SERIES 1 - SECOND CITY TELEVISION

John Candy | Joe Flaherty | Eugene Levy | Andrea Martin | Catherine O'Hara | Harold Ramis | Dave Thomas

Series 1

Director: Milad Bessada (1-13), George Bloomfield (13-26)
Head Writer: Harold Ramis
Writers: Sheldon Patinkin, Brian Doyle Murray
Producers: Sheldon Patinkin, Bernie Sahlins

Series 1a (76-77)
1 Backstage
2 Murder at SCTV
3 Ethnic Humour
 3a Ethnic Humor (US)
4 Crosswords
5 Match Unto My Feet
6 Memoirs of Anton Chekhov
7 Dialing For Dollars
8 Shock Theatre
9 Philosophy Street
10 Therese et Joe
11 Broads Behind Bars
12 The Taxidermist
13 Ben Hur

Series 1b (77-78)
14 Hefty
15 Leave It to Beaver
16 Goodbye America
17 Galaxy 66
18 Madame Blitzman
19 $129 000 Question
20 Dr Tongue's House of Wax
21 Sammy Maudlin Show
22 World at War
23 The Grapes of Mud
24 Officer Friendly
25 King of the Popes
26 Lust for Paint
 27 Best Of (US)

"It's Second City Television, now beginning its programming day...Starring John Candy, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, Andrea Martin, Catherine O'Hara, Ha-Harold Ramis (laughs), and Dave Thomas as the beaver!"
Narrator - Dave Thomas

Series 1 castAt 7:30 PM on 21 September 1976 (a Tuesday), with little fanfare, no budget, and on a network that, at the time, was strictly second-rate compared to Canada's two 'national' networks (CTV and CBC), 'Second City Television' started broadcasting. For the next year, once a month on Thursdays at, you got it, nine and to the tune of Spike Jones' "Dance Of The Hours" (the first Series theme song), SCTV bit the hand that fed it.

(Interestingly, The David Steinberg Show debuted the same week on CTV, featuring much of the SCTV cast in regular bit parts. So much for the 'National' networks.)

Global initially ordered six episodes, which aired once a month in the fall of 1976; they then ordered a further seven, which aired twice a month through May 1977. This was expanded by another 13, which aired in the fall of 1977, for a total of 26. In exchange for providing the production facilities, Global broadcast SCTV without paying a fee. Starting in the fall of 1977, all 26 shows were bundled as a single series for syndication in the U.S., where they started airing for the first time, a full year after the show's debut in Canada.

The first series established the format and many of the characters that would carry the show through its final series. That format, the small underfunded TV network (they really were underfunded), would turn out to be the real masterstroke of SCTV - simple and versatile, it allowed small or half-baked ideas and premises to be used by turning them into fictional promos and commercials, and also allowed for sweeping epic-sized sketches, recurring themes and characters, and layered, complex satire. And though the budget was limited, and the shows looked it, SCTV's cheapness became one of the best and longest running gags.

The show started with a very loose framework - the Sunrise Semester show, SCTV News, Words to Live By to finish off, and borrowed heavily (both sketches and characters) from The Second City stage show. By the second set of 13 episodes, the show had a new director (George Bloomfield) and was growing by leaps and bounds as they mastered the medium.

Best of the Best: Ben Hur, Goodbye America

Original slate for the first show
Slate from the taping of the very first episode

1-1 Backstage
Airdate: 21 and 23 September 1976

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Second City comes to televisionThe inaugural show introduces several major characters, including Johnny LaRue, Earl Camembert, Floyd Robertson and Moe Green. It features a somewhat tenuous wraparound concept involving LaRue - according to Dave Thomas' book, the running time for this episode ran well past 30 minutes, much of the linking material for the wraparound being cut to achieve the final running time. The show also introduces four programs that would feature frequently throughout the show's run: Sunrise Semester, a vehicle for an assortment of characters to educate viewers, would end up appearing in every series except the last; Words To Live By, the inspirational station signoff, would also appear frequently in the first three series; SCTV News; and Masterpiece Theatre, hosted by Alistair Cook.

Second City notes: Big News/Little News is from the 1975 Alterations While You Wait revue; the stage version was also played by Levy and Flaherty. Joni Newton Buffy is a character Martin developed on the stage, but only used it this one time on SCTV.

1 Commercial: Lasermatic Flash Camera Attachment

Turns night into day.

Pitch man - Thomas; Subjects - Ramis, Candy, Flaherty, Levy, O'Hara, Martin

OPENING

2 Sunrise Semester: Bookkeeping with Moe Green

Tips on keeping books, and a bit of anti-capitalist ranting.

Moe Green - Harold Ramis; announcer - Thomas

3 Promo: Unnecessary Surgeon / Malpractice Lawyer

When little problems demand extreme solutions, it's Unnecessary Surgeon. And then, defending helpless doctors against greedy patients, it's Malpractice Lawyer. Back to back! (Note: Ted Gordon is also Overbooked Attorney.)

Surgeon Dr Sloan - Joe Flaherty; Patient - Eugene Levy; Lawyer Ted Gordon - Dave Thomas; Mr Acropolis - O'Hara; Judge - Flaherty; announcer - Ramis

4 The Johnny LaRue Exercise Show

LaRue crushes rumors about his being gay. Head rolls, jogging on the spot, works out with the fridge door, eats a sandwich. (Promo for Police Gynecologist over credits.)

Johnny LaRue - John Candy; Announcer - Thomas

5 SCTV AM News Today: Big News/Little News

Floyd has some big news items. Earl has some little local news items. Frustrated, he makes up a big item of his own.

Floyd Robertson - Joe Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Eugene Levy

6 Commercial: Evelyn Woods Speed Talking School

Don't waste time communicating.

Evelyn Woods - Catherine O'Hara


7 Backstage

Real life stories of the exciting people who make television. Johnny's ratings are down, his show is canceled, and his accountant Moe informs him he only has 14 cents. And he can't get it up. Filled with self-loathing, he goes for help.

Johnny LaRue - Candy; LaRue's Manager - Flaherty; Moe Green - Ramis; LaRue's woman - Monica Parker; other station people - O'Hara, Martin (looking a bit like Prickley), Flaherty; announcer - Thomas

8 PSA: Stop Those Depressing Ads

A plea to stop depressing ads.

Gregory Peck - Joe Flaherty

9 Masterpiece Theatre: The Girls of Vienna

Cook introduces this week's freudian drama, by Ibsen.

The Girls of Vienna Part XII - Betty Freud

Drama about Freud, Freud's wife Betty, and her friend George is interrupted by Johnny LaRue looking for help. He goes on a rampage.

Ibsen - Ramis; Herr Greenbaum - Thomas; Freud - Eugene Levy; Mrs Betty Freud - Catherine O'Hara; George Raft - Andrea Martin; Johnny LaRue - Candy; LaRue's woman - Monica Parker; Alistair Cook - Flaherty; crew - extras

Host Alistair Cook - Flaherty

10 SCTV PM News: Big News/Little News continued

Robertson interrupts Earl's item with news of Johnny LaRue's rampage, possibly the biggest disaster in entertainment history.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy


11 Words to Live By: Joni Newton Buffy

We are all one, and that sort of cosmic thing.

Joni Newton Buffy - Andrea Martin; announcer - Thomas

1-2 Murder At SCTV
Airdate: 21 October 1976

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Perini Scleroso and Gus Gustofferson's first appearance. Gus is featured in a wraparound concept dealing with the murder of puppeteer Lampeer.

Second City notes: English for Beginners originated on the stage

1 Yoga with Swami Banananda Part 1

The Swami starts with stretching exercises for the legs.

Swami Banananda - Harold Ramis

OPENING


1a Yoga with Swami Banananda Part 2

The Swami is still working on his legs.

Swami Banananda - Harold Ramis

2 Captain Combat

Captain Combat's guest is Mr Green Fatigues, who brings Mr Schnauzer, who's stopped talking. They clean Mr Schnauzer, accidentally killing Gunny Rabbit.

Captain Combat - Dave Thomas; Mr Green Fatigues - Ramis; Puppeteer Lampeer - Candy

3 PSA: Fat Chance for the Sub Sahara

Help out arabs with stomach aches.

Lawrence of Arabia (Peter O'Toole) - Joe Flaherty

4 English for Beginners

Perini frustrates her English teacher.

Perini Scleroso - Andrea Martin; Lucille Hitzger - Catherine O'Hara

5 SCTV AM News Today: Wire Services on Strike

They don't have much information.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy

6 Commercial: Stan Musial's Greatest Hits

From that great infield single to the grand slam home-run.

Babe Ruth - John Candy

5a SCTV AM News Today Part 2: Gus Gustofferson

Floyd interviews Gus Gustofferson, security guard, about the shooting death of puppeteer Lampeer. Apparently, he wasn't killed by a Schnauzer, but shot in the back with a revolver.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Gus Gustofferson - Eugene Levy

7 Commercial: Sale of the Century

A stirring pitch to sell England.

Shakespearean pitch man - Thomas


8 Gus Gustofferson - Security Guard

Gus investigates the murder of puppeteer Knowlten Lampeer on the set of Captain Combat. He finds most of the staff, including himself, disliked Lampeer.

Lucille Hitzger - O'Hara; Perini Scleroso - Martin; Gus Gustofferson - Levy; Captain Combat - Thomas; Mr Green Fatigues - Ramis; Swami Banananda - Ramis; announcer - Thomas

9 SCTV Movie of the Week: Wara, Wara, Wara

The story of the Allied advance into Italy. The Italians plan their surrender. The Americans talk about what they'll do after the war. The General reads a letter from his wife, who reminisces about their honeymoon in Italy before the war.

Captain Combat - Thomas; General Dwight - Flaherty; Gus Gustofferson - Levy; Various American GIs - Ramis, Candy; Various Italian Soldiers - Flaherty, Thomas, Ramis, Candy, Levy; General Dwight's wife - Jayne Eastwood; Adrianna - Martin; announcer - Thomas


10 SCTV PM News - Paper Shuffling

Earl shows Floyd how to straighten his papers.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy

1-3 Ethnic Humour
Airdate: 18 November 1976

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The SCTV format still isn't entirely worked out, as Ramis, Candy and Thomas appear as themselves in the opening announcement. Ethnic humour and Gypsies provide the running concept for the episode. Lin Ye Tang's first appearance.

Second City notes: We're Gonna Be Alright, You Creep, Leaving Home and All, Eh? originated on the stage

Pat Boutette NHL Totals: Games 756 Goals 171 Assists 282 Points 453 Penalty Minutes 1354

1 Station Announcement: Ethnic Disclaimer

Harold insists that any racist jokes in the show do not reflect the management's views.

Harold Ramis, Dave Thomas, John Candy

OPENING


2 Sunrise Semester: Gypsy Mythology with Ernest Bruter

Dr Bruter describes how Gypsies were created.

Dr Ernest Bruter - Eugene Levy; Announcer - Thomas

3 The Leutonian Hour

The Leutonians do a dance. A fight breaks out with the Gypsies.

Leutonian Host - John Candy; Leutonians - O'Hara, Duke, extras; Gypsies - extras

4 Promo: Plainclothes Mountie

Curtis tracks down criminals on horseback.

Curtis Edgett - Ramis; Hippies - Thomas, O'Hara; Crooks - Martin, Candy; announcer - thomas

5 Out-Patient

Three jocks are in for a vasectomy.

Vishnu McKenzie (Hockey Player) - Flaherty; Lance Rock (Construction Worker) - Levy; Wally Wazoo - Candy; Nurse - O'Hara; Doctor - Martin; announcer - Thomas

6 Hints for Homemakers - Amish Food

Money saving tips on feeding your family.

Gypsy host Maria Acuzy - Martin; gypsies - extras; announcer - Thomas


7 Commercial: North American Stethoscopy Institute

Stethoscopist - Ramis; Patients - O'Hara, Flaherty; Doctor - Thomas

8 Theater North American

Lin Ye Tang (a Canadian) introduces the great Canadian play.

We're Gonna Be Alright, You Creep, Leaving Home and All, Eh?

Johnny's home from hockey camp, and the family sit down for dinner.

Angus McVee - Flaherty; Beatrice McVee - Martin; Colleen McVee - O'Hara; Johnny McVee - Candy; Leonard McVee - Levy; Ernest Bruter - Levy; Maria Acuzy - Martin; Gypsies - cast

Host: Lin Ye Tang - Thomas

9 Commercial: Golden Hits of the 11th Century

With each album you order, a one year temporary indulgence.

Sister Mary Innocent - O'Hara


10 Words to Live By: Ernest Bruter

Ernest casts doubt on the ten commandments.

Ernest Bruter - Levy; Gypsies - cast; announcer - Thomas

1-3a Ethnic Humour US

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Ethnic Humour was radically changed for the US market, apparently because Out Patient was deemed unsuitable (not the ethnic humour). The US version includes a Dining With LaRue not seen in the Canadian shows.

1 Station Announcement: Ethnic Disclaimer

Harold insists that any racist jokes in the show do not reflect the management's views.

Harold Ramis, Dave Thomas, John Candy

OPENING


2 Sunrise Semester: Gypsy Mythology with Ernest Bruter

Dr Bruter describes how Gypsies were created.

Dr Ernest Bruter - Eugene Levy; Announcer - Thomas

3 The Leutonian Hour

The host does some bingo and introduces Leutonian dancers. A fight breaks out with the Gypsies.

Leutonian Host - John Candy; Leutonians - O'Hara, extras; Gypsies - extras

4 Commercial: The Amanda II Microwave Oven

Cooks a roast in only three seconds.

Pitch Man - Thomas; Announcer - Ramis

5 Dining With LaRue: Greek Restaurant

Johnny is at Jimmy's Parthenon with his secretary. He is refused entry to the kitchen. The Greeks dance and come on to his date. Johnny is challenged to a Greek drinking game, wins and is declared a man.

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Alki Stereopolis - Flaherty; Greeks - Levy, Thomas, Ramis, extras; Shirley Balsam - O'Hara; Waitress (Alki's sister) - Martin

6 Commercial: Silver Bullet Suppositories

Lone Ranger - Flaherty; Husband - Candy; Wife - O'Hara

Series 1 Bumper


7 Promo: Baa, Baa, Black and White Sheep

She was just a flying nun until Pearl Harbor.

Rejected Nun - Thomas; Helen Reddy - Martin; Margot Hemmingway - Ramis; Eddie Popeye Doyle - O'Hara; Shelley Winters - Candy; Melissa Berenson - Flaherty; Announcer - Thomas

8 Theater North American

Lin Ye Tang (a Canadian) introduces the great Canadian play.

We're Gonna Be Alright, You Creep, Leaving Home and All, Eh?

Johnny's home from hockey camp.

Angus McVee - Flaherty; Beatrice McVee - Martin; Colleen McVee - O'Hara; Johnny McVee - Candy; Leonard McVee - Levy; Ernest Bruter - Levy; Maria Acuzy - Martin; Gypsies - cast

Host: Lin Ye Tang - Thomas

9 Promo: Plainclothes Mountie

Curtis tracks down criminals on horseback.

Curtis Edgett - Ramis; Hippies - Thomas, O'Hara; Crooks - Martin, Candy; announcer - thomas

Series 1 Bumper


10 Words to Live By: Ernest Bruter

Ernest casts doubt on the ten commandments.

Ernest Bruter - Levy; Gypsies - cast; announcer - Thomas

1-4 Crosswords with Ralph Richardson and John Gielgud
Airdate: 16 December 1976

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Its place in history is assured by the first appearance of the Sammy Maudlin Show. Also features special guests Ralph Richardson and John Gielgud.

Additional Viewing: Sammy & Company, talk show hosted by Sammy Davis Jr with announcer William B Williams.

1 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Lorna Minelli, Trish Nutly

Joined already in progress. Lorna sings her mother's signature song. Bobby Bittman makes an impromptu appearance to plug his upcoming special. Sammy and Bobby trade compliments. Trish Nutly, a young new star, is Sammy's next guest; she's disgusted and tells them what a bunch of phonies they all are.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Trish Nutly - O'Hara; announcer - Thomas

OPENING


2 Sunrise Semester: Classical Greek with Alki Stereopolis

The dialogue between Menelaus and Pericles.

Alki Stereopolis - Flaherty

3 Commercial: Spray-On Socks

No more droop around the ankles.

Chick - Martin; Man with drooping socks - Levy; Man with the solution - Candy; Miscellaneous dancers - Thomas, Flaherty, O'Hara, Ramis; announcer - Thomas

4 The $211,000 Triangle

Bobby Bittman screws it up for contestants.

Host - Thomas; Brenda O'Donnell - Martin; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Kay Serra - O'Hara; Tommy Noform - Flaherty

5 Cooking with LaRue: Cat food

Johnny has a great recipe for the under-employed.

LaRue - Candy; Announcer - Thomas; Lady from audience - O'Hara; crew - extras


6 Backstage

Lorna auditions for a part that Trish already has nailed down.

Lorna Minelli - Martin; Trish Nutly - O'Hara; Producer - Candy; announcer - Thomas

7 Masterpiece Theatre: Crosswords Part 1

Alistair introduces an obscure Pinter play.

8 Crosswords by Pinter Part I

John arrives at Ralph's dressing room. They try to decide where to meet the next day.

John Gielgud - Himself; Ralph Richardson - Himself; Stage hand - Thomas

Host: Alistair Cook - Flaherty

9 Promo: The Exorcist of Oz

Lorna Minelli as Dorothy - Martin

7 Masterpiece Theatre: Crosswords Part 2

Crosswords continues.

8a Crosswords by Pinter Part II

Ralph solves John's crossword.

John Gielgud - Himself; Ralph Richardson - Himself

10 Commercial: Shakespeare's Greatest Jokes

Including footnotes, so you can get the jokes you get.

Shakespearean actors: Bernard Sahlins - Thomas; Sheldon Patinkin - Flaherty


11 Words to Live By: Father Michael Meyer

Father Meyer reads from the book of Caucasians.

Father Meyer - Thomas; announcer - Thomas

1-5 Match Unto My Feet
Airdate: 13 January 1977

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Features the first appearance of Sid Dithers (here called Morris), and Cheryl Kinsey. Also features a guest appearance, albeit uncredited, by then-fellow Second City cast member Brenda Donohue in several sketches.

Additional viewing: Witness to Yesterday, the Canadian historical interview program, written and hosted by Patrick Watson.

Second City notes: Faking Orgasms with Cheryl Kinsey originated on the stage. Witness to Yesterday is from the revue Wizard of Ossington, and features Brenda Donohue, who was in the stage cast with John Candy at the time.

1 Promo: Baa, Baa, Black and White Sheep

"She was just a flying nun until Pearl Harbour."

Rejected Nun - Thomas; Helen Reddy - Martin; Margot Hemmingway - Ramis; Eddie Popeye Doyle - O'Hara; Shelley Winters - Candy; Melissa Berenson - Flaherty; Announcer - Thomas

OPENING


2 Sunrise Semester: Faking Orgasms with Cheryl Kinsey

Human Sexual Response part 4. Some useful phrases for faking an orgasm: Don't stop lover, please don't stop; Oh you're good, you're so good; Make me a woman big boy; Oh, i've got the music in me.

Dr Cheryl Kinsey - Martin

3 Promo: It's an Unusual World, Isn't It?

This week, Uri Geller, a hospital where dead celebrities are living as vegetables, and a martial artist.

Yuri Geller - Ramis; Nurse in hospital of vegetables - Martin; Tai Kwan Do - Candy; Kung fu fighters with broken hands - Flaherty, Martin, O'Hara, Thomas; announcer - Flaherty

4 Witness to Yesterday

Host Patrick Watson talks to Joan of Arc.

Patrick Watson - Candy; Bonnie Lightfeather/Joan of Arc - Brenda Donohue; announcer - Flaherty

5 SCTV AM News: Earl in San Francisco

Ragtime piano playing world record broken. Earl didn't quite make it to San Francisco to do a feature on an upcoming earthquake.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy

6 Commercial: The Amanda II Microwave Oven (R)

Cooks a roast in only three seconds.

Pitch Man - Thomas; Announcer - Ramis


7 PSA: So You're Dead...Now What?

Seven simple warning signs that you may be dead.

Licensed Chiropractor - Ramis

8 Match Unto My Feet: Passover

Match Unto My Feet visits the Dithers family at passover dinner. Father Duffy (from San Francisco) tries to learn about passover. Mr Dithers leads the service while the children make a racket, and the younger son wants out of the family business.

Morris Dithers (Sid Dithers) - Levy; Father John Duffy - Flaherty; Mrs Dithers - Martin; Son - Ramis; Son's wife - O'Hara; other son - Thomas; Other son's wife - Brenda Donohue; children - extras

9 Promo: AC/DC

In the morning she's a Mrs, in the afternoon she's a Ms., in the evening she's a Mr.

AC/DC - Martin; Husband - Thomas; Pretty Young Thing - O'Hara; Subordinate - Ramis; Dykes - O'Hara, Valri Bromfield, extras; Pretty young thing - Brenda Donohue; announcer - Ramis


10 Words to Live By: Father John Duffy

The Father talks about the sense of humour, relates a Nancy cartoon, and tells a story about the patron saint of the sense of humour.

Father John Duffy - Flaherty; announcer - Thomas

1-6 Memoirs of Anton Chekhov
Airdate: 10 February 1977

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Star Trek comes to the steppes of Russia in a very funny parody of Chekhov.

Second City notes: Cornabix Cereal is from the Wizard of Ossington revue, and originally featured Peter Ackroyd as Guy Lafleur opposite Candy's Sittler.

1 Commercial: Labrador Slugger

Seal - Ramis; Announcer - Thomas

OPENING


2 SCTV AM News Today: Earl Asleep

Earl has trouble staying awake.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

3 Heavenly Bodies with Sister Mary Innocent

Grovelling and prostrating yourself.

Sister Mary Innocent - O'Hara

4 Mr. Science: Coffee

Mr Science makes coffee and watches TV (Masterpiece Theatre: The Girls of Vienna).

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Donald - Donald Cowper; announcer - Thomas

5 Commercial: The House of Beauty

Girls, let Mr Bruce take care of your unsightly facial hair.

Mr Bruce - Flaherty; Woman with unsightly facial hair - Martin; her friend - O'Hara; Dancers - Thomas, Ramis, extras

6 SCTV News Today: Alternative Perspectives

Bob Park fills in for Larnell with the Black Perspective. Earl then fills in for Erica with the feminist perspective.

Bob Park - Thomas; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy


7 Commercial: Cornabix Cereal

Darryl and Guy agree on Cornabix.

Darryl Sittler - Candy; Guy Lafleur - Flaherty; crew - Thomas, extras

8 Promo: Masterpiece Theatre: Three Plays

Excerpts from three plays coming up this season.

Clip: Under Parsley

Welsh Garnish Farmer - Thomas; His Wife - Jayne Eastwood; Welshmen - Candy, Ramis, Levy

Clip: The Great Fatsby

Fatsby - Candy; His woman - Monica Parker

Clip: Swan Lake

Patron - Levy; Waiter - Ramis

Host: Alistair Cook - Flaherty

9 Commercial: Hooker Handbook

Fun, good pay, flexible hours.

Denise - Martin; Rochelle - O'Hara; John - Candy

10 The Memoirs of Anton Chekhov

A family waits for Anton Chekhov to arrive.

Old woman - O'Hara; Young Sonja - Martin; Ancient Butler - Flaherty; Agreeable Fellow - Candy; Son of a Peasant with a Big Stick - Levy; Visionary intellectual - Ramis; Chekhov - Thomas; Scotty - Thomas; announcer - Thomas

11 Promo: Plainclothes Mountie (R)

Curtis tracks down criminals on horseback.

Curtis Edgett - Harold Ramis; Hippies - Thomas, O'Hara; Crooks - Martin, Candy


12 SCTV PM News Today: Floyd Breaks Up

Floyd reads an amusing item, and then laughs through Earl's editorial.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty

1-7 Dialing For Dollars
Airdate: 24 February 1977

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The first of an additional 7 shows ordered by Global. Global started airing the show twice a month, still Thursday at 9. This episode is notable for the first appearance of Dialing for Dollars with Moe Green hosting, and William Buckley taking apart a schoolchild.

1 Commercial: Homelier You

For women who are only appreciated for their beauty.

Beautiful woman - O'Hara; Homely woman - Martin; Lab partner - Flaherty

OPENING


2 SCTV Before School Special: Beauty and the Beets

Beauty learns to like beets the hard way.

Beauty: O'Hara; Beauty's Mother - Martin; Beauty's Father - Levy; Brothers - Thomas, Ramis; Torturer - Candy; announcer - Martin

3 SCTV AM News Today: Action Line (Rent Strike) / Viewer Letters

Consumer Action Line solves a rent strike; LaRue goes on an eating protest for peace in the Middle East; News Views Letters features letters complimentary of Floyd.

Bess Verness - Martin; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy; Black Lung Pipers - male cast; Johnny LaRue - Candy

4 Commercial: Lasermatic Flash Camera Attachment (R)

Turns night into day.

Pitch man - Thomas; Subjects - cast

5 Firing Squad: School Busing

Buckley discusses school busing with a school child.

William F Buckley - Flaherty; Mr Cunningham - Chris Boddie

6 Commercial: Famous Philosophers' School

Earn as much as some poets.

Pitch man - Ramis


7 Alice, The Wonder Dog: Alice and the Bureau

A bureau falls on Biff. Alice prevents Tom from stealing the payroll.

Biff - Levy; Tom - Candy; Sarah - O'Hara; Alice - herself

8 Dialing for Dollars: Changing Partners Part 1

Moe introduces the film. Jackpot is 24 dollars.

Movie: Changing Partners Part 1

Mrs Nelson is unable to pay for her groceries.

Bruce Bigg as Bob - Levy; Trish Nutly as Mrs Nelson - O'Hara

Host: Moe Green - Ramis; announcer - Thomas

9 Commercial: Evelyn Woods Speed Talking School (R)

Evelyn Woods - Catherine O'Hara

8a Dialing for Dollars: Changing Partners Part 2

Moe makes some calls.

Movie: Changing Partners Part 2

Mrs Nelson is unable to pay for her mail.

Bruce Bigg as Bob - Levy; Mike the Mailman - Thomas; Trish Nutly - O'Hara

Moe Green - Ramis; Viewer - Candy

10 Promo: 15 Minutes

A dynamic new newsmagazine. Floyd will have stories on millionaires in the Bahamas and a pleasure palace in New Orleans. Earl will have stories on prison and worms in dogs.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy


8b Dialing for Dollars: Changing Partners Part 3

Moe makes another call, and gets Mr Prince's son, who correctly names the film.

Moe Green - Ramis; Mr Prince Jr - extra

1-8 Shock Theatre
Airdate: 10 March 1977

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Features another lapse in continuity, as Harold Ramis appears as the station manager of SCTV, while Moe Green, "actor, playwright, critic" is interviewed on Extreme Close-Up by host Dave Thomas.

Additional Viewing: Eye On Science is a spoof of Science International, a Canadian science show hosted by Joseph Campanella

Syndication Note: Al Pro Dog Food was dropped; replaced by Polardak ESP 1 from 2-24 (6)

1 Message from SCTV Station Manager: Discretion Warning

The management of SCTV comes out against sex on television, but they like violence. Harold Ramis appears as himself, in a very Moe Green sort of way. Moe would soon become the Station Manager.

Harold Ramis - Ramis

OPENING


2 Promo: Extreme Close-Up with Dave Thomas

Host Dave Thomas asks some hard-hitting questions, very close up.

Dave Thomas - Thomas; Moe Green - Ramis

3 Dining With LaRue: Italian Food

LaRue's Italian meal is interrupted by family business.

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Italian heavies - Levy, Thomas; Hit man - Flaherty; Waiter - Ramis; diners - Robin Duke, extras

4 Commercial: 50 Practical Jokes

Classic practical jokes, including the spot on the tie, phantom shoulder tap and Bronx handshake.

Marshall Brodeen - Thomas; Sucker - Candy

5 The Wacky World of Poverty with Chuck Barrett

Chuck gets poor people to humiliate themselves for small amounts of cash.
(A Chuck Barrett/Johnny LaRue Production.)

Host: Chuck Barrett - Levy; Rick Kershaw - Flaherty; Charleen - O'Hara; Woman with holes in her sweater - Martin; Drunk - Thomas; Hayseed - Candy; Audience - Tony Rosato, Robin Duke, extras; announcer - Candy

6 Commercial: Al Pro Dog Food

Johnny insists on only the best food for his dog: all meat, no byproducts. Because not all dog foods are the same.

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Woman - O'Hara; announcer - staff announcer


7 Eye on Science with Joseph Campobello

This week: Lin Ye Tang's Robot. Lin Ye Tang tries to pass a box off as an advanced robot.

Joseph Campobello - Flaherty; Lin Ye Tang - Thomas

8 Promo: SCTV Movie of the Week: A Fistful of Ugly

The sheriff and the Mexican try to arrange a gunfight.

Sheriff with no name - Ramis; Mexican - Candy; bartender - Levy; cowboys - Flaherty, extras; girl - Martin; announcer - Flaherty

9 Shock Theatre: Early to Bed

Billy's not scared by Poe. So dad tells the story of the girl who wouldn't wash her face.

The Girl Who Wouldn't Wash her Face

A girl gets too many pimples.

Girl who wouldn't wash her face - O'Hara; Her Mother - Martin; School kids - Candy, Levy, Ramis, Thomas; narrator - Flaherty

Billy is still not scared. So dad tells a final scary story.

Father - Flaherty; Billy his son - Donald Cowper


10 Promo: Margot Fonteyne at the Russian National Circus

Margot - Martin; Knife-thrower - Ramis; announcer - Thomas

1-9 Philosophy Street / A Fistful of Ugly
Airdate: 24 March 1977

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The first appearance (albeit over the phone) of the owner and president of SCTV, Guy Caballero.

1 Good-Bye America: Critics

Heraldo has dinner with America's most influential critics to discuss Roman Polanski's remake of Duck Soup.

Heraldo Rivera - Flaherty; Andrew Sarriss - Candy; Judith Krist - O'Hara; Pauline Kael - Martin; Rex Reid - Levy; John Symon - Thomas

OPENING


2 Sunrise Semester: Self Defense for Women with Cheryl Height

Dr Height shows how to put males in their place.

Dr Cheryll Height (very similar to Dr Cheryl Kinsey) - Martin; Roger - Flaherty

3 Promo: Bath Talk

The most informal, informative and interesting talk show on the air.

Host Donna Davies - O'Hara; Ira Ginsler - Levy

4 SCTV AM News Today: Earl plays taped music

Floyd has a story on Beirut fighting. Earl plays taped music to add colour to his trivial items. Malta declares war on Corsica. Floyd destroys his tape recorder.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy

5 Philosophy Street

Philosophy for kids. Today, factual judgments and value judgments. Herbie goes to the store for materialism. Idealism and realism explained. (A Children's Television Workshop presentation.)

Dumb kid - Thomas; Smart kid - Levy; Mr Willis the grocer - Candy; Herbie the hand puppet - O'Hara; Realist weightlifter - Levy; Idealist weightlifter - Flaherty; Existentialist weightlifter - Ramis; announcer - Levy

6 Commercial: S&M Airlines

An airline that caters to your particular tastes. 'We really whip your tails for you.'

Mr Lopez (pitch man) - Ramis; Passenger - Candy; Stewardess - Martin; Passenger - O'Hara; Butch Steward - Levy; announcer - Martin


7 Total Woman with Cassie Mackerel

Cassie interviews a woman who's an executive and full-time mother.

Cassie Mackerel (Cassy) - Martin; Trudy Collingwood (Female Person of the Year) - O'Hara; Assistant - Thomas; Husband - Ramis

8 SCTV Movie of the Week: A Fistful of Ugly

Edited for family viewing. Black Bart is coming to town. The Sheriff with no name and the Mexican try to get together for a gunfight. The Sheriff then confronts Mr King.

Sam the Bartender - Levy; Civil War Veteran - Thomas; Johnny LaRue as The Mexican - Candy; Waitress - Martin; Mr King - Flaherty; Sheriff with no name - Ramis; Townfolk - extras

9 Commercial: Longjeans G-11 Watch (and more)

No other watch can do what it does. 'It's about time.'

Announcer - Candy; Happy customer - Thomas


10 Feedback with Moe Green

Moe's phone-in show. After some miscellaneous calls, Moe takes some particularly biting criticism from Guy Caballero, president of the network. (Credit crawl over end)

Host Moe Green - Ramis; Depressed Caller - Candy; Feminist Caller - O'Hara; Dyslexic Caller - Levy; Guy Caballero - Flaherty

1-10 Therese et Joe
Airdate: 7 April 1977

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Additional Viewing: Therese et Joe, directed by "Jean-Luc Resnais," takes on the French New Wave, with nods to Jean-Luc Goddard, Alain Resnais and Francois Truffaut (thanks JR).

1 SCTV News: New Deli

Another earthquake in Togoland. Earl files a report from New Delhi.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy; deli customers - Thomas, Tony Rosato, Candy, extras

OPENING


2 Sunrise Semester: Political Sciences 101 with Dr. Hammond Greer

Dr Greer rants against scientists.

Hammond Greer - Thomas

3 Commercial: Robco Up-Your-Nose Pollution Filter

Announcer (Harvey K-Tel perhaps?) - Thomas; Satisfied customers - Ramis, Levy, Candy, O'Hara, Flaherty

1a SCTV News Part 2: Action Line: Arms Race

Consumer Action Line solves the arms race; Nutrition report proves you are what you eat.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Francesca Reams - Martin; Doctor Jennifer Colby - O'Hara; Walter (cheesy) - Candy; Stu (steak) - Thomas; Sarah (vitamins) - Martin; Priest - Ramis; Stashiu (tea and crumpets) - Levy; Water - Flaherty

4 Dining with LaRue: Chinese Food

Johnny gets a little bombed on rice wine while dining at his friend Lin Ye Tang's Tang Gardens. Lin prepares a meal at his table.

Lin Ye Tang - Thomas; Johnny LaRue - Candy; diners - Flaherty, Ramis, Levy, Tony Rosato, extras

5 Commercial: Silver Bullet Suppositories (R)

Lone Ranger - Flaherty; Husband - Candy; Wife - O'Hara


6 Perspective '77: Northern Ireland with Lou Jaffe

Encounter group techniques are applied in Northern Ireland.

Host Lou Jaffe - Levy; Eileen Tierney - O'Hara; Tom - Thomas; Father - Candy; Mrs Bloom - Martin; Good Folk - Ramis, Flaherty

7 Commercial: National Drugstore Association

Mr Connell helps Mrs O'Riley with her arthritis pain.

Mr Connell - Ramis; Mrs O'Riley - O'Hara

8 SCTV Foreign Film of the Week: Therese et Joe

A French film about a couple living together in a loft of some sort. The underlying theme of existentialist despair is brought to the surface in the final tragic scene.

Joe - Flaherty; Therese - Martin


9 SCTV PM News: Commentary from Earl - Terrorism

Earl makes an appeal to all terrorists.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy

1-11 Broads Behind Bars
Airdate: 21 April 1977

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Broads Behind Bars is a classic, with Candy's over the top prison guard Shultzy ("Lock 'em up, keep 'em down, and work 'em over") and Martin's lifer Kitty ("No Dice!"). Trivia: the crew put real liquor in Ramis' bottle for the Mort Finkel sketch.

Additional Viewing: Broads Behind Bars is a parody of the 1950 film noir classic Caged.

1 Commercial: Long Distance

When was the last time you called any old fishermen in your family. 'It's better than living with them.'

Old Fishermen - Ramis, Thomas, Flaherty; announcer - O'Hara

OPENING


2 Sunrise Semester: Home Dentistry with Mort Finkel

Mort, with the help of a few shots, drills one of his teeth.

Mort Finkel - Ramis

3 SCTV AM News Today: Earl's trip to Helsinki

Earl shows slides of his trip to Helsinki. He doesn't get past slides from the airport when Floyd chews him out. So Earl shows a slide of Floyd hammered at a party.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; cop - Thomas

4 Dining with LaRue: Health Food

LaRue causes a ruckus at a health food restaurant by smoking and trying to order meat and booze.

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Swami Banananda - Ramis; Waitress (Julie Liverfoot) - Martin; Hippy - Levy; diners - Thomas, O'Hara, Judith Dagley, Tabby Johnson, extras


5 Broads Behind Bars

Cheryl's boyfriend gets her stoned and persuades her to rob a convenience store. Convicted of robbery, she is sent to prison, where she is taken under the wing of the hardened lifer Kitty. They are terrorized by the sadistic prison guard Shultze. Eight months later, Cheryl is pregnant and hardened as they come. Kitty and Shultze have a final showdown.

Cheryl - O'Hara; Raoul - Levy; Shultze - Candy; Warden - Ramis; Kitty LaRue - Martin; Judge - Thomas; Lawyer - Flaherty; Mitsy, convicts - Judith Dagley, Tabby Johnson, Robin Duke, Mary Margaret O'Hara, extras


6 Promo: James Whitmore in An Evening with Col. Sanders

"Give 'em Hell, Harlan!" The Colonel reminisces about meeting various Presidents and Hitler.

James Whitmore as Colonel Sanders - Thomas; announcer - Flaherty

1-12 The Taxidermist
Airdate: 5 May 1977

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Features the very first Farm Report, with host Big Jim McBob.

1 Commercial: Nuclear Sized Baggys

Because two heads really are better than one.

Mutant Man - Thomas; Nuclear workers - Candy, Flaherty, Ramis

OPENING


2 Farm Report

Host Big Jim McBob runs down the agriculture prices and talks with a man from the Agriculture Department about a problem involving salesmen and farmers' daughters.

Host Big Jim McBob - Flaherty; Mr Dwight Hayes - Thomas

3 Welcome Back President Kotter

President Kotter tries to have a Cabinet meeting. Kotter has a new appointee to the Cabinet.

Kotter - Levy; General - Thomas; Secretary of State - Flaherty; CIA - Candy; Attorney General - Ramis; Secretary of Consumer Affairs - Martin; First Lady - O'Hara

4 Promo: The Glass Menagerie

Laura receives her gentleman caller and loses most of her menagerie.

Laura - Martin; Clumsy Gentleman House caller - Ramis; announcer - Thomas

5 Alistair Cook's Armenia

Alistair hosts this look at the rug-oriented Armenian culture.

Alistair Cook - Flaherty; Peasant - Martin


6 SCTV Mystery Movie of the Week: The Taxidermist

Walt brings his girlfriend Eugenie home to meet his parents.

Walt the Taxidermist - Candy; Eugenie - O'Hara; Father - Ramis; Mother - Martin; Cop - Thomas

7 Commercial: 20 Depressing Hits by Connie Franklin

'I'm Losing My Hearing', 'Stop Slapping My Face', 'You Depress Me'. Order now and get 'The Lighter Side of Connie Franklin'.

Connie Franklin - Martin; Announcer: Harvey K-Tel - Thomas


8 SCTV News: Earl's coughing fit

Fierce fighting in Albania. Parks closed for Physical Fitness week - but Earl has trouble delivering his item. More quakes in Togo. Earl is unable to give his last item. New ice age.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy

1-13 Ben Hur
Airdate: 19 May 1977

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A landmark show, featuring a show-length parody of the film, introduced by Moe Green on Dialing For Dollars.

Additional Viewing: William Wyler's 1959 epic Ben-Hur.

1 Dialing for Dollars: Ben Hur

Moe introduces tonight's special presentation of Ben Hur and pitches Pit Stop deodorant.

2 Movie: Ben-Hur Part I

Ben kills the Roman governor while throwing rocks with his childhood friend Mazola and he and his family are taken into custody.

Narrator - Thomas; Gluteus (Guard) - Thomas; Maximus (Guard) - Levy; Curly Howard as Ben Hur - Candy; Mazola - Ramis; Mrs Hur - O'Hara; Hur's Sister - Martin; Anonymous centurion - Flaherty

Moe goes to a commercial.

Moe Green - Ramis

OPENING


1a Dialing for Dollars: Ben Hur part 2

Ben Hur continues.

2a Movie: Ben-Hur Part I continued

Ben is visited by the Lord (who gives him a martini) and later saves the Roman admiral and is granted his freedom.

Sadistic Centurion - Flaherty; Curly Howard as Ben Hur - Candy; Volunteer Slave - Levy; The Lord - Sheldon Patinkin; Narrator - Thomas; Slave - Tony Rosato

Moe goes to a commercial.

Moe Green - Ramis

3 Commercial: Bill and Mike from Amco the Toy People

Bill and Mike dolls come out of the closet.

Announcer - Candy

4 Promo: Masquerade Funeral

Celebrities try to guess the identity of famous corpses.

Host Kenny Kelly - Ramis; Kay Serra - O'Hara; Lorna Minelli - Martin; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Albert Schweitzer's corpse - Flaherty


1b Dialing for Dollars: Ben Hur part 3

Ben Hur continues.

2b Movie: Ben-Hur Part II

The chariot race. Ben Hur defeats Mazola.

Gluteus (Guard) - Thomas; Maximus (Guard) - Levy; Curly Howard as Ben Hur - Candy; Mazola - Ramis

5 Commercial: Top Secret

Pitch woman - O'Hara

6 Commercial: Tobacco Paste

Pitch man - Thomas; Announcer - Candy; Gal - Martin

1c Dialing for Dollars: Ben Hur

Ben Hur continues.

2c Movie: Ben-Hur Part II continued

Before dying, Mazola reveals the location of Ben's mother and sister.

Gluteus (Guard) - Thomas; Maximus (Guard) - Levy; Curly Howard as Ben Hur - Candy; Mazola - Ramis; Centurion - Flaherty

Moe goes to a commercial.

Moe Green - Ramis


1d Dialing for Dollars: Ben Hur part 4

Ben Hur continues.

2d Movie: Ben-Hur Conclusion

Ben Hur finds his mother and sister; the Lord heals them.

Narrator - Thomas; Curly Howard as Ben Hur - Candy; Mrs Hur - O'Hara; Hur's Sister - Martin; The Lord - Sheldon Patinkin

7 Commercial: Special Offer - Fur from Davy Crockett's Hat

Pitch man - Thomas

Moe makes some calls; he gets the Vatican and an insomniac.

Moe Green - Ramis; Jack Berlinski - Thomas; Pope Paul VI - Flaherty; Clyde Spielberg (insomniac) - Levy

1-14 The Hefty Neil Story
Airdate: 19 and 23 September 1977

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The first of an additional 13 shows ordered by Global for its 1977-78 season; virtually a second series, these 13 shows started airing weekly in the fall of 1977, Mondays at 9 (later moved to 9:30) and repeated Fridays at 9. George Bloomfield replaced Milad Besseda as director, and the production value rises noticeably. New sets were created, including a new SCTV News/Sports set, which was used through Series 2.

This episode's wraparound concept is a lengthy spoof of Rocky, featuring SCTV Sports coverage of Hefty Neil's bid for the heavyweight championship.

Additional Viewing: The 1976 underdog fight film Rocky.

1 Promo: Those Funny Guys

SCTV has found the formula for comedy.

Dummy - Flaherty; Jokey - Levy; Fatty - Candy; Pip-squeak - Thomas; Brainy - Ramis; Announcer - O'Hara

OPENING


2 SCTV Sports Central: Fight Coverage Part 1

Phyllis and Keith have pre-fight coverage and a film about the contender, Hefty Neil.

3 The Hefty Neil Story Part I

Hefty wins his latest fight with an unorthodox style. Rocky shows up offering to manage Hefty.

Hefty Neil - Candy; Rocky Balboa - Flaherty; Girl - Martin; boxer - extra; crowd - extras

Keith goes to a commercial.

Phyllis Gumble - O'Hara; Keith Hampshire - Thomas

4 Promo: SCTV News: Earl pitches sex items

Earl promotes some lewd news items.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; staff - O'Hara

5 PSA: Shoplifting

Earnest staff persuade a shoplifter to confess.

Shopper - O'Hara; Kenny - Flaherty; Gus - Candy; Cashier - Martin; Manager - Ramis; Announcer - Thomas


6 Commercial: 50 Psalms by 50 Stars

50 of your favorite psalms read by your favorite stars.

Announcer: Harvey K-Tel - Thomas; Kirk Douglas - Flaherty; Barbara Streisand - Martin; Peter O'Toole - Flaherty; Margaret Hamilton - O'Hara; John Wayne - Flaherty

2a SCTV Sports Central: Fight Coverage Part 2

The Hefty Neil documentary continues.

3a The Hefty Neil Story Part II

Hefty trains for the big fight. The night of the big fight, and everything's looking good - Hefty just wants to go the distance.

Hefty Neil - Candy; Rocky Balboa - Flaherty; Girl - Martin

Phyllis and Keith are pumped for the fight.

Phyllis Gumble - O'Hara; Keith Hampshire - Thomas

7 Promo: Emergency Orderly/Court Clerk

Two exciting new dramas. The man who cleans up, and the man who keeps the record straight.

Surgeons - Candy, Flaherty; Skip Bradshaw, Emergency Orderly - Levy; Mrs Pearson - O'Hara; Announcer - Flaherty; Judge - Thomas; Attorney - Flaherty; Mr Arnold - Candy; Court Clerk - Ramis


2b SCTV Sports Central: Fight Coverage Part 3

The big fight. Lou Jaffe makes the call at ringside. Hefty hits the canvas after about 5 seconds. Phyllis and Keith have the playback and some commentary.

Phyllis Gumble - O'Hara; Keith Hampshire - Thomas; Lou Jaffe - Levy; Hefty Neil - Candy; Rocky Balboa - Flaherty; Girl - Martin; Lopez, crew, fans - Todd Jeffrey Ellis, Michael Farrel, extras; Announcer - Ramis

1-15 Leave It to Beaver
Airdate: 26 and 30 September 1977

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Features the first appearance of Dr Tongue, in his own show. Appropriately enough, for this show only, the opening credits announce John Candy as the Beaver (instead of Dave Thomas).

Additional Viewing: The 1950's TV series Leave It to Beaver.

1 Promo: Library Police

Drama about the people who protect our libraries.

Criminal - Candy; His wife - Martin; Library Police - Thomas, Levy; Announcer - Ramis

OPENING


2 Exorcising with Reagan Blair

A demon-influenced exercise show.

Reagan - O'Hara; Priests - Flaherty, Thomas, Candy; announcer - staff announcer

3 SCTV AM News Today: Earl Jr. Visits

Earl's son helps co-anchor the News, but isn't so good at reading big words. In other news, another earthquake in Togo. (Note: New news set, same opening credits)

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Jr - Donald Cowper

4 Commercial: Chickadee Chickette Chicken Style Loaf

We can't call it chicken, but we can come awful close.

Mother - Martin; kids - Donald Cowper, Dara Cowper

5 Leave It to Beaver 25th Anniversary Party

Beaver takes extreme measures to get back at Eddy.

Hugh Bowmont as Ward Cleaver - Flaherty; Barbara Bilingslee as June Cleaver - O'Hara; Tony Dowe as Wally Cleaver - Levy; Gerry Matherrs as The Beaver - Candy; Eddy Haskell - Thomas; Whitey - Ramis; announcer - Thomas


6 Commercial: Quick-Wash Dish Laundry

No time for dishes? 'There's one near you.'

Sybil - Martin; Val - O'Hara

7 PSA: Rip Masters for Children on Booze

Help juvenile alcoholics. Kids can play on the wagon.

Charlie the drunk - Flaherty; Rip Masters - Candy; Father - Levy; Mother - Martin; Tommy - Donald Cowper; Bar patron - Ramis

8 Commercial: Blind Fists of the Furious Dragon

A classic schtick-fu film starring Bruce Lee's successor, Lin Ye Tang.

Elder - Ramis; Lin Ye Tang - Thomas; Servant - Martin; Long Tall Beansprout - Flaherty; Opponent in red - Candy; villain - extra; announcer: Harvey K-Tel - Thomas

9 Dr. Tongue and His Animal Friends

Dr Tongue's guest the Swami has brought a cobra.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Swami Banananda - Ramis

10 Commercial: Family Detective from Amco the Toy People

Solve your family problems by playing the Family Detective.

Father - Levy; Mother - Martin; announcer - Candy; kids - Donald Cowper, Dara Cowper


11 Dialing for Dollars: Three Jerks and a Gal

It's the end of the film, time for a call. He calls Mrs.Green (no relation, honest).

Moe Green - Ramis; Mrs Green - Martin

1-16 Goodbye America
Airdate: 3 and 7 October 1977

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Goodbye America profiles super star Johnny LaRue in his penthouse.

1 Commercial: Nothing

Nothing to buy, no money down, no credit card required.

Harvey K-Tel - Thomas

OPENING


2 Winning Chess with Boris Morris

Some unusual winning strategies are discussed.

Boris Morris - Ramis; Mrs Scottnik - Martin

3 SCTV AM News Today: Earl's attire/Roda Barret's Hollywood

Earl's attire causes technical problems so Floyd sends him off to change (twice) and takes his items; Johnny LaRue reports on the seal hunt in Labrador and saves a seal; Air Togo piggy back air service. Earl introduces Roda.

4 Roda Barret's Hollywood: Roy Rogers, Spiro Agnew

Roda has the news from Hollywood, mecca of Gods with feet of clay.

Roda Barret (Rona Barrett) - O'Hara

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Johnny LaRue - Candy; activists, hunter - extras

5 Commercial: 20 Depressing Hits by Connie Franklin (R)

'I'm Losing My Hearing', 'Stop Slapping My Face', 'You Depress Me'. Order now and get 'The Lighter Side of Connie Franklin'.

Connie Franklin - Martin; Announcer: Harvey K-Tel - Thomas


6 PSA: So You're Dead...Now What? (R)

Seven warning signs that you may be dead.

Moe Green ('Maurice', licensed chiropractor) - Ramis

7 Good-Bye America: Johnny LaRue Part 1

Heraldo visits a party at Johnny LaRue's penthouse apartment. He brushes off Earl. Johnny shows him around. Bobby Bittman shows off Johnny's charity awards; they persuade Bobby to do a bit. Heraldo then chats with Connie Franklin (who sings some of her new material from 'Disco Connie').

Heraldo Rivera - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Connie Franklin - Martin; Harvey K-Tel - Thomas; Moe Green - Ramis; Trish Nutly - O'Hara; gerbils, weasels - extras

8 Commercial: Sex

Moe prefers sex over mashed potatoes.

Moe Green - Ramis; Mrs Green - Martin; Pitch man - Levy


7a Good-Bye America: Johnny LaRue Part 2

We get to see Johnny's bedroom, where he runs his empire. Johnny waxes philosophical about success.

Heraldo Rivera - Flaherty; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Harvey K-Tel - Thomas; Moe Green - Ramis; Trish Nutly - O'Hara; gerbils, weasels - extras

1-17 Galaxy 66
Airdate: 10 and 14 October 1977

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The first appearance of Edith Prickley, SCTV's future Station Manager, fully formed, leopard skins and all. 50's sci-fi provides a running concept for the show.

Additional Viewing: Galaxy 66 is a parody of 60s TV show Route 66.

1 Diving for Dollars

Mexicans dive off a cliff for small amounts of American change.

Host Reuben Pepe Hortenas - Flaherty; Contestant Beatrice Lobo - Martin; Tourist Jake Pearson - Levy; Juaddy - Candy; mexicans - Tony Rosato, extras

OPENING


2 Sunrise Semester: Elevator Conversation with Edith Prickley

Edith breaks the ice on the elevator.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Elevator passengers - Flaherty, Candy, O'Hara; Dennis Peterson (Swami Banananda) - Ramis

3 Commercial: Serfs Breath Mints

For breath like early morning dew on a golf course.

Drunks - Levy, Candy; Cop - Thomas

4 Sci-Fi Theater with Bradley Omar

Bradley wonders about the future, and introduces the adventures of Micron and Antaur.

5 Movie: Galaxy 66

Micron and Antaur cruise the galaxy. They have trouble with a mutant, and pick up a chick.

Buzz Mahovalich as Micron Zegrabar - Flaherty; Todd Ellis as Antaur - Thomas; Mutant - Levy; Bad Mutant - Candy; Space-Woman - O'Hara

Bradley Omar - Ramis

6 Promo: To Tell the Truth

Guess which one is Micron Zegrabar.

Announcer - Candy; Number one - extra; Number two - Levy; Micron Zegrabar - Flaherty


7 Commercial: Mrs Prickley's Jams Jellies and Preserves

'I hope you choke on it.'

Edith Prickley - Martin; Announcer - Thomas

8 Promo: Swish Buckler

Sailors get mutinous on the Bounty.

Announcer - Candy; Captain - Candy; Sailors - Levy, Thomas, Ramis; Mr Christie - Flaherty

9 Commercial: Pyramid Power

Stop wasting time on dead-end spiritual pursuits.

Orson Welles - Candy; Satisfied user - Ramis, O'Hara, Levy

5a Galaxy 66

Micron and Antaur don't think much of Pyramid power.

Micron Zegrabar - Flaherty; Antaur - Thomas

10 Beside the Point

Marvin and his guests stray from the topic at hand.

Host: Marvin O'Shea - Ramis; Farley Picayune - Thomas; Hag Hamatzo - Flaherty; Bill Caldwell - Levy; Ralph Stegman - Candy; Announcer - Candy

11 Commercial: Bald & Brassy

Dorothy Hamster - O'Hara; announcer - Candy


12 Words to Live By: Dr. Bradley Omar

Bradley muses about the future.

Dr Bradley Omar of the Universal Church of Science - Ramis; Micron Zegrabar - Flaherty; Antaur - Thomas; Space-Woman - O'Hara; announcer - Candy

1-18 Madame Blitzman
Airdate: 17 and 21 October 1977

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Features the first ever Monster Chiller Horror Theatre and its unconvincing host Count Floyd, aka Floyd Robertson. The Venerable Electric commercial features two members of the scientific academy in Madame Blitzman - getting some extra mileage from those costumes.

Additional Viewing: Madame Blitzman is a parody of the film Madame Curie (1943).

1 PSA: Recriminalize Marijuana

A lawyer has trouble with his case.

Lawyer Ted Gordon - Thomas; Judge - Flaherty; Jury - extras; Announcer - Candy

OPENING


2 Commercial: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Hicks - Thomas, Flaherty, Candy; Announcer - Candy

3 Dante's Inferno

Contestants vie to be the most evil to win big prizes, or be cast into the flaming pit. Prizes: MusicMasher from Venerable Electric, all your neighbours possessions.

Host: Bill Dante - Candy; Linda (contestant 1) - O'Hara; Holly (contestant 2) - Martin; Leon (contestant 3) - Ramis; Don the Announcer - Flaherty; Demons - Thomas, Levy; studio audience - Tony Rosato, extras

4 Commercial: Phillips Milk of Amnesia

To help you forget your problems.

Woman - O'Hara

5 SCTV AM News Today: Earl Editorial on Women Newscasters

South Moluccans demand independence. Johnny LaRue opens health club for rabbits. Earl has an outrageous commentary on women newscasters.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty


6 Promo: Meatball Heroes

'Nam veterans now run a restaurant.

Tony - Flaherty; Angie - Levy; Sal - Ramis; Customers - Thomas, Martin; announcer - Thomas

7 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Madame Blitzman

'With Floyd Robertson as Count Floyd.' Tonight's thriller is Madame Blitzman.

8 Movie: Madame Blitzman

As Madame Blitzman receives an award from the academy, she looks back on her career.

She met her husband at one of his lectures, where his theories weren't received very well. They married and worked as a team.

Madame Blitzman - Martin; Venerable Electric man - Thomas; Milos Hatrick - Ramis; Other Members of the Academy - Thomas, Ramis, Flaherty, extras; Louis Blitzman - Levy

Floyd goes to a commercial.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

9 Commercial: Venerable Electric

VE research goes on. 'Our main concern is power.'

Venerable Electric man - Thomas; Milos Hatrick - Ramis; Announcer - Candy

10 SCTV News Bulletin: Tornado Warning

Announcer - Thomas; Tough Guy - Thomas


7a Monster Chiller Horror Theater: Madame Blitzman Part 2

Madame Blitzman continues.

8a Movie: Madame Blitzman Part 2

Under increasing pressure from the Academy (Milos in particular) Madame Blitzman works to cure her husband, but her discovery comes too late.

Madame Blitzman - Martin; Venerable Electric man - Thomas; Milos Hatrick - Ramis; Other Members of the Academy - Thomas, Ramis, Flaherty, extras; Louis Blitzman - Levy

Floyd apologizes for the film, and promises a better one next week.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

1-19 The 129,000 Question
Airdate: 24 and 28 October 1977

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Additional Viewing: Elvira Mad Again parodies Elvira Madigan.

1 Commercial: Dr Benson Credit Psychiatrist

Psychiatry at prices you can afford.

Dr Benson - Thomas; Paranoid - Martin; Nymphomaniac - O'Hara; Manic Depressive - Levy; Anxiety Syndrome - Ramis; Neurotic - Candy; Kleptomaniac - Flaherty

OPENING


2 Wake Up with Alki Stereopolis

Alki wakes up and has breakfast.

Alki Stereopolis - Flaherty; Angry Husband - Candy

3 Commercial: Fluffy Puff Toilet Paper

Soft as a fine tablecloth.

Husband - Levy; Wife - Martin; Guest - O'Hara; Guest - Ramis

4 SCTV AM News Today: Earl's Item doesn't come up

Earl's filmed item on Commissioner Shaeffer's resignation doesn't come up. Female Lutonian athletes on a goodwill tour go shopping and sightseeing (hardware store, lingerie store, shoe store). Earl's film still doesn't come up. US loan to Togoland. Earl's film finally comes up (Police Commissioner Shaeffer has a coronary).

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy; Russian Gymnast - Martin; Russian Weight lifter - Candy; Shoe Salesman - Ramis; Commissioner Shaeffer - Thomas; Cop - Tony Rosato; Bodyguard - Candy; Cop - extra

5 PSA: Do Not Remove Tags

Tags are for your protection.

Wife - Martin; Husband - Thomas; announcer - Candy


6 Promo: Fat Masterson - Private Eye

Grandson of the legendary Fat Masterson takes on his own hard-hitting series.

Fat Masterson - Candy; Mr Abbott - Levy; Pizza guy - Ramis; Announcer - Flaherty

7 The $129,000 Question with Moe Green

Moe spooks the contestant out of $129,000.

Host: Moe Green - Ramis; Gerald (contestant) - Flaherty; Don (announcer) - Candy; Charlene - O'Hara

8 Commercial: The Point Shave and Haircut from Shickette

'Get the point.'

Sharon - O'Hara; Pointy headed guy - Levy; Co-worker - Martin; announcer - Candy

9 Elvira Mad Again Part II

Elvira tests Sigstid's love.

Elvira - O'Hara; Sigstid - Thomas; announcer - Candy

10 Commercial: Don Perignon

Milwaukee's favorite champagne. 'The Beer of Champagnes.'

Construction workers - Flaherty, Levy, Thomas, extras; Announcer - Candy; Bar patrons - Flaherty, Ramis, Levy, Thomas


11 Words to Live By: Father Chick Murphy

An upbeat sermon with lots of sports metaphors.

Father Murphy - Candy; Basketball playing Fathers - Levy, Ramis, Flaherty, Thomas

1-20 Dr Tongue's House of Wax / SCTV Boogie
Airdate: 31 October and 4 November 1977

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House of Wax was inspired by the 1953 3D movie of the same name. It features the first appearance of the horror duo of Dr Tongue and Bruno, in a 3D film, and on Monster Chiller Horror Theatre. The trio of Tongue, Bruno and Count Floyd would become one of the anchors of the show, and result in some of the most memorable sketches. Also features SCTV Boogie, eventually to become Mel's Rock Pile.

1 Commercial: Attention Span Booklet

Scientific method acting to help your attention span. 'All you have to do is pay attention.'

Actor - Thomas; Wife - Martin; Husband - Ramis


2 Sunrise Semester: Meteorology 101 with April Squall

Writing backwards, sun and cloud signs.

April Squall - Martin

3 Promo: Mick Mason - Police Photographer

Mick came from the cushy world of commercial photography...

Mick Mason - Levy; Frank - Candy; corpse - Ramis; Chief - Thomas; cops - extras; corpse - O'Hara; announcer - Flaherty

4 It Was That Way with Keith Hampshire

Keith gets Billy and Terry reenact their historic fight.

Keith Hampshire - Thomas; Billy Masters - Flaherty; Terry Hardin - Ramis

5 Commercial: Join the Shelley People

Average folks choose Shelley over Keats.

Sharon - O'Hara; Announcer - Thomas; Shelley man - Flaherty


6 Commercial: Pocket Belt, Pocket Hat and Spare Sock Caddy

Do you find yourself carrying things because today's fashions don't have enough pockets? Makes a great gift.

Pitch man - Flaherty

7 I Cry Each Day I Die

A layered and complex melodrama.

Madge/Leslie - O'Hara; Carol/Bonnie - Martin; Tom/Max - Ramis; Coleman - Thomas; Third Director - Flaherty; Mickey the agent - Levy; crew, audience - extras

8 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dr Tongue's Evil House of Wax

Floyd's got a seriously scary feature this week, in 3D.

Clip: Dr Tongue's Evil House of Wax

People have gone missing, and a girl finds out why while visiting the local wax museum. (Note: No 3D music)

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Shop Owner - Thomas; Woman - Martin; Wax figures - O'Hara, Ramis

The Count flogs 3D glasses for 18 bucks.

Count Floyd - Flaherty


9 SCTV Boogie

SCTV's live dance show, wherein host 'Rockin' Mel Slirrup gets down to the biggest disco hits, and talks to some of the kids who have come down to be on the show. They have a disco fashion show. (Note: This show later became SCTV Disco, then Mel's Rock Pile)

Host: Mel Slirrup - Levy; Announcer - Candy; Robin Duke - O'Hara; Rick Keaton - Thomas; Ray Klinger - Ramis; Alice - Laela Weinzweig; Paul Fistinyourface - Candy; Lexic Pimplehair - Flaherty; dancers - extras

1-21 The Sammy Maudlin Show
Airdate: 7 and 11 November 1977

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Featuring the second-ever Sammy Maudlin Show, as no less than two guests show outtakes from their respective specials - Bobby Bittman and Kenneth Clark.

Additional Viewing: Kenneth Clark's 1969 BBC series Civilisation: A Personal View.

1 Commercial: Counterattack

Because bugs are people too.

Male bug - Levy; Female bug - Martin; Black Shirt Bug Spray - Thomas; announcer - Candy

OPENING


2 Paul's Workshop with Paul Fistinyourface

Paul builds a lunch table for little boys and girls.

Paul Fistinyourface - Candy; Bill - Thomas

3 Promo: Baretta's Bird

Fred the Cockatoo hits the streets with his own show.

Announcer - Candy; Chick - O'Hara; Crook - Candy; Bird - Flaherty; Police Chief - Thomas

4 SCTV AM News Today: Dogs

Floyd's items are Saudi Arabia declares war on Yemen; new 'almost equal rights' amendment; Togo withdraws from earthquake insurance program; Earl has a series of stories with a dog tie-in. He then proceeds to give an editorial on dogs. Floyd introduces Roda.

5 Rhoda Barret's Hollywood: Indira Gandhi

Roda has some clips from Indira Gandhi's new club show. Indira deals with a heckler.

Roda Barret - O'Hara; Indira Gandhi - Martin; Swami Banananda - Ramis; crowd - Thomas, Candy, Levy

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty


6 Promo: Hal Holbrook as James Whitmore

A great character actor plays another great character actor.

Hal Holbrook as James Whitmore - Thomas; announcer - Flaherty

7 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bobby Bittman, Kenneth Clark Part 1

Joined in progress, as Sammy finishes singing 'Taking a Chance on Love.' William plugs his new book 'My Life With God'. Bobby Bittman crashes the show with outtakes from his new special.

Outtakes: The Salesman Sketch and The Breakfast Sketch

Bobby fires an actress and Chi Chi gets electrocuted.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Actress - O'Hara; Chi Chi (Charo) - Martin; crew - extras

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy

8 Commercial: Serfs Breath Mints (R)

For breath like early morning dew on a golf course.

Drunks - Levy, Candy; Cop - Thomas; announcer - Ramis

7a The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bobby Bittman, Kenneth Clark Part 2

Kenneth Clarke has some outtakes from his latest special.

Outtakes: The History of Intelligence

Sir Kenneth makes some gaffes.

Kenneth Clark - Ramis

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Kenneth Clark - Ramis; ignored guest - Thomas

9 PSA: Shoplifting (R)

Earnest staff persuade a shoplifter to confess.

Shopper - O'Hara; Kenny - Flaherty; Gus - Candy; Cashier - Martin; Manager - Ramis; Announcer - Thomas


10 Dialing for Dollars: Sandy Moss

Moe calls his girl and they get into an argument. Moe dumps her.

Moe Green - Ramis; Sandy Moss - O'Hara

1-22 World at War
Airdate: 14 and 18 November 1977

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Additional Viewing: Lowell Thompson Remembers is a spoof of the TV show Lowell Thomas Remembers, and was completely improvised.

1 Commercial: Head and Chest

Only for problem dandruff.

Wife - Martin; Husband - Levy; announcer - Candy

OPENING


2 Passport to Adventure: Africa

Bob and Betty have travel advice and snapshots of various Holiday Inns they stayed in in Africa.

Bob Wilson - Thomas; Betty Wilson - O'Hara

3 Promo: Klagg

A Swedish detective comes to work for the New York Police Dept. Criminals can hear him coming, but there's nothing they can do about it.

Klagg - Ramis; Announcer - Flaherty; New York cop - Candy; crook - Flaherty; safe crackers - Thomas, Levy

4 The World of Mystery: Sandwich on the Orient Express

Orson introduces the feature.

Sandwich on the Orient Express

Travelers are harried by a brutal guard looking for spies on the Orient Express.

Man with sandwich - Flaherty; Man with chicken - Levy; Border Guard - Candy; Guard - Ramis; Woman Traveler - Martin

Host: Orson Welles - Candy

5 Commercial: Sleepfast

To help you sleep - fast.

Wife - O'Hara; Husband - Thomas; Announcer - Candy


6 Commercial: Homelier You (R)

For women who aren't appreciated for their brains.

Beautiful woman - O'Hara; Homely woman - Martin; Tony - Flaherty

7 World at War: Baseball

A documentary look at Hitler's daring attempt to undermine American morale by attacking baseball. Hitler's panzer divisions destroyed St Louis' baseball stadium. But the Americans quickly rebuilt the stadium and the advantage was squandered.

Narrator - Thomas; Hitler - Thomas; Eva Braun - O'Hara; Wolfgang Schmettering - Flaherty; Translator - Ramis; Eddie Duval - Levy; Lord Stanley Bannister - Ramis; Marjorie Gross - Martin; Otis Barn - Candy

8 Commercial: Staywhite

What heavy smokers like Johnny LaRue use to keep their teeth white.

Johnny LaRue - Candy; crew - Flaherty


9 Lowell Thompson Remembers: 1937

Lowell looks back at the newsreels from 1937.

Lowell Thompson - Flaherty

1-23 The Grapes of Mud
Airdate: 21 and 25 November 1977

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Muley's Roundhouse includes a nice tribute to the Three Stooges; Muley turns up again in The Grapes of Mud.

Additional Viewing: John Ford's 1940 classic The Grapes of Wrath.

1 Muley's Roundhouse Part I

Muley the switch engineer gets ready for lunch and carps.

Muley Graves - Ramis; announcer - Thomas

OPENING


1a Muley's Roundhouse Part II

Muley shows a Three Dummies film.

2 The Three Dummies: Of Mice and Dummies

The exterminators arrive to exterminate mice before the party.

Curly Howard - Candy; Moe Howard - Levy; Larry Fine - Flaherty; Margaret Dumont - O'Hara; Butler - Thomas; Maid - Martin

Muley moans some more, about Bolsheviks. He looks at some of the drawings kids have sent in. A LaRue production.

Muley Graves - Ramis

3 Promo: Library Police (R)

Drama about the people who protect our libraries.

Criminal - Candy; His wife - Martin; Library Police - Thomas, Levy; announcer - Ramis

4 SCTV AM News Today: Terrorist Picnic

Floyd has footage of host Bob Baker going mad on the set of Truth or Consequences. Earl has footage of the International Association of Terrorists picnic.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Bob Baker - Thomas; Contestant - Martin; crew - extras; Terrorists - Martin, Ramis, O'Hara, Thomas, extras; Tool and Dye workers - Candy, extras


5 Commercial: Spray-On Socks (R)

No more droop around the ankles.

Chick - Martin; Man with drooping socks - Levy; Man with the solution - Candy; Miscellaneous dancers - Thomas, Flaherty, O'Hara, Ramis; announcer - Thomas

6 SCTV Movie of the Week: The Grapes of Mud Part I

Tom arrives home from prison. The family is packing up to leave California and go to Oklahoma to escape the mud. En route, they pick up a preacher who has "lost the calling". Grandpa doesn't make it all the way. Tom gets a job dusting crops, but gets mean mad when Muley calls him a red and beats him to death.

Ma Joad - O'Hara; Henry Fonda as Tom Joad - Flaherty; Pa Joad - Thomas; Rose Joad - Martin; Preacher - Levy; Muley Graves - Ramis

7 Commercial: Mrs Prickley's Jams Jellies and Preserves (R)

Edith Prickley - Martin; announcer - Thomas

8 Disco Farming

Dancers - Ramis, Flaherty, Martin, O'Hara, Thomas, Levy; announcer - Thomas


6a SCTV Movie of the Week: The Grapes of Mud Part II

Tom tells grandma what happened; he leaves for Arizona.

Ma Joad - O'Hara; Henry Fonda as Tom Joad - Flaherty

1-24 Officer Friendly
Airdate: 28 November 1977

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Quick-fire parodies of morning news programs and daytime kids shows, along with another Masterpiece Theatre. Earl takes on organized crime on SCTV News.

Additional Viewing: BBC's All Creatures Great and Small.

1 Message from Moe: License Suspended

SCTV's license has been suspended, but programming will continue.

Moe Green - Ramis

OPENING


2 A.M. Little America with Tom Brokraw

Tom interviews the average American family. He then talks to TV's Wonder Woman, Linda Carter, who's trying to branch out into other roles. Linda doesn't like his attitude.

Tom Brokraw - Thomas; John Stone - Flaherty; Mrs Stone - O'Hara; Daughter - Dara Cowper; fraction - Donald Cowper; Lynda Karter - O'Hara

3 Promo: Dan Money

Dan has a big wallet and he knows how to use it.

Dan Money - Flaherty; Funky Guy - Candy; Man with broken watch - Thomas; Judge - Levy; Jury - Ramis, extras; announcer - Candy

4 SCTV AM News Today: Mafia Interview

Earl interviews a top figure in organized crime in Melonville.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Mafia Hit man - Candy

5 Commercial: Civil Engineering

Exciting opportunities in civil occupations.

Polite pitch man - Thomas; Surly waitress - Martin; Surly announcer - Flaherty


6 Promo: AC/DC (R)

In the morning she's a Mrs, in the afternoon she's a Ms, in the evening she's a Mr.

AC/DC - Martin; Husband - Thomas; Pretty Young Thing - O'Hara; Subordinate - Ramis; Dykes - O'Hara, extras; Pretty young thing - Brenda Donohue; announcer - Ramis

7 Officer Friendly

Officer Friendly deals with a young offender and has a visit from the social worker and the child's father.

Officer Friendly - Ramis; Sylvester Parker - Thomas; Mr Parker - Flaherty; Ms Taylor the Social Worker - Martin

8 Promo: The Undersea World of Marcel Cousteau

Underwater mime.

Cousteau - Flaherty; announcer - Candy

9 Promo: Masterpiece Theatre: All the Long-Leggedy Beasties

This week, the drama of a veterinarian with a proclivity for putting animals to sleep.

Alistair Cook - Flaherty; Veterinarian - Thomas; Farmer - Candy; Old woman - O'Hara; Friend - Flaherty


10 Dream Interpretation with Dr. Raoul Wilson

Dr Wilson examines the dream of Rita X.

Raoul Wilson - Levy; Rita X - Martin; Bob - Ramis; Italian soldier - Flaherty; Mexican - Candy; Nazi - Thomas; soldiers - Tony Rosato, extras

1-25 The Man Who Would Be King of the Popes
Airdate: 5 and 9 December 1977

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Anchored by one of the great movie parodies, The Man Who Would Be King of the Popes, featuring three giants of British stage and screen, Richard Harris, Peter O'Toole and Richard Burton - all three appear together again in How the Middle East Was Won in Series 2. Princess Carlotta is a curious one-off, as she's Edith Prickly in everything but name and leopard skins. Meanwhile, Earl Camembert's little-known children's show is cancelled.

Additional Viewing: Becket (1964) meets The Lion In Winter (1968) in The Man Who Would Be King of the Popes.

1 Commercial: Tiny Tops

No need to suffer the embarrassment of a hairless baby.

Embarrassed parents - Ramis, Martin; Mocking guests - Candy, O'Hara, Flaherty; Announcer (Harvey K-Tel) - Thomas; crew

OPENING


2 Morning Facial with Princess Carlotta Part I

Princess Carlotta gives herself a facial.

Princess Carlotta (Edith Prickley) - Martin

3 Promo: Check Please

Spock and McCoy together in a sitcom, running a diner.

Spock (Leonard Nimoy) - Ramis; McCoy (DeForest Kelly) - Thomas; Announcer - Candy

2a Morning Facial with Princess Carlotta Part II

She removes the plaster, but it hasn't helped any; Carlotta is philosophical. A Johnny LaRue production. Note: Carlotta is Edith Prickley without the leopard skins.

Princess Carlotta (Edith Prickley) - Martin

4 Promo: The Man Who Would Be King of the Popes

The gripping epic of the king who wanted to be pope, the pope who wanted to be king, and the man who would betray them both.

Peter O'Toole (O'Tule) as the King - Flaherty; Katharine Hepburn (Cathryn Hepbern) - O'Hara; Richard Burton (Berton) as the Pope - Candy; Richard Harris (Hariss) as King of the Popes - Thomas; Victor Spinetti (Spynneti) as the Tailor - Levy; Announcer - Candy


5 Commercial: Mr. Coffee-Table Book from Venerable Electric

It's a table, coffee-maker and book binder.

Dom Dimaggio - Flaherty; Announcer: Harvey K-Tel - Thomas

6 The Uncle Earl Show

The Uncle Earl show is cancelled.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Moe Green - Ramis; Johnny LaRue - Candy

7 Promo: Harry Filth

Harry Filth is a man with a big gun who's not afraid to use it.

Harry Filth - Candy; Captain - Flaherty; Cal - Ramis; Announcer - Flaherty; Bystanders - O'Hara, possibly Robin Duke, extras

8 Insights with Hugh Betcha: Socrates

A brief insight into the life of Socrates. Socrates deals with a heckler.

Hugh Betcha - Flaherty; Socrates - Ramis; Glaucon - Levy; Ancimocus - Candy; Heckler - Thomas

9 Commercial: Get Tough self-help book

How to deal with obnoxious men.

Construction workers - Flaherty, Candy, Thomas; Tough woman - Martin; Not so tough woman - O'Hara

10 Commercial: Grumbles Restaurant on Route 41

"Nobody who comes here likes it, you won't too." And the upstairs disco is a real drag.

Pitch man - Thomas; Patrons - Candy, extras


11 Enough About Me: Antonio Luciani

Catherine's guest is the director Antonio Luciani, but we never really learn anything about him.

Hostess: Katherine Timber - O'Hara; Antonio Luciani - Flaherty

1-26 Lust for Paint
Airdate: 12 and 16 December 1977

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Features a show-length parody of Moulin Rouge, the life of Toulouse-Lautrec with Joe Flaherty playing the lead Jose Ferrer role, shown on Dialing For Dollars. The title is possibly inspired by "Lust For Life", the biography of Vincent Van Gogh. At the end of the show, Moe loses his phone and is fired by Guy Caballero (who once again does not appear in person). (Show moved from 9:00 to 9:30 on Mondays)

Additional Viewing: Moulin Rouge, the life of Toulouse-Lautrec, and Lust For Life, the life of Vincent Van Gogh.

1 Dialing for Dollars: Lust For Paint Part 1

Moe introduces the movie and tries to make a call, but his phone is dead.

2 Movie: Lust for Paint Part I

Toulain paints at the local cafe, on their tablecloths. He declares his love for Lagalou, but is humiliated. He meets Marie in the street and takes her back to his studio.

Toulain Vantrec - Flaherty; Lagalou - O'Hara; Coucou - Ramis; Waiter - Candy; dancers, diners - extras; Marie - Martin

Moe Green - Ramis

OPENING


2a Movie: Lust for Paint Part II

Toulain falls for Marie's charms. Her boyfriend arrives and beats him up.

Toulain Vantrec - Flaherty; Baboon - Candy; Marie - Martin

3 Promo: Celebrity Tattletales

Celebrities tell secrets about their spouses.

Host: Burt Conby - Levy; Prince Philip - Flaherty; Queen Elizabeth - O'Hara; Roy Rogers - extra

1a Dialing for Dollars: Lust For Paint Part 2

Moe's cheque to the phone company bounced; they disconnect his phone.

2b Movie: Lust for Paint Part II continued

Marie has left him - Toulain turns to drink. His father visits. Marie returns to try and get some cash out of him.

Toulain Vantrec - Flaherty; Waiter - Ramis; Monet - Thomas; Degas - Levy; Father - Flaherty; Baboon - Candy

Moe Green - Ramis; operator - O'Hara; phone technician - Thomas

4 Promo: The Babe Ruth Story

The uplifting story of one of baseball's immortals, wherein Babe promises to hit a few homers for a sick kid.

Babe Ruth - Candy; Father - Flaherty; Mother - O'Hara; Bobby - Donald Cowper; Doctor - Ramis; announcer - Candy


5 Commercial: 50 Practical Jokes (R)

'Spot on the tie', 'Phantom shoulder tap', 'Bronx handshake.' 50 jokes that require no skill, no special equipment, and no intelligence.

TV Magician Marshall Brodeen - Thomas; Sucker - Candy

2c Movie: Lust for Paint Part III

Lagalou has hit hard times. Toulain helps her out, but is humiliated and collapses.

Toulain Vantrec - Flaherty; Waiter - Ramis; Lagalou - O'Hara; Monet - Thomas; Degas - Levy; diners - extras

6 Promo: Mick Mason - Police Photographer (R)

Mick came from the cushy world of commercial photography...

Mick Mason - Levy; Frank - Candy; corpse - Ramis; Chief - Thomas; cops - extras; corpse - O'Hara; announcer - Flaherty

2d Movie: Lust for Paint Part III conclusion

Toulain has strange dreams on his death bed. His father comes and tells him his paintings are in the Louvre.

Toulain Vantrec - Flaherty; Lagalou - O'Hara; Coucou - Ramis; Waiter - Candy; Marie - Martin; Monet - Thomas; Degas - Levy; Babe Ruth - Candy; Father - Flaherty; Doctor - extra

7 Commercial: Fluffy Puff Toilet Paper (R)

Soft as a fine tablecloth.

Husband - Levy; Wife - Martin; Guest - O'Hara; Guest - Ramis


1b Dialing for Dollars: Lust For Paint Part 3

Moe's set is dismantled. Guy fires Moe.

Moe Green - Ramis; Guy Caballero (voice only) - Flaherty; crew - extras

1-27 Repeats (US Best Of)

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A best of shown in the US, but including one sketch, Sunrise Semester, not shown in the regular Canadian episodes.

1 Commercial: Pocket Belt, Pocket Hat and Spare Sock Caddy (R)

Do you find yourself carrying things because today's fashions don't have enough pockets? Makes a great gift.

Pitch man - Flaherty

OPENING


2 Sunrise Semester: Beekeeping with Lin Ye Tang

Lin has helpful tips on knowing your bees, smoking, and dealing with stings.

Lin Ye Tang - Thomas

3 Promo: It's an Unusual World, Isn't It? (R)

This week, Yuri Geller, a hospital where dead celebrities are living as vegetables, and a martial artist.

Yuri Geller - Ramis; Nurse in hospital of vegetables - Martin; Tai Kwan Do - Candy; Kung fu fighters with broken hands - Flaherty, Martin, O'Hara, Thomas; announcer - Flaherty

4 SCTV AM News Today: Earl plays taped music (R)

Floyd has a story on Beirut fighting. Earl plays taped music to add colour to his trivial items. Malta declares war on Corsica. Floyd destroys his tape recorder.

Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy

5 Promo: Hal Holbrook as James Whitmore (R)

A great character actor plays another great character actor.

Hal Holbrook as James Whitmore - Thomas; announcer - Flaherty

Series 1 Bumper


6 Alistair Cook's Armenia (R)

Alistair hosts this look at the rug-oriented Armenian culture.

Alistair Cook - Flaherty; Peasant - Martin

7 Commercial: National Drugstore Association (R)

Mr Connell helps Mrs O'Riley with her arthritis pain.

Mr Connell - Ramis; Mrs O'Riley - O'Hara

8 Dining with LaRue: Health Food (R)

LaRue causes a ruckus at a health food restaurant by smoking and trying to order meat and booze.

Johnny LaRue - Candy; Swami Banananda - Ramis; Waitress - Martin; Hippy - Levy; diners - Thomas, extras

9 Promo: James Whitmore in An Evening with Col. Sanders (R)

"Give 'em Hell Harlan." The Colonel reminisces about meeting various Presidents, and Hitler.

James Whitmore as Colonel Sanders - Thomas; announcer - Flaherty

Series 1 Bumper


10 Feedback with Moe Green (R)

Moe's phone-in show. After some miscellaneous calls, Moe takes some particularly biting criticism from Guy Caballero, president of the network. (Credit crawl over end)

Host Moe Green - Ramis; Depressed Caller - Candy; Feminist Caller - O'Hara; Dyslexic Caller - Levy; Guy Caballero - Flaherty