter.

Announcer - staff announcer

3 Kanadian Korner 32: Where to Look for Cops

Doug talks about cops; they are still on the lam; they hear sirens and take off.

Bob Mckenzie as Doug Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie as Bob Mckenzie - Thomas

4 Promo: Fish 'n CHIPs

Fish teams up with Eric Estrada in a new show.

Announcer - staff announcer

5 Commercial: Logos Galore 114

We want to help you find a suitable logo for your organization.

Pitch Man - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer

6 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dick Cavett

Floyd hasn't seen the schedule, but assures us it's scary.


7 Dick Cavett: Bobby Bittman

Dick interviews Bobby Bittman, who plugs his book, The Complete Filmmaker, and has outtakes from the movie he just directed, Funny Stuff.

Outtakes: Funny Stuff

Bobby directs a young actress.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Patti Donner - Martin; crew - extras

Bittman, unimpressed with Cavett's attitude, walks off.

Dick Cavett - Moranis; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer

Count Floyd tries to convince us Dick Cavett is scary.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Wally and Wilma voice overs - extras

3-25 The Cisco Kid
Airdate: 6 March 1981

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One of the most unusual SCTV episodes of all, featuring an actual episode of The Cisco Kid (series 2 episode 20, 'Sleeping Gas') with dialog written and dubbed in by Martin Short, Steve Kampmann, Peter Torokvei and Don Dickinson. The sketch was actually a pilot for another series that The Second City was trying to get off the ground, and was simply dropped in when SCTV was short of material; it doesn't feature any of the regular cast members.

Additional Viewing: The Cisco Kid, the weekly half-hour adventure series ran from 1950 to 1956. Marlin Perkins was the long-running host of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.

Syndication Note: This entire episode was almost entirely removed from the syndicated run; Message from Prickley, Neil Jung, The Love Boat, Kanadian Korner and The Cisco Kid were all dropped. Marlon Perkins was moved to 3-15 (63)

OPENING

1 Message from Prickley: The Cisco Kid

Prickley plugs The Cisco Kid.

Edith Prickley - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

2 Commercial: Marlon Perkins' Wildlife Dinner Restaurant

Watch the food you want to eat on TV.

Marlon Perkins - Thomas; Husband - Rosato; Wife - Duke; other diners - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

3 Promo: Neil Jung, Psychiatrist

Neil will sing away your problems. This week, Tony Orlando.

Neil Jung (Neil Young) - Moranis; Tony Orlando - Rosato; announcer - staff announcer

4 Promo: The Love Boat

Announcer - staff announcer

5 Kanadian Korner 33: Doug Builds a Studio

Still outside, Doug, wearing safety goggles, has assembled some scrap lumber into what will become their new studio.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

BUMPER announcer - staff announcer


6 The Cisco Kid Part 1

Black Bart with Dwayne and Pop rob a bank while Pancho is inside by putting everyone to sleep with gas. They are spotted leaving town, and Cisco and Pancho follow them. Cisco and Pancho are ambushed.

Cisco - Peter Torokvei; Pancho - Martin Short; Bart - Steve Kampmann; Dwayne Muncey - Kampmann; Pop - Torokvei; Patty - Kampmann; Bank manager, townspeople - Kampmann, Torokvei, Don Dickinson; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER "Cisco, Pancho and Dwayne will be right back." announcer - staff announcer


6a The Cisco Kid Part 2

In a different town, the bad guys try the same stunt but Cisco and Pancho are on to them. A gunfight ensues. Roll credits.

Cisco - Peter Torokvei; Pancho - Martin Short; Dwayne Muncey - Kampmann; Pop - Torokvei; Patty - Kampmann; Bank manager, townspeople - Kampmann, Torokvei, Don Dickinson; announcer - staff announcer

3-26 Best Of 3
Airdate: 13 March 1981

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An episode of repeats from Series 3, introduced by a Guy Caballero segment.

OPENING

1 Message from Guy: Satellite Model

Guy discusses the SCTV satellite system, and has a demonstration prepared when it suddenly crashes, blacking out the signal. Due to technical difficulties, they present the best of SCTV.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

2 Sunrise Semester: Do It Yourself Advertising with Phil (R)

Phil the Garment King (also of Phil's Nails), offers tips on doing your own commercials (just be yourself, prices that are easy to say, get a gimmick, keep your hands in your pockets).

Phil the Garment King - Levy

3 Promo: The Merv Griffin Show: Arafat, Liberace, Ferigno (R)

Coat linings, terrorism, Merv does a number with Liberace, Loni's breasts, Hulk's make-up.

Merv Griffin - Moranis; Yasser Arafat - Flaherty; Liberace - Thomas; Loni Anderson - extra; Lou Ferigno - Rosato; Lou's makeup assistant - Duke


4 Kanadian Korner 24: Star Wars (R)

Doug does his phaser and Darth Vader.

Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas

5 Promo: Taxi Driver with Bob Hope (R)

Bob Hope is looking at you this season on SCTV.

Bob Hope - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer

6 Dick Cavett: Dick Cavett (R)

Dick's guest is Dick Cavett.

Dick Cavett - Moranis; Dick Cavett - Moranis

7 Promo: Elvis 'n Costello (R)

Songs and sketches with Elvis and Costello.

Lou Costello - Rosato; Elvis Presley - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer

8 K-Tel's Fast-Talking Playhouse: Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (R)

Harvey K-Tel presents a 2 minute version of the classic play. They finish early.

Harvey K-Tel as George - Thomas; Barbara Streisand as Martha - Martin; Broderick Crawford as Nick - Flaherty; Sandy Duncan as Honey - Duke


9 Tri-Promo: Black Man, White Boy

Announcer - staff announcer

10 Promo: My Fair Lady (R)

The Professor finds Perini a tough nut to crack. They sing the "Rain In Spain" bit. Eliza gets ready to go to the ball.

Perini Scleroso as Eliza Doolittle - Martin; Rex Harrington Jr. as Professor Henry Higgins - Flaherty; Sir Wilfred Moose-Moryn as Colonel Pickering - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer

11 Promo: My Life One More Time (R)

Woody finds someone he can relate to (they met at his tailor's).

Woody Allen - Moranis; Female Woody Allen - Martin; Woody's friend - Levy

12 Commercial: Ella Fitzgerald for Mamorex Video Tape (R)

Even Ella can't tell the difference.

Rickie Lee Jones - Duke; Tom Waits - Moranis; Ella Fitzgerald - Rosato; Engineer - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

13 Signoff: The National Anthem (R)

Mel sings the American anthem; it is followed by the Canadian anthem, as selected by Bob and Doug.

Mel Torme - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer