SERIES 4 CYCLE 3 - SCTV NETWORK

John Candy | Joe Flaherty | Eugene Levy | Andrea Martin | Rick Moranis | Catherine O'Hara | Dave Thomas

Series 4 Cycle 3

Director: Jim Drake, John Bell (2nd unit)
Head Writers: Don Novello
Writers: Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Mike Short, Bob Dolman, John McAndrew, Mert Rich, Doug Steckler, Chris Cluess, Tom Couch, Eddie Gorodetsky, Stuart Kreisman
Producers: Patrick Whitley, Don Novello


DVD Volume 3

1 (97) Great White North Palace
2 (98) Pre-Teen World Telethon
3 (99) The People's Global Golden Choice Awards
4 (100) 3D Stake From the Heart
5 (101) Pet Peeves / The Happy Wanderers
6 (102) Chariots of Eggs
7 (103) Battle of the PBS Stars
8 (104) Rome, Italian Style
9 (105) The Days of the Week / Street Beef

SCTV now begins its programming day. Yes, SCTV is still on the air. Starring John Candy, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, Andrea Martin, Rick Moranis, Catherine O'Hara and Dave Thomas. This is the SCTV television network!
Narrator - staff announcer

Production on Cycle 2 wrapped in December 1981, and for Cycle 3 the show moved back to Toronto, production resuming in the spring of 1982 (March 22) at Magder Studios. After two months of reruns, the new episodes started airing on NBC in mid-April. Rock 'n roll photographer Norman Seeff came in for a week-long photo shoot at Magder for Life magazine in April. In June, Martin Short was brought in to beef up the cast as rumors that Dave and Rick might be leaving were hitting the papers. They couldn't have made a better choice, as his manic energy would help the show weather the departure of several cast members.

As expected, soon after production wrapped Thomas and Moranis left to start shooting Strange Brew. Then, in mid-September, news hit that Catherine O'Hara was also leaving. Producer Andrew Alexander downplayed the impact of the exodus, citing past departures and leaving the door open for anyone to come back. O'Hara and (to a lesser extent) Thomas would both return for guest appearances in subsequent seasons.

The final two shows from this cycle were held back to start NBC's 1982-83 season, airing in October. On November 14, after the first two shows of Cycle 4 had already aired, all eight Cycle 3 cast members assembled for a last hurrah on The Second City stage in Toronto for the "United We Fall" benefit, an evening of classic Second City sketches.

Best of the Best: Pre-Teen World Telethon, Rome, Italian Style

4/3 - 1 The Great White North Palace with Tony Bennett
Airdate: 16 April 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

Emmy nominated: outstanding writing in a variety or music program

Guy's been taking a lot of heat for showing reruns lately, and he responds by exploiting the incredible popularity of Bob and Doug McKenzie, giving them their own superspecial. (Guy's rerun troubles stem from the heavy use of repeated sketches at the end of Cycle 2, including three full Best Ofs.)

Syndication Note: Message from Guy and Dan Ellsmire were cut from syndication; the Tony Bennett/Lola segment of the wraparound was slightly edited; the Prickley segment of the wraparound (including the lugeing scenes) was cut; the scene with Bittman and LaRue in the bar was edited

DVD Note: The Tribute to John Belushi was cut

OPENING Tonight's musical guest: Tony Bennett

1 Message from Guy: Reruns

Guy introduces the new 'cycle', and responds to those who are wondering when they'll do some new shows. And now, the new season: 52 shows, including 4 new shows, 13 composites, 8 best ofs, and 27 reruns.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

2 Commercial: Indira, live at the Ackron Arena (R)

The musical about a prime minister who wanted to be a singer, and ended up seducing a nation. Cut off part-way through.

Indira Gandhi - Martin; Slim Whitman - Flaherty; extras - extras; announcer - Thomas

1a Message from Guy: Reruns Part 2

Guy is surprised to learn that Indira is a rerun.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty

3 Commercial: Angie Dickenson for Fancy-Free Undershields 77

For women like Angie who perspire to greatness.

Angie Dickinson - O'Hara; Angie stand-in - extra; crew, hoods - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Nightline Melonville announcer - staff announcer


4 Bob and Doug Wrap Part 1: Guy's Office 125

Carl and Fred make a proposal to Guy to exploit Bob and Doug, including a hoser weekend and merchandizing. Guy gives them a speech about the SCTV family, throws out the Scutz brothers, and decides to go it alone. (Note: Indira is still playing on his monitor.) He then mulls over the program schedule.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Carl Scutz - Moranis; Fred Scutz - Thomas

5 Commercial: Al Peck's Used Cars 126

Every car has a story. "No song and dance here."

Al Peck - Levy

BUMPER Promo: You! announcer - staff announcer


4a Bob and Doug Wrap Part 2: Linen Closet 125

Johnny LaRue gets the boys to wash his car. Guy arrives and tells Johnny he's replaced his show with a Great White North special. He also takes away Johnny's limo, per diems and dressing room, and, along with his own wheelchair, give them to the boys. They run into Bittman, and Guy cancels his special. They arrive at their new dressing room. Guy runs into Prickley and explains his plan. Note: The girl calendar on the wall of the dressing room is courtesy Al Peck's Cars.

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Edith Prickley - Martin

6 Promo: The Days of the Week

Clips from The Days of the Week, and run down of the characters, and bumper. Announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "This is the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "Welcome back to SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

7 Way to Go, Woman!: Mother Theresa (R4) 125

Lola's show is interrupted by the Bob and Doug special promo.

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Mother Theresa - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

8 Promo: Great White North Special 125

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer

4b Bob and Doug Wrap Part 3: Guy's Office 125

Guy is talking to Tony Bennett (while Way to Go Woman continues on the monitor). Lola comes in to chew Guy out for ruining her show. Guy says it was a rerun anyway, and he's been taking a lot of heat for reruns lately.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Tony Bennett - himself

9 You!: Fitness 92

Libby has been on a rigid fitness program for a week, and it's changed her life. No more fad diets.

Clips: At Libby's Health Club

Libby jogs, pumps the iron, buys an outfit, and does dancersize. And then the rewards - weighing yourself.

Libby Wolfson - Martin; Sue Bopper Simpson - O'Hara; joggers, weightlifters, shoe salesman - extras

Libby Wolfson - Martin

BUMPER Promo: Nightline Melonville announcer - staff announcer


10 Nightline Melonville: Unemployment 94

A fancy new set and format, and satellite link. Tonight, an in-depth probing look at the unemployment problem. Floyd interviews congressman Schaffer, while Earl interviews union representative Mach. Earl's satellite feed acts up.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Union representative Wayne Mach - Candy; Representative Vernon Schaffer - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Great White North Palace announcer - staff announcer


4c Bob and Doug Wrap Part 4 125

The boys are being fitted in wardrobe. Juul's peeved because the Haalmeyer dancers are being replaced with union dancers for Bob and Doug's special.

Prickley, in her office, is feeling a bit left out and tense, what with shows being cancelled and new ones added without her knowing. So she goes lugeing to relax.

In a bar, Bittman and LaRue are drunk and conflicted about Guy. A guy asks Johnny for his autograph, but doesn't recognize Bittman.

In Makeup, Bob and Doug get their hair done.

Juul Haalmeyer - Juul Haalmeyer; Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Director - Levy; Cue card guy - Don Lake; Bittman - Levy; Johnny Larue - Candy; Bev Schectman - Bev Schectman; autograph seeker - extra

BUMPER Promo: Great White North Palace announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "You're watching SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER

11 The Great White North Palace Part 1 126

Bob and Doug's fabulous variety special, but they have trouble with the cue cards and generally screw it up. Guy, watching on his monitor, tries to salvage the show by getting Tony Bennett to do a number ('I Wish I Were In Love Again').

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Tony Bennett - himself; Don Costa (orchestra leader) - Levy; Tony Bennett's band - themselves; Great White (union) Dancers - extras; crew - extras; announcer - staff announcer


11a The Great White North Palace Part 2 126

Bob and Doug do a blind date sketch with Joyce and Morgan, but screw up reading the cue cards again. Morgan and then Joyce walk. Guy pulls the plug.

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Morgan Fairchild - O'Hara; Joyce Dewitt - Martin; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

12 Commercial: Reverend Dan Ellsmire - Be My Friend

The reverend will be your friend, for a price.

Dan Ellsmire - Candy; lonely man - Flaherty

BUMPER Promo: Pre-Teen World Telethon announcer - staff announcer


4d Bob and Doug Wrap Part 4: Studio 126

The boys clean up after the disaster. They find their old Great White North set. Tony Bennett drops by and tells them he wanted to be their topic; so they do an impromptu show.

Great White North: Tony Bennett

Today's topic is Tony Bennett. Tony sings a morale boosting number ("The Best Is Yet to Come").

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Tony Bennett - Tony Bennett

BUMPER Promo: Tribute to John Belushi announcer - staff announcer


13 Tribute to John Belushi

Clips and photos of John Belushi to some classic rock songs. (John was scheduled to be a guest on the show.)

Credits (over The Great White North Palace theme song and the Great White Dancers.)

4/3 - 2 Pre-Teen World Telethon with The Recess Monkeys
Airdate: 23 April 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

Features a wraparound telethon by and for the benefit of Pre-Teen World. Other major sketches include the the classic Maudlin's Eleven and the Adventures of Shake and Bake. Hands Off Remote Control features a rematch between Gerry Todd and Tim Ishimuni, something of a sequel to Midnight Video Special. Also features a teaser for the award show in the next episode.

Additional Viewing: Maudlin's Eleven is a parody of Ocean's Eleven, starring the Rat Pack. Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang was a variety act in the 50's and 60's, Johnny himself being something of a harmonica legend, and they used to open for Dean Martin. Prickley Heat is a parody of Body Heat.

Syndication Note: The entire Pre-Teen World Telethon was cut

DVD Note: A Harmonica Gang tune is changed in Maudlin's Eleven; Shake 'N Bake features all different music; the noise pollution in National Committee Against Noise Pollution is different

OPENING Tonight's musical guest: The Recess Monkeys

1 Commercial: Hands Off Remote Control Converter from Videotech 144

Gerry's got a hands off remote for the kitchen screen, but Tim Ishimuni still has superior technology. "Videotech. Keeping your hands off video"

Gerry Todd - Moranis; Tim Ishimuni - Thomas

BUMPER Promo: Pre-Teen World
Stephan Sealy - Candy, Alexis Shannon - O'Hara


2 Commercial: National Midnight Star 150

The latest issue includes a ballot for the American People's Global Golden Choice Awards. Vote for your favorite stars. It's not fixed.

Rawl Withers - Levy; Woman - O'Hara

3 Pre-Teen World Telethon Part 1

Barry Black, producer of Pre-Teen World, explains the all-night telethon. Alexis and Stephan start things off, then go to the calculation board, where Paul is adding the donations.

Barry Black - Flaherty; Alexis Shannon - O'Hara; Stephan Seely - Candy; Matthew Wallace - FLaherty; Kathy Tudor - Martin; Paul Rey - Levy; Darren Wade - Thomas; Steve Applebaum - Moranis

BUMPER Promo: Maudlin's Eleven announcer - staff announcer


4 Promo: Turk Gruman Police Dispatcher 137

He came from the cushy world of limousine dispatching to join forces with the NYPD, and now all hell's gonna break loose. High action adventure, torrid romance, human drama.

Turk Gruman - Candy; Chief - Flaherty; Dispatcher - John Hemphill; cops - extras; announcer - staff announcer

5 SCTV Movie of the Week: Maudlin's Eleven Part 1 133

Sammy has called a summit meeting to propose a heist. He suggests to William B and Bobby that they get some of their old GI buddies together to help them out, and one extra: Bobby's brother Skip.

Bill Needle (at the Blue Angel Burlesque Strip Tease, warming up the crowd for the main act, his wife Honey), Skip Bittman (doing the warm up act for Make Room for Daddy), and Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang are all summoned to Sammy's. Everyone gathers around the pool table at Sammy's to discuss the mark: Danny Thomas' dressing room at Desilu studios.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bill Needle - Thomas; Skip Bittman - Moranis; Honey Pie Traynor - extra; Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang - The Harmonicats; bar patrons; audience - extras; Chicks - extras; hey, that looks a lot like the Wally Hung Trio working the Blue Angel: Drums (Ricky) - Moranis; Organ (Wally) - Paul Flaherty; Bass - Dick Blasucci; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER "This is the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "This is still the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer

5a SCTV Movie of the Week: Maudlin's Eleven Part 2 134

Bobby is in a real hip beatnik bar for an espresso. He sings a swingin' number about pulling a heist. The heist: Bill's ready at the hydro pole; Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang are ready by the phone booth; Sammy's in his garbage man outfit; Bobby and William B are in the audience watching Skip's warm up act. At 8:30, Needle cuts the power; Sammy gets in the truck; Bobby and William B go to the dressing room, Skip heads to the car. But then things go bad.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; William B - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bill Needle - Thomas; Skip Bittman - Moranis; Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang - Harmonicats; cop - Jack Duffy; waitress - extra; Beatniks - extras; Chicks - extras; Danny Thomas - extra; Make Room For Daddy audience - extras

3a Pre-Teen World Telethon Part 2

Kathy is at the phones with Henry and Darren. Darren gives an impressive speech in support of Pre-Teen World (well, impressing Kathy, anyway).

Henry Ostrovic - Flaherty; Kathy Tudor - Martin; Darren Wade - Thomas

BUMPER Promo: The Adventures of Shake 'n' Bake announcer - staff announcer


6 Promo: Prickley Heat 117

The story of a woman too hot to touch. "Boy are you stupid! I like that in a man."

Edith Prickley - Martin; E Charles Bronson - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer

7 The Adventures of Shake 'n' Bake 134

Shakespeare and Francis Bacon, together in one rollicking adventure.

Backstage at the Globe Theatre

Shake and Bake sweat out the script to Hamlet backstage while it's playing. Circumstances end up shaping much of the material.

Later At the Whorehouse...

Shake and Bake go for some relaxation at the whorehouse.

That Evening At the Pub

Shake and Bake are still working on the script at their local. Naval recruiting officers arrive and drag Shake and Bake off to serve in Her Majesty's Royal Navy.

Aboard the Golden Hind

During a naval battle, Shake and Bake are still arguing about the play. Bake takes a flesh wound.

Shake - Thomas; Bake - Moranis; Tarts - Martin, O'Hara, extras; Rozencrantz and Guildenstern - Levy, Candy; Hamlet - extra; Ophelia (Tony) - Flaherty; actors - extras; Navy Press gang - extras; bar patrons, whorehouse patrons, sailors - extras

BUMPER Promo: The Days of the Week announcer - staff announcer


8 Nightline Melonville: Kidnapping 103

Lead item: Mayor Shanks' grandson has been kidnapped. However, when they go to interview Shanks, Raymond is with him - the kid just went to have some sodas. When interviewed, the police chief expresses surprise that Nightline Melonville didn't lead with the story on the Salt II Nuclear Arms Treaty. Because "Knucklehead Camembert" thought he had a scoop, Floyd explains.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Tommy Shanks - Candy; Deward Weiss, Police Chief - Moranis; Raymond - extra; Shanks bag man - Levy; reporters - extras

BUMPER Promo: Pre-Teen World Telethon - Recess Monkeys announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER Promo: "Don't forget SCTV's Pre-Teen World Telethon telephone number: JKLMNOP" announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "This is SCTV" announcer - staff announcer

3b Pre-Teen World Telethon Part 3

Alexis introduces The Recess Monkeys, who perform 'My Girl'.

Alexis Shannon - O'Hara; The Recess Monkeys: Stephan Seely (drums, backing vocals) - Candy, Paul Rey (guitar, backing vocals, tambourine) - Levy, Steve Applebaum (guitar, vocals) - Moranis

9 Commercial: Surgical Clinical Instruments 155

Shocking metallic curios for your living room.

Pitch man - Thomas

BUMPER Promo: Pre-Teen World Telethon announcer - staff announcer


3c Pre-Teen World Telethon Part 4

Stephan introduces Alexis and Kathy, who do a special dance to a Hall and Oates song. They then go to the tote board. Paul is too tired.

Alexis Shannon - O'Hara; Stephan Seely - Candy; Kathy Tudor - Martin; Paul Rey - Levy; Darren Wade - Thomas; Steve Applebaum - Moranis

10 PSA: National Committee Against Noise Pollution 96

Walkmans are better than ghetto blasters.

Spokeswoman - O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer; guys with ghetto blasters - extras


3d Pre-Teen World Telethon Part 5

Stephan is the only one awake so he's answering the phones. He gets a call from his mother and has to go. Darren shows up as he leaves. Guy rolls in to check on how much they've made. He gives a stirring speech.

Stephan Seely - Candy; Darren Wade - Thomas; Alexis Shannon - O'Hara; Guy Caballero - Flaherty

BUMPER Promo: The People's Global Golden Choice Awards announcer - staff announcer

Credits - My Girl performed by The Recess Monkeys

4/3 - 3 The People's Global Golden Choice Awards with Third World
Airdate: 1 May 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

SCTV's take on award shows and, I think, the award show we'd all like to see. Also features another Merv Griffin show and The Fishin' Musician.

Additional Viewing: Merv, The Special Edition combines elements of Close Encounters of the Third Kind and 2001. Steven Spielberg re-edited his original Close Encounters of the Third Kind and released it as the Special Edition in 1980.

Syndication Note: The Fishin' Musician and Great White North were cut from syndication

DVD Note: The outro music for The Fishin' Musician ("Gone Fishin'", performed by Bing Crosby and Louis Armstrong) has been replaced.

OPENING

1 People's Global Golden Choice Awards Part 1 155

Special presentation of SCTV and the National Midnight Star. Guests arrive. Lola and Lorna start the show with a high energy number (music: Series 2 and 3 theme song) featuring the Juul Haalmeyer Dancers.

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Lorna Minelli - Martin; Dr Tongue - Candy; Edith Prickley - Martin; Pierre Trudeau - Short; Bill Needle - Thomas; Honey Pie Traynor - extra; The Fonz, Michelle and Bum Phillips - extras; Juul Haalmeyer Dancers - Juul Haalmeyer, Dick Blasucci, Doug Steckler, Bob Dolman, extras; crowd - extras; Announcer - staff announcer


2 Commercial: Bob's Big Guy Restaurant 159

Order a little extra for Big Guy.

Bob - Candy; diners, kids - Hemphill, extras; announcer - staff announcer; second announcer

1a People's Global Golden Choice Awards Part 2 155

Guy makes an opening statement and introduces Rawl Withers, of the National Midnight Star (which published the ballots), who explains the balloting procedures in song with the Juul Haalmeyer Dancers. Backstage, Guy turns down Bob Hope's offer to appear in the show.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Rawl Withers - Levy; stage hands - extras; Bob Hope - Thomas; Juul Haalmeyer Dancers - Juul Haalmeyer, Dick Blasucci, Doug Steckler, Bob Dolman, extras; crowd - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

3 Commercial: Convert-A-Toupe 137

Why be stuck with one hairstyle when you can have so many choices. "Bald today. Hair tomorrow."

Pitch man - Moranis; announcer - announcer


1b People's Global Golden Choice Awards Part 3 155

Anson Williams and Maureen Wallace present the first award, for best TV Talk Show, despite some carpentry work going on in the background. Nominees - The Tonight Show, The Phil Donahue Show and, the winner, The Sammy Maudlin Show. In the crowd, Bill's wife Honey is tipsy and heads to the washroom. Backstage, LaRue humiliates Liz Taylor.

Elizabeth Taylor and Johnny LaRue present the award for best special effects. Nominees: Dragonslayer, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and, the winner, Zontar (the Glowing Cabbage Effect). Bob Hope calls the FBI (collect) to tell them the award show is a bit fishy...

Anson Williams - Moranis; Maureen Wallace - O'Hara; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Bill Needle - Thomas; Honey Pie Traynor - extra; Elizabeth Taylor - O'Hara; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Rawl Withers - Levy; Dave Prock - Dave Prock; stage hands - extras; Bob Hope - Thomas; crowd - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: "This is SCTV, your awards network." announcer - staff announcer


1c People's Global Golden Choice Awards Part 4 156

The 5 Neat Guys salute the best music from the best films (On Golden Pond, Reds, Raiders of the Lost Ark; Absence of Malice; Chariots of Fire, Arthur). Guy comes out to tell everyone to take a break while they read out the technical awards.

5 - Candy; N - Flaherty; E - Levy; A - Thomas; T - Moranis; Bill Needle - Thomas; Honey Pie Traynor - extra; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; crowd - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

4 The Merv Griffin Show: The Special Edition 77

The additional seven minutes of the Merv Griffin Show. The Close Encounter Ship arrives. Merv and Steven Spielberg, who is directing the additional footage, enter the mother ship to meet the crew making The Making of Merv The Special Edition. Orson Welles joins Merv. HAL will also be joining them. Spielberg tries to rush HAL, so HAL fools him into going outside the ship to fix a malfunction, and jettisons Spielberg into space. Merv and Orson go into the space pod to discuss HAL. Phyllis Newman joins them for the final approach to Jupiter. They watch a video montage. They are attacked by George Lucas, who declares the show must be destroyed. Merv brings out his next guest, George Plimpton, who demonstrates Intellivision, and they challenge Lucas to boxing (and win).

Merv Griffin - Moranis; Steven Spielberg - Thomas; Orson Welles - Candy; Phyllis Newman - Martin; George Lucas - Levy; George Plimpton - Flaherty; HAL - extra; Guests - extras; crew - extras; Announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER People's Global Golden Choice Awards announcer - staff announcer

1d People's Global Golden Choice Awards Part 5 156

We rejoin the awards as Gerry Todd walks off with a clean sweep of technical awards. Backstage, Bill's looking for his wife. He finds her in the men's washroom with Trudeau.

On stage, the Fonz and Lola Heatherton present the award for best foreign personality to Perini Scleroso. Backstage, the FBI arrives to talk to Caballero.

On stage, Jack Klugman and Herve Villechaize present the award for best performance in a dramatic series. Rawl makes a quick change to throw the FBI off the scent. The winner is Hill Street Blues (instead of Vikings and Beekeepers). The Hill Street Blues cast tramples Herve.

Gerry Todd - Moranis; Bill Needle - Thomas; Honey Pie Traynor - extra; Pierre Trudeau - extra; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; The Fonz - extra; Perini Scleroso - Martin; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Rawl Withers - Levy; outraged man - Moranis; Inspector McDonald - Moranis; Inspector Cashen - Thomas; Herve Villechaize - Candy; Jack Klugman as Quincy - Flaherty; crowd, Hill Street Blues cast - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: The Days of the Week announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "Welcome back to SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

5 Great White North: 15-pin bowling

They're back, but their show has been cut from two minutes to one. Doug does several themes. Bob shows a mirror ball he stole from their special. In the Great White North, there's 5 pin bowling, and in the U.S., there's 10 pin, so they want to talk about 15-pin bowling, but they run out of time.

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas

6 Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Chuckie 133

Chuckie the baseball playing chicken has died. Get a souvenir heart or baseball card. See Sylvia the bowling cat.

Tex Boil - Thomas; Edna Boil - Martin

7 The Fishin' Musician: Third World Part 1

Gil and Whitey introduce the show.

Gil Fisher - Candy; Whitey Fisher - O'Hara; announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER The Fishin' Musician announcer - staff announcer

7a The Fishin' Musician: Third World Part 2

They show clips of their antique hunt, which is why Whitey is there. Whitey shows them how to haggle. Gil breaks up the chair she got for firewood. After the clips, Third World present Gil with a priceless vase and do a number ("Try Ja Love"). After the number, Whitey spills tea all over Gil, who breaks the vase.

Gil Fisher - Candy; Whitey Fisher - O'Hara; Willie Nelson - extra; Third World - themselves


1e People's Global Golden Choice Awards Part 6 156

Richard Harris gives a monologue on awards.

Bobby Bittman and Edith Prickley present the award for newcomer of the year. The nominees: Sheena Easton, Timothy Hutton, and, the unpopular winner, Skip Bittman. Bill Needle urges the crowd to throw objects at the stage. A fight breaks out. Ed Asner tries to organize the people. Rawl attempts to calm things down.

The FBI thanks Bob Hope, who snags an award out of mid-air. The show degenerates into a riot.

Richard Harris - Thomas; hecklers - Candy, Moranis; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Edith Prickley - Martin; Skip Bittman - Moranis; Bill Needle - Thomas; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Rawl Withers - Levy; Inspector McDonald - Moranis; Inspector Cashen - Thomas; Ed Asner - Candy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Elizabeth Taylor - O'Hara; crowd - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: 3D Stake from the Heart announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER

1f People's Global Golden Choice Awards: Penitentiary 156

Guy visits Rawl in prison, who is taking the fall. Their attempt to bribe the Governor has failed, because the Governor was impeached, and the new one is Ed Asner. Guy finds a lesson in the whole sordid mess, and gives a stirring speech. They lower their ugly heads and raise their voices in song ("Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child").

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Rawl Withers - Levy; guard - extra; prisoners - extras

BUMPER People's Global Golden Choice Awards

Credits - music "Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child"

4/3 - 4 3D Stake from the Heart
Airdate: 14 May 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

3D Stake From the Heart takes a stab at Francis Ford Coppola's difficulties with his film One From the Heart. This episode also introduces the superb soap opera parody The Days of the Week, and features a series of linked Boil's Emporium commercials wherein Edna searches for someone to replace Tex. DR X., meanwhile, is an homage to film noire and adventure serials.

Syndication Note: 3D Stake from the Heart was edited; Dan Ellsmire was cut

DVD Note: Edna Boil audition music by the sax playing family (Benny Hill Theme) has been changed

OPENING

1 Message from Guy: The Days of the Week 82

Guy's excited about SCTV's new soap opera, The Days of the Week, which has made the cover of the National Midnight Star.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty

2 Commercial: Gene Shalit for Bufferil 125,166

Gets right to the source of the headache and eliminates it completely.

Gene Shalit - Levy; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER "You're watching the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer


3 Commercial: House in a Box 89

Adjustable build-it yourself home, only 799.99

Harvey K-Tel - Thomas

4 The Days of the Week episode 1 82

Clay Collins arrives at the hospital to see Dr Sabian. Sabian is talking to Wainwright, and is upset about Clay's test results. Violet and Mojo are getting ready to welcome Violet's long lost son Billy, who had amnesia, home. Rocco phones Wainwright, to renegotiate their deal.

Violet McKay - O'Hara; Mojo - Martin; Dr William Wainwright - Candy; Rocco - Flaherty; Clay Collins - Moranis; Dr Elliot Sabian - Levy; Nurses, patients - extras; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Just For Fun announcer - staff announcer


5 Just for Fun: Copland, Friedan, Solzhenitzen 157

Stan gets a jump start from a blonde in the audience. Stan's feeling a little nutty, so he brings out all of his guests at once. He asks Alexander who he thinks is the most perfect woman (Muriel Hemingway). He asks Aaron who he'd like to have on a desert island (Paula Prentice). And he asks Betty if she could be more attractive than she already is, who would she like to be (Loni Anderson).

Stan Kanter - Levy; Marsha - O'Hara; Aaron Copland - Flaherty; Betty Friedan - Martin; Alexander Solzhenitzen - Thomas; audience - extras

BUMPER Promo: Dr. X announcer - staff announcer


6 Dr. X: An Old Friend Returns 117

The Inspector brings Dr X in to do a steak out. Dr X decides to find his old pal the Invisible Man to help him out. X finally tracks him down in a bar. Together they crack the case.

Neville Atwood as Dr X - Thomas; The Invisible Man - Moranis; Inspector - Candy; Women on street - extras; crooks - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

7 Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Lawn Ornament Daze 138

Edna's trying to move lawn ornaments, but isn't getting any support from Tex. Then Tex drops a bomb: he's leaving her. Tex walks off.

Tex Boil - Thomas; Edna Boil - Martin

BUMPER Promo: 3D Stake From the Heart announcer - staff announcer


8 The Making of 3D Stake from the Heart Part 1 118

Count Floyd takes a behind the scenes look at Francis Ford Coppola's remake of his own One From the Heart.

Clip: 3D Stake From the Heart

Dr Tongue has plans for his nymphette.

Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Dr Tongue - Candy; Gilda Radner - O'Hara

We see Coppola working with his cast, Gilda, Tongue and Woody, and signing checks. Floyd interviews Coppola, and sits in on an investor's meeting, where Coppola pitches his open-air 3D extravaganza concept. We see Mona Melman's imaginative and inexpensive costume designs.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Francis Ford Coppola - Moranis; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Gilda Radner - O'Hara; Investors - extras; Mona Melman - Martin

BUMPER Promo: 3D Stake From the Heart announcer - staff announcer


8a The Making of 3D Stake from the Heart Part 2 118

The behind the scenes look continues with another film clip.

Clip: 3D Stake From the Heart

Villagers have some questions before storming Tongue's castle.

Robert Duvall - Thomas; torch-bearing mob - Flaherty, Candy, extras

Floyd interviews Tongue and Woody in their trailer. Coppola hustles his film on the street.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Francis Ford Coppola - Moranis; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; people on the street - extras; crew - extras

9 Commercial: Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Western Clothing 138

Edith sits in to help out her sister Edna. Edna's got men's clothing in Tex's size. Edna starts rambling. Edith figures Edna's had 28 good years, but she's better off without him.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Edna Boil - Martin

BUMPER


10 Commercial: Reverend Dan Ellsmire - Surprise Grab Bag

Dan has some statistics about television advertising. He then addresses himself to people who will buy anything. Surprise grab bags, for the surprise of your life.

Dan Ellsmire - Candy

11 Commercial: ? and Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Auditions 138

Edna is conducting auditions to fill Tex's boots. Free coffee and donuts. "You fill in the blank."

Note: The rock keyboardist medley - ELP "Fanfare for the Common Man", Procol Harum "A Whiter Shade of Pale", Kraftwerk "Autobahn", The Band "Chest Fever"

Edna Boil - Martin; Straight White Guy - Levy; Laid Back Black Guy - extra; Sax playing family - Candy, extras; Actress - O'Hara; Seth Dick III - Flaherty; Western Guy - extra; English Keyboardist (Keith Emerson) - Moranis

BUMPER Promo: Carl Perkins announcer - staff announcer


12 The Irv Goldfarb Show Part 1 159

Irv plugs the Bali Indonesian Restaurant, makes some announcements.

Irv Goldfarb - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer

13 Commercial: Bali Indonesian Cuisine Restaurant 159

More seating room. They have their liquor license back. The Bali is so handy to the airport, you never know what celebrities you may see there (photo of Irv Goldfarb and wife).

Maurice Wong (voice only) - Moranis; Irv Goldfarb - Thomas; Mrs Goldfarb - Beverly Schectman

14 Promo: The Irv Goldfarb Show 159

Every day at noon, Irv reviews a film, cooks a recipe and talks to a guest.

Irv Goldfarb - Thomas

12a The Irv Goldfarb Show Part 2 159

Irv's first guest is Jack Durham from a security company. Jack demonstrates his flak vest. Prince, his security dog eats Irv's kebab. The Police take Irv away for discharging a weapon.

Irv Goldfarb - Thomas; Jack Durham - Moranis; police - extras; Prince the Shepherd; Maurice Wong (voice only) - Moranis

15 Commercial: Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Countess Boileena 138

Edna has a new man. She's taking a few weeks off to tour Europe with a Count. When they return, they will have scabbards, blades, halberds, pikes and organs.

Edna Boil - Martin; Count (Alki Stereopolis) - Flaherty


16 Sunrise Semester: Conversational New Yorkese II with Norman Gorman 111

This week, apartment dwelling, specifically walkups in the Big Apple. Shower, super and lawyer.

Norman Gorman - Flaherty

Credits - Rock keyboardist medley

4/3 - 5 Pet Peeves / The Happy Wanderers with Carl Perkins
Airdate: 21 May 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

Features the first appearance of the Shmenges and the classic Stairways to Heaven commercial. Also features a series of vignettes "Pet Peeves of the Stars".

Syndication Note: The Fishin' Musician and Stand Up and Be Counted were cut

DVD Note: Stairways to Heaven was cut. Linsk Minyk's performance of Stairway to Heaven on the Happy Wanderers was cut. The outro music for The Fishin' Musician ("Gone Fishin'", performed by Bing Crosby and Louis Armstrong) has been replaced.

1 Promo: Annie with The Original Cast 133

The original Annie, Daddy Warbucks, and Sandy the dog, but not at the original price.

Annie - Martin; Daddy Warbucks - Moranis; cast - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Pet Peeves of the Stars "Find out what rubs Hollywood the wrong way, later tonight on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


2 Commercial: Stairways to Heaven 117

30 great artists, one great song.

Announcer: Harvey K-Tel - Thomas; Al Stewart - Moranis; Buffy St Marie - Martin; Pavarotti - Thomas; Barry White - extra; Slim Whitman - Paul Flaherty; Rikki Lee Jones - O'Hara; 5 Neat Guys - Thomas, Moranis, Levy, Candy, Flaherty; Rich Little - Robert Plant

3 Promo: Donahue: Pornography 157

Donahue takes a look at pornography. He interviews a burlesque performer, and takes the show on the road to a porn shop. And Donahue has a solution.

Phil Donahue - Thomas; Porn shop owner - Moranis; Leanne - O'Hara; audience - extras; announcer - staff announcer

4 Pet Peeves of the Stars 1: Elizabeth Taylor 82

Elizabeth Taylor hates people who lay on the vice when shaking hands.

Elizabeth Taylor - O'Hara; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: The Days of the Week recap announcer - staff announcer


5 The Days of the Week episode 2 86

Zach convinces the mayor to allow chemical war games in Pleasantville. But the land Zach wants for his war games is owned by May Matlock, one of the wealthiest women in Pleasantville. But Zach is not from the Government as he claims. Mrs McKay waits anxiously for Billy to arrive. Clay, feeling great, arrives at Dr Sabian's office to get his test results. The results, however, are bad. May is hanging herself when Zach arrives.

Violet McKay - O'Hara; Mojo - Martin; May Matlock - Martin; Clay Collins - Moranis; Dr Elliot Sabian - Levy; Zach Harrington - Thomas; Mayor Shubb - Flaherty; Terrorist - extra; Receptionist - extra; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: The Happy Wanderers announcer - staff announcer


6 The Happy Wanderers: Linsk Minyk Part 1 122

Stan and Yosh open the show. The audience is from the Buffalo chapter of the Leutonian American Society.

Stan Shmenge - Levy; Yosh Shmenge - Candy; audience, band - extras; announcer - Moranis

7 Commercial: Shmenge Travel 122

Stan and Yosh have a deal on the annual Leutonia Rites of Spring Festival. They will rip their own clothes to get you a good deal.

Stan Shmenge - Levy; Yosh Shmenge - Candy

6a The Happy Wanderers: Linsk Minyk Part 2 122

Stan and Yosh talk to some of the people. Linsk Minyk, a former member of the Happy Wanderers, comes out to do a song (a Leutonian "Stairway to Heaven"). A stage light crashes to the ground.

Stan Shmenge - Levy; Yosh Shmenge - Candy; Linsk Minyk - Moranis; audience, band - extras

8 Commercial: The Happy Wanderers Looking Back on Shmenge Records 122

A 2 record set, featuring "Dance, Old Man Dance", "Just a Shmenge Waltz", "There's Rhythm In My Lederhosen", "Mama Cook Me Cabbage Rolls", "The Wanderer's Polka".

Stan Shmenge - Levy; Yosh Shmenge - Candy; trench coat - extra; crewguy - extra; guy taking leak - extra

6b The Happy Wanderers: Linsk Minyk Part 3 122

The Shmenges do a last number, thank Mrs Vilve Yachke for the cabbage rolls and coffee.

Stan Shmenge - Levy; Yosh Shmenge - Candy; audience, band - extras; announcer - Moranis

BUMPER: "This is SCTV, where fine programming just happens." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER Promo: The Great White North announcer - staff announcer

9 Promo: Second Nose Job 118

An afterschool special, the story of a girl who becomes less popular after her nose job, and triumphs over her emotions.

Cheryl - Moranis; Other girls - O'Hara, Martin; Kids - extras; announcer - staff announcer

10 Nightline Melonville: Milk slush fund 96

Melonville Mayor Tommy Shanks has been accused of siphoning thousands of dollars out of the milk fund. Earl tries to interview the Mayor, but Floyd, who is "under the weather", butts in and asks Shanks if his mother knew he stole that money. Shanks gets upset. Earl tries to take control and tells Floyd to shut up, and then tells Shanks to shut up. Shanks, ticked, comes down to the station to kick both their heads in.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Tommy Shanks - Candy

4a Pet Peeves of the Stars 2: Bob Hope 82

Bob's peeved by people writing books about other people after they die. So he's never going to die.

Bob Hope - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: The Fishin' Musician announcer - staff announcer


4b Pet Peeves of the Stars 3: Luciano Pavarotti 82

Pavarotti's peeved by drive in banks, barbers not cutting nose hairs, and the shortage of beetle boots.

Luciano Pavarotti - Candy; announcer - staff announcer

11 Commercial: Audiogames by Intellicoustic 153

Gerry's got the video switched off so he can enjoy audio games such as basketball, baseball, and Gerry's favorite, Galactic War. And no Dolby - you'll want to hear all the noise.

Gerry Todd - Moranis; baseball announcer, basketball players - extras; announcer - staff announcer

12 The Fishin' Musician: Carl Perkins Part 1

Gil introduces the show.

Gil Fisher - Candy; announcer - staff announcer

13 Commercial: K-I-L Ammo (R4)

Gil Fisher knows. The ammo of the pros.

Gil Fisher - Candy; chick with duck - extra; announcer - staff announcer

12a The Fishin' Musician: Carl Perkins Part 2

Gil chats with Carl and his band. They show clips of the fishing trip for arctic charr in the Northwest Territories. Gil, thinking it would be nice to drive, does all the driving himself. After several sleepless days, they have to turn back as they're running out of time. They stop at a bar (his usual guide, Willie Nelson, is playing). Gil gets real hammered and obnoxious. He taunts cops, hassles the waitress and gets beaten up by a small guy. Carl then does a number ("Matchbox").

Gil Fisher - Candy; Carl Perkins and the CP Express - themselves; bar patrons - extras; Willie Nelson - extra

BUMPER Promo: Hall and Oates announcer - staff announcer


14 Great White North: How to beat the Russians

The show is back to two minutes. Relaxed, the boys have the camera pan off as they have all kinds of time. When they pan pack, Doug quickly comes up with a topic: how to beat the russians in the space race.

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas

4c Pet Peeves of the Stars 4: Morgan Fairchild 82

Morgan's peeved when people don't take her seriously.

Morgan Fairchild - O'Hara; announcer - staff announcer

15 Commercial: LaRue Fish Flakes and Frosted Fish Flakes 111

A special cereal for special people.

Mother - Martin; Father - Flaherty; kids - extras; Fish Flake Man (Johnny LaRue) - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Stand up and Be Counted with Bill Needle announcer - staff announcer


16 Stand Up and Be Counted with Bill Needle

Bill's new late night phone-in show, and carps about how he dislikes phone in shows. He gets calls from Carl Sagan and Tip O'Neill, but refuses to talk to them. Guy Caballero calls and cancels the show.

Bill Needle - Thomas; Phone operator - extra

BUMPER Promo: Mrs Falbo's Tiny Town announcer - staff announcer


Credits

4/3 - 6 Chariots of Eggs with Hall and Oates
Airdate: 5 June 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

Features tri-network coverage of NASA's production of Murder in the Cathedral, classic episodes of Sammy Maudlin, Mrs Falbo's Tiny Town and Carl's Cuts, and the game show that lets contestants get Revenge.

Additional Viewing: Chariots of Eggs is a spoof of both Chariots of Fire and Personal Best.

Syndication Note: Wheelbarrow World was cut

DVD Note: Closing credit music was changed to the generic theme

1 Commercial: Luciano Pavarotti for Edison Gum 110

Pavarotti's favorite gum. "It will light up your mouth."

Luciano Pavarotti - Candy; stage manager - extra; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Sammy Maudlin announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "This is SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

2 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Chariots of Eggs Part 1 111

Joined in progress. Bittman has to deal with a heckler (in a studio audience!). He then discusses his latest film, Chariots of Eggs, which he wrote and directed. He brings out the stars of Chariots of Eggs, Daryl Hall and John Oates ("Did It In a Minute").

William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Hall - Daryl Hall; Oates - John Oates; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER


2a The Sammy Maudlin Show: Chariots of Eggs Part 2 111

Hall, Oates and Bittman discuss Chariots of Eggs.

Clip: Chariots of Eggs

A skillful film with a helluva soundtrack about two guys racing against two women who are lesbians (I mean that in the good sense). (Featuring "Chariots of Fire" by Vangelis.)

Coach - Thomas; Runners - Daryl Hall, John Oates; Dutch Leonard - Martin; Holly Faun - O'Hara; race officials - extras

Sammy brings out the two chicks from the film, Dutch Leonard and Holly Faun, and discuss their controversial relationship in the film.

William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Hall - Daryl Hall; Oates - John Oates; Holly Faun - O'Hara; Dutch Leonard - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

3 Commercial: Johnny LaRue's Discount Deprive-O-Rama 133

Share Johnny's relaxation in his isolation tanks. The whole womb effect. And if you get bored, watch TV or go to a party at a neighboring tank...

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Gerbils - extras; announcer - staff announcer; party guests - extras

BUMPER Promo: SCTV News Special Report announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "This is SCTV, the pride of Melonville." announcer - staff announcer

4 SCTV News Special Report: NASA Production of Murder in the Cathedral 89

Walter Cronkite anchors special live tri-network coverage of NASA's latest production. Out front of the theatre, David Brinkley covers the arrival of the Mercury III players, Buzz Aldrin, Rusty Schweickart and Alan Shepard. At Houston production control, Stage Manager Christopher Craft initiates curtain lift off and the production starts. Cutting away to the lobby, Brinkley gets some reactions to the production from Katharine Hepburn, who's appalled at their delivery and that NASA is funding theatre productions, and Tom Wolfe, who's thrilled by it. Meanwhile, the play runs into a snag when the gates of the cathedral don't open; NASA attempts an EVA to correct the problem. They have to abort the third act. Cronkite wraps up.

Walter Cronkite - Thomas; David Brinkley - Moranis; Tom Wolfe - Flaherty; Katharine Hepburn - O'Hara; Christopher Craft (Houston Control) - Candy; Buzz Aldrin, Rusty Schweickart and Alan Shepard - extras; Rockwell technicians - extras; Violet and Amber - extras; street freaks, crowd - extras


BUMPER

5 The Days of the Week episode 3 89

Recap of last week's episode. Clay tells Sue Ellen the bad news. Zach confesses to May that he was after her land, but now he wants her. Rocco arrives at Mrs Mackay's, pretending to be Billy, her long lost son.

Violet McKay - O'Hara; Mojo - Martin; May Matlock - Martin; Dr William Wainwright - Candy; Rocco - Flaherty; Clay Collins - Moranis; Dr Elliot Sabian - Levy; Sue Ellen - O'Hara; Zach Harrington - Thomas; Wayne the Biker - John Hemphill; Biker - extra; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Great White North announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "This is SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

6 Commercial: Ethel Merman Wake Up and Love Me 105

Ethel puts the fire back into candle-lit dinners ("Feelings", "Misty", "Killing Me Softly", "Some Enchanted Evening", "Moon River").

Ethel Merman - Martin; Couple - O'Hara, Levy; announcer - staff announcer

7 Great White North: Twist-off Beer Caps 92

Bob and Doug want to know why Americans have twist-off caps. Doug figures it's because their beer is weaker and they have to drink faster.

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas

8 Commercial: Mr. Boom Microphone (from Ronco) 105

Also available, Mr Fishpole, Mr Lavalier, Mr Floor Model, and Mr Dish Mic.

Duncan - Flaherty; Bored woman - O'Hara; Jack Carter - Levy; Father and Mother - Flaherty, O'Hara; chick - extra; shriners - extras; dude with a boom - extra; black dudes - extras; kids - extras; announcer - staff announcer; party guests - extras; microphone model - Levy

BUMPER Promo: Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town announcer - staff announcer


9 Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town: Prison 82

The letter of the day is 'P'. Mr Messenger and Mrs Falbo go to Melonville Maximum Security Prison. Mr Messenger learns why the prison is called 'Maximum Security'. Mr Beechnut gives them a tour. They have lunch. After lunch, they talk with some of the prisoners. Mrs Falbo and Mr Messenger give a show to the prisoners. There's a break - it's every man for himself. Mrs Falbo is left alone with Duke.

Mrs Falbo - Martin; Mr Messenger - Candy; Warden Beechnut - extra; Jimmy - extra; Duke - Lou Pitoscia; Mohammed - extra; prisoners, guards - extras

BUMPER Count Floyd: "SCTV, proud as an old bat." Count Floyd - Flaherty


10 Commercial: Wheelbarrow World

Noah introduces Vic, to show some of the deals at Wheelbarrow World. "The wheelbarrow people."

Noah Glinsky, TV gardener - Candy; Vic Hedges - Flaherty; Mr Monaco (the owner) - extra; shoppers - extras

11 Revenge 96

The show that gives everyone what they want - revenge. First up is Margie, who thinks garbage men are filth, and wants them to get what's coming to them.

Clip: Garbage Man Getting Hernia

Garbage men - extras

Mark Newell took revenge into his own hands, against his bank clerk, and has some home video.

Clip: Blowing Up Bank Teller's House

Mark Newell - Flaherty

However, the teller gets her revenge when Mark is taken away for seven to ten years. A lunatic with dynamite strapped to his head shows up, claiming he hates the show.

Host: Ennio Gorodetsky - Thomas; Margie Walker - Kathy Laskey; Mark Newell - Flaherty; Nancy Fulmer - extra; cop - extra; Angry Guy - Moranis; Audience - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER


BUMPER "Our programming now continues from Studio B." announcer - staff announcer

12 Carl's Cuts: Film Editing 117

Carl's topic is cutting the fat out of films. Like Heaven's Gate, which Fred's been working on for weeks.

Carl Scutz - Moranis; Fred Scutz - Thomas

13 Message from Guy: SCTV's Political Stance 122

Guy's had some letters from viewers saying SCTV's programming isn't challenging and doesn't take a political stance. Guy stands by SCTV's non-challenging programming, and vows (to stirring music), when the time comes, to take a strong political stand behind whatever issue represents the majority of their viewing audience.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty

BUMPER


Credits - music from Chariots of Eggs

4/3 - 7 Battle of the PBS Stars with Dave Edmunds and Joe Greene
Airdate: 16 July 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

Battle of the PBS Stars pits various PBS celebrities against each other, and is hosted by none other than Howard Cosell and Dick Cavett. Other major sketches include Wok On the Wild Side, featuring detective/chef Harry Wok, a mystery thriller in the tradition of Charlie Chan and Mr. Moto ('Ellery Stout' conflates the names Ellery Queen and Rex Stout, two famous writers of detective fiction from the 30s on); I Was a Teenage Communist, a great parody of Reefer Madness-type propaganda movies; and Joe Greene Playhouse, based on the commercials of Mean Joe Greene. David Brinkley retires in his last Comment segment. This episode marks Martin Short's first credited appearance, with significant roles in I Was a Teenage Communist, Big Dude and the Kid and impersonations of Mr Rogers and Tom Hayden.

Additional Viewing: I Was a Teenage Communist combines I Was a Teenage Werewolf, the 1957 classic about a teenager with anger management issues, with Reefer Madness. Big Dude and the Kid is a parody of The Steeler and the Pittsburgh Kid, a 1981 TV movie starring Joe Greene and inspired by his coke commercial. ABC's Battle of the Network Stars, with host Howard Cosell, and PBS back in the 80's; Wok On the Wild Side features music from Elmer Bernstein's soundtrack for The Man With the Golden Arm (1955), as well as dialogue from The Maltese Falcon.

Syndication Note: Charlie's Kitchen and Comment were cut from syndication

1 Commercial: Long Distance 155

Your friends and family are only seconds away. Why not give them a call, just to make sure they're OK? "We're Your Phone Company."

Ken - Levy; Wife - O'Hara; Mr Evans - extra; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Battle of the PBS Stars announcer - staff announcer


2 SCTV Sports: Battle of the PBS Stars Part 1: Boxing 75

Howard and Dick co-host this special event from Yale. Cosell complains that Cavett is ruining the pace of the show.

Boxing: Mr Rogers vs Julia Child

Cosell makes the call at ringside. In a surprisingly close fight, Mr Rogers eventually beats Julia Child by clubbing her with a hand puppet. Cosell declares it a dark day in Mr Rogers' Neighborhood.

Mr Rogers - Short; Julia Child - Candy; Howard Cosell - Levy; Coaches - extras; Referee - extra

Howard Cosell - Levy; Dick Cavett - Moranis; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Wok on the Wild Side "Jean Pierre Yang stars as Harry Wok, coming up on Wok on the Wild Side." announcer - staff announcer


3 Wok on the Wild Side: The Case of the Stir-Fried Corpse 157

From the SCTV vaults of classic detective literature (which includes Harry Filth and Small Town Dick), Ellery Stout's Wok On the Wild Side. A murder has the cops stymied. Harry's doing his show when Officer Reilly arrives with the suspects in the case: the chauffeur, Miss Masters the secretary, and the husband, Burlington. Harry gets them to help prepare the meal, and narrows the suspects down to one.

Jean-Pierre Yang as Harry Wok - Candy; Reilly - Flaherty; Doctor Burlington - Short; Carmen the Chauffeur - Levy; Miss Masters - O'Hara; Chief - extra; cops, corpse - extras; announcer - staff announcer

2a SCTV Sports: Battle of the PBS Stars Part 2: High Jump 75

As Joan and Beverly warm up on the track, they show a clip from their latest show.

Clip: High Notes and Hobbies

Beverly paints Joan and gives her more chin than a Chinese phonebook.

Beverly Sills - Martin; Joan Sutherland - O'Hara

Beverly wins the event when Joan lands on the track and gets trampled.

Before starting the touch football event, they take a look at clips from the shows of the team captains, Carl Sagan and William F Buckley.

Clip: Behind the Scenes at Cosmos

Carl takes a behind the scenes look at his own show.

Carl Sagan - Thomas; makeup - Beverly Schectman; crew - extras

Clip: Firing Line: Jane Fonda and Tom Hayden

Jane and Tom concede that they are wrong and decide to join the new conservative movement.

William F Buckley - Flaherty; Jane Fonda - O'Hara; Tom Hayden - Short; Jeff Greenfield - Ron James

Dick Cavett - Moranis; Howard Cosell - Levy; Beverly Sills - Martin; Joan Sutherland - O'Hara; announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER


BUMPER "We now return to our regularly scheduled programming on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

The Days of the Week recap; announcer - staff announcer

4 The Days of the Week episode 4 92

Clay and Sue Ellen talk; Clay suggests they marry right away. Mrs Mackay talks with Billy/Rocco; Billy/Rocco asks about her will. Mojo discovers Rocco's gun and confronts him. Clay visits Sabian to invite him to his wedding. Sabian has doubts about the timing (the coming Saturday). Sabian calls Mayor Shubb.

Violet McKay - O'Hara; Mojo - Martin; Rocco - Flaherty; Clay Collins - Moranis; Dr Elliot Sabian - Levy; Sue Ellen - O'Hara; Mayor Shubb - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Movie of the Week "Don't listen to your parents. Stay cool. Rock and Roll with Dave Edmunds." announcer - staff announcer


2b SCTV Sports: Battle of the PBS Stars Part 3: Football 75

Buckley's got a ringer on his team who flattens Sagan.

Dick Cavett - Moranis; Howard Cosell - Levy; William F Buckley - Flaherty; Milton Friedman - extra; James Baldwin ringer - extra; Carl Sagan - Thomas; Jeff Greenfield - Ron James; John Kenneth Galbraith - extra; announcer - staff announcer

5 SCTV Movie of the Week: I Was a Teenage Communist Part 1 137

Eddie Davis is a typical American teenager, but he gets caught up with the wrong crowd. Russ introduces Eddie to his friends at the Duke Snyder fan club, a front for Communists. There he meets, and becomes fascinated with Emma. They convince him to head down to Murray's Coco Shack, where Russ' rock and roll band is playing. Emma gives him a mysterious looking hickey. Meanwhile, Mrs Davis discovers that Russ plays rock and roll, and calls the police.

Notes: Based on the novel "Werewolf Without a Cause" and produced by Republic Pictures in association with HUAC and Red Channels Magazine.

Narrator - Flaherty; Mrs Davis - O'Hara; Eddie Davis - Short; Russ Riley - Dave Edmunds; Murray (Lenin) - Levy; Emma - Martin; Communists - Dave Edmunds Band, extras; youths - extras; announcer - announcer

BUMPER Promo: Movie of the Week "Stay cool. I Was a Teenage Communist will continue after these messages." announcer - announcer


5a SCTV Movie of the Week: I Was a Teenage Communist Part 2 137

At the Coco Shack, Russ' band does a number ("From Small Things, Big Things Surely Come") and things get wild. Eddie smokes a reefer, then goes to the washroom and starts to transform. At the same time, he figures out what's going on. Too late he tries to warn people, but he's turned into a werewolf.

Narrator - Flaherty; Mrs Davis - O'Hara; Eddie Davis - Short; Russ Riley - Dave Edmunds; Murray (Lenin) - Levy; Emma - Martin; communists - Dave Edmunds Band; kids, cops - extras

6 Commercial: Harry's Discount Sex Shop: Businessman of the Year 137

Harry's a sucker, and he's been named small businessman of the year, with more than 200 locations.

Harry - Candy; Harry's Sales Representatives - extras; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER "You're experiencing the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER


BUMPER "We now return to our regularly scheduled programming on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

7 Commercial: Big Dude TV Dinner 88

Big enough to serve the biggest appetite. "Heavy with goodness"

Joe Greene - Joe Greene; Rocky - Rocky Bleier

8 Charlie's Kitchen

Charlie cooks some sausages.

Charlie - Thomas; crew - crew

BUMPER Promo: Mean Joe Greene Playhouse "Joe Greene stars in the gripping drama The Big Dude and the Kid, next." announcer - staff announcer


9 Mean Joe Greene Playhouse 88

Essentially Masterpiece Theatre, but Cook is presenting a series of films based on the commercials of Joe Greene. This week, the Big Dude TV Dinner.

Clip: Commercial: Big Dude TV Dinners

Joe Greene - Joe Greene; Rocky - Rocky Bleier

The Big Dude and the Kid

Joe goes to visit Billy Joe, who is sick and begs Joe to play against the 49ers. Joe agrees, even though he's retired. Joe devises a plan. But they are found out.

Joe - Joe Greene; Rocky - Rocky Bleier; Billy Joe Wiggams - Short; Mr Wiggams - Candy; Mrs Wiggams - O'Hara; Doctor - Flaherty

Alistair Cook - Flaherty


10 Promo: Love Slaves of the Southwest 153

A documentary about attacks by the Phoenix Nymphomaniacs.

Woman - O'Hara; announcer - announcer

11 Comment with David Brinkley: Boredom

Brinkley's bored and decides to hang it up, and go raise dew worms.

David Brinkley - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer


Credits - From Small Things, Big Things Surely Come by Dave Edmunds

4/3 - 8 Rome, Italian Style with Jimmy Buffett
Airdate: 15 October 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

Brian Johns looks into timeshare condominiums, Jerry Lewis captivates his devoted French audience Live on the Champs Elysees, while Rome, Italian Style is the last word on Italian cinema.

Additional Viewing: Rome, Italian Style was directed by "Federico De Sica" - check out Federico Fellini's 8 1/2 and Vittorio De Sica's Marriage Italian Style and The Bicycle Thief. The 1981 documentary film The Man Who Saw Tomorrow, about the life and predictions of Nostradamus. Norton Sheeff is an impersonation of rock and roll photographer Norman Seeff, who did a week-long photo assignment at Magder on SCTV for Life magazine in April 1982 (now included as an extra on the DVD Volume 2 box set). The theme song for the 'Identical' shows is a parody of 60's TV sitcom The Patty Duke Show.

Syndication Note: The Fishin' Musician, Mouse House and International House of Panties were cut from syndication

DVD Note: The outro music for The Fishin' Musician ("Gone Fishin'", performed by Bing Crosby and Louis Armstrong) has been replaced.

1 Promo: "Mr Know-It-All" The Life of Nostradamus - The Promo 92

Visionary, or loud-mouthed know-it-all? Nostradamus wasn't such a popular guy. But he did manage to get laid ("You won't get pregnant").

Nostradamus - Thomas; King - Flaherty; Messenger - Short; Father - Moranis; Courtiers, courtesan, soldiers - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Money Talks "Talk Money with Brian Johns, coming up on Money Talks." announcer - staff announcer


2 Promo: Identical Bellhops 89

A hilarious new sitcom about identical bellhops; one's naive, the other's been around.

Bellhops - Flaherty; hotel guests - extras; announcer - staff announcer

3 Money Talks with Brian Johns: Condominiums 88

Brian looks into time sharing condominiums. Doug Catteral shows him around. He signs up.

Brian Johns - Levy; Doug Catteral - Candy; beautiful people - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Nightline Melonville "Margaret Thatcher and Tip O'Neil debate nuclear disarmament, next on Nightline Melonville." announcer - staff announcer


4 Nightline Melonville: Margaret Thatcher and Tip O'Neill 117

Exclusive interview with Tip and Margaret, but the fur doesn't fly as much as Earl and Floyd had hoped, despite their provocative questions.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Margaret Thatcher - O'Hara; Dennis Thatcher - extra; Tip O'Neill - Candy

2a Promo: Identical Cheese Hostesses 89

A hilarious new sitcom about identical cheese hostesses; one's naive, the other's been around.

Cheese Hostesses - O'Hara; shoppers - extras; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: The Fishin' Musician "Jimmy Buffett, tonight on the Fishin' Musician." announcer - staff announcer


5 Promo: Jerry Lewis Live on the Champs Elysees 75

Jerry sings and rants and makes us feel good, a lot. Directed by Martin Scorsese.

Jerry Lewis - Short; Louis the musical director - Thomas; Orchestra - extras; announcer - staff announcer

6 Great White North: Dog scoopers 105

Using dog scoops and dealing with business in New York.

Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas

2b Promo: Identical OPEC Oil Ministers 89

A hilarious new sitcom about identical OPEC oil ministers; one's naive, the other's been around.

Oil Ministers - Levy; press, oil executive - extra; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: The Days of the Week recap announcer - staff announcer 96


7 The Days of the Week episode 5 96

Clay is feeling down and writes a song. Billy McKay arrives at the club to see Clay, and offers to be his best man. He's going to surprise his mother at the wedding. Rocco calls Wainwright to tell him he'll kill Mrs McKay tomorrow at the wedding. May Matlock discovers that Zach is a psychopath. Zach decides to go to the wedding as May's guest.

Violet McKay - O'Hara; Mojo - Martin; May Matlock - Martin; Dr William Wainwright - Candy; Rocco - Flaherty; Clay Collins - Moranis; Zach Harrington - Thomas; Billy McKay - Short

8 Commercial: International House of Panties

Panty riot sale. Panties of all kinds. Deals on pre-owned panties.

announcer - Levy; men in trenchcoats - Doug Steckler, extras

BUMPER Promo: Rome, Italian Style "The North American television premiere of Federico de Sica's Rome, Italian Style, coming up next on SCTV's Movie of the Week." announcer - staff announcer


9 SCTV Foreign Film Festival: Rome, Italian Style 94

A film by Federico de Sica and Enio Petri. Riding through his village on a bicycle with training wheels, Angelo has words with the priest and spies a rump that, for him, proves the existence of God. Arriving home, his numerous children have created chaos. He kicks them out. He has an argument with his wife, and goes to the study to think (well, fantasize).

He fantasizes about being in a Ferrari with training wheels. He picks up a chick (Angelica). In a surreal white room, Angelica and his wife mock and taunt him. He tries and fails to escape his fantasy, confesses to the Padre, and confronts himself on the dining table, ready to be carved up and eaten by his wife and children. The fantasy ends abruptly.

Returning to the reality of his home, where Seraphina is serving dinner. The circus passes by their window. Angelo drives by on a bicycle without training wheels.

Marcello Gassman as Angelo - Flaherty; Monica Magnani as Seraphina the Wife - Martin; Ursula Schneider as Angelica - O'Hara; Enio Petrie as the Padre - Levy; Villagers - extras; Children - extras; Mama - extra; sax players - extras; miscellaneous voices - O'Hara

BUMPER Promo: Soapy Maxwell "Sharp-edged suspense, next week on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "This is the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER

10 The Fishin' Musician: Jimmy Buffett

Gil and Jimmy talk fishing. They watch clips of their charter balloon fishing trip, to catch trout in ponds. Jimmy sings a song ("Slow Boat to China").

Gil Fisher - Candy; Jimmy Buffett - Jimmy Buffett; Coral Reefer Band - band; other ballooners - Mike Short, extras

BUMPER "This is the SCTV television network, quality programming for troubled times." announcer - staff announcer


11 Commercial: One-stop Lifestyle Services 91

Insurance, management, hobbies... Spending your money on a good logo. From Levine Enterprises, "Just a Holding Company".

Frank Levine - Moranis; secretary - extra; Announcer - staff announcer

12 Promo: Mouse House

First there was Willard, then there was Ben, now it's Mouse House. A new mini series. It has everything except a roof.

Announcer - staff announcer; mice - themselves

13 Fireside Chat: Chipped tooth 126

The mayor chipped a tooth the other day. He drops milkbones on a stuffed parrot on a bungie cord.

Tommy Shanks - Candy; announcer - staff announcer

14 Promo: Norton Sheeff's The Making of: Dr. X 117

Norton Sheeff, photographer gets close to actor Neville Atwood behind the scenes of the latest Dr. X show.

Neville Atwood as Dr X - Thomas; Norton Sheeff - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer; models, crew - John Bell, crew

BUMPER Promo: Sunrise Semester "Study with the master. Drawing with Dali, coming up on Sunrise Semester." announcer - staff announcer


15 Promo: General Life's Insight 103

Skip Bittman: What Happened. Skip's landed on his feet after being banned from Maudlin by his brother.

Skip Bittman - Moranis; Announcer - staff announcer

16 Sunrise Semester: Elementary Drawing 101 with Salvador Dali 137

Dali draws a really different face. With black ants.

Salvador Dali - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER "Join us next week with our special guest, Bill Murray, on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


Credits - Slow Boat To China by Jimmy Buffett

4/3 - 9 The Days of the Week / Street Beef with Bill Murray
Airdate: 22 October 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next Series

The wraparound features another battle between Caballero and LaRue, as Johnny is once again sent out to do Street Beef. Also features an epic tribute to serialized adventure movies in the Talking Projector Adventure Series, Carl and Fred Scutz deliver, The Days of the Week ends on the cliffhanger to end all cliffhangers, and Bill Needle bids farewell on TV Talk.

Additional Viewing: Talking Projector Adventure Series appears to be in part inspired by the fast-talking, gag-filled movies of Preston Sturges; the opening screening room scene is more or less identical to the opening scene of Sullivan's Travels. The sketch also bears more than a passing resemblance to Raiders Of the Lost Ark and the adventure serials that inspired it. The Days of the Week includes a parody of the final scene from The Graduate. Carl's Cuts is a fine parody of 1972 movie Deliverance - Martin Short almost steals the show with his impression of the scary banjo playing 'Kid from Deliverance.' For Finian's Rainbow Meats, check Finian's Rainbow.

Syndication Note: The LaRue Street Beef wrap was cut

DVD Note: The Days of the Week music from The Graduate was replaced

1 Commercial: DiMaggio's on the Wharf 105

If you can throw one past Joe, your meal is free.

Joe DiMaggio - Bill Murray; Vinnie DiMaggio - Short; Dom DiMaggio - Levy; Guests - extras; Punk - extra; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Soapy Maxwell "Sharp-edged suspense coming up on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


2 Street Beef Wrap 1: Caballero's Office

It's sweeps week, and they've got no programming. Johnny barges in with an expensive idea for a show. They instead opt to send LaRue out for another Street Beef. Prickley comes up with the topic: male go go dancers.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Edith Prickley - Martin; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Margo - extra

3 Commercial: Norman Mailer for Tyde 103

Norman Mailer washes Gore Vidal's tie with Tyde. "The best damn detergent in America"

Norman Mailer - Levy; Gore Vidal - Short; pitch man - Flaherty; party guests - extras

4 Talking Projector Adventure Series Part 1 103

Cuts straight in to the conclusion of a Jack Butler adventure story, in black and white.

Conclusion: Jack Butler Adventure Series

Jack gets out of a tough situation, saves Veronica and recovers the Ignafo gems.

Rock as Jack - Moranis; Linda as Veronica - O'Hara; Phil as Hassim - Flaherty; Arabs - extras

When the Jack Butler film ends, the lights come up to show a screening room, where Soapy Maxwell, the film's writer, along with the actors and director, have been watching it. While praising everyone else, Soapy trashes his own story as being too unrealistic and storms out. He is immediately kidnapped by a Nazi, Ludwig Fromlich.

Soapy Maxwell - Thomas; Rock - Moranis; Francois the director - extra; Linda - O'Hara; Phil - Flaherty; audience - extra; Ludwig Fromlich - Moranis; Mary Francis - O'Hara; Edward Carpentier - Flaherty; Nazis - extras

BUMPER Promo: Soapy Maxwell "The action continues after these messages." announcer - staff announcer


4a Talking Projector Adventure Series Part 2 103

Fromlich flies Soapy to Morocco to interrogate him about the location of the Ignafo gems, and doesn't believe Soapy's story that he made them up. Soapy is freed by Allied agents, Mary and Edward, who inform him that the gems are, in fact, real, and they rush off to Egypt to get the gems before the nazis. But Ludwig is waiting for them, grabs the gems and Mary, and puts Soapy in a trap. As Soapy desperately tries to come up with a way to escape, Fromlich grabs a cab back to Morocco to cash in on the gems.

Soapy Maxwell - Thomas; Ludwig Fromlich - Moranis; Mary Francis - O'Hara; Edward Carpentier - Flaherty; cab driver - Levy; Models - extras; Gem buyers, band - extras; Nazis - extras; Talking Projector - Candy

BUMPER Promo: Days of the Week recap announcer - staff announcer 105


BUMPER "This is the SCTV television network, quality programming for troubled times." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "We now return to our regularly scheduled programming on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

5 The Days of the Week episode 6: The Wedding 105

Rocco, Mrs McKay and Mojo arrive at the wedding. Mojo cries. Wainwright tries to ignore Rocco as Sabian arrives. Zach arrives posing as the violinist. Billy, best man, greets his mother as he walks up the aisle. Clay almost doesn't make it. Sue Ellen gets a lift to the church from her friends. Meanwhile, the Graduate races to get to the wedding in time, pausing to put air in his car tires, and running out of gas. Mrs McKay recognizes her son. Clay drops. Zach pulls a gun. The Graduate arrives to take pictures. Rocco pulls a gun. Cliffhanger ending.

Violet McKay - O'Hara; Mojo - Martin; Dr William Wainwright - Candy; Dr Elliot Sabian - Levy; Rocco - Flaherty; Clay Collins - Moranis; Zach Harrington - Thomas; Sue Ellen - O'Hara; Wayne - Hemphill; Billy McKay - Short; The Graduate - Bill Murray; usher - extra; soloist - extra; priest - extra; biker - extra;

BUMPER Promo: Street Beef "LaRue talks issues with the people of Melonville, next on Street Beef." announcer - staff announcer


6 Street Beef: The Big O Part 1

LaRue is in a bar. Johnny opts to talk about the big O instead of male go go dancers. No one wants to talk with him though. Donny comes over and talks to LaRue about the big O. He points LaRue to a couple of chicks who had the big O earlier that day.

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Donny - Bill Murray; chicks, bar patrons - Shelley Long, extras; crew - extras

7 Commercial: Lipschitz & Lipschitz 155

Foreign names for 49.95; single-syllable Domestic American, 129.95; Mayflower 400 series 299.99. "The first letter always comes free."

Leon Lipschitz - Moranis; Mr Pussman - Flaherty; Secretary - O'Hara; Priest - Thomas; wedding couple, guests - extras; Hippy father - Thomas; Hippy mother - Candy; son - Short

BUMPER Promo: TV Talk "Melonville's most outspoken television host, Bill Needle, is back with TV Talk, tonight on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


6a Street Beef: The Big O Part 2

Donny comes back with some t-shirts. He offers to be Johnny's bodyguard.

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Donny - Bill Murray; chicks, bar patrons - Shelley Long, extras; crew - extras

8 TV Talk with Bill Needle 147

Bill takes on AC Nielson and the ratings system. After getting some surprisingly good instant overnights, he congratulates Nielson on doing well at a difficult job. And he walks away.

The Bill Needle collection of shows: Stand Up and Be Counted; Theatre Beat; Royal Wedding Talk Back; Bill Needle's Hate Line; Bill Needle's Mail Bag; Sporting Life; Critic's Corner; The Wilderness Is for the Birds.

Bill Needle - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Carl's Cuts "Carl's Cuts delivers, next on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER


BUMPER "We now return to our regularly scheduled programming on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

9 Carl's Cuts: Free Delivery 122

Stock up on film and head cheese and remember, free delivery.

Carl and Fred load up a shipment of film and head cheese and head out to deliver. At the river, the kid from deliverance plays banjo. Fred and Carl paddle down river (Note: the Don Valley in Toronto), and stop for lunch. When Fred relieves himself, he is accosted by hillbillies. Carl saves him with head cheese. Fred doesn't make the same mistake they made in Deliverance. Carl wakes from his nightmare.

Carl Scutz - Moranis; Fred Scutz - Thomas; Kid from Deliverance - Short; Hillbillies - extras


2a Street Beef Wrap 2: Caballero's Office

Guy brings LaRue into his office to chew him out. Donny comes in and frisks Guy. Larue uses Donny as a bargaining tool. LaRue takes off and leaves Donny to make sure Guy behaves.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Donny - Bill Murray

10 Promo: SCTV After School Special: How Nosy the Short-Haired Terrier Dog got His Name 150

Two ladies tell the story of how Nosy the short-haired terrier dog got his name.

Gloria - Martin; Kitten - O'Hara; announcer - staff announcer

11 Commercial: The Wall Street Journal 134,172

Stay on top of things.

Businessman - Flaherty; Street freak - O'Hara; Bum - extra; Businessman - extra; Passersby - extras; announcer - staff announcer


12 Commercial: Finian's Rainbow Meats 94

If the meat doesn't have a rainbow on it, it's not Finian's.

Finian - Candy; Mother - Wilcox; Kid - extra

2b Street Beef Wrap 3: Caballero's Office

Donny tells Guy about some of his recent conquests and helps Guy with the programming schedule.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Donny - Bill Murray


Credits - Goodnight by Jimmy Durante; Announcer "Goodnight"