SERIES 5 CYCLE 4 - SCTV NETWORK

John Candy | Joe Flaherty | Eugene Levy | Andrea Martin | Martin Short

Series 5 Cycle 4

Directors: John Blanchard, John Bell
Writers: Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Mike Short, Bob Dolman, John McAndrew, Doug Steckler
Producers: Patrick Whitley, Nancy Geller


DVD Volume 4 (discs 1-3)

1 (106) Sammy Maudlin 23rd Anniversary/CBC
2 (107) Indecent Exposure
3 (108) Melonvote
4 (109) Jane Eyrehead
5 (110) Towering Inferno
6 (111) Christmas

SCTV now begins its programming day. Yes, SCTV is still on the air. Starring John Candy, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, Andrea Martin and Martin Short. This is the SCTV television network!
Narrator - staff announcer

Series 5 CastDown three cast members, SCTV just kept cranking out great shows. Moving to a six-episode production cycle, five of the episodes feature strong wraparounds, including two classics: Melonvote, and the janitor's strike that prompts Guy Caballero to transmit the CBC. The cycle is also replete with individual gems, such as the 3D House of Slavechicks, Stars In One, and The Happy Wanderers Salute to John Williams.

This is also the cycle in which Martin Short introduces virtually all of his most famous characters: Jackie Rogers Jr., Troy Soren, Brock Linehan, and of course, Ed Grimley.

While no new cast members were brought in, the cast was augmented with some players from The Second City Toronto mainstage, notably Mary Charlotte Wilcox and John Hemphill, both of whom would, by Series 6, become de-facto cast members. The cycle also features two guest appearances by former cast members. Harold Ramis shows up in Indecent Exposure, his first appearance since episode 2-3, as Allan 'Crazy Legs' Herschman, Chairman of the Board, while Catherine O'Hara more or less rejoins the cast for the Christmas show - it's like she never left.

1983 Emmy nominations/award:

  • outstanding variety, music or comedy program
  • outstanding directing in a variety or music program (Sweeps Week)
  • outstanding writing in a variety or music program (all 5 nominations in the category; Sweeps Week - winner; Jane Eyrehead; Towering Inferno; Christmas; Midnight Cowboy II)
  • outstanding individual achievement - special visual effects (Sweeps Week)

Best of the Best: Sammy Maudlin 23rd Anniversary/CBC, Melonvote

5/4 - 1 Sammy Maudlin 23rd Anniversary / CBC with Jayne Eastwood
Airdate: 5 November 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

Dick Bedlow

The janitors go on strike, shutting down the station, so Guy, drawing inspiration from the football strike, borrows programming from the CBC to keep SCTV going. Also features a memorable Maudlin show where William B walks off the show; he shows up later in the series with his own show. Another all-time classic.

SCTV had parodied Canadian film before, most notably with Power Play, but you have to wonder how they got an extended spoof of the CBC past the network. The Headline Challenge characters crop up again on Murray's File and Canadian Gaffes and Practical Amusements.

Additional Viewing: the CBC in the early 80s - The Journal, Frontpage Challenge, Hockey Night in Canada (which is Saturday, in case you were wondering), National Film Board shorts, the whole shlemozzle. Garth and Gord and Fiona and Alice is a brilliant parody of Goin' Down the Road, in which Jayne Eastwood reprises her role. Hinterland Who's Who was an extensive series of short films about Canadian wildlife, and the clips (including the Woodchuck) can now be viewed on the web at the Canadian Wildlife Service's Hinterland Who's Who website.

Syndication Note: The Journal and The Chair were cut in syndication, while Monday Night Curling and Sammy Maudlin were edited.

CBC Note: In the hour long CBC version of this show (which did not include the Maudlin segments - they were featured in a different episode), Monday Night Curling was an entire show, not just a promo, and featured a much longer Howie McMeeker segment. Moose Beer, meanwhile, was featured in two separate commercials - the beer parlour and Ken Taylor segments were edited together for the NBC show.

DVD Note: The Journal hunky boot report music was replaced

OPENING

1 Commercial: The Penolta M-X 142

Paparazzi Ron Gallela demonstrates the waterproof, built in motor drive, and timer features of the Penolta M-X camera in his pursuit of Jackie O. "It's super."

Ron Gallela - Short; Jackie O - Peggy Mahon; bodyguards - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Sammy Maudlin Show "Stay tuned for Sammy Maudlin's 23rd anniversary show with tonight's special guests Paul Anka, Lorna Minelli and Lon Chaney Jr., coming up next on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


2 The Sammy Maudlin Show: 23rd Anniversary Part 1 144

Paul Anka opens the show with a swingin' number ("My Way") in honor of Sammy. William B gives a heartwarming speech. They start with a clip from 1959.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show 1959

Lon Chaney Jr demonstrates rock throwing with a reluctant William B.

Lon Chaney Jr - Levy; William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty

Sammy has a good laugh at William B's expense.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Paul Anka - Short; Lorna Minelli - Martin

3 Bulletin: SCTV News Update

SCTV Janitors may go on strike.

Announcer - Staff Announcer

2 The Sammy Maudlin Show: 23rd Anniversary Part 1 continued144

William B is getting drunk. They bring out Lorna Minelli, who humiliates William B some more.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show 1973

Lorna Minelli is singing a song ("Ring them Bells") when a fly interrupts.

Lorna Minelli - Martin

Sammy and William B enjoy the clip so much, they show it again.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin

BUMPER "You're watching the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer


2a The Sammy Maudlin Show: 23rd Anniversary Part 2 144

The next clip is from a few months back, when Bobby brought the show right down.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show a few months back

Bobby Bittman has news that war has broken out in the Falkland Islands.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin

4 Bulletin: SCTV News Update 142

The Janitors have voted to strike, and the staff at SCTV will observe all picket lines.

Announcer - Staff Announcer

2a The Sammy Maudlin Show: 23rd Anniversary Part 2 continued144

The clip from a few months back continues.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show a few months back

Bobby Bittman sings a song ("O Island In the Sun") for the brave Falklanders.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty

Sammy remarks on how bad that clip was.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin

5 Strike Announcement 142

Sid, the Union Spokesperson for the janitors at SCTV, is fighting for a half-hour lunch, a pension, a six day workweek, no windows.

Sid Dithers - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer

6 Strike Wrap Part 1: Caballero's Office 142

Guy, watching Sid's announcement, takes inspiration from the football strike and comes up with a plan to weather out the strike.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Sid Dithers - Levy; Shirley (voice only) - extra

6a Strike Wrap Part 2: Studio 54 142

Edith, grooving at Studio 54 with Pierre Trudeau, takes a call from Guy.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Pierre Trudeau - Short; Dancers, waiters - extras; Andy Warhol - extra

BUMPER "You're watching SCTV, the station all of Melonville loves." Tommy Shanks - Candy "This is still the SCTV network." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "You're watching the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "You are still watching the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer

7 Message from Guy: CBC 142

Guy announces that SCTV will pick up the CBC feed from Canada.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Lola Heatherton (off-camera) - O'Hara; announcer - staff announcer

CBC BUMPER "This is the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation." Announcer - staff announcer142

8 PSA: Hinterland Who's Who: The Woodchuck 142

Announcer: Morley Markle - Candy

9 Promo: Monday Night Curling 142

Gord, Gord and Dick have all the exciting play-by-play; also featuring Howie McMeeker's pro-curling tips.

Gord McLellan - Levy; Gord McKee - Candy; Howie McMeeker - Short; Dandy Dick Bedlow - Flaherty; kids - extras; crew - crew; Announcer - staff announcer

10 It's a Canadian Fact: Thanksgiving 142

Our Thanksgiving comes first, in October, so we must have invented it.

Announcer - staff announcer; Canadian - Levy

11 Commercial: Ken Taylor for Moose Beer 143,175

The one beer you can't get in the States.

Ken Taylor - Short; Bar patrons - Wilcox, extras; mountie, passerby - extra; announcer - staff announcer; singer - Paul Flaherty

CBC on SCTV BUMPER Promo: Headline Challenge "Dougall Currie hosts the 35th season premiere of Headline Challenge." announcer - staff announcer


12 Headline Challenge part 1 142

Dougall introduces and engages in some banter with the panel before the first challenge - RCMP investigates personnel misconduct. Phillip gets it right away.

Host: Dougall Currie - Levy; Sondra Wicks - Martin; Austin McGrath - Short; Phillip Marks - Flaherty; Staff Sergeant Donald McAndrew - John Hemphill

8 PSA: Hinterland Who's Who: The Woodchuck (R) 142

Announcer: Morley Markle - Candy

13 It's a Canadian Fact: Niagara Falls 142

Our falls are bigger and better than those in the States.

Announcer - staff announcer; Canadian - Martin

12a Headline Challenge part 2 142

For the second challenge, the panel fails to identify a popular Canadian actor, even after taking off their masks and looking at him. Its Morley Markle, the announcer for Hinterland Who's Who.

Host: Dougall Currie - Levy; Sondra Wicks - Martin; Austin McGrath - Short; Phillip Marks - Flaherty; Morley Markle - Candy

CBC BUMPER "This is the CBC." Announcer - staff announcer142

CBC on SCTV BUMPER Promo: The Journal "Tonight on The Journal, a look at Canada's mosaic culture." announcer - staff announcer


l4 The Journal

Barbara tries to talk with Colonel Gadhafi, but he's busy with Ted Koppel. Barbara then has an item on the hungarian boot, from little Hungary. The boot's lack of availability in Canada is raised in Parliament by Joe Clark. Late breaking item: egg surplus in Ontario continues.

Barbara Frum - Martin; Mary Lou Findlay - Wilcox; Colonel Gadhafi - Levy; Hungarian waitresses - extras; Joe Clark - Flaherty; Pierre Trudeau - Short; MPs - extras; announcer - staff announcer

15 It's a Canadian Fact: Football 143

Contrary to popular belief, Canadian football actually has four downs, not three - but we always punt on the third down just to be safe.

Announcer - staff announcer; Canadian - Candy

CBC on SCTV BUMPER "You're watching the CBC...on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer 142


BUMPER "This is the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "Welcome back to more of SCTV." announcer - staff announcer

16 NFB Vignette: The Chair

A film by Norman McLaren. A chair moves to music. From the National Film Board of Canada.

crew - extra

17 CBC Tri-Promo: 143

Three great shows this season on the CBC.

The Rowdyman

A rowdy Canadian.

Rowdy guy - Candy; Cop - extra

Magnum PEI

Excitement and action on Prince Edward Island.

Magnum PEI - Candy; Potato thief - extra

Hello Metric, Au revoir Avoirdupois

Tips on using the Metric system, from Canada's queen of comedy.

Luba Goy - Candy

announcer - staff announcer

CBC BUMPER "This is the CBC." Announcer - staff announcer 142

6b Strike Wrap Part 3: Strike Negotiations 142

Prickley begins negotiating with Sid Dithers by having lunch - a bagel from a deli in NYC. Dithers starts to bend.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Sid Dithers - Levy

18 It's a Canadian Fact: Pearl Harbor 143

Canada declared war on the Japanese before the Americans.

Announcer - staff announcer; Canadian - Flaherty

CBC on SCTV BUMPER Promo: Garth and Gord and Fiona and Alice "We'll be right back with a Canadian film classic." announcer - staff announcer


19 Garth and Gord and Fiona and Alice 143

Garth and Gord (surgeon and lawyer) drive to Toronto from the Maritimes in search of lawyering and doctoring jobs. They pick up Fiona, a nuclear physicist, in Quebec, and run over a woodchuck being filmed for Hinterland Who's Who. They arrive in Toronto full of hope, but Garth's pal says things are slow and there are no jobs after all. They go to Yonge Street, where they meet Alice. Fiona finds a job setting up pins in a bowling alley. Gord gets Alice pregnant. They go to Yonge Street to think. Alice leaves Gord. They decide to head out to Alberta.

Music by Stompin' Tom Conners ('To It and At It'), Gordon Lightfoot ('Alberta Bound') and Paul Flaherty does a hard-rockin' cover version of 'To It and At It' (apparently as a parody of David Clayton Thomas).

Garth - Candy; Gord - Flaherty; Fiona Cournoyer - Martin; Alice - Jayne Eastwood; Hinterland director - Levy; irate hospital patient, staff - extra; CBC crew - extras; citizens of Toronto - themselves, eh?

20 Bulletin: SCTV News Update 143

A settlement has been reached in the strike.

Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Press Conference announcer - staff announcer


21 Press Conference 143

Guy announces the end of the strike. Prickley and Dithers field questions.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Edith Prickley - Martin; Sid Dithers - Levy; Bob Randall - Ron James; other press - extras

2b The Sammy Maudlin Show: 23rd Anniversary Part 3 144

Joined in progress.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show 1971

Sammy's singing "The Weight" when an earthquake hits, and William B gets crushed by a prop.

Lorna's fallen asleep and William B, now quite wasted, saying he doesn't want to drag down the ratings any further, walks off the show and falls into the cake on the way out.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin

BUMPER Promo: "Next week on SCTV, special musical guest, John Cougar." announcer - staff announcer


Credits

5/4 - 2 Indecent Exposure with John Cougar, Harold Ramis and Fred Willard
Airdate: 12 November 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

The wraparound deals with Guy's penchant for writing bad cheques. Harold Ramis, returning for the first time since he left the show in Series 2, and Fred Willard put in credible performances. Also features The Nutty Lab Assistant, with one of the most amusing Jeckyl/Hyde-type transformations ever filmed, another episode of Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town, and the first appearance of Las Vegas entertainer Jackie Rogers Jr.

Additional Viewing: The Nutty Professor, Jerry Lewis' 1963 comedy. The movie Guy is watching in his theatre is The Oscar, inspiration for The Nobel. 12 Angry Men, the 1957 classic starring Henry Fonda.

Syndication Note: Mrs Falbo's Tiny Town and LaRue Tachi were cut from syndication.

1 Promo: 12 Angry Men 98

Starring James Coco, Charles Nelson Reilly, Robert Q Lewis, Dom Deluise, Truman Capote, Quentin Crisp, Rip Taylor, Rex Reed, Peter Allen, Richard Simmons, John Gielgud and Scott Thorson.

Announcer - staff announcer; Voices - Short, Levy, extras; court guard - extra

2 Indecent Exposure Part 1: Caballero's Office (Sep 3 10:30am) 98

Guy needs some cash to finance some additions to his mansion, so he decides to write a cheque to Fred Willard, and endorse it himself.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Shirley (voice only) - extra

BUMPER "This is the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer


2a Indecent Exposure Part 2: Accounting Office (Feb 15 12:30pm) 98

Perini arrives to clean up the office as the others leave for lunch. Fred arrives at the accounting office to inquire about a cheque he never received for an appearance he never made on Farm Film Report. Earl arrives, so Fred turns to him for help. Earl sets up a secret meeting.

Perini Scleroso - Martin; Fred Willard - Fred Willard; Secretaries - extras; Accountant - John Hemphill; Earl Camembert - Levy

2b Indecent Exposure Part 3: Parking Garage (Feb 15 12:50pm) 98

Earl has a secret meeting with Fred Willard, where Willard reveals his suspicions. Earl informs Fred that only Caballero can issue checks. Fred asks Earl not to go public.

Fred Willard - Fred Willard; Earl Camembert - Levy; staff leaving the garage - Ron James, extras

3 Commercial: Krishna Sings Manilow 136,179

Buy it out on the street. 'I Write the Songs', 'Mandy', etc.

Krishnas - Levy, Flaherty, extra, extra; bystanders - extras; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: SCTV Movie of the Week "Later tonight, John Cougar stars in SCTV's Movie of the Week." announcer - staff announcer


4 SCTV News: Indecent Exposure (Feb 15 6:00pm) 98

Earl breaks the story about Fred's cheque. Floyd has an item that Mayor Tommy Shanks has been institutionalized.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

5 SCTV Movie of the Week: The Nutty Lab Assistant Part 1 113

The well-endowed Miss Purdy suffers indignities at the hands of her boss, the evil Dr Gunzelman. Ed is in love with Miss Purdy. He accidentally drinks one of the Doctor's potions, and undergoes a startling transformation.

Ed Grimley as Jack - Short; Boris Burgess as Dr Gunzelman - Candy; Senta Schneider as Miss Purdy - Martin; Priest - extra; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER


5a SCTV Movie of the Week: The Nutty Lab Assistant Part 2 113

Jack, transformed into John Cougar, goes to the Kit Kat Club. Dr Gunzelman is humiliating Miss Purdy in front of his colleagues; John comes to her aid and sings a song ("Jack and Dianne"). John transforms back into Jack during a reprise of Jack and Diane. Jack runs. Miss Purdy pursues him back to the lab, where she confesses she loves him for who he is, mostly.

Ed Grimley as Jack - Short; John Cougar - John Cougar; Boris Burgess as Dr Gunzelman - Candy; Senta Schneider as Miss Purdy - Martin; bartender - George Buza; John Cougar band; crowd, businessmen - extras; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Indecent Exposure "The plot thickens. Stay tuned." announcer - staff announcer


2c Indecent Exposure Part 4: Boardroom (Feb 16 10:00am) 98

The board members decide to get behind Caballero. The Chairman of the Board, Crazy Legs, arrives. Crazy Legs has decided to fire Guy. Rawl convinces the board to let Guy come and defend himself.

Allan 'Crazy Legs' Herschman - Ramis; Rawl Withers - Levy; Benny - Candy; Abe - Short; Sid - extra; Josh - extra; chauffeur, staff - extras

2d Indecent Exposure Part 5: Guy's Estate (Feb 16 2:05pm) 98

Guy's watching a film in his new East Wing when he gets a call from Crazy Legs. Allan notifies Guy of the meeting.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Allan 'Crazy Legs' Herschman - Ramis; Hobson the butler - extra

BUMPER Promo: Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town "A rainy day in tiny town, next." announcer - staff announcer


6 Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town: Rainy Day

It's a rainy day in Tiny town. Mr Messenger is somewhat unresponsive. They look at the atom. Mr Messenger carps about his wife. Behind the scenes, Mr Messenger explains his wife's not satisfied with him. Falbo suggests he do something constructive. He runs off and builds a chain reaction machine that flips a grilled cheese sandwich. The machine blows up.

Mr. Messenger - Candy; Mrs Falbo - Martin; crew - extras; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Count Floyd


2e Indecent Exposure Part 6: Boardroom (Feb 19 8:20ish) 99

Guy arrives at the meeting with some gifts for everybody, including a watch with legs that move around for Crazy Legs. And then confesses to writing the cheque and claims he's ashamed. And then a secretary comes in with bags of more bad cheques. Guy gets on his knees and blubbers. Crazy Legs lets him off.

Allan 'Crazy Legs' Herschman - Ramis; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Rawl Withers - Levy; Benny - Candy; Abe - Short; Sid - extra; Josh - extra; secretary - extra

7 Promo: Jackie Rogers: Swingin' With Mother Nature 77

Shot in 1970, Jackie Rogers' final doomed special. "She Loves Me" (he catches fire); "Animal Crackers" (nearly falls from a tree); and finally "Real Live Girl" (gets mauled by a cougar).

Jackie Rogers - Short; Backup Singers - extras; Jackie Rogers Jr - Short; Announcer - staff announcer

8 SCTV News Update: Indecent Exposure 99

Earl has an update on the cheque forgery scandal, and has a live feed with Guy Caballero. Guy makes a statement. Earl weeps.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Allan 'Crazy Legs' Herschman (photo only) - Ramis

BUMPER Promo: LaRue Tachi "Join Johnny and his gaggle of gerbils, next on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


9 Commercial: LaRue Tachi 1250-A with John Cougar

LaRue-Tachi has developed a new state of the art sound system, the 1250-A (not made in Korea). John Cougar demonstrates ("Hand to Hold On To") and steals his gerbils. "You're part of the sound."

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Gerbils - extras; John Cougar - himself; John Cougar band; announcer - a gerbil


2f Indecent Exposure conclusion (Feb 20 Happy Hour) 99

Guy wants to make up to Fred Willard. Fred tells him to wise up and leaves. Guy really wants to do something for him, so he arranges an around the world trip, and writes another cheque...

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Fred Willard - Fred Willard; Chauffeur - extra


Credits - Jack and Diane opening riff by John Cougar

5/4 - 3 Melonvote with Linda Hopkins
Airdate: 19 November 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

The second election episode, as covered by SCTV News Election Central. Also features the Shmenge's tribute to John Williams and the very first Stars In One, hosted by Brock Linehan, Martin Short's superb impression of Canadian celebrity interviewer Brian Linehan.

Additional Viewing: Brian Linehan's long-running interview show City Lights.

DVD Note: The John Williams music in the Happy Wanderers Salute has been replaced with vaguely similar polka music; Stars In One theme music ("Off Broadway" by George Benson) replaced, also requiring new announcer voiceovers.

1 Promo: SCTV News Election Central 100

Earl and Floyd promote their election coverage.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

2 Commercial: Vic Hedges for Mayor, Because Nobody's Perfect 100

Vic admits he's made mistakes in the past but promises there won't be any surprises if he's mayor.

Vic Hedges - Flaherty; press, cops - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Stars In One "Linda Hopkins joins Brock Linehan on Stars in One, later tonight on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


3 Commercial: Proposition 38 - Disposable Bottles 100

If they outlaw disposable bottles, only outlaws will have them. (Paid for by the National Glassproducers Association)

Announcer - staff announcer; Outlaw - Lou Pitoscia

4 Commercial: Libby Wolfson for councilperson 100

The voice of the people.

Libby Wolfson - Martin; people in the street, friends - Beverly Schectman, extras; Announcer - extra

5 The Happy Wanderers: Salute to John Williams Part 1 124

Stan and Yosh are doing a tribute to John Williams. Dressed in Superman costumes, they open with the theme from Superman. Stan tells us about John's early days in Leutonia.

Stan Shmenge - Levy; Yosh Shmenge - Candy; Happy Wanderers band - extras; crowd - extras

6 Commercial: Vic Hedges for Mayor, The Alternative 100

Vic shows a clip of Mayor Shanks' rampage on Nightline Melonville.

Clip: Nightline Melonville

Tommy Shanks - Candy; Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

Vic shows a clip of Shanks running after Earl, and suggests Shanks is a few bricks short of a load.

Vic Hedges - Flaherty; ethnic announcer - extra

BUMPER: "Citizens of the tri-city area, exercise your democratic muscle. Vote!" Announcer - staff announcer


7 Commercial: Troy Soren for Board of Education - He's Not Wrong 100

Troy Soren - Short; Wife - extra; kids - extras; announcer - staff announcer

5a The Happy Wanderers: Salute to John Williams Part 2 124

Yosh is in a shark costume as they play the theme from Jaws, then break for the commercial.

Stan Shmenge - Levy; Yosh Shmenge - Candy; Happy Wanderers band, crowd - extras

8 PSA: Voter Registration with the Shmenges 100

Register, then vote. Taste some freedom for a change.

Stan Shmenge - Levy; Yosh Shmenge - Candy; Polling booth attendant - Short; voters - extras

5b The Happy Wanderers: Salute to John Williams Part 3 124

Dressed "from the outer space," Stan and Yosh embark on the Star Wars theme.

Stan Shmenge - Levy; Yosh Shmenge - Candy; Happy Wanderers band, crowd - extras

BUMPER Promo: You! Announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER: "This is the SCTV television network." Announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER

9 Commercial: Tommy Shanks for Mayor - Get Him Out of There 100

From a hallway in a hospital, Tommy asks to get him out of there. "He'd be a great mayor anywhere, but get him out of there."

Tommy Shanks - Candy; hospital staff - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

l0 You!: Robert Wellesly 100

Libby is doing her show from a ghetto bachelorette to make a point. Libby's guest is her opponent for councilperson, Robert Wellesly. They are interrupted by a gun shot.

Libby Wolfson - Martin; Robert Wellesly - David Rasche; crew, cops - extras

Announcement: Schectman's Fabrics 100

Due to its political nature, the preceding program was paid for by Lenny Schectman.

Announcer - Levy

11 Commercial: Vic Hedges for Mayor, Because He Can Save this City 100

A farmer, woman and LaRue tell how Vic saved their lives. Vic has saved a lot of lives, and he can save this city.

Vic Hedges - Flaherty; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Farmer - Hemphill; Woman - extra; girls, bar patrons - extras; ethnic announcer - extra

BUMPER Promo: Melonvote "For update election coverage watch Melonvote with Floyd Robertson and Earl Camembert, tonight." Announcer - staff announcer


12 Stars in One with Linda Hopkins Part 1 109

Intro music ("Off Broadway" by George Benson from his 1980 album "Give Me the Night").

Brock Linehan - Short; Linda Hopkins - herself; crew - extras

13 Commercial: Mark Camden for District Attorney 100

Clip of current district attorneys the DeFilipo brothers in court. Paid for by the Committee to Defeat Dom and Vince DeFilipo.

Dom DeFilipo - Short; Vince DeFilipo - Levy; Lawyer - Hemphill; Judge, court - extras; Mark Camden (voice only) - Blasucci

12a Stars in One with Linda Hopkins Part 2 109

Brock asks some probing, detailed questions that are, alas, woefully off the mark. He starts crushing his crib sheet. Linda rather gracefully has a good laugh. They show a clip from her new film.

Clip: Balconies of Paradise

Grandma reflects on her past; flashback and a song ("You're Nobody 'til Somebody Loves You" by James Cavanaugh, Russ Morgan and Larry Stock).

Grandma - Linda Hopkins; grandson - extra; band - Joe Seely Trio; audience - extras

Brock has a small fracas with his researcher. Linda tries to sort it out with a reprise of her song. Note: Stars In One is a Johnny LaRue production.

Brock Linehan - Short; Linda Hopkins - herself; Researcher - Levy


14 Commercial: Vote No to Esperanto, Vote Yes to Proposition 12 100

Vote no to esperanto.

Esperanto Announcer - extra; Esperonto guy - John McAndrew; confused person - extra

15 Commercial: Mark Camden for District Attorney 101

Clip of current district attorneys the DeFilipo brothers defending their record ("There's no crime here!"). Paid for by the Committee to Defeat Dom and Vince DeFilipo.

Dom DeFilipo - Short; Vince DeFilipo - Levy; Mark Camden (voice only) - Blasucci; announcer - Flaherty

16 The Great Debate 100

Vic and Tommy (from the asylum) debate. Vic starts off by not bringing Tommy Shanks' mental condition into the debate, while Tommy Shanks wanders from being Adelaide Stevenson to JFK to Ron Reagan. But Shanks wins the debate by asking the public to ask themselves whether they would buy a used car from Hedges.

Moderator - Levy; Vic Hedges - Flaherty; Tommy Shanks - Candy; basketball players, audience, crew - extras

BUMPER Promo: Human Sexual Response


BUMPER


BUMPER

17 Commercial: Tommy Shanks - Get Him Out of There 101

A list of Tommy Shanks' impressive accomplishments. Tommy asks to get him out of there.

Tommy Shanks - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer; Inmates - extras

18 Human Sexual Response: Dating 77

Dr Kinsey has advice for teens on dating. Topics: How Do You Ask For a Date; Where Do You Go; How Do You Say Goodnight.

Dr Cheryl Kinsey - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer

19 Commercial: Skip Shanks for Dogcatcher 100

He'll catch a lot of dogs. And he's not riding on his brother's coattails.

Skip Shanks - Candy; Announcer - Levy

BUMPER Promo: "Robin Williams, next week on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


20 SCTV News Election Central Part 1 101

SCTV has all the projections (using computers provided by Harry's Sex Shop and Computers), predicting losses for Shanks and Wellesly.

Polling Booth with Troy Soren

Tawny Beaver interviews Troy at the polling booth; he has a low opinion of SCTV News.

Tawny Beaver - Martin; Troy Soren - Short; Wife, voters - extras

Earl updates the results for various propositions - Melonville has voted in favor of another nuclear dump site. Earl taps Jimmy the Greek for the odds on the vote. And they have surprising news that Libby Wolfson has conceded.

Wellesly Campaign Headquarters

Robert arrives with Libby. Libby interrupts Robert's victory speech to share some thoughts.

Gump Smithers - Short; Robert Wellesly - David Rasche; Libby Wolfson - Martin; crowd - extras

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Jimmy the Greek - Candy; staff, crew - extras; Announcer - Levy

BUMPER Promo: Melonvote "Stay tuned for more Melonvote election results on SCTV." Announcer - staff announcer


20a SCTV News Election Central Part 2 101

SCTV's projections are all turning out wrong. Earl and Floyd debate on what the result in the proposition to outlaw (or not, depending on the wording) disposable bottles means.

Polling Booth with Vic Hedges

Tawny Beaver asks Vic who he voted for.

Tawny Beaver - Martin; Vic Hedges - Flaherty; Press - extras

Mayor Shanks has won, and they have a live hookup.

Fireside Chat: Victory Speech

Tommy thanks us for getting him out of there, and feeds his stuffed dog pills and cough syrup.

Tommy Shanks - Candy

Earl reflects on what a Russian would have made of the day's events.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

BUMPER Promo: "America, next week on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


21 Sunrise Semester: Reptiles Part 4, The Snake with Ed Grimley 153

Ed discusses the snake and demonstrates with a live cobra.

Ed Grimley - Short

Credits - Wipeout by The Safaris


5/4 - 4 Jane Eyrehead with Robin Williams and America
Airdate: 26 November 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

Emmy nominated: outstanding writing in a variety or music program

Features a minor wraparound plot about Gus Gustofferson's crush on Edith Prickley. Notable sketches include The Bowery Boys in the Band, Jane Eyrehead and the timeless 3D House of Slavechicks. John Candy debuts a new character, playboy and serious actor Steve Roman, who would appear in most of the remaining shows of the season. (Dave Thomas has an additional material writing credit on this show.)

Additional Viewing: The Bowery Boys were originally an ensemble featured in a series of movies in the 40's and 50's, featuring Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hall. Bowery Boys In the Band is also a parody of the 1970 William Friedkin movie The Boys in the Band and the 1978 Michael Cimino film The Deer Hunter. Jayne Eyrehead, a fine parody of just about any BBC classic ever aired on Masterpiece Theatre, also somehow wanders onto the set of The Jack Benny Show.

Syndication Note: The Gus Gustofferson wrap was cut from syndication.

DVD Note: Curly no longer sings the theme from The Graduate.

Opening

1 Promo: Angel Cortez F.B.I. Jockey 113

The drama of criminal investigation combined with the excitement of the sport of kings. Steve plays a Mexican jockey, Angel, who investigates crimes at racetracks all across the country. He's mastered the Mexican accent.

Steve Roman as Angel Cortez - Candy; jockeys, thugs - extras; announcer - staff announcer

2 PSA: Public Library Association with Bobby Bittman 135

Bobby urges us to get our kids out to the library.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Kids - extras; librarian - extra; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Farm Film Celebrity Blowup announcer - staff announcer


3 Gustofferson Wrap: Security Desk

Juul signs in. He checks on the studio he's booked for the day. Prickley arrives and Gus signs her in.

Juul - Juul Haalmeyer; Edith Prickley - Martin; Gus Gustofferson - Levy

4 Commercial: An Evening with John Houseman 149

Houseman reads the phone book. The passion, glory, and the laughter. And yes, the tears.

John Houseman - Robin Williams; Wallace, Mrs Eleanor J - Martin; announcer - staff announcer.

5 Farm Film Celebrity Blow-Up: Danny Terrio 157

Danny moves and wiggles and does all those mobile things and then blows up. (Sign still says Farm Film Report.)

Big Jim McBob - Flaherty; Billy Sol Hurok - Candy; Danny Terrio - Short; High Fashion Girls - extras

BUMPER Promo: "The sound of America, next." announcer - staff announcer


3a Gustofferson Wrap Part 2: Security Desk, Rehearsal Studio

America shows up to rehearse in a studio rented for them by Prickley. Because the studio was rented by Prickley, Gus decides to kick Juul out of his studio. America sets up and does a number ("Right Before Your Eyes"). Gus sits down to watch and starts daydreaming about Edith.

Gus Gustofferson - Levy; America - Gerry Beckley, Dewey Bunnell, band; Juul Haalmeyer - Juul Haalmeyer; Juul Haalmeyer Dancers, pianist - Short, Blasucci, other writers, extras

BUMPER Promo: Movie of the Week "Robin Williams stars in tonight's SCTV Movie of the Week." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "You're watching the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER

6 SCTV Movie of the Week: The Bowery Boys in the Band 149

Slip is throwing a birthday party for his friend Troy when Slip's old friends Sach and Whitey drop by because of an emergency - Gabe is in trouble. Sach, Slip, Whitey and Louie rush off to east Asia. They find Gabe in a rough club playing Russian Roulette. Slip joins the game. They fight their way out and return to Slip's (No Goils Allowed).

Leo Gorcey as Slip Mahoney - Robin Williams; Louie Dumbrowski - Flaherty; Whitey - Candy; Sach Jones - Short; Gabe - Levy; Troy - Don Lake; party guests - extras; tough guys - extras; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: National Midnight Star announcer - staff announcer


7 National Midnight Star 146

Rawl, surrounded by People's Global Golden Choice award statues, starts with an editorial on slander.

Some headlines: Reggie Jackson changes name; Jerry Lewis has funny side. A convict travel agent is interviewed. A barber shop for owls is featured. Hitler is a short order cook in Missouri. Insider story: A close personal friend reveals Betty Thomas is no saint.

"Watch yourself - our insiders are everywhere"

Rawl Withers - Levy; Convict Travel Agent - Flaherty; Owl Barber - Levy; barber, clients - extras; Hitler - Martin; Close personal friend of Betty Thomas - Flaherty; Remy Martin - Martin; Correspondents - Candy, Short; diner - extra; announcer - staff announcer

8 Commercial: Harry's Discount Sex Shop: Scramble Days 98

Purchase an Earth station Receiver and a descrambler and get a plate of scrambled eggs. (Note: Harry kicks back to watch a blue movie on Ugazzo Vision)

Harry, the man with the snake on his face - Candy; Customer - Short; Announcer - extra; staff - extras

BUMPER Promo: Jayne Eyrehead "A reasonably faithful adaptation of Charlotte Bronte's classic romantic novel, Jane Eyrehead, next." announcer - staff announcer


9 BBC Classics Presents: Jane Eyrehead 146

Jane arrives at Mr Rochester's to be his daughter's governess. She is welcomed by Favisham, Mr Rochester's gentleman. Rochester admires her spunk. He warns her to not go to the third floor. Things go well. Time passes. She falls in love with Mr Rochester. He proposes. They get married, but the ceremony is interrupted by Rochester's brother-in-law, who claims his sister is locked in the attic. Jane runs away. Rochester's crazy wife burns down the house. Jane returns to find Favisham, who tells her where Rochester is, working for Mr Benny as his doorman.

Jane Eyrehead - Martin; Edward Rochester - Flaherty; Favisham - Candy; Minister - Levy; Brother in law - Short; Mrs Rochester - Wilcox; Simone - extra; Ink Spots - extras; Don Wilson, Phil Harris - extras; wedding guests - extras


10 Commercial: Church of Unlimited Credit

The church's new plans, including Dowry to Heaven and Club God. Join now and receive The New Testament from Evelyn Wood.

Reverend Gene Filler - Robin Williams

11 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: 3D House of Slavechicks 109

Count Floyd introduces the miracle of Smell-O-Rama - smell the perfume and the flavored lip gloss - and shows clips from the feature.

Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Slavechicks

Dr Tongue has sent invitations and a single flower to every good looking chick in the village. The barbecue goes quite well, with only a minor glitch courtesy of Bruno.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; slavechicks - extras

Floyd flogs his 3D Smell-O-Rama cans (19.95).

Count Floyd - Flaherty

BUMPER Promo: Towering Inferno "Towering Inferno. Coming soon to SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


12 Commercial: Curly Howard Sings the Great Movie Love Themes 145

Including "The Love Theme from Romeo and Juliet", "Theme from The Graduate", "The Godfather", "The Thomas Crown Affair". On the flipside, Curly sings the classics.

Curly Howard - Candy; Announcer - Levy

3b Gustofferson Wrap Part 3: Bar

Edith is unwinding at the end of the day. Gus asks if she'd consider being his girlfriend.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Gus Gustofferson - Levy; guys - extras

13 People's Court 110

Joined already in progress. Mr Jones painted his garage door so that it looked like it was open, and Mrs Jones is suing him. Mr Jones blames television - he was watching a Road Runner cartoon. The Judge gives an unusual sentence.

Judge - Short; Mrs Jones - Martin; Mr Jones - Flaherty; Court - extras; Host - Levy; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER


10a Commercial: Church of Unlimited Credit 149

The Reverend makes one last pitch. His son Biff has a testimony.

Rev. Gene Filler - Robin Williams; Biff Filler - Short

Credits - music from Angel Cortez

5/4 - 5 Towering Inferno with Banda Brava
Airdate: 10 December 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next episode

Emmy nominated: outstanding writing in a variety or music program

SCTV moves its studio to new digs in the recently built tallest building in the world, which also happens to be topped by a revolving restaurant on top of a nuclear reactor. Also features the first appearance of Yolanda Devillbis, host of the very local news update, Melonville Calendar. Other gems include Divine as Peter Pan, and another episode of Earl's One On the Town.

Additional Viewing: Well, Towering Inferno. The swingin' music at the Towering Inferno party is Route 101 by Herb Alpert. Let's Find Jerzy, a particularly obscure sketch, was based on a revelation that novelist Jerzy Kosinski was fond of hiding at the houses of friends he visited (thanks mfaust).

Syndication Note: When Wives look Older Than their Husbands, Let's Find Jerzy and Shakespeare for College Credit were all cut from syndication. Towering Inferno was edited. Peter Pan was edited.

1 Commercial: Peter Pan Live at the Melonville War Memorial Auditorium 150

Divine stars as the irrepressible Peter Pan.

Divine - Candy; David Steinberg as Hook - Short; kids, pirates, stagehands - extras; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Paramutual News "Coming up: a special report from Paramutual News. Paramutual, the bad news network." announcer - staff announcer


2 Paramutual News Special Report 120

Ms Beaver has a report from the opening of the tallest building in the world. She interviews the architect, Gabriel Delray, who is on his way to the opening party in the revolving restaurant on top of the nuclear reactor. Apparently, SCTV is the only tenant so far.

Tawny Beaver - Martin; Mr Gabriel Delray - Levy; bystanders - extras; announcer - staff announcer

3 Towering Inferno Part 1 120

Guy arrives to meet the press and give them a tour of SCTV's new facilities. They visit Studio A, where the director is trying to shoot a western in cramped quarters. Guy runs for it.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Deiter (Director) - Candy; Assistant - Short; press, crew - extras

4 Commercial: Al Peck's Used Fruit 110

Al's selling fruit and giving away tickets to Circus Lupus. No lemons.

Al Peck - Levy

BUMPER Promo: Paramutual News "Stay tuned for the opening night festivities at Johnny Nucleo's Top of the Reactor restaurant on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


5 Promo: There's Justice for Everybody 120

Steve Roman stars as Juan Cortez, the first Puerto Rican justice of the Supreme Court. He's mastered the Puerto Rican accent. It's got good actors, and that spells good acting.

Steve Roman - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer; Judges - extras

3a Towering Inferno Part 2 120

The opening night festivities at Johnny Nucleo's Top of the Reactor restaurant. Guy toasts Johnny Nucleo and the owner of the building, Ms Rayburn. Rayburn and Delray talk. Guy sneezes, and then takes in the view. Prickley and Tongue arrive and chat. Woody chats up a hooker without realizing it. Johnny adds fuel to the reactor. In the men's room, Tongue tries to fill Woody in about the girl he's trying to score. A small fire starts in the basement.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Gabriel Delray - Levy; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Hooker - Mary Charlotte Wilcox; Edith Prickley - Martin; Rayburn - Martin; Johnny Nucleo - Short; Vinnie the Nuclear worker - Hemphill; partygoers, Mr and Mrs Thatcher - extras


6 PSA: Kid Sisters 124

Kathy Tudor of Pre-Teen World helps out an older woman.

Kathy Tudor - Martin; Sheila - Wilcox; Psychiatrist - extra; kids - extras

3b Towering Inferno Part 3 121

The party is really swingin' (to "Route 101" by Herb Alpert). Guy gets a phone call from security, and announces that a small fire has broken out in the basement. The architect jumps for it. Guy takes a look outside and declares "towering inferno!"

The fire chief (Charlton Heston) arrives, and declares the building too cheap to withstand the flames. Some more guests jump for it. Heston tries to conceive an alternate rescue plan, without much success.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Architect - Levy; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Hooker - Mary Charlotte Wilcox; Edith Prickley - Martin; Prickley's double - extra; Rayburn - Martin; Johnny Nucleo - Short; Charlton Heston - Flaherty; Trumpet Player - Dick Blasucci; singer, band, partygoers, firemen, cops, bystanders - extras

BUMPER Promo: One On the Town announcer - staff announcer


7 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Four For Texas 145

Once again, Floyd's film hasn't come in, so he's stuck boosting "Four For Texas" by the Rat Pack.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Crew - Dick Blasucci

3c Towering Inferno Part 4 121

Johnny Nucleo suggests escaping through the reactor. Guy takes the stairs. Heston goes to Burger King, and comes up with the alternate plan. As they escape through the tunnel, Nucleo discovers heavy water leaking from the reactor.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Hooker - Mary Charlotte Wilcox; Prickley's double - extra; Johnny Nucleo - Short; Charlton Heston - Flaherty; firemen, burger king workers - extras

BUMPER Promo: Towering Inferno "Hang on to your cliffs for the exciting conclusion of the Towering Inferno." announcer - staff announcer


3d Towering Inferno Part 5 121

They arrive at the reactor. Rayburn has a classic villain moment and plunges into the reactor pool. The rest escape down the fire pole, while Johnny stays to keep the reactor from melting down. Guy finally reaches ground floor via the stairs. Heston and the firemen execute the alternate plan, accidentally flinging Nucleo into space. He blows up near Japan. Heston gives a stirring speech. Woody still isn't convinced the hooker is a hooker. Prickley gets a crane shot. Nucleo meets Godzilla.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Hooker - Mary Charlotte Wilcox; Prickley's double - extra; Edith Prickley - Martin; Johnny Nucleo - Short; Vinnie the Nuclear worker - Hemphill; Charlton Heston - Flaherty; King Biscuit - extra; firefighters, crowd - extras

BUMPER "You're watching the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER

8 One on the Town: Urban Transit 159

Earl takes a hard-hitting look at urban transit, including bicycles, walking and subways. He interviews a parking lot attendant and tries to talk to a commuter. The upside to urban transit? The cop on the beat will spend less time giving tickets. But the cop on the beat kicks him off the street.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Cop - Hemphill; crew - extra; Duane the parking attendant - extra; announcer - staff announcer


9 Promo: When Wives Look Older Than Their Husbands

The tragedy continues in Part 7: Farm Wives. A wife who looks older than her husband reflects on how it affects them.

Leonard - extra; wife - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

10 Promo: Let's Find Jerzy

Contestants vie to find Jerzy in the living room first. (Studio audience is from Revenge.)

Jerzy Kosinski - Flaherty; host - Short; contestants - extras; announcer - staff announcer

11 Shakespeare for College Credit

Plays are generally divided into three parts: entry, staying there, and leaving. He discusses the three phases.

Professor - John McAndrew


12 Melonville Calendar: Clean-Up and Fix-Up Day

Yolanda runs through the week's items, including clean-up and fix up day, a new street sign, etc.

Yolanda Devillbis - Martin

13 Words to Live By with Mr. Mambo 127

When things get you down, mambo!

Mr Mambo - Candy; Banda Brava - band; announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Andrae Crouch "Andrae Crouch, next week on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


Credits - theme from Let's Find Jerzy

5/4 - 6 Christmas with Catherine O'Hara and Andrae Crouch
Airdate: 17 December 1982

Back to top Previous episode Next cycle

Emmy nominated: outstanding writing in a variety or music program

SCTV's second Christmas show, as Johnny LaRue loses his crane and tries to recapture the Christmas spirit. Catherine O'Hara guests, featuring in Lola's The Love Spirit, Count Floyd's Scary Christmas Special, You! and Pre-Teen World. Also includes the classic Shmenge Christmas.

Syndication Note: The Johnny LaRue wraparound was cut from the syndicated episodes, along with Christmas - That's All. Pre-Teen World was edited.

DVD Note: Gene Upshaw and Ed Garvey's song on Count Floyd's Scary Little Christmas has been replaced with various frightening sound effects.

1 Message From Guy: Annual Rendition of Noel

Guy sings The First Noel, but is interrupted when LaRue barges in complaining about his Christmas bonus. LaRue demands a cash bonus. They fight. Gus breaks it up.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Gus Gustofferson - Levy; Guy's singing voice - Paul Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

2 LaRue Wrap: The Crane

They take LaRue's crane away. LaRue asks Gus for money. He explains how he got his crane the year before.

