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Series 2
Director: George Bloomfield
Head Writer: Harold Ramis (1-16), Joe Flaherty, Dave Thomas
Writers: Brian Doyle Murray, Jim Fisher, Jim Staahl
Producers: Andrew Alexander, Bernie Sahlins
There were six people who loved to watch television. But they didn't like what they saw. So they decided to do something about it. Armed with determination and a strong will to change the course of television, they wrote their own shows. Classy shows! But they knew that wasn't enough. They had to sell them. Letting nothing stand in their way, they went straight to the networks. But the networks just weren't ready for them. Not NBC, not CBS, not even ABC. But did that stop them? No! They built their own network: SCTV! And they liked what they saw. But they weren't the only people watching. Yes, SCTV was on the air!
Narrator - staff announcer John Stocker
With the second series, the show gets a new, more professional bumper and logo, along with a new theme song ('Freestyle', which would be used up until cycle 2 of Network 90), and the classic opening segment featuring John Candy lobbing a television out of the window. The production standard also appears to be higher - the show looks less cheap.
Harold Ramis, already in Hollywood writing screenplays, helped to write the first 16 episodes but only appears in shows 2-1 and 2-3. His departure resulted in the passing of Moe Green as station manager, to be replaced by inimitable Edith Prickley. The leopard-skin-clad dynamo was a perfect choice. At the same time, Guy Caballero comes into his irascible own as the owner and President of SCTV. He storms onto the screen in a Panama suit and a wheelchair "for respect", rolling over anybody who gets in his way. These two, possibly SCTV's most beloved and identifiable characters, anchored the show right through its run (and beyond).
Series 2 features some of the very best shows ever done, including the 30th Anniversary, the Solid Gold Telethon, Fantasy Island, and On the Waterfront Again. However, Ramis' writing productivity is missed; the series ends with some weaker shows and two best ofs.
Best of the Best: Bob Hope Desert Classic, Solid Gold Telethon, Municipal Election, SCTV 30th Anniversary, Fantasy Island, On the Waterfront Again
2-1 Premiere
Airdate: 16 September 1978
  
As the show starts, the scripts are not finished. The first on-screen appearance of Guy Caballero, in a wheelchair (which he uses for respect) with a phone. And, seemingly out of nowhere, Lola Heatherton appears, fully formed, in her first special.
Additional Viewing: 70s TV series The Love Boat and The Incredible Hulk.
1 SCTV Editorial: The New Season
Moe introduces the new season. Good news - their license is no longer suspended. Caballero phones; there's a problem - the writer hasn't finished the scripts.
Moe Green - Ramis; Guy Caballero (voice only) - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer
2 Ernest Kirsch, SCTV Writer
Caballero pesters Kirsch for the scripts. First on-camera appearance of Guy Caballero (in a wheelchair that has a phone).
Ernest Kirsch - Thomas; Guy Caballero - Flaherty
3 Promo: Lola Heatherton In Concert
The beautiful, dynamic, multi talented Lola in concert this Saturday. ("So Glad to Be Here," "You Light Up My Life") "I want to bear all your children!"
Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Dancers - Flaherty, Levy, Thomas; announcer - Levy
4 Promo: Love Craft
A rich American divorced lady and her daughter take a cruise aboard the Love Craft. She may fly the Greek flag, but the comedy is international. ("You want special? Toast that kaiser!")
Captain Alki Stereopolis - Flaherty; Sailors - Levy, Thomas; American Divorcee - O'Hara; Daughter - Martin; Announcer - Candy, staff announcer; other vacationers - Candy, extras
5 Commercial: Water Spray from Pocketpic
Great new device for cleaning teeth. "Smile again."
Pitchman - Levy; Happy user - Candy
6 SCTV News: Informal chit-chat
Earl tries to lighten the newscast with chit-chat. Floyd has an item on mudslides in Togo and Tarzan accepting the help of mercenaries, and gets Earl to cut back the chit chat.
Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy
7 Words to Live By with Rev. Ernest Kirsch
Kirsch tries to end the programming day a little early. Caballero calls him up and orders him back to his basement.
Ernest Kirsch - Thomas; Guy Caballero (voice only) - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer
8 The Incredible Bulk
At his psychiatrist's office, Bulk meets a woman he can relate to.
Doctor - Martin; Mr Bigsby (Bulk) - Candy; Receptionist - O'Hara; Mrs. Strickler - O'Hara; Mr Bigsby (as himself) - Thomas; announcer - Levy
9 Commercial: Moxwell House Decaffeinated Coffee
The stock-boy has trouble stacking tins of juice.
Stock-boy - Thomas; Margaret Hamilton - Martin; Demons - Kathleen and Matthew Wallace
10 Feedback with Moe Green
Moe has a call-in show. Moe solicits feedback on the new season, and is forced to make some calls instead.
Moe Green - Ramis; Mr Dunston - Levy
2a Ernest Kirsch SCTV Writer Part 2
Caballero pursues Kirsch to get those scripts. Caballero signs off.
Ernest Kirsch - Thomas; Guy Caballero - Flaherty
Bob Hope hosts his own celebrity golf tournament, this time in the deserts of the Middle East, even doing a walk on during Masterpiece Theatre to promote it. Bob is joined by a raft of Mid-East personalities, Lou Jaffe does the play by play, and SCTV Sports Central provides some background. Meanwhile, Monster Chiller Horror Theatre returns with the second Dr. Tongue feature, 'House of Wax.'
The show marks the introduction of Thomas' celebrated Hope impression, which he would eventually perform on an actual Bob Hope special; Thomas continued to do the impression long after SCTV left the air, most recently on Primetime Glick. The Desert Classic also introduces another long-running character - Flaherty's Charleton Heston.
Additional Viewing: The Bob Hope Desert Classic (now the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic) is an annual PGA golf tournament.
1 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: The House of Cats
Floyd shows some clips from the three-dimensional semi-classic. Floyd is selling the 3D glasses for 27 bucks.
Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Cats
Dr Tongue transforms women into cats. (The 3D technique is not quite perfected at this point.)
Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Dr Tongue - Candy; Alicia - O'Hara
Count Floyd - Flaherty
OPENING
2 SCTV Sports Central: Desert Classic
Coverage of the Bob Hope Desert Classic begins with some background on Bob's golf career.
Keith Hampshire - Thomas; Phyllis Gumble - O'Hara
3 Commercial: Delay
Have your headache when you want it.
Husband - Candy; Wife - Martin; Guests - Thomas, Levy, 2 extras for dates
4 Betty Bain: Professional Juror
Betty takes jury duty seriously, sacrificing her family life.
Betty Bain - Martin; Husband - Levy; Child - extra; Jurors - Flaherty, Thomas, O'Hara, Peter Wildman, extras; Defendant (voice-over only) - Thomas; Prosecutor (voiceover only) - Flaherty; Defendant's lawyer (voiceover only) - Levy; Judge - Candy
5 Promo: Masterpiece Theatre: Naughty Chambermaids
Alistair's introduction is interrupted by a walk on by Bob Hope plugging his special.
Alistair Cook - Flaherty; Bob Hope - Thomas
6 Bob Hope Desert Classic
Bob and Lou host this star-studded golfing event. Begin has a bad lie, and argues with Arafat. King Fahud shows Lola how to hold her putter. Charlton Heston helps Golda chip through a pipeline. Arafat occupies the 12th hole, while Begin takes the 13th fairway. Lou gets lost off the 18th hole.
Lou Jaffe - Levy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Menachim Begin - Flaherty; Yasser Arafat - Levy; King Fahud - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Jack Nicklaus - Candy; Cheap Bogie - Flaherty; Golda Meir - Martin; Charlton Heston - Flaherty; Richard Nixon - Flaherty; American businessman - Candy; Announcer - Candy; miscellaneous Arabs - extras
Station Manager Moe Green is kidnapped by Lutonians. Harold Ramis' last appearance on the show. K-Tel Salvador Dali Car Stash Wax provides the obvious answer to the question "what do you do when your Linkin Mercury Dali Edition's moustache starts to droop?"
Additional Viewing: Donna parodies Dinah Shore's 70s daytime talk show Dinah!
1 SCTV Editorial: Lutonian Liberation Front
Moe Green declares publicly that he won't back down to threats from the Lutonian Liberation Front.
Moe Green - Ramis
OPENING
2 Donna: Barbara Streisberg
Joined in progress. Donna's guest Barbara Streisberg tries to sing a song.
Host: Donna - O'Hara; Barbara Streisand (Streisberg) - Martin; Chef - extra
3 Promo: Master Sergeant Chef
The sergeant prepares dinner for the ambassador and his party.
Sergeant Chef - Thomas; Ramone - Levy; Michel - Candy; Andre - Flaherty; Renee - extra; announcer - staff announcer
4 SCTV News: Moe Green Kidnapped
An outbreak of legionnaire's disease breaks out in Hawaii; Plattsburg cleanup; and Earl keeps forgetting the Moe Green kidnapping item - he's been kidnapped by Leftists for Lutonia. To finish, Earl gives an editorial about the kidnapping.
Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy
5 Commercial: Cup 'n Soup
The cup you cook up with the soup.
Mother - Martin; Daughter - O'Hara
6 Petty Claims Court
Various petty people make petty claims to the bailiff.
Bailiff - Levy; Announcers - Flaherty, O'Hara; Man who wants 50 cents back - Candy; Alcoholic - Thomas; Bag lady - Martin
7 Commercial: Linkin Mercury Dali Edition
Dali abandons function for concept.
Salvador Dali - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer
8 Commercial: K-Tel Salvador Dali Car Stash Wax
Save the mustache on your Linkin Mercury Dali Edition car.
Harvey K-Tel - Thomas
9 Promo: SCTV Movie of the Week: Nice Kids from Hell
Some nice kids terrorize the neighborhood.
Husband - Flaherty; Wife - Martin; Nice kids: Kitten - O'Hara; Mort - Candy; Herb - Levy; Tony - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer
10 SCTV News Bulletin: Message from Moe Green
A tape from Moe Green has arrived after SCTV refused to pay the excessive $2000 ransom. Earl and Floyd discusses it.
Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy; Moe Green - Ramis
Sammy Maudlin, Bobby Bittman and Johnny LaRue anchor the show-length star-studded charity telethon. A great celebrity schmooze fest. The Solid Gold Telethon marks the first of three telethons SCTV would air in an attempt to get cash from viewers; it was followed by Pledge Week in Series 4, and the very final SCTV episode, Pledge Week in Series 6.
The Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme duet is an almost note-for-note parody of Jackie and Roy's rendition of the tune "You Smell So Good", a jazz classic. (Thanks Charlie R)
OPENING
1 SCTV Solid Gold Telethon Part 1
SCTV turns to public support as Sammy hosts a telethon encouraging people to send in their gold. Bobby and Johnny co-host. Bobby takes the audience to task for their middling reception, while Johnny offers a challenge to keep drinking heavily until they reach their goal. And they do a number.
Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer; people on the phones - extras
BUMPER
2 Commercial: Beef and Booze Restaurant
Just Beef and Booze. No wimpy salads.
Waitress - Martin; Wimp - Thomas; Tough guys - Flaherty, Levy, Candy, extras
1a SCTV Solid Gold Telethon Part 2
Sammy thanks Bob Dylan for stopping by and checks the tote board. Sammy gives a speech and then has a chat with Lola and Captain Combat, who is encouraging kiddies to bring their parents gold down to the station. Steve and Edie do a number. LaRue and Bittman bring things down with the Solid Gold poster child.
Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Captain Combat - Thomas; Gunny Rabbit - Candy; Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme - Thomas and O'Hara; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Howard, the poster child - extra; announcer - staff announcer
3 Commercial: Max Lax Coffee Laxative
Your guests will notice the difference.
Hostess - Martin; Guests - extras
1b SCTV Solid Gold Telethon Part 3
Perini Scleroso helps out with the phones. Sammy checks the tote board and the results are disappointing. Bittman takes the audience to task again.
Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Perini Scleroso - Martin
1c SCTV Solid Gold Telethon Part 4
We rejoin the telethon already in progress, as Lorna Minelli finishes "Over the Rainbow". Johnny, now quite hammered, donates his weight in gold. They check the tote board and the goal is reached. Sammy, LaRue and Bobby do a closing number, and Sammy breaks down. The staff announcer thanks everyone who contributed; roll credits.
Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin; Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme - Thomas and O'Hara; announcer - staff announcer
Something of a sequel to the first episode as Ernest Kirsch, SCTV writer, goes on strike, disrupting regular programming. At SCTV News, Floyd and Earl are forced to write their own copy. Caballero (still in a wheelchair with a phone) starts a tradition of giving speeches to the camera - as the show progressed, he would become more and more verbose, but here he's brief and to the point.
OPENING
1 Restless Doctors
An episode of the daytime drama is interrupted when they run out of cue cards and have to improvise, leaving everyone desperate to get off the stage. Caballero arrives, furious, and goes in search of Kirsch, the writer.
Nurse Jennifer - O'Hara; Nurse Meg - Martin; Dr Michaels - Levy; cue card man - Candy; Frank the patient - Thomas; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer
2 SCTV News Bulletin: Writer Strike
Floyd has a bulletin: writer Ernest Kirsch has gone on strike, but Guy Caballero insists programming will continue, though he can't guarantee its quality.
Floyd Robertson - Flaherty
3 Master Ralph Roister Doister
A Medieval sitcom.
Ralph Roister Doister - Thomas; Wife - O'Hara; Sheriff - Flaherty
4 Commercial: Palmoval
With special acid-based compounds to burn away grease.
Edith Prickley - Martin; Woman with dishpan hands - O'Hara
5 SCTV News: Thesaurus
Floyd and Earl have to write their own items because of the strike; Earl uses a thesaurus while Floyd tries to be hard-hitting.
Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy
6 LaRue by Night Part 1
Johnny's written his show on some cocktail napkins. Johnny talks to Perini, who starts to ham it up. Others turn and run as Johnny approaches. Johnny plugs Angelo Rosato's restaurant supplies.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Perini Scleroso - Martin
7 Commercial: Harlett Romances
"We'll show you what real love is all about."
Avid Reader - O'Hara; Coworker - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer
6a LaRue by Night Part 2
Johnny gets a gift of some fish, and Angelo Rosato arrives with a note pinned to his forehead.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Angelo Rosato - Tony Rosato (?)
8 Ernest Kirsch SCTV Writer
Caballero confronts Kirsch and resolves the strike by giving Kirsch a union, but not what Kirsch was thinking of; Caballero, much more concise in the early episodes, closes with this remark: "Unions are the work of the devil. Thank You".
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Ernest Kirsch - Thomas; Tony the Union Steward - Candy
 Earl Camembert faces a conflict of interest as Johnny LaRue's campaign manager as SCTV News covers the municipal elections and Johnny's run for council.
Additional Viewing: The 1978 TV miniseries The Bastard, starring Tom Bosley; 70s sitcom Three's Company.
Earl managing Johnny LaRue's campaign while covering the election results for SCTV News appears to be based on the case of Lisa Howard (1926-1965), a U.S. news reporter and anchor with ABC News since 1961, and anchor of the 5-minute midday "News with the Woman's Touch" since 1963. In the fall of 1964, Ms. Howard and other New York liberals (including writer Gore Vidal) organized a group called "Democrats for Keating," supporting the re-election of GOP incumbent Senator Kenneth B. Keating (1900-1975) against his Democratic opponent, Robert F. Kennedy (1925-1968); before long, she became its co-chair. ABC was not buying her claims that she could cover the race impartially while simultaneously working with this group, and on Sept. 29, 1964, she was suspended without pay from the news division over what they deemed "public partisan political activity" and violation of their news standards; after the November election, she was fired outright, with her political activities being the final straw (she had been on thin ice with news VP Jesse Zousmer (1912-1966) since the spring, after battles with management over the editing and tone of a special she hosted about Cuba and its leader Fidel Castro). Ms. Howard filed a $2 million defamation suit against the network over what she saw as the damage to her name and reputation caused by her dismissal, but the state Supreme Court threw out her case in January 1965; thereafter she fell into a deep depression, exacerbated by a miscarriage in the spring, and she committed suicide by drug overdose on Independence Day 1965. Her saga is covered in the book Waiting for Prime Time: The Women of Television News by Marlene Sanders (who took over the "News with the Woman's Touch" newscast after Ms. Howard was fired), co-written with Marcia Rock and published in 1988. [Thanks William Brown]
1 Commercial: Johnny LaRue for City Council
Johnny makes his pitch for city council. And he denies that he's gay. Paid for by the Sicilian Homophile Society.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Wife - O'Hara; Children - extras; announcer - staff announcer
2 Promo: The Silly Bastard
Andrew travels to England to find his real father.
Andrew, the Silly Bastard - Thomas; Mother - O'Hara; Tom Bosley as Ben Franklin - Candy; Printer - Levy; Woman - Martin; announcer - staff announcer
3 SCTV Election Central Part 1: Highlights from The Great Debate
SCTV News coverage of the election begins with some highlights of the debate between candidates.
Clip: The Great Debate
Earl, Johnny's campaign manager, is the moderator. Jack wants to face the ultimate political confrontation; Shirley wants a political theater; and Johnny proposes a bird sanctuary/casino.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Jack Brown - Thomas, Shirley McLennan-Black - O'Hara
Early returns come in with LaRue far behind.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Election Central staff - Peter Wildman, extras
4 Promo: One Is Enough
When you're Barbie Somers, one is definitely enough.
Barbie Somers - O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer
5 Commercial: Moxwell House Decaffeinated Coffee (R)
The stock-boy has trouble stacking tins of juice.
Stock-boy - Thomas; Margaret Hamilton - Martin; Demons - Kathleen and Matthew Wallace
3a SCTV Election Central Part 2: Statistics
Earl has some election statistics.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Election Central staff - Peter Wildman, extras
6 Commercial: Career Home Study
The next time you buy some matches, don't just pick your teeth with them.
Don Mair - Thomas
3b SCTV Election Central Part 3: LaRue's Speech
Earl is at Johnny's campaign headquarters to get Johnny's reaction to his defeat (he's bitter). Note: Johnny's slogan is Legalize LaRue.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Johnny LaRue - Candy; campaigners, Election Central staff - Peter Wildman, extras
Features several sketches with an arab element (Guy's pitch for Arab investment - 'You won't regret it effendis'), the first Farm Film Report where the catchphrase "blowed up good" is used, and the first 'Message from Guy,' firmly imprinting the garrulous SCTV owner and president as a mainstay of the show. Farm Film Report meets Arabia in the classic How the Middle East Was Won, which reunites the trio of Richard Harris, Richard Burton and Peter O'Toole, last seen together in The Man Who Would be King of the Popes from Series 1.
Additional Viewing: The Wind and the Lion (1975) meets Lawrence of Arabia (1962) in How the Middle East Was Won; 50s TV series The Millionaire.
OPENING
1 Message from Guy: Arabs
Guy (still in a wheelchair with a phone) welcomes oil rich Arabs to the community of nations and invites them to invest heavily in SCTV.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Announcer - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer
2 Farm Film Report
Big Jim's guest critic Billy Sol Hurok reviews The Red Hat. He gives it a good review, cause they blow up the king at the end. And then they blow up.
Big Jim McBob - Flaherty; Billy Sol Hurok - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer
3 Commercial: Cup 'n Soup (R)
The real cup you cook up with the soup. (Note: soundtrack added to this version)
Mother - Martin; Daughter - O'Hara
4 The $Millionaire
The Millionaire is flat broke and reduced to giving away 50 bucks. His male secretary takes the heat from the Adamly family who aren't impressed by 50 bucks. But a wealthy Arab arrives to save the day. Next week, The Millionaire From Mecca.
Michael Anthony, Male Secretary - Candy; John Beresford Tipton, (Ex)Millionaire - Flaherty; Adamly family - Thomas, O'Hara; Arab - Levy; announcer - staff announcer
5 Falcons and Oysters
Bob clears up some myths about falcons and oysters.
Host: Bob Bond - Thomas; Contestants - Flaherty, O'Hara
6 Speaking of Talk with Lou Jaffe
Lou interviews one of the greatest announcers in the business, Harvey K-Tel, and finds out they went to the same school.
Lou Jaffe - Levy; Harvey K-Tel - Thomas; Studio Engineer - Candy; extras
7 Commercial: Grease from LaRue Enterprises
Get rid of grease by using grease.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Housewives - Martin, O'Hara, extras
8 Commercial: How the Middle East Was Won
Various English suitors try to convince the Mufti to do things their way, and then they blow up.
Richard Harris (Hariss) as Gordon of Khartoum - Thomas; Richard Burton (Berton) as Sir Richard Burton - Candy; Peter O'Toole (O'Tool) as Lawrence - Flaherty; Candice Bergen as the Woman Who Loved the Mufti - O'Hara; Sean Connery as the Mufti - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer
2a Farm Film Report Part 2
Big Jim and Billy Sol like what they see in How the Middle East Was Won. And then they blow up.
Big Jim McBob - Flaherty; Billy Sol Hurok - Candy
The episode is more or less split in two, with the first half featuring the in-depth exploration of comedians 'The Mirthmakers', while the second half sketches all feature happy endings.
1 The Mirthmakers with Orson Welles: Part 1
Orson takes an in-depth look at comedians.
Orson Welles ('Orsan Welles')- Candy
2 Commercial: Max Lax Coffee Laxative (R)
Your guests will notice the difference. (Note: soundtrack added in this version)
Hostess - Martin; Guests - extras
1a The Mirthmakers Part 2
Orson interviews Bobby Bittman and Cheryl Kinsey to better understand comedians.
Orson Welles - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Dr Cheryl Kinsey - Martin; crew - extras
3 SCTV News: Happy Endings
Earl finds a happy ending to all his items. Mayor Tommy Shanks is referred to in one item.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; crew - extras
4 Commercial: Modular Shoe Kit from K-Tel
Keep up with the latest shoe fashions.
Gerry - Levy; Bert - Candy; Partygoers - Thomas, Flaherty, Peter Wildman, extras; Announcer: Harvey K-Tel - Thomas
5 Chinese Fairy Tales with Lin Ye Tang
Lin rebels against happy endings.
Lin Ye Tang - Thomas
6 SCTV Triple Feature Movie Part 1
Drums of the Congo Swamp Rats, Desert Rat Drums and Drum Rats In Outer Space are featured.
Heroine - O'Hara; Swamp Guide (Robert Mitchum) - Flaherty; Desert Guide (John Wayne) - Candy; Space Guide - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer
7 Commercial: Pit Stop Deodorant 144
For women who do the job of men.
Jan Wilson, professional Race Car Driver - Martin; Mechanics - Candy, Levy; Announcer - staff announcer
6a SCTV Triple Feature Movie: Happy Ending Conclusions
Drums of the Congo Swamp Rats, Desert Rat Drums and Drum Rats In Outer Space all end happily.
Heroine - O'Hara; Swamp Guide (Robert Mitchum) - Flaherty; Desert Guide (John Wayne) - Candy; Space Guide - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer
The first appearance of gameshow host Alex Trebel, hosting the high school quiz show High Q.
Additional Viewing: The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau, the long-running nature show from the 60s and 70s.
Second City notes: Marriage Counsellor originated in the 1976 revue For a Good Time Call 363-1674, Thomas and O'Hara reprising their respective roles here.
OPENING
1 Me and You and Yoga and Me
The legs and green pea tea.
Dana Yogahanson - Martin; announcer - staff announcer
2 Commercial: Water Spray from Pocketpic (R)
Great new device for cleaning teeth.
Pitchman - Levy; Happy user - Candy
3 High Q
First topic: authors, and Margaret jumps on the question before it is asked, several times. Bridgeman buzzes but backs out. Mifsud almost gets it right and contests it. Next topic: music. Margaret jumps on the question again. Bridgeman buzzes and backs out again. Townsend answers correctly, but it's Richmond's turn. Cathy then gets it wrong. The audience gets disruptive. Trebel loses his cool.
Alex Trebel - Levy; Parkdale: Margaret Meehan - O'Hara; Peter Townsend - Candy; James Bridgeman - Flaherty; Richmond: Leonard Mandel - Thomas; Cathy Mifsud - Martin; Bruce Moffat - Peter Wildman; Announcer - staff announcer
4 Commercial: LaRue Towers
Johnny wants to be your landlord. It's cheap and it's got character.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Tenants - Flaherty, O'Hara, extras
5 Marriage Counsellor
Mr Tander didn't come to the session, so Mrs. Tander speaks for both of them. Then the counsellor plays himself and Mrs Tander while she plays Mr Tander. Then the counsellor plays the couple while Mrs Tander plays the counselor. Finally she plays all the roles.
Dr Tom - Thomas; Mrs Tander - O'Hara
6 Commercial: Botch and Lamb Soft Contact Lenses
Get rid of those glasses. "The eyes have it".
Woman with glasses - Martin; Date - Levy; people with glasses - Candy, O'Hara, Thomas; announcer - staff announcer
7 Jacques Cousteau's Undersea World
Jacques wonders what lies in the well. Renee and pierre make the descent while Jacques makes some calls. They come up empty-handed.
Jacques Cousteau - Flaherty; Announcer - Candy; Renee - Thomas; Phillipe - Levy; Pierre - Candy
Edith Prickley is named station manager, replacing the kidnapped Moe Green. (Guy still has the chair with the phone.)
Additional Viewing: the 1976 blockbuster Jaws.
OPENING
1 Shoot at the Stars
The lucky contestant gets to shoot all three celebrities.
Host: Jeff Edwards - Levy; Contestant: Tom - O'Hara; John Rutter (John Ritter) - Thomas; Chalo (Charo) - Martin; Robert Groulet (Robert Goulet) - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer
2 SCTV News: Earl's Editorial about his neighbors
Bad News Bears suspended; marijuana and liquor cause disorientation; Edith Prickley's appointment as Station Manager is announced; Earl gives an editorial carping about his neighbors.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Edith Prickley (photo only) - Martin
3 Message from Guy: Edith Prickley Station Manager
Guy introduces SCTV's new station manager. Edith announces her plans for station programming: boobs, bums, good-looking hunky guys, and no more sports.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Edith Prickley - Martin; announcer - staff announcer
4 Jaws 23 Part 1
Amity has a problem: a lack of sharks. The mayor calls a town meeting. So Quint tells a chilling story about mackerel.
Mayor Vaughn - Thomas; Police Chief Brody - Levy; Billy Sol Hurok - Candy; Other Hick - O'Hara; Disappointed Woman - Martin; Quint - Flaherty; girl, townspeople - extras; Announcer - staff announcer
5 Sunrise Semester: Town Pride with Paul Fistinyourface
Paul has some tips about keeping your town free of bad men.
Paul Fistinyourface - Candy; announcer - staff announcer
6 Promo: Sore Losers
A lawyer takes it the wrong way when a judge rules against him.
Lawyer Ted Gordon - Thomas; Judge - Flaherty; defendant - Candy; bailiff - Peter Wildman; announcer - staff announcer
7 Words to Live By with Edith Prickley
Prickley announces some more of her plans; Guy's not too pleased.
Edith Prickley - Martin; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer
Features the show-length, star-studded salute to SCTV's 30th anniversary, with some great parodies of 50's television.
Additional Viewing: Branded, the 1965 TV show starring Chuck Connors; and What's My Line?, the long-running 50s panel show. While Kirk Douglas made two appearances as a mystery guest on What's My Line? (in 1953 and 1960), he was never a guest panelist (his second wife, Anne Buydens, did appear as a guest panelist on a 1966 show, however). Coincidentally, Andrea Martin, like Arlene Francis, is of partial Armenian descent, while Catherine O'Hara, like Dorothy Kilgallen, is from an Irish-Catholic family. The opening sequence of What's My Shoesize? has more in common with the 1968-75 syndicated version of What's My Line? (Thanks William Brown)
OPENING
1 SCTV 30th Anniversary Show Part 1
The evening's hosts are introduced, and Earl and Floyd start things off by introducing an excerpt from a 1952 hearing featuring Earl's dad.
1952 Hearing on Un-American Activities
Earl's dad rats on his grandmother.
Merle Camembert - Levy; Congressmen - Thomas, Candy; Merle's Lawyer - extra; Audience - extras
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Lin Ye Tang - Thomas; Cheryl Kinsey - Martin;
2 Commercial: Palmoval (R)
With special acid-based compounds to burn away grease.
Edith Prickley - Martin; Woman with dishpan hands - O'Hara
1a SCTV 30th Anniversary Show Part 2
Lin Ye Tang and Johnny LaRue introduce excerpts of classic westerns that were cancelled by the FCC for excessive violence.
Clip: Yellowbelly
Johnny LaRue as Yellowbelly - Candy; Mother - O'Hara; Child - extra; bystanders - extras
Clip: The Old Texas Rangers
Sheriff - Thomas; Deputy - Flaherty; Kids - extras
Clip: Liverboat
Captain - Levy; Cardsharp - Flaherty; Card-player - Candy; Kitty - Martin; bystanders - extras
Lin Ye Tang - Thomas; Johnny LaRue - Candy;
3 Commercial: Delay (R)
Have your headache when you want it.
Husband - Candy; Wife - Martin; Guests - Thomas, Levy, 2 extras for dates
1b SCTV 30th Anniversary Show Part 3
Cheryl Kinsey and Lola Heatherton introduce the classic panel show "What's My Shoesize?".
What's My Shoesize?
Panelists fail to guess the shoesize of contestant Barry Stubing (size 16)
Dorothy Kilgallen ('Kilpatrick') - O'Hara; Bennett Cerf ('Cerb') - Thomas; Arlene Francis ('Franklin') - Martin; Kirk Douglas ('Dugglis') - Flaherty; Host: John Charles Daly ('Bailey') - Levy; Contestant: Barry Stubing - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer
Conclusion.
Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Dr Kinsey - Martin
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Lin Ye Tang - Thomas; Announcer ("John Speakers") - staff announcer
Several sketches featuring some occult element provide a very loose wraparound concept for the episode, anchored by an avant-garde episode of Monster Chiller Horror Theatre.
Additional Viewing: Whispers of the Wolf is a parody of films by Ingmar Bergman, including The Silence (1963), Persona (1966), and Cries and Whispers (1972). For another Bergman parody, see Scenes from an Idiot's Marriage, starring Jerry Lewis.
US Syndication Note: Career Home Study rerun was dropped.
OPENING
BUMPER Promo: "Tonight on Monster Chiller Horror Theatre, SCTV presents Whispers of the Wolf" announcer - staff announcer
1 Mr. Science: Acid and Electricity
Mr Science has problems with Damien, who wants to learn about acid and electricity.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Damien - extra; announcer - staff announcer
2 Commercial: Career Home Study (R)
The next time you buy some matches, don't just pick your teeth with them.
Don Mair - Thomas
3 SCTV News: SCTV is Haunted
Floyd has a story about the station being haunted. Earl laughs it off, but starts hearing voices. Floyd has a final scary news item.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty
4 Fireside Chat: Firewood
Mayor Shanks discusses the weather and cedar firewood. He gives a milkbone to a stuffed dog.
Mayor Tommy Shanks - Candy; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER: "This is SCTV, your scary television network." announcer - staff announcer
5 4th Degree
Chuck grills Gerry Brown.
Chuck Clark - Flaherty; Governor Gerry Brown - Thomas; O'Donovan - Candy
6 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Whispers of the Wolf
Floyd presents Whispers of the Wolf.
Ingmar Bergman's Whispers of the Wolf
Stockholm 1966. Two sisters are depressed and have difficulty dealing with reality.
Desk Clerk - Levy; Sisters - O'Hara, Martin; Midget - extra
Floyd's a bit stunned, but gamely tries to convince us it was scary. He suspects Prickley booked Bergman.
Count Floyd - Flaherty
BUMPER: "This is SCTV, channel 109. In Sweden, the Philippines and Australia, cable 5." announcer - staff announcer
7 Words to Live By with Mulciber Arimaspians
Mulciber, high priest of the local coven, encourages evil and blows up; Billy Sol and Big Jim like what they see.
Mulciber Arimaspians - Thomas; Big Jim McBob - Flaherty; Billy Sol Hurok - Candy; announcer - staff announcer
Features Sid Dithers Private Eye and the superb Bad Acting In Hollywood.
Additional Viewing: Bad Acting In Hollywood is a parody of That's Hollywood, a late 70s TV show hosted by Tom Bosley that looked at historic Hollywood films (mostly from 20th Century-Fox) (Thanks Jim Donato). Johnny Dark Always Rings Twice parodies 30's and 40' gangster films; start with Little Caesar from 1931. The Phil Donahue Show, which ran through the 70s and 80s, was the precursor of all modern daytime talk shows. C.P.O. Sharkey was a mid-seventies sitcom starring Don Rickles.
OPENING
1 Promo: Donahue in the Morning
Donahue talks about sex and other stuff, but mostly sex. (Note: was actually called 'Donohue in the Morning')
Phil Donahue - Thomas; Studio audience, guests - possibly Tony Rosato, extras; Announcer - staff announcer
2 Sid Dithers Private Eye
Sid tracks down the daughter of Mr Steele from San Francisco to a prostitution ring in Beverly Hills. Notes: San Francisky? So how did you came, did you drove or did you flew?
Sid Dithers - Levy; Wes Steele - Flaherty; Maxine - Martin; Bobby, Maxine's son - Thomas; Mr Steele's daughter - O'Hara; waiter, customers - extras
3 Promo: U.F.O. Sharkey
Don Rickles investigates UFOs and makes racist remarks. "It's a valid idea."
Don Rickles ('Rinkles') as Sharkey - Candy; Mexican - Flaherty; Hick - Thomas; Indian - Levy; Black guy - extra; Announcer - staff announcer
4 Enough About Me: Maureen Jolly
Katherine talks with a woman who's returned from Africa, and is promoting her book 'Almost Black Like Me.'
Katherine Timber - O'Hara; Maureen Jolly - Martin
5 Promo: Fish Police
"Stop or I'll cast!"
Woman who loses watch - O'Hara; Fish Police - Thomas, Levy, Candy; Announcer - staff announcer
6 Commercial: Biller Hi-Lite
Maxy and Jake discuss their favorite beer. 'Less taste!' 'Better calories!'
Maxy Stein - Flaherty; Jake Primo - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer
7 Bad Acting in Hollywood with Tom Boslee
Tom hosts a look at one of Hollywood's worst films.
Johnny Dark Always Rings Twice
Johnny Dark is tried for murder, his mother joins him on the stand, his alibi turns states, but it's all interrupted when the Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor.
Johnny Dark - Flaherty; Judge - Candy; Ma Dark - Martin; Johnny's Girl - O'Hara; Defender - Levy; Prosecutor - Thomas; Crowd, Jury - extras
Tom has some closing comments. Closing credits: Hooray for Hollywood.
Host: Tom Boslee - Candy
Additional Viewing: Alfred Hitchcock Presents, the 50s anthology series hosted by the man himself, and the 1955 episode "The Cheyney Vase" (thanks A. Julien). Murder Is Bad For Your Health is also (possibly) a parody of the 1948 film An Act Of Murder, starring Florence Eldridge and Fredric March (thanks Dusty Towne); Cecil and Cynthia appear again in Series 3's Gaslight.
OPENING
1 Only for Women: Divorce
Today's topic is divorce, and the guest is newly divorced Patricia Donovan, who has redecorated frequently in the past few months. They gain strength from each other.
Host 'Chris' - Martin; Patricia Donovan - O'Hara
2 SCTV Movie of the Week: Hats of the West
Sundance Kid is confronted about his hat by a stranger.
Bartender - Candy; Sundance Kid - Thomas; Sheriff - Levy; Saloon patrons - Tony Rosato, Peter Aykroyd, extras; Hat salesman - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer
3 Promo: Consumer Concern
Fire-proof clothes. The show for conscientious consumers.
Host: Patsy Manuel - O'Hara; Chuck, the man with the fruit suit - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer
4 Commercial: Long Distance 119
A woman carps about not receiving any calls from an old friend. 'Get the long distance feeling, before it's too late.'
Complaining woman - O'Hara; Angry neighbors - Candy; Concerned Neighbor - Martin; Bystanders, ambulance men - extras; Announcer - staff announcer
5 SCTV Sports Special Presentation: Melonville Snooker Championships
Lou Jaffe makes the call at the snooker championship. Lou talks to Alki and Lenny before the match. Alki breaks. A fight breaks out.
Lou Jaffe - Levy; Lenny 'Golden arm' Bouchard - Candy; Alki Stereopolis ('The Greek Hustler') - Flaherty; Alki's chick - Martin; Goldenarm's chick - O'Hara; Guy at bar - Thomas; Crowd - extras
6 Alfred Hitchcock Presents Introduction
Hitch introduces tonight's show.
Hitchcock - Candy
7 Commercial: The Devil's Towering 10-G Upsidedown Inferno
Pitch man - Thomas; Happy riders with flat faces - extras
6a Alfred Hitchcock Presents Part 2
Tonight's mystery (not nearly as good as Psycho).
Murder Is Bad for Your Health
Cecil brings Cynthia to the top of a cliff to toss her over the side. But she proves difficult to kill.
Notes: Written and produced by Ernest Kirsch
Rodney Cockney as Cecil - Flaherty; Lucy Parpouzian as Cynthia - Martin
Hitch sums up with a quick re-enactment of his best films.
Alfred Hitchcock - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer
Additional Viewing: Midway, the 1976 film about the pivotal Pacific War battle.
OPENING
BUMPER Promo: Fighting Air Dogs announcer - staff announcer
1 Promo: Undercover Policewoman
Undercover but on the job.
Paprika Anderson - O'Hara; Cops - extras; Suspect - Tony Rosato; Sarge - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer
2 SCTV News: Marijuana
Earl's a bit high and has the munchies.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty
BUMPER "This is SCTV, the Second City Television Network, ma'am." announcer - staff announcer
3 Commercial: Daylea Yogurt
Interviewer - Thomas; Anna Karmalov - Martin; Olga Demetrov - O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer
4 Promo: Masterpiece Theatre: Three Programs
Alistair plugs some of the productions coming this season.
Clip: The Lincoln-Douglas Debates
Lincoln - Flaherty; Douglas - Thomas; audience - extras
Clip: Mohicans Galore
Hawkeye - Thomas; Mohican - Levy; Settlers - Flaherty, Candy; Other Mohicans - extras
Clip: Cretin's Island
Cretin - Flaherty; Skipper - Candy; Millionaire - Levy; His Wife - Martin; Movie star - O'Hara; Professor - Thomas
Host Alistair Cook - Flaherty
5 Commercial: Mike's Mercenaries from Amco the Toy People
Have fun planning your revolutions with Mike's Mercenaries.
Announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "This is SCTV, channel 109, in Melonville, Grimsby and Plattsburgh, cable 5." announcer - staff announcer
6 SCTV Movie of the Week: Fighting Air Dogs over the Pacific
An American flyboy triumphs over his craven Japanese nemesis.
American Pilot - Candy; Japanese Pilot (Lin Ye Tang) - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer
Phil from Phil's Nails (later the Garment King) is a send-up of Phil Givner, who did similar commercials for his carpet outlet back in the 70's in Toronto.
Additional Viewing: William Castle was a director of B-movie thrillers that usually featured a gimmick of some sort. His 1961 film Mr Sardonicus featured The Punishment Poll, a gimmick whereby the movie audience could vote to determine how the movie would end. The Amazing World of Kreskin, the early 70s mentalist show hosted by the Amazing Kreskin.
OPENING
1 The Amazing Kretin
The Amazing Kretin amazes with feats of mental agility. But Big Jim and Billy Sol figure he can't blow up.
Kretin - Thomas; Young Lady - Martin; Big Jim McBob - Flaherty; Billy Sol Hurok - Candy; studio audience - extras; Announcer - staff announcer
2 The Heys of Our Lives
Hey, it's a soap opera.
Man - Flaherty; Woman - O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer
3 SCTV News: Cash Prison Concert
Earl interviews some inmates about Johnny Cash playing at the Melonville state pen.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Prisoners - Candy, Thomas, extras
4 Commercial: Phil's Nails
He's putting nails in his own coffin with this sale.
Phil the Garment King - Levy
5 William Castle Presents: Agatha Christie's Death Takes No Holiday
Passengers are quickly knocked off on a train while Poirot investigates.
William Castle polls the audience on how they would like the mystery to end, but is interrupted by Poirot and Mrs. Christie.
Hercule Poirot - Candy; Agatha Christie - Martin; Jack Blake, Chicago Tribune - Levy; Mr Middleton - Flaherty; Reverend Ian Innis - Thomas; Countess - O'Hara; William Castle - Thomas; Steward - Tony Rosato; passengers - extras
Features the first Tex and Edna Boil Organ Emporium commercial, while Bob Clark in the Mailbag segment is a very similar character to Bill Needle, who would take over the Mailbag in series 3.
Additional Viewing: Mind Games includes a neat little parody of the 1966 film Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, starring Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. They parodied the film again (in a radically different way) in Fast Talking Playhouse.
OPENING
1 Cooking with Prickley Part 1
Prickley cooks with the aid of a Rhythm Ace, and introduces her sister who will let us know where to get one.
Edith Prickley - Martin
2 Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Rhythm Ace
Tex and Edna are offering a deal on the Rhythm Ace (195.95). Four miles of organs, open 24 hours. This weekend is cookout weekend, where Tex will be cooking up piggies on the grill.
Tex Boil - Thomas; Edna Boil - Martin
1a Cooking with Prickley Part 2
The turkey comes out perfectly.
Edith Prickley - Martin
3 Promo: Masterpiece Theatre: Burlington Central Library production of Hamlet
Cook promotes the Burlington Library Production of Hamlet and shows a clip. The production is not without logistical problems.
Alistair Cook - Flaherty; Hamlet - Candy; Gertrude - O'Hara; The King - Flaherty; Laertes - Levy; Audience - Thomas; Librarian - Martin; miscellaneous people - extras
4 Commercial: Mind Games
The new game where you play mind games on your spouse and friends; complete with touchy subject cards, playing board, timer, and tranquilizers. 'The game that keeps people awake all night.'
Stan - Levy; Cynthia - Martin; George (Richard Burton) - Thomas; Martha (Elizabeth Taylor) - O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer
5 SCTV News: Earl's Wisdom Tooth
Melonville Savings and Trust heist. Earl has an impacted wisdom tooth and can't be understood, so Floyd takes his items. Floyd makes him laugh with the next item.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty
6 PSA: Stop Smoking
Lola makes a less than successful pitch to get people to stop smoking.
Lola Heatherton - O'Hara
7 Commercial: Masterpiece Wigs
Make your next piece a masterpiece.
Alistair Cook - Flaherty; Man waiting for transplants to grow in - Thomas; Cassius - Candy; Richard III - Thomas; Louis the 14th - Levy
8 SCTV Mailbag with Bob Clark
Bob answers some viewer mail about EPA ratings, Huron Indians, and bottling soft drinks.
Bob Clark - Thomas
9 SCTV Rock Concert with Big Jim and Billy Sol
Big Jim and Billy Sol blow up Freddy Fender ('Wasted Days and Wasted Nights'), Randy Newman ('Short People'), Patti Smith ('Gloria'), Helen Reddy ('I Am Woman') and the Village People ('Macho Man').
Big Jim McBob - Flaherty; Billy Sol Hurok - Candy; Freddy Fender - Levy; Randy Newman - Thomas; Patti Smith - Martin; Helen Reddy - O'Hara; The Village People - Flaherty, Candy, Thomas, Levy; announcer - staff announcer
Features the show-length parody of Fantasy Island, which itself incorporates a bevy of parodies of classic 40s pictures.
Additional viewing: the 70s hit TV show Fantasy Island; Hope and Crosby road pictures; Casablanca; and The Wizard of Oz.
OPENING
1 Fantasy Island Part 1: Arrival
Ricardo and Patoo welcome their guests to the island, including the lead singer and guitarist of Black Plasma who, like most rock stars, want to be comedians; Maria Schuulman, a violinist who wants adventure; and Lee Vanderbill, a bored and clumsy socialite who wants a return of glamour. Maria pays for her fantasy with a Stradivarius, which Patoo makes out with.
Ricardo Montalban - Levy; Herve Villechaize as Patoo - Candy; Rock Musicians - Flaherty, Thomas; Maria Schuulman - Martin; Lady Vanderbill - O'Hara; island girls - extras
1a Fantasy Island Part 2: Hope and Crosby
Ricardo and Patoo observe the rock musicians, transformed into Hope and Crosby, selling braziers in the king's harem. They find the one bad egg, and run off.
Ricardo Montalban - Levy; Herve Villechaize as Patoo - Candy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Bing Crosby - Flaherty; harem girls, guards, assassin - extras, including Mimi Kusick
2 Commercial: Ronco No Sweat Sauna Air Conditioner
Stop sweating it out in your sauna.
Husband - Levy; Wife - O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer
1b Fantasy Island Part 3: Casablanca
At Rick's Cafe American, Maria as Elsa enters and talks to Sam. Everyone observes that she is, indeed living on the brink of danger. Elsa and Rick talk about old times. Hope and Crosby have given the Grand Vizier the slip and slip into the cafe, but Hope's been turned into a dog. Lady Vanderbill as Ginger Rogers does a number with Fred Astaire. The cops enter and bust the place. Hope rubs a lamp and Glenda the good witch of the North appears and transports Hope and Crosby back to Kansas.
The rock musicians wake up and share their dream with their band, and conclude with a number (a disco version of "I Love Lucy" called "Disco Lucy" by the Wilton Place Street Band) as the credits roll.
Ricardo Montalban - Levy; Herve Villechaize as Patoo - Candy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Bing Crosby - Flaherty; Elsa - Martin; Ginger Rogers - O'Hara; Fred Astaire - Claude Tessier; Humphrey Bogart (Rick) - Candy; Glenda the Good Witch of the North - O'Hara; Margaret Hamilton (Wicked Witch) - Martin; Chief of Police - Tony Rosato; Rock musicians - Thomas, Flaherty with Candy, Levy, O'Hara, Martin; Sam - Joe Seely; patrons - extras; cops - extras
The second episode in a row to feature a show-length sketch, an episode of The Sammy Maudlin Show with Bobby Bittman promoting his remake of On the Waterfront. Maudlin music is "Soulful Strut" by Young-Holt Unlimited.
Additional Viewing: On The Waterfront, the 1954 classic
OPENING
1 The Sammy Maudlin Show: On the Waterfront Again Part 1
Sammy and William B exchange compliments, Sammy welcomes Edith, who plugs Bobby Bittman's latest movie before rushing off.
Notes: One of the few that doesn't start 'already in progress'.
Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Edith Prickley - Martin
2 Commercial: Chet Vet the Dead Pet Remover
Chet will remove your dead pet. No animal too small or too large.
Chet - Thomas
3 Commercial: LaRue Toys
Having received complaints about his toys, safety's the motto for LaRue's latest toy, Jessie the Sponge.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Lab technicians - extras
1a The Sammy Maudlin Show: On the Waterfront Again Part 2
Bobby Bittman plugs his latest film, which he directed, and shows a clip from the movie.
Clip: On the Waterfront Again
Terry and his girlfriend find his brother hanging from a stevedore's hook.
Bobby Bittman as Terry - Levy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara
They are riveted by the performance. Sammy brings out Bobby's co-star, Lola Heatherton.
Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Bobby Bittman - Levy
4 Commercial: Evelyn Wolf School of Speed Eating and LaRue's Speed Drinking Book
Don't loiter over your meals. Special bonus - Johnny LaRue's Speed Drinking Book.
Evelyn Wolf ("Evelynn") - Martin; Dave - Thomas; Wife - O'Hara; Students - Thomas, extras; Johnny LaRue - Candy; partygoers - extras; announcer - staff announcer
1b The Sammy Maudlin Show: On the Waterfront Again Part 3
Bobby Bittman shows another clip.
Clip: On the Waterfront Again
Charlie tries to convince Terry not to testify.
Bobby Bittman as Terry - Levy; Lin Ye Tang as Charlie - Thomas
Lin Ye Tang, the only man who could hang on a stevedore's hook and act the part of really being dead, comes out. Bobby quips that good acting does not have to take a back seat to race, creed or color. Sammy sums up by saying these three prove to us all that, if you apply yourself, anybody, no matter how bad, can act.
Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lin Ye Tang - Thomas
SCTV Boogie, from episode 20 of the first series, has been rechristened SCTV Disco.
Additional Viewing: Lou Grant, the Mary Tyler Moore Show spinoff series starring Ed Asner; Art Linkletter's House Party, a long-running TV series during the 50s and 60s, included a segment Kids Say the Darndest Things.
OPENING
1 Promo: The Butch Grant Show
Butch takes over the elementary school paper.
Butch Grant (Ed Asner) - Candy; Teacher - O'Hara; Kids - extras; Announcer - staff announcer
2 Commercial: Oil of Oil
For the woman who loves to be touched.
Yenna Olsen - Martin; Her man - Flaherty
3 Promo: Those Two Zany Ambulance Drivers
Two happy-go-lucky guys join the Ramparts Hospital team.
Chick - Levy; Chuck - Flaherty; Dispatcher - Candy; Doctor - Thomas; Bystanders - extras; Announcer - staff announcer
4 Promo: Women Say the Darndest Things
Art interviews cute housewives with their afternoons free and gives away bobby pins and panty hose.
Host Art Linkletter - Thomas; Modeine Grunge - Martin; Anne Sterling - O'Hara; other guests - extras; Announcer - staff announcer
5 Commercial: Ronco Wiener Skinner
"Honey, I'm glad you skinned my wiener."
Husband - Candy; Wife - O'Hara; kids - extras; Announcer - staff announcer
6 Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Budgie Smuggling
A free budgie with every organ. Tex and Edna were out of budgies so they had to smuggle Shetland budgies across the state line.
Tex Boil - Thomas; Edna Boil - Martin
7 SCTV News: Earl has problems with the crew
Earl doesn't like his chair, doesn't get a picture with his item, his marking pencil is missing, and takes it out on the crew; the crew strikes back.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; crew - extras
8 Commercial: Captain O'Shaunnessey Table Top Smoke Alarm
Be well rested for your fire.
Captain O'Shaunnessey - Thomas; Wife - Martin; Husband - Candy; Announcer - Staff Announcer; Exhausted fire victim - Levy; firemen, victims - extras
9 SCTV Disco
Mel and the kids dance to some disco (Do You Wanna Get Funky With Me by Peter Brown). Mel talks to two couples (Debbie and Don, Benny and Jim) and Melba the Disco Queen shows a few steps. Credits - "Do What You Want To Do" by T-Connection (the percussion break)).
Mel Slirrup - Levy; Melba the Disco Queen - Martin; Debbie Divine - O'Hara; Don Pong - Flaherty; Benny Borenstein - Thomas; Jim Baron - Candy; Funky Announcer - staff announcer; dancers - Peter Wildman, extras
Notable for the unusual Pipeline documentary and the Dr Braino Hour (featuring "Casey Jones" by Grateful Dead and "Fresh Air" by Quicksilver Messenger Service).
OPENING
1 Passport to Adventure: Pain-free Home Entertaining
Bob and Betty show how throw a party as painlessly as possible. Badger your guests. Use disposable stuff and large garbage pails. Tape the ashtrays to the window sills. Water down drinks and pre-mix them.
Bob Wilson - Thomas; Betty Wilson - O'Hara
2 Promo: Tax Advice with Liberace
Claiming wardrobe and jewelry.
Liberace - Thomas
3 SCTV News Bulletin: Mayor Shanks' Speech
Pre-empting regular programming, the press have not been briefed on the Mayor's remarks...
Fireside Chat: The Weather
Mayor Shanks remarks on the weather and feeds a Hershey bar to a stuffed giraffe.
Mayor Tommy Shanks - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer
Earl tries to read between the lines. Floyd is disgusted.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer
4 Commercial: Tap's No-Name Supermarket
Where can you go wrong?
Joey - O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer
5 The Doctor Braino Hour
Doctor Braino is joined by his friend Doctor Psychedelic, who's brought some stuff. Doctor Braino has a bad trip.
Doctor Braino - Candy; Doctor Psychedelic - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer
6 Pipeline
A day in the life of plumber Vince Debaucheo. 7:00am, Vince arrives at the McLennan's. Vince gives an estimate on unclogging a toilet. 10:15am, Vince goes to a bar. 3:00pm, Vince arrives at the Fuschetti house to fix a leaky faucet. 4:45pm, Vince arrives home. 6:30pm, Vince is engaging in his hobby. 5:30am, Vince is in bed. 7:30am, Vince is back at the McLennan's. 9:05, the toilet is finally unclogged.
Vince Debaucheo - Levy; Mr McLennan - Flaherty, Mrs McLennan - O'Hara; Mrs Fuschetti - Martin; Narrator - Flaherty; guys in bar - extras; model - extra
Features the mysteriously cut from syndication Family Crisis Game Show.
Syndication Note: Family Crisis was dropped; replaced by Wara Wara Wara from 1-2 (2)
OPENING
1 Promo: The Young Weasels
Weasels find a niche in Hollywood.
Weasels - Thomas, Flaherty; Cop - Levy; Producer - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer; Stalone - extra
2 Fireside Chat: The State of the Economy
The mayor's tobacco went up in price. He gives a biscuit to a stuffed parrot.
Mayor Tommy Shanks - Candy; announcer - staff announcer
3 Commercial: Simple Touch Whitener
They take the whitener out of Mary Feenan's detergent.
Mary Feenan - O'Hara; Announcer - Thomas
4 Commercial: Tax and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Budgies
Tex and Edna are offering a free budgie with every organ, and budgie bait.
Tex Boil - Thomas; Edna Boil - Martin
5 Family Crisis
"The gameshow that lets you forget about your family problems, and get a good laugh out of somebody else's." Johnny introduces the panel and then brings out Chrissy, who has a husband who drinks a lot and beats her. First up, Colonel Sanders asks her whether her family likes chicken and advises her to pay more attention to her family. Lola asks if her husband beats her in bed, and when Chrissy replies sometimes, she advises her to ship the kids off to the YMCA for a few months and turn their house into a pleasure palace. Bobby suggests Chrissy watch Bobby's next special, "Bobby Bittman looks at Marriage...from a distance." The studio audience likes Bobby's advice best.
Host: Johnny LaRue - Candy; Panelists: Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Colonel Sanders - Thomas; Contestant: Chrissy Steiner - Martin; studio audience - extras; announcer - staff announcer
6 Commercial: Graft Cheese
A tasty sandwich recipe.
Announcer - Levy; Hands - Levy (?)
7 SCTV News: Consumer Action Line
Earl has an item on a doctor who has discovered mental illness is a virus. Floyd counters with an item where the good doctor is arrested with fraud. Perini Scleroso interviews an Irish mother of triplets. In a new segment, Consumer Action Line, Earl is put on hold.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Perini Scleroso - Martin; Mother of triplets - O'Hara
Bit of a grab bag, padded with two repeats, but I love the sleazy Raoul Wilson.
OPENING
1 Promo: Take the Money and Run
Contestants try to escape with native artifacts.
Host: Rick Marshall - Candy; Contestant: Ian - Thomas; natives - extras
2 Natalie Wingneck
Natalie, raised by geese, is a nursery school teacher adjusting to life in the real world.
Natalie - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer; Mrs McCallum - O'Hara; Dr Louden - Flaherty
3 Commercial: Ronco No Sweat Sauna Air Conditioner (R)
Stop sweating it out in your sauna.
Husband - Levy; Wife - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer
4 Commercial: Big Giant Restaurant
Diners - Thomas, Flaherty, Levy, Martin, O'Hara, extras; Big Giant - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer
5 Relaxing with Raoul
Raoul teaches some relaxation techniques.
Raoul Wilson - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer
6 Commercial: National Council of Antique and Restricted Automatic Weapons
Save endangered guns.
Bob Burns - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer
7 Commercial: Biller Hi-Lite (R)
Maxy and Jake discuss their favorite beer. 'Less taste!' 'Better calories!'
Maxy Stein - Flaherty; Jake Primo - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer
8 Dining With LaRue: French Restaurant
LaRue is at the Chez Chic, has problems with his reservation, snooty waiters, the food (Thunderbird, tossed salad, and cheeseburger) and paying the bill. (Music is "Brazil" by Antonio Carlos Jobim)
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Maitre D - Thomas; Waiter - Flaherty; Diners - extras; announcer - staff announcer
Credits - Jazzy instrumental version of 'Brazil'
Hugh Betcha's Insights and Firing Squad, both first seen in Series 1, return; Socrates is now played by Thomas (replacing Ramis) - the numbskulls are still played by Levy and Candy.