Clip: Street Beef 1981 (R4)

Johnny gets a crane shot.

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Santa Claus (voice) - Candy

Gus suggests Johnny go back and get some more.

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Gus Gustofferson - Levy; crew - extras


3 Promo: Lola Heatherton's The Love Spirit 129

Lola's got a great new special with Juul Haalmeyer. They look at love past.

Clip: Christmas Meets Lola 1965

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Juul Haalmeyer - himself; dancer - Short

They look at love's present, and think about love's future. And what do you know, this is Lola's first Christmas in love...with Juul!

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Juul Haalmeyer - himself; The Juul Haalmeyer Dancers - Short, Bob Dolman, Doug Steckler, Chris, extras

4 Promo: The Fella Who Couldn't Wait for Christmas 129

Ed can't wait for Christmas.

Ed Grimley - Short; Grimley's dad (voice only) - Short; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Count Floyd's Scary Little Christmas "Look out for Count Floyd's Scary Little Christmas special." announcer - staff announcer


5 Commercial: Rex and Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Dog Outfits

Edna's replaced Tex with a dog. She's got dog outfits for any occasion.

Edna Boil - Martin; Rex, Butch, Lady, dogs - dogs

6 Promo: Count Floyd's Scary Little Christmas 130

Floyd's going to tell scary stories, and will be joined by his guests Lucille Ball ("Christmas"), the Kid from Deliverance (banjo solo), and making their singing debut (Awoooo!), NFL Player's Association representatives Ed Garvey and Gene Upshaw ("Bring Back that Loving Feeling"). They have a roundtable discussion about about football player salaries.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Lucille Ball - O'Hara; The Kid from Deliverance - Short; Ed Garvey - Levy; Gene Upshaw - Gene Mack; kids - Kathleen and Matthew Wallace, Gudrun Flaherty, extras

BUMPER "Johnny LaRue continues his quest for the gift of Christmas, later tonight." announcer - staff announcer


Christmas BUMPER

2a LaRue Wrap Part 2: The Street

LaRue returns to where Santa showed up last year, only to find a construction site. He sits down to wait.

Johnny LaRue - Candy

7 Commercial: The Driftwood Inn - Christmas Specials 129

Why spend Christmas at home when you can go to the Driftwood. Chef Kwong's special: Cantonese boneless turkey. Christmas package: 3 days and one night. Swimming, in season.

Announcer - Levy; diners - Martin, Levy; Chester and Gert Watt - extras; Chef Kwong, mom, obedient staff - extras

8 Fireside Chat: Lighting of the Melonville Christmas Tree 130

Mayor Shanks lights the tree, and shakes fake snow on a stuffed dog.

Tommy Shanks - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer

BUMPER Promo: Happy Wanderers "Celebrate Leutonian Christmas with the Shmenges, coming up." announcer - staff announcer


9 The Happy Wanderers: Christmas Day With the Shmenges 130

Stan and Yosh show us a traditional Leutonian Christmas. Morning starts with Yosh arriving at Stan's for breakfast, bearing the traditional egg, which symbolizes the Christmas breakfast. They eat the Falutniks. They admire the tree, and put the hat on the tree. The women and children leave so that the men can exchange socks. Then they walk to Yosh's house for the presents. Don't get caught under the Christmas budgie! Christmas dinner features a turkey-sized cabbage roll and coffee.

Stan Shmenge - Levy; Yosh Shmenge - Candy; kids, wives, uncles - extras

10 Promo: Pre-Teen World Christmas 129

Special get ready for Christmas special. Matthew and Kathy make Christmas cards; Paul shows how to budget your Christmas spending; they sing carols at the Floyd Robertson Correctional Institute for Boys ("Carol of the Bells") before being pushed off by the inmates (who sing "Little Drummer Boy").

Alexis Shannon - O'Hara; Stephan Seely - Candy; Matthew Wallace - Flaherty; Kathy Tudor - Martin; Paul Rey - Levy; pre-teen - Short; kids - St Michael's Boys Choir

BUMPER Promo: Andrae Crouch "Gospel and Andrae Crouch, next on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer


2b LaRue Wrap Part 3: Men's Mission

LaRue is still waiting. He passes out. Andrae Crouch shows up and convinces LaRue to go to the Melonville Men's Mission. LaRue despairs at reaching the bottom of the barrel. Crouch sings a song ("Soon and Very Soon"), and then mysteriously disappears. LaRue goes back outside feeling uplifted. Santa shows up with a gift and LaRue turns him down. And then quickly changes his mind and runs after him (following the light...).

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Andrae Crouch - himself; down and outs - extras; Santa - Candy; Santa's gift - extra

BUMPER Promo: You! "Libby Wolfson takes a look at the feast of lights...coming up on the You're Beautiful show." announcer - staff announcer


BUMPER "Together via satellite: Christmas and SCTV." announcer - staff announcer 129


Christmas BUMPER

11 SCTV Super Special: Christmas - That's All

Bobby (in Atlantic City) and Jackie (in Las Vegas) do a show together via satellite. Opening number: 'Tomorrow'. Bobby does a routine. His opening act, The Zambenies (jugglers) comes out. Bobby takes a pin to the head. Jackie picks up the slack with 'She Loves Me' and introduces his mother. Bobby's back. They do 'Don't Cry for me Argentina'.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Jackie Rogers Jr - Short; Mrs Jackie Rogers Sr. - extra; The Zambenies, crew - extras; announcer - staff announcer; dancers - extras

12 You!: Chanukah 129

Libby and her friend Sue get back to their Jewish roots (Sue is even using her Jewish name Bopstein) and discuss Chanukah.

Libby Wolfson - Martin; Sue Bopper Simpson - O'Hara

13 Commercial: The Driftwood Inn - New Year's Eve Specials 130

New Years Package. Party in the Beachcomber Room. Chef's special: Duck ling-a-lings. Check-out time has been extended to 10AM.

Announcer - Levy; diners - Flaherty, extra; Chester and Gert Watt - extras; Chef Kwong, mom, staff - extras


2c LaRue Wrap Part 4: Caballero's Bedroom

Gus arrives to tell Caballero that LaRue has disappeared. Prickley and Grimley also show up, worried about LaRue. Then Lola and Juul show up, also worried about LaRue. The light passes through the room. Johnny runs in. A Christmas Carol ending.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Gus Gustofferson - Levy; Edith Prickley - Martin; Ed Grimley - Short; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Juul Haalmeyer - Juul Haalmeyer; Johnny LaRue - Candy; butler - extra

Credits - Oh Christmas Tree (instrumental version)