Second City notes: A Flaming Turkey-style ballet parody was featured in the 1975 revue Alterations While You Wait; the stage version was also introduced by Candy.
OPENING
1 Commercial: The Two Goofs Grocery Store
'The two goofs have got bargains galore at the two goofs grocery store'.
Goofs - Thomas, Candy; Shopper - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer
2 PSA: Mental Illness
Seven warning signs that you may have mental illness.
Dom Strom - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer
3 Insights with Hugh Betcha: Socrates on Good and Evil
Socrates, discussing good and evil, is interrupted by an animal.
Host: Hugh Betcha - Flaherty; Socrates - Thomas; Thracimacus - Candy; Telemachus - Levy; animal - Flaherty
4 Promo: Meet the Pawnbroker
Contestants pawn possessions for cash, then spin the wheel to see what they'll run into on their way 'Home'.
Host: Johnny LaRue - Candy; Contestant: Dorothy - O'Hara; Charlene - Martin; Street gang - extras
5 SCTV News: Earl's dinner
Earl eats dinner during the newscast.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty
6 Commercial: Polardak ESP 1 Camera
The camera that anticipates good pictures.
Woman in bed - Martin; Happy Couple - Thomas, O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer
7 Firing Squad: Latin
Bill Buckley destroys Meatloaf's arguments using Latin.
William F Buckley - Flaherty; Meatloaf - Candy; Guitarist - Thomas
8 SCTV Big Cultural Event: The Flaming Turkey
An SCTV cultural event, presenting the classic ballet. Host Boris Bloshetnik describes the story line, then on to the ballet. Briefly, the Prince and his sidekick encounter an attractive peasant girl and her turkey in the forest in time to prevent Von Rathbone from collecting his rent.
Host: Boris Bloshetnik - Candy; Prince - Levy; Sidekick - Flaherty; Peasant - O'Hara; Turkey - Martin; Von Rathbone - Thomas
The first of two full episodes of repeats.
OPENING
1 Promo: Lola Heatherton In Concert (R)
A fabulous television special.
Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Dancers - Flaherty, Levy, Thomas
2 Donna: Barbara Streisberg (R)
Donna's guest Barbara Streisberg tries to sing a song
Host: Donna - O'Hara; Barbara Streisand (Streisberg) - Martin; Chef - extra
3 Promo: U.F.O. Sharkey (R)
Don Rickles investigates UFOs and makes racist remarks.
Sharkey - Candy; Mexican - Flaherty; Indian Sikh - Levy; Hick - Thomas; Negro - extra
4 What's My Shoesize? (R)
Panelists fail to guess the shoesize of contestant Barry Stubing (size 16)
Dorothy Kilpatrick - O'Hara; Bennett Cerf - Thomas; Arlene Franklin - Martin; Kirk Douglas - Flaherty; Host: John Charles Bailey - Levy; Contestant: Barry Stubing - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer
5 Commercial: Phil's Nails (R)
He's putting nails in his own coffin with this sale.
Phil the Garment King - Levy
6 Bob Hope Desert Classic (R)
Bob and Lou host this star-studded golfing event. Begin has a bad lie, and argues with Arafat. King Fahud shows Lola how to hold her putter. Charlton Heston helps Golda chip through a pipeline. Arafat occupies the 12th hole, while Begin takes the 13th fairway. Lou gets lost off the 18th hole.
Lou Jaffe - Levy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Menachim Begin - Flaherty; Yasser Arafat - Levy; King Fahud - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Jack Nicolas - Candy; Cheap bogie - Flaherty; Golda Meir - Martin; Charlton Heston - Flaherty; Richard Nixon - Flaherty; American businessman - Candy; Announcer - Candy; miscellaneous Arabs - extras
OPENING
1 Speaking of Talk with Lou Jaffe (R)
Lou interviews one of the greatest announcers in the business, Harvey K-Tel, and finds out they went to the same school.
Lou Jaffe - Levy; Harvey K-Tel - Thomas; Studio Engineer - Candy; extras
2 Commercial: Long Distance (R)
A woman carps about not receiving any calls from an old friend. 'Get the long distance feeling, before it's too late.'
Complaining woman - O'Hara; Angry neighbors - Candy; Concerned Neighbor - Martin; Bystanders, ambulance men - extras; Announcer - staff announcer
3 Family Crisis Game Show (R)
Johnny introduces Chrissy, who has a husband that beats her. First up, Colonel Sanders asks her whether her family likes chicken and advises her to pay more attention to her family. Lola asks if her husband beats her in bed, and when Chrissy replies yes, she advises her to ship the kids off to the YMCA for a few months and turn their house into a pleasure palace. Bobby suggests Chrissy watch Bobby's next special, "Bobby Bittman looks at Marriage...from a distance." The studio audience likes Bobby's advice best.
Host: Johnny LaRue - Candy; Panelists: Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Colonel Sanders - Thomas; Contestant: Chrissy Steiner - Martin; studio audience - extras; announcer - staff announcer
4 Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Rhythm Ace (R)
Tex and Edna are offering a deal on the Rhythm Ace.
Tex Boil - Thomas; Edna Boil - Martin
5 The $Millionaire (R)
The Millionaire is flat broke and reduced to giving away 50 bucks. His male secretary takes the heat from the Adamly family who aren't impressed by 50 bucks. But a wealthy Arab arrives to save the day. Next week, The Millionaire From Mecca.
Michael Anthony, Male Secretary - Candy; John Beresford Tipton, Millionaire - Flaherty; Adamly family - Thomas, O'Hara; Arab - Levy
6 SCTV Rock Concert with Big Jim and Billy Sol (R)
Big Jim and Billy Sol blow up Freddy Fender, Randy Newman, Patti Smith, Helen Reddy and the Village People.
Big Jim - Flaherty; Billy Sol - Candy; Freddy Fender - Levy; Randy Newman - Thomas; Patti Smith - Martin; Helen Reddy - O'Hara; The Village People - Flaherty, Candy, Thomas, Levy
A best of shown in the US, combining sketches from the two Canadian best ofs.
OPENING
BUMPER Promo: Desert Classic announcer - staff announcer
1 Promo: U.F.O. Sharkey (R)
Don Rickles investigates UFOs and makes racist remarks.
Sharkey - Candy; Mexican - Flaherty; Indian Sikh - Levy; Hick - Thomas; Negro - extra
2 What's My Shoesize? (R)
Panelists fail to guess the shoesize of contestant Barry Stubing (size 16)
Dorothy Kilpatrick - O'Hara; Bennett Cerf - Thomas; Arlene Franklin - Martin; Kirk Douglas - Flaherty; Host: John Charles Bailey - Levy; Contestant: Barry Stubing - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Desert Classic announcer - staff announcer
3 Bob Hope Desert Classic (R)
Bob and Lou host this star-studded golfing event. Begin has a bad lie, and argues with Arafat. King Fahud shows Lola how to hold her putter. Charlton Heston helps Golda chip through a pipeline. Arafat occupies the 12th hole, while Begin takes the 13th fairway. Lou gets lost off the 18th hole.
Lou Jaffe - Levy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Menachim Begin - Flaherty; Yasser Arafat - Levy; King Fahud - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Jack Nicolas - Candy; Cheap bogie - Flaherty; Golda Meir - Martin; Charlton Heston - Flaherty; Richard Nixon - Flaherty; American businessman - Candy; Announcer - Candy; miscellaneous Arabs - extras
4 Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Rhythm Ace (R)
Tex and Edna are offering a deal on the Rhythm Ace.
Tex Boil - Thomas; Edna Boil - Martin
3a Bob Hope Desert Classic part 2 (R)
Bob wraps up.
Bob Hope - Thomas
BUMPER
5 SCTV Rock Concert with Big Jim and Billy Sol (R)
Big Jim and Billy Sol blow up Freddy Fender, Randy Newman, Patti Smith, Helen Reddy and the Village People.
Big Jim - Flaherty; Billy Sol - Candy; Freddy Fender - Levy; Randy Newman - Thomas; Patti Smith - Martin; Helen Reddy - O'Hara; The Village People - Flaherty, Candy, Thomas, Levy
